Suppressed
by nekked
Summary: Ch. 15: "The moon did not reach here, but she radiated something he liked. It was softer, more matted on her skin. Like she'd absorbed it and made it her own. He really…really liked it…" — LuMa, ZoHan; Rated M for citrus, swearing, and the general insanity
1. Meet And Greet

_**A/N:** Revised edition starting now! Trying to fancify all my older stuff._

_**Warning:** The following material is rated M due to frequent adult language and sexual content. Please do not read what you can't handle._

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own One Piece or any of the character's involved._

* * *

**Suppressed**

**Chapter 1: Meet And Greet**

* * *

Margaret could feel her face flushing. The redness was probably creeping down to her neck and collar bone area as well.

The first few times she'd done this, every touch made her aware of just how embarrassing it would be if she were to get caught. Of course, those internal cautions had been abandoned when she'd crossed the breaking point and decided it would be best to relieve herself of these needs. It was sheer luck that it was in the middle of her night watch and in the limited privacy of the woods.

Every wave of pleasure was accompanied by the thought that this probably wasn't how normal girls behaved. Her fingers moved over her favorite spot and she winced, biting her lip to keep from crying out. She increased the pace of the rubbing and practically melted, using a tree for support. She dipped a finger into the source of her wetness and ran the same finger over the nub near the top of her groin. It was becoming too much. Her thoughts were starting to blend together, a hurricane medley of self scolding and sounds she wished she could vocalize. Her breathing was ragged, her hips thrusting towards the ground as she continued to pleasure herself. Her knee's spread further apart and that's when she felt it. Right _there._

Her vision went hazy. A strangled moan managed to get past her lips. Her entire body went numb with desire. Harder. Faster. More pin pointed. Harder. Wider. _Yes_.

The orgasm hit hard, every ounce of her being shaking in sheer satisfaction. She let out a heady groan and collapsed the rest of the way to the ground. She removed her jittery fingers and wiped them on the grass. While she was still breathing hard, she reached into her cleavage and produced a newspaper clipping.

Ever since _he'd_ left, Nyon-Baa had made sure to keep her up to date on his adventure's in the outside world. He'd finally been able to meet up with his crew again, and was back to keeping the Marine's busy. Of course, that meant he didn't visit much. In fact, he hadn't been back to Amazon Lily since Hebihime-sama had dropped him off at Sabaody Archepelago. That's when…well, _this_ had started.

With Nyon-Baa's permission, Margaret had taken to clipping out the article's about the Straw Hat Pirate's and their notorious captain. Margaret unfolded the one in her hand, a newer one about an upset on Fishman Island.

Her favorite picture of him was at the top: his left arm was raised in a silent challenge toward his opponent, dark hair flying messily in the wind, free of the hat that hung by a string between his broad shoulder's. His gaze - so bold and serious. Sinewy muscles peeked through his shirt's tattered sleeves.

He just looked…so…_manly_. Margaret could feel herself turning on again. This always happened, and her own reaction's to a simple piece of paper were baffling.

_This is definitely not normal._

She laid her head back against the tree and sighed a frustrated sigh. What was she doing? Why did she FEEL like this? And_ there_? What if she caught some sort of _disease_ from doing this? _What if she already had a disease?_ These questions weren't new, and they never succeeded in deterring her from doing it - whatever it was - over and over again. Her eyes scanned the now sunless ocean and she shook her head.

Were men supposed to make you do things like this?

"I really…don't understand, Luffy…"

* * *

"LIKE I SAID, SHIT HEAD, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I WENT THROUGH THOSE TWO YEARS. HOW COULD YOU WHEN YOU WERE PLAYING AROUND WITH WAH WAH WAH WAH…"

Luffy admitted that he might've brought this vocal shit storm upon himself, but he couldn't help going into neutral mode as Sanji had yet another temper tantrum. Why did he have to get so upset when_ he_ was the one that had asked _him_ about his time spent on Amazon Lily?

He sighed as the frustrated cook went on banging pots in the kitchen, oblivious to Luffy's disinterest in his plights. The rubber man quietly left the table and ventured out to check on the situation with Nami.

"Of course we're not there, idiot." Nami stared at her captain in annoyance and went back to fixing her map. If she could just get this damn line in proportion…

"But Sanji won't leave me alone. He'll stop bugging me if we get there faster." Luffy pouted and played with his hat on the grassy deck. "Do you think Franky could do another Coup de Burst?"

"No, I don't. I _do_ think you should let me finish this, though. Go play with Chopper or something. We'll get there when we get there." Nami picked up an uneaten piece of sea king meat from her lunch and threw it across the deck. It had the desired effect, and Luffy was gone in a flash. He caught the meat in his teeth, and realized he'd been tricked mid chew. Usopp looked up from the project he was working on and Chopper walked over to them.

"Hey, Luffy, what's it like on Amazon Lily?" The little reindeer looked up at him with big curious eyes. Luffy laughed.

"Well, you know, there's only women on it. It's pretty warm there…uh…and it functions pretty much like any other island."

Luffy laid on his stomach and rested his head on his arms, trying to think of any other significant details.

"Hancock, the lady you guys saw before we left Sabaody, is their leader. She's super nice. Kind of weird, but nice. She has a giant snake she hangs out with. His name is Salome. Actually, they ALL have snakes they hang out with. Then, when they need to shoot something with their arrows, the snakes are used as bows…" Luffy went on and on, Usopp and Chopper getting more excited with each sentence.

"And the FOOD is AMAZING! When I first landed there, I didn't get to eat a lot because the girls were chasing me, but it was SO GOO-" A pan whizzed past Usopp and hit Luffy square in the face. Sanji stood fuming in front of the kitchen door.

"JUST BECAUSE GIRL'S CHASED YOU AROUND DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN GO GETTING SUCH A BIG HEAD, SHITTY CAPTAIN. AND WHAT'S MY COOKING, EH? CHOPPED FUCKING LIVER?" Sanji stomped toward the group, but was tackled by a more than irritated swordsman.

"PERVERTED COOK! WHAT'S SO DAMN IMPORTANT THAT YOU HAVE TO INTERRUPT MY NAP WITH YOUR MELLOW DRAMATIC BULLSHIT?"

The two of them continued to wrestle across the deck, desperately trying to out curse each other. Luffy rubbed his head and looked up in time to see Nami dive into the scuffle, her map forgotten when the peace and quiet had ceased. The fight was over when Sanji mistakenly got a hand full of boob and started to bleed profusely, both from his inevitable nosebleed and the unforgiving punch the red haired navigator bestowed upon him. Chopper ran over to give him first aid, tears flowing from his eyes. He screamed pitifully at Sanji, something about his liver not being good for cooking. Usopp and Luffy looked at each other, both of them a little confused as to what had just happened. They both fell over laughing at the same time.

"Oh man, I can't wait until they get to meet you guys. This is gonna be so awesome," Luffy cried, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes. Usopp held his stomach and attempted to calm himself.

"Hey, Luffy, did you like any of the girls…you know…in a _special_ way?" He nudged Luffy with his elbow and wiggled his eyebrows teasingly. "An entire island of girls. Even YOU should've found one you liked. What about the Empress lady, huh? She even winked at you as we were leaving." Luffy gave Usopp a blank stare and tilted his head to the side.

"Eh…special? I guess…Hancock helped me the most getting back to you guys, but…" Luffy mused, scratching his head in thought, "…I don't know if that counts. There were all kinds of girls. None of them had ever seen a guy before, so they all wanted to touch me…"

Sanji's eye twitched and it took both Chopper and Zoro to hold him down. Chopper yelled over desperately, "Luffy! PLEASE."

Luffy's eyes lit up and he pounded a fist into his palm.

"I know! There was one girl there, Margaret, who helped me out. I guess she was special since she's the one that had to convince everyone not to kill me. She and a couple other girls found me in the forest after I ate some poisonous mushrooms and brought me to the village. She was cool! She helped me get away from all the girls so I could eat and," he frowned mid-sentence, "…come to think of it…she had a weird obsession with my balls-"

Sanji's deafening roar of, "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING FOR TWO YEARS?" echoed off of the ship's walls as he pushed Zoro off of him. Chopper helplessly clung to the cook's shirt sleeve. He ran across the deck, two years of running from drag queen's finally coming in handy. "PREPARE YOURSELF, SHITTY CAPTAAAAAIN!"

Franky watched the general commotion from the upper deck, a cola sitting forgotten on the table. Robin looked up from her book and raised an eyebrow at him questioningly before asking, "What's going on down there?"

"Nothing. Nothing unusual, anyway." Franky shook his head and went back to fixing part of his leg. Brook walked up the stairs and pulled out a chair for himself at their table.

"You wouldn't believe the fight they're in down there. Sanji-san's become a BONE-fied animal! YOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO..."

* * *

"Luffyyy~" Hancock wiggled in delight. Luffy and his crew sat with her in the dining area of the Kuja pirate ship. The snake Empress had prepared all of Luffy's favorite foods for this occasion.

It became apparent after the Straw Hat crew's last run in with the law that a game plan would be needed to continue further. The Marine's, because of the onslaught that took place on Fishman Island, were more alert and taking extra precautions. Rumor had it they were even researching how to put mechanism's on their ships that simulated a Coup De Burst. In need of someplace out of reach, Luffy had asked Hancock if they might be able to visit. She had been delighted to oblige, of course.

The Thousand Sunny had finally made it to the calm belt where the Kuja pirate's were waiting to transport them the rest of the way. To keep things cordial, Hancock allowed the crew to rest on her ship while Sunny was dragged through the calm. Franky mourned the chance to use his cool paddle system, but Luffy assured him there would be a 'next time'.

"You have no idea how lonely I've been in the time you've been absent from my presence," Hancock confided, eyes glittering with dramatic tears as she stroked the oblivious captain's cheek. It was now double its usual size since he was chewing something.

The rest of the crew sat in awkward silence, gawking at the scene taking place before them. Except Sanji. He had turned to stone the second he had seen the Empress, miraculously without her having to use her Merrow-Merrow ability. Chopper was crying next to him in the guest room, trying to coax him out of his state, secretly glad he had avoided another hard core nosebleed.

"She's certainly the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life. I can't understand what she sees in that idiot." Robin giggled at Nami's whispered comment, nodding slightly in agreement. Zoro stood up and walked toward the door.

"Zoro? Where ya goin'? There's still more food!" Luffy didn't wait for a reply from him and started stealing from his plate. Zoro sighed in disgust.

"I'm just getting some fresh air. You're making me sick," he grumbled, closing the door upon his exit. Hancock glared at his back.

"What a rude man."

"Don't mind Zoro, Hancock. He's a cool guy."

Luffy ignored the look of adoration he received from her and dove into the next dish in front of him.

"That's so like you, Luffy, to look past the flaws of those closest to you and only speak well of them," she gushed, cheeks flush. She went on to herself, mumbling about how she needed to work on being a better person so they could get married. Usopp giggled to himself in amusement.

_What a dork. The most beautiful woman in the world has her heart set on marrying him, and all he can think of is food. Now is the great Usopp-sama's chance to woo her._

He made a move to get closer to them, but halted when a butter knife flew past his head and stuck into the wood behind him. Hancock glared suspiciously at the now sweating long nosed sniper.

"Nobody can be close to Luffy but _me_," her eyes seemed to scream. As if to make a point, she shoved another dish in front of the rubber man. She then lovingly dabbed a napkin to the corner of his mouth, never taking her eyes off Usopp. He stared for a minute, then fainted back into his original seat.

_Wonderful. She thinks I'm gay. For Luffy._

At that ungodly thought he rushed out of the room, fighting back the bile rising in his throat. Hancock smiled victoriously, perceiving his actions as that of a jealous rival. Her plan to get Luffy alone was going better than she had initially planned.

_Now if I could just get the women out…_

Hancock was busy plotting when Margaret quietly walked through the door, an apologetic look on her face. Hancock frowned.

"What is it, Margaret?"

Margaret bowed deeply, her now shoulder length blonde hair falling to cover her eyes.

"I'm terribly sorry to interrupt, Hebihime-sama, but there seems to be an issue with Luffy-san's ship. His ship-wright has requested he come to him immediately."

When Margaret had entered, Luffy had paused in his eating and grinned brightly, prepared to greet her with his usual enthusiasm. Hearing that Franky needed to see him though, the grin was replaced with a look of concern. Was something wrong with Sunny?

He put down his meat and absentmindedly wiped his hands on Hancock's dress. She simply brought the soiled piece of garment to her face and sighed contentedly as Luffy followed Margaret out the door. They both walked across the deck, Luffy greeting Brook in the corner surrounded by about half a dozen Kuja pirate's, their eyes gleaming as he told a story about being on tour. His signature laugh could be heard even as he and Margaret made their way to where The Sunny was tied up at the stern.

Margaret made a move like she was going to climb off the ship and onto the connecting rope so she could shimmy over. Luffy scratched his head and grinned, giggling through his alternative offer of, "I can give you a ride over if you want."

Margaret grinned back, then shook her head.

"The truth is," she started playfully, "I could jump this distance if I wanted to. It's just way more fun to slide there."

With that, she looped her snake bow over the rope and whizzed at surprising speeds toward the ship. A moment before she impacted with the side, she shifted her weight and lightly flipped, landing gracefully on the upper deck of The Sunny. Luffy watched the whole thing with excited eagerness.

"HEY HEY, I WANNA DO IT TOO."

Margaret giggled as he looped his own arm over the top of the rope and hung on with his other hand. He launched, and immediately regretted it. She watched him whiz towards the ship, screams of, "IT BURNS, IT BURNS", ringing through the air. He attempted to flip onto his ship as gracefully as his blonde friend. The rope burns, however, offed his brain's judgement of the distance and he ended up splatting quite nicely against the figure head and falling into the water.

Margaret sighed, removing the unnecessary parts of her outfit and diving in after the now, submerged, rubber man.

* * *

_How…did this happen._

Hancock sat in the dining room surrounded by food and unoccupied pillow seats. Completely alone.

The red haired one had gone to use the restroom, and the raven haired one had excused herself to read on the deck. So there the grand Shichibukai sat, a pitiful kitten that had been left in a cardboard box in the rain. Minutes passed; nobody came.

Surely nothing was wrong with Luffy's ship that it was taking this long to discuss it with the ship-wright. Why wasn't he coming back?

Hancock bit her thumb nail, something that had become a habit when thinking about her future husband.

_Am I really…that unattractive?_

Dark clouds were beginning to collect over her head when she heard the door open. She looked up eagerly, and then her face fell just as quickly when she looked up into the face of the swordsman. She quickly looked away and blushed, poking a grape on her plate in a pathetic attempt to look like she hadn't been expecting someone else. Zoro gave her a weird look and shrugged, plopping onto a pillow on the complete opposite side of the room. He started to doze off when he noticed her glowering at him pointedly. He frowned.

"Is it gonna be a problem if I sleep here?"

"Where's Luffy."

This "question" was asked in a way that wasn't even a question, Zoro first note. His twenty-one years of life experience told him it would be in his best interest to seek a nap elsewhere.

_Spoiled brat. I don't really know why she's so hung up on that moron, but she better get used to his ADHD if she really intends to stick it out…_

"Do I look like a baby-sitter to you?"

"You're Roronoa Zoro, first mate of my lover Monkey D. Luffy. He spoke graciously of you on our way to Impel Down," she sniffed.

Zoro raised an eyebrow.

"Mm."

He continued to stare at her for a few more awkward seconds before he settled back on the pillows and shut his eyes.

"Whatever. I'm gonna sleep now-"

"I asked you where Luffy was."

A small vein rose over his forehead.

"And I told you in the nicest way I know how that I don't know where he is."

"Then go find him."

"…_Excuse me?_"

Hancock lifted a small cluster of grapes to her lips and seductively plucked a piece of fruit with her tongue. She batted her eyelashes prettily.

"_Please_?"

All the glitter in the world would not have matched the shining magnitude of that one word. Hancock knew this. The swordsman would get up obediently like a love sick dog and leave her alone to wallow in sorrow until he finally brought back her love and-

"No."

Hancock's eye twitched before she muttered a hesitant, "…Pardon?"

"It's not my business what he does and doesn't do. If he wants to come back here, he will. If not, he won't. Now leave me alone."

She unconsciously crushed the grape cluster in her fist, her already trace amounts of patience running thin.

"I told you to do something."

"And I'm telling you I ain't doing anything until I get my post-lunch nap in."

"Post…lunch…nap?"

With each word, Hancock took a dangerous step towards the green haired man. The room was too large for her to reach him soon enough to her liking and she was in the mood to intimidate, so she took a short cut across the table. Zoro watched her, his arrogant stare making her more pissed with every second that passed. She stepped on plates and squashed food until she was finally before him. He studied her shamelessly, his eyes moving from her feet to her face in one sweeping motion. She smirked and flipped her hair majestically.

"Like what you see?"

"I was just admiring the nice gravy stain you have there."

Hancock had forgotten about Luffy's use of her dress as a napkin. Her heart skipped at the memory. She shakily caressed the stain.

"Luffy…Luffy's lips touched my dress…" she squealed loudly, uninhibited happiness taking control of her body like a love struck school girl. Zoro gagged and sat up. He lazily walked back towards the door.

"Jesus you're noisy. You and that stupid cook. You're both perverts. But at least he's not a secret perv like you."

Hancock was smacked from her blissful day dream of having thirty children with Luffy at that last statement. Quick as lightning, she flicked another butter knife. This time it got lodged in the door panel, barely missing Zoro's head. He slowly turned, the annoyed look on his face reflected in the dull blade.

"Lady, do you know who you're dealing with?"

"I should ask you the same question."

"I've noticed you don't ask a lot of 'questions'."

"I'm used to men giving me the information I need willingly," she crooned, winking at him. He grimaced.

"Would you stop it with that shit? It's disgusting. I need my nap. I'm leaving."

"OH NO YOU DON'T."

A silver serving tray whizzed past his head and clattered against the wall. He stared at it bug eyed, then turned to look at the china poised in her hands.

"Are you MAD?" he screamed. She grinned sadistically.

"I tried to get along with you because you're Luffy's friend, but it's impossible. And since you won't tell me where he is, it's obvious you just want him for yourself. I'll kill you here and rid myself of a rival."

She laughed, satisfied with her own plan. Zoro stood gaping at her like a fish.

"…Me…you think…me…Luffy…"

Zoro didn't get to finish his response. Plates soared through the air so fast he barely had time to dodge.

_This isn't even fair! I can't use my swords because I'll cut your goddamn ship in half!_

He dove behind the pile of pillows. Hancock followed and cornered him. The helpless swordsman was now sweating bullets.

"Listen, uh…Hancock was it?"

"That's Hebihime-sama to you, jerk off."

Hancock loomed over him like a wolf over a bunny. Zoro realized how sad this whole situation was, but all he wanted was to get away from this insane chick with his life.

"Yeah, whatever. I think you've got the wrong idea. I don't like dudes."

As the swordsman struggled to climb through the pillows, she stepped towards him menacingly. He finally ran out of pillows and gave into fate. He had never prayed before, but…

_God, help me…_

Hancock climbed over his now shaking body and took hold of his neck. He felt her inhumanly strong thumbs crushing his air way.

_Please, somebody-_

"I'm BAAAAaaaack~!"

Nami opened the door expecting to find everyone still sitting around eating. Her eyes drank in the scene before her, however, and she could honestly say she would never have expected this: there lay Zoro, sprawled on silk pillows with his robe undone and his chest bare with a flushed and flustered snake princess on top of him.

The Shichibukai looked a little panicked at Nami's intrusion, but the navigator couldn't really understand what she was trying to say, or whether it was even directed at her. She was too taken aback.

Nonetheless, this was..._interesting_.

She took a good look at Zoro, now pale in the face at the realization at what this looked like, and decided she smelled blackmail worth keeping for later.

_And where there's blackmail, there's money._

"Well, um…I'll tell everyone to leave you guys alone. Ok? Ciao!"

And with a grin, Nami was gone.

Hancock stopped her babbling at the realization of what that meant everyone would think they were doing. Her face blanched. Zoro groaned.

_There. Is. No. God._

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**


	2. Blindfolds and Bad Ideas

**A/N: **_I love torturing character's. _

_Thank you for reviewing! It is appreciated. :)_

**Disclaimer: **_I do not own One Piece or any of its affiliated characters._

* * *

**Suppressed**

**Chapter 2: Blindfolds and Bad Ideas**

* * *

"You, my friend, should be glad there's no current in the calm belt. I was able to find you fairly easily."

Margaret leaned on the rail of The Sunny, watching Luffy cough up the last of the sea water from his lungs. He shakily sat up from the puddle of water surrounding him and smiled weakly at her.

"Sorry 'bout that. It probably would've been easier for you to get back to the ship too if I didn't get so weak in the water. I could've used my rocket."

He felt exhausted just talking that small amount. It usually took a few minutes before he started feeling normal again after being in the ocean. He stood up with some effort and groaned, dizziness kicking in. He blinked and muttered, "Stood up too fast."

Margaret chuckled and handed his hat to him.

"You know, this same thing happened the first time I saw you," she pointed out teasingly. She smiled at the memory of him trying to build a raft to get back to his crew. "I'm glad everything worked out for you guys in the end."

Luffy grinned despite the current aching in his head. That smash against Sunny hadn't treated him well.

"Shishishi! Thanks, Margaret. I'm glad you decided to save me again this time."

She nodded and tucked a stray strand of wet hair behind her ear.

_He's still the same moron from before…_

"Ah! There's no wind here is there," he remembered, looking down at his wet clothes and shrugged. "Can't be helped then."

He wobbled slowly towards the stairs to the main deck, lazily pulling off his shirt as he went. When he noticed Margaret wasn't following, he turned around.

"Aren't you coming? I have to show you my ship!" he called, starting down the stairs. Margaret hesitated, then ran after him until she caught up.

* * *

Franky was in heaven. Normally girls weren't the thing that really occupied his mind, but this was different.

The three women he was in the company of at the moment were all specialty ship-wrights on Amazon Lily. He now knew they were riding on the only actual ship that went in and out of the mysterious island, but they were all on equal ground with him as far as knowledge of craft.

The skinny one with grey eyes was clearly the one in charge, but her subordinates were active in the conversation they kept, and they were all pleasantly bouncing ideas off of each other and having a grand old time. Franky lifted his sun glasses and took a long gulp from the fancy long stemmed glass of cola he held. The women all smiled when he sighed contentedly and shook his head.

"It's been a while since I've talked to other ship-wrights. I don't meet many women that find this stuff interesting, either."

The brunette chuckled. "Well, for most of us this is our first time interacting with men, so we're just excited to get to talk about all the new technology being developed. That mechanism you showed us, for instance. The Coup De Burst? It's absolutely fascinating!"

Her friend with the blonde ponytail nodded vigorously. "Do you think you could show us how it works once we get to the island? We have cola in stock, but we'd have to visit the market first." They both scooted closer to him, batting their eyelashes, "Please?"

Franky scratched his head and laughed loudly.

"Hahaha! Of course! I suppose you won't get another chance to see it after we leave. It is one of a kind."

The leader's eyes glistened. "You've got us all excited now. What do you say we take a trip to the bow so we can explain our use of the Yuda? We should be getting close to the island, so we should start readying things anyway."

"Sounds SUUUPAAA~!" Franky posed for the women and they all giggled and clapped. "Franky-san's so funny!"

The party got up and headed out the door, chattering eagerly as they went. Robin perked up when she heard them approaching from her chair just outside. She looked towards Sunny, then back at Franky.

"Er…Franky-san?"

"OOOOOOOI~! NICO ROOOOBIIIIIIIIN~! Fine weather, eh? No wind must be nice for reading!" Franky didn't wait for a reply and headed up the stairs with the three Kuja beauties. Robin blinked and went back to her book.

_Must be he finished talking with Senchou already..._

* * *

_Ok. So…maybe in hind sight this was a bad idea. But…I definitely wasn't expecting THIS to happen…_

"Hey, Margaret, where's Franky?"

"Er…uh…about that…"

"Why are you all stuttery and stuff?"

"Well…you…" Margaret was currently having a hard time responding to the naked man in front of her. "…You wanna…put on some pants?"

Luffy looked down at himself, apparently still unashamed to be nude in front of others. He looked back up and shrugged.

"Nami started laundry earlier and never dried my favorite ones, so I have to do it myself. Besides," he dropped his wet outfit in a basket in the corner of the laundry room and turned back to her with a confident grin and his hands on his hips, "it's not like you haven't seen 'it' before."

Margaret blushed furiously as he turned to put his washed pants in the dryer. He probably hadn't meant to tease her, but he also wasn't aware of the changes she'd gone through. Also…now…

_Uh oh…_

She felt that familiar feeling in the pit of her stomach. It had been bothering her since she had first seen him get on the ship, but now that he was here with her in the flesh…

_That thing…it's drooling again._

She struggled to not panic at the realization of what was happening. Maybe he wouldn't notice if she acted natural. He was right, after all. She had seen 'that thing' the first time he'd come to them. It wasn't really a big deal.

_Still…_

She glanced at his back, now turned to her as he struggled to pick a button to press on the dryer. She couldn't help staring a little bit. It wasn't everyday she got to see a man. And naked, at that. They were completely different from women! Who could blame her for being a little curious?

_Now I'm just making excuses._

Luffy finally decided on a button and made a victorious whooping noise when the machine started.

"Yosh! Now we can tour the ship! We should find Franky on our way around, so we better get started!"

The overly excited rubber man ran out of the laundry room and tumbled onto the grassy deck. Margaret watched him jump around like a kid, then yell at her as he went over to the swing. She nodded that she could see him as he attempted to do some stupid stunt on it before she finished climbing down the stairs to where he was. She paused on the last step and eyed the sack between his legs, memories of her past unsuccessful attempts to see its contents giving rise to an idea. She smiled as he waved to her, care free and innocent.

_I can see you very well from here…_

* * *

Hancock was furious. What's worse, it showed in her face.

Her regular crew members watched as she tore through the ship, apparently looking for something. It was hard to admire her perfectly sculpted legs when she was bouncing in and out of rooms, her frustration with not finding what she was looking for becoming increasingly obvious. Rindou quirked an eyebrow and looked over at Daisy, who was currently failing at suppressing her uncouth giggling.

Ran whispered in her ear, "What do you think is the matter with Hebihime-sama?"

Rindou shrugged. "I'm not sure. Perhaps it has something to do with Luffy-san. If it's anything we need to know about, she'll tell us once we reach land. The island should be close by now."

Hancock had almost given up looking when she spotted a blur of green as she ran across the deck.

_That bastard…_

There, lounging casually at the base of the mast as if he had not a care in the world, was Zoro. The snake princess felt her blood boil when he opened his mouth to yawn, her feet moving of their own accord toward the unsuspecting swordsman. He opened his good eye to look up, murderous intent almost visibly oozing out of her. He grimaced.

"What the hell do you want?"

Hancock had been asked by countless men if she would marry them, bear their children, even simply be their mistress. All of them had been pigs, ignorant to just how inferior they all were to her, constantly over stepping their boundaries and asking for death. The anger that followed these encounters was usually answered with her unmerciful use of the Merrow-Merrow ability. She never regretted using it. It helped her calm down, helped her keep wrinkles off her face. It generally saved her the trouble of throwing a complete temper tantrum.

Staring at her like she was the most disgusting thing on the planet though, was a man she was unable to kill. For love, she must endure. That was the only thing keeping her from squashing this moron's head like a bug. So instead of turning him to stone, she figured she'd play with his mind a little. The raven haired bombshell leaned far enough into his face that he could see his own reflection in her eyes. He also had a nice view of her breasts, but she pretended she didn't see him staring.

"I've come to explain the terms for which you now work for me."

"…What are you talking about."

Hancock pointed a finger at his forehead. "Shut up for a minute and let me talk. I just got back from negotiating with your clever little navigator. We've worked out a deal."

Zoro opened his mouth like he was going to speak but she lightly slapped him. She glared at his shocked face before continuing.

"I'm to pay her 500,000,000 beri to keep this a secret from Luffy. Even though you and I know it was nothing even remotely close to what she thinks we were doing, it is also true that I am extremely beautiful and am the epitome of every man's fantasy."

Zoro gave her an 'are you kidding me' look, but she decided to let it pass. "It would break Luffy's heart if he heard that I had been seen with another man, regardless of reason. He gets very jealous."

_This woman is a fucking lunatic._

Zoro pushed her hand out of his face and settled back against the mast. "I don't see how that has anything to do with me."

"She also told me to tell you how much you owe."

"Wait, what? Why do I owe HER anything?"

Hancock stood up straight again and smoothed her hair back. "Of course it's so Luffy doesn't find out and kill you. You of all people should know how beastly he gets when angry."

Zoro waved her off. "Yeah. Right. Ordeal of love." He thought of Sanji and rolled his eyes.

_Stupid. Nami just wants another excuse to suck the life out of me._

"Well, spill it. How much do I owe her?"

"300,000,000."

"WHAT? THAT'S TOO MUCH! I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING TO YOU!"

"She told me she'd accept an alternative."

"An…an alternative? What are you…"

Hancock smirked and studied her nails. "Your navigator thought it would be in your best interest to hear me out. It seems you already owe her some money, and she told me she adds interest for every day you haven't paid her back."

Zoro sank at the memory of all the debt he'd wrung up being played by Nami. "Yeah, you could say that."

"So I told her I would pay your share as well. So you don't have to pay extra." Zoro snapped to attention at this, an incredulous look on his face. Hancock laughed inwardly.

"But, in exchange, you work for me until you leave the island."

She watched his face turn from that of a suspicious hopeful, to just suspicious. He started to walk away. She shook her head as if she were hurt by his cold answer.

"My oh my, that pride of yours will be your downfall someday."

"I don't need your help. I can get money just fine."

"Sounds to me like you just don't like me."

Zoro turned around, his one eye half hooded. "Woman, you're insane. If you weren't so beautiful on the outside you'd be at a loss. I don't care to spend any more time with you."

He had turned around about half way when he felt a violent tug on his robe, and suddenly he found himself face to face with her again, their height difference meaning he was currently held in the air by her fist. The anger in her electrifying blue eyes was truly terrifying. Zoro felt a trickle of sweat start to run down his neck.

_S-scary…_

"Listen, you little punk. I'm making you quite the generous offer here. I pay all of the debt you owe that wretched woman, tax free, give you room and board, _LET YOU LIVE_, and as an added bonus, you'll have the privilege of training with one of the seven warlords. Get the picture?"

She was sick of his face, so she threw him back to the floor. He caught himself and wobbled a little to get back on balance. He glared up at her. "What makes you think I need to train with _you_?" Hancock had begun to walk away, but she turned back around to face him.

"A swordsman of your caliber doesn't stop training. I'm the only person on the island besides Luffy who will be a match for you, whether you choose to accept that or not." With that, the snake princess spun on her heels back towards her room. Zoro was left standing there, feeling sort of confused.

Brooke and company had watched the entire scene from far away, wondering what was being said.

"Um…did Zoro-san…just get dumped? That's something I never thought I'd live to see…though, I'm already dead…and I have no eyes to see…YOHOHOHOHOHOHO~"

* * *

"So…you're saying Franky never actually needed to talk to me?"

Luffy and Margaret sat in the boys' room after just finishing the tour of the ship. Luffy had been confused as to why they hadn't seen Franky since they'd boarded, so she'd finally had to tell him the truth. She smiled meekly from the bunk beneath his.

"Yeah. He's not even on the ship."

Luffy frowned in confusion and let his face fall over the side so he could see her. "So…why trick me?" he asked.

Being made of rubber, his neck naturally started to stretch further than he thought. From Margaret's perspective it looked funny so she giggled. His pout didn't help.

She shrugged. "Um, well, I suppose I just wanted to be able to see you for awhile. It's been so long and all…" She looked to him for acceptance and received it. He smiled widely.

"Shishishi! Well why didn't you say so? We could've been doing more fun stuff instead of just looking for Franky you dork!" He grabbed the side of the top bunk and flipped down so he was sitting next to her. His closeness surprised her. He still wasn't one to consider personal space.

"Hey! So, whaddya wanna do? You're the one who brought me here, right?" He looked at her with big innocent eyes and she almost caved.

_I can't tell him…he'll think it's weird. _

She gulped. His nudity had been forgotten on the tour of the ship, but now that 'it' was within reach, she knew she couldn't give up. Not yet.

"H-hey, Luffy! Wanna play a game while we wait for your clothes to dry?" she asked a bit nervously. His eyes lit up, just like she knew they would.

"GAME? WHAT KIND!"

"Uh, um, well, we used to play it on the island when we were kids. It's called 'Come and Go'. Have you heard of it?"

He tilted his head to the side and scratched under his hat. "I don't think so. How do you play?"

"Well, usually it's played with more people, but generally what happens is one person is designated to find everyone else once they've hidden. The one person is blind folded, so when the blind folded person yells 'coming' everyone around has to yell 'go', and eventually they're caught."

Luffy grinned enthusiastically. "Sounds interesting! I wanna be the guy that gets blind folded!"

_I was hoping you'd say that..._

She watched as he ran to his locker to the right of the beds and chucked stuff out looking for blindfold material. He pouted after a few minutes, apparently having no luck finding something.

"Hey…Margaret? You got anything?" he asked. She shook her head and he made his way back over to her. He perked up when he noticed her outfit. She was confused until he pointed at her top. "That would be good, wouldn't it?" She looked at him in horror.

"What? I can't take this off, you'll see my…" She started to blush uncontrollably. He blinked and put his hands on his hips.

"What's there to be embarrassed about? I'm already naked. Honestly, girls are too weird. Nami always freaks out when someone sees her boobs. What's the big deal anyway? I have them too, see?"

As if to prove a point, he desperately tried to squeeze his pecs together to make cleavage. Margaret couldn't help but laugh. He laughed with her.

"There's no reason to be embarrassed. I wanna play the game! Here, I won't even look if that helps…" He looked away and told her to put it over his eyes when she was ready. She nodded and removed the cloth, feeling the reality of what was happening as her breasts were set free.

_This is too weird…_

She cautiously made her way over to him and stood behind, making sure to tie it securely. She moved so she was in front of him and saw the eager smile on his face.

"Can you see anything through it?"

"Nope!"

"Ok. Then I need you to count to ten so I can hide."

"Yosh!"

"And you can't stop counting, no matter what happens, Luffy."

"Yosh!"

"I MEAN it. No matter what. Just keep counting."

"Yosh! Let's START ALREADY!"

Satisfied that he understood, she slowly knelt down so she was eye level with the sack between his legs. She looked up warily.

"Ok, Luffy. You can start."

"Ok! Ooone~…"

Margaret had just started to reach out tentatively towards his groin, when she felt his knee come up and hit her in the face. From underneath the blindfold, Luffy realized he'd just kicked his friend and began to panic. Without removing the blind fold first, he moved forward to try to find her and see if she was ok. Unfortunately, she had simply fallen backwards instead of out of the way, and he tripped on her legs and fell on top of her.

"LUFFY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

"I DON'T KNOW! YOU DIDN'T SAY I COULDN'T MOVE AS I COUNTED!"

"NORMAL PEOPLE WOULD JUST KIND OF ASSUME THAT WAS A STIPULATION!"

Margaret was in a panic. Her face was throbbing from the kick, and she could feel Luffy on top of her. Naked. With no clothes on. She could also see through her disheveled hair that his face had landed nicely between her breasts.

_WHAT THE HELL KIND OF SITUATION IS THIS._

"LUFFY! GET OFF OF ME YOU MORON!"

"I'M TRYING BUT IT'S HARD WHEN YOU HAVE A BLIND FOLD ON."

"USE YOUR BRAIN AND-"

She felt a warm hand on her left breast. So much for avoiding the inevitable.

The blonde gasped at the contact. Luffy immediately removed it, hoping she wouldn't punch him like he knew Nami probably would have.

"I'M SORRY! DID I HURT YOU? OH- Wait…"

Mid sentence he realized something else was amiss. He lifted his head up from her cleavage and moved his knee where it currently sat.

_It's…it's…wet…_

He carefully put his hands on the floor around them and lifted himself up to a kneeling position. He tentatively lifted part of the blind fold to look down at his knees. He was now straddling one of her legs, and his left knee was in a rather…awkward place.

"M-Margaret…"

"W-what?"

"I…I think you peed a little."

"…What?"

Margaret carefully pushed herself up so she was face to face with him on the floor, the blindfold bikini top still half covering his face. The one eye looking back at her showed horror.

"W-well, your…your thing is leaking. I…I think I might've broke it."

Margaret looked down at what Luffy was talking about and her whole face immediately turned cherry red. It wasn't really custom to wear undergarments on Amazon Lily, and nobody ever really gave it a second thought. Seeing how Luffy's knee was now resting in her 'special place' though, she could see how underwear would've been a good idea. It had started to get wet when she'd first seen him naked, but having him see just how turned on she was was enormously embarrassing. She looked down at the floor, since there was nudity pretty much everywhere else in her line of vision.

"It's…it's not what you think…"

Luffy removed the blindfold completely and stared at her confused. "It's not pee?"

"Well, no. It doesn't smell like pee in here does it?"

Luffy sniffed, as if to test that out. "Hm. You're right. Then what is it…AH! WAIT! I know…"

He pointed at his manhood and grinned understandingly. "Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, this thing is standing up. I don't know why it happens, but sometimes it leaks stuff like yours does."

Margaret blinked incredulously. "It…it does?"

Luffy laughed as if she were stupid.

"Shishishi! Yeah! So maybe your brain took a nap or something and decided that thing needed to leak!"

He scratched his head in thought. "It's weird though. Yours isn't the same as mine. It's not…_out._"

"O-out?"

"Yeah, you know…like, you don't have this…" He patted his junk to prove his point. It shifted against her leg and Margaret looked away, embarrassment not keen on leaving her. Luffy looked from his own to hers and frowned.

"Why don't girls have one too…"

"Well, it might be because men and women are separate. See?" Margaret offered, pointing to her chest and his, from her groin to his. "It would be unequal. Women are…_out_…on top, men are out on bottom. It would be unbalanced otherwise."

Luffy nodded slowly like he understood. "I…I guess that makes sense."

They continued to stare at each other, Luffy not moving from his position on her leg and Margaret's eyes still focused on the infamous family jewels she so longed to touch. Luffy broke the silence first.

"…I wanna touch it," he muttered with determination. Almost as if he had thought it through and had come to the decision that he would touch her crotch or die trying. Margaret's eyes bulged out.

"You WHAT?"

"You want to too, right?" he asked. He had read her mind, apparently. She hid her blush with her bangs.

"Well..t-that is…"

Luffy laughed loudly, saying, "It's fine, right? I've never seen a girl's 'thing' before, and I guess girls from Amazon Lily don't see a lot of guy parts. It's just touching. It's just…interesting…" He tilted his head way to the side so he could stare at her womanhood from a different angle. Margaret slapped him, irritated.

"You can't look at it like that. It's…it's embarrassing."

Luffy pouted. "I already told you didn't I? I don't care, so you shouldn't care. It's just skin."

"Y-yeah, but…the skin there…it's…sensitive." She looked away and Luffy thought about this. He blanched.

"Yeah…that's true. My balls are pretty…sensitive." He gulped at every memory he had of his precious kintama narrowly escaping sharp kicks from his tyrannical navigator. He shivered and placed his hands on Margaret's shoulder's.

"Margaret, look at me. T-this is important," he said seriously. She looked up at him, the low fearful voice he was speaking in grabbing her attention.

"A man's balls…they're very sensitive…they hurt really easily." He narrowed his eyes at her. "Promise me you won't hurt them. We're friends, right? I'll…I'll be gentle with yours, too."

She nodded in acknowledgement, not really knowing what to say. He turned his attention back to her legs and moved a tentative finger to the outer lips of her womanhood. She froze and Luffy looked at her for reassurance. "Did…did that hurt?" He sounded genuinely scared that he'd hurt her.

Margaret looked at him, part of her starting to realize that this was probably, subconsciously, what she'd wanted all along. She had fantasized about him (often in the buff) dozens of times over the past few months. _Why_, though?

He was, on the one hand, the only man she had ever seen before becoming a member of the Kuja pirate crew. And yet, she knew in the back of her mind that he was just a very special person to her. But, did special mean having to envision his face every time she touched herself? No, no, that could not be normal.

She felt him gently poking the flesh of her vulva, and was perhaps a bit inspired to test out her own imagination's creations. She stared at him, mumbling to himself about how it was soft, his eyes concentrating fully on what he was doing. It honestly wasn't even half of what she wanted. She realized that now; she wanted…_something_. And, apparently it was something only he could give her.

"Lu-Luffy…can you…touch it more?"

Luffy looked at her and blinked. "Well, if I touch it more, won't it hurt? And that stuff is still there…"

"N-no…it actually…feels really good when it's touched." She knew her face was red already, but it felt weird to ask someone something like that. Luffy perked up.

"Ah! So, if it feels good when I touch it, maybe I didn't break it, right? Um…here…" He shifted like he was going to move from straddling her leg. When he went to move his knee though, it caressed the tender skin and made her shiver. Luffy noticed her reaction and scratched his head as he settled between her legs.

"I don't get it. It didn't hurt when I did that?"

Margaret shook her head. "I think it depends on where you touch it and how hard. Your knee just kind of…stroked it." She laid back on the floor and breathed deeply, memorizing the feeling. "It felt really nice."

_I wanna do it…I wanna touch myself…_

Luffy stared at her, all naked and sweaty and breathing heavily. A small thought came to his mind, an instinctual de ja vu, if you will. Deep inside of him, something started to surface, albeit a bit slower than it should have been. He wasn't a blusher, but…he felt a little feverish all of a sudden. He shook his head and went back to the task at hand.

"So…you want me to touch you more?"

He watched her eyes, hooded and carnivorous, looking up at him from her compromising position on the floor. He gulped, maybe noticing for the first time just how intimate it was to be naked with other people; namely girls. His member finally took the opportunity to make up for his social retardation and twitch a little. He felt it and shifted his legs, still not fully catching on. The gears were a little less dusty now, though.

Margaret arched casually towards the ceiling and let her body relax against the floor boards. She smiled and breathed, "Yeah, Luffy. I want you to touch me a lot more."

* * *

"I can't trust you in this environment, Sanji. It's an entire island of girls. Do you want to almost die like you did on Fishman Island?"

Sanji shook his head groggily.

Chopper had been lecturing him about being a pervert since he woke up from his Hancock induced coma, and it was starting to get on his nerves. He wasn't even a pervert, really. He just took special care to appreciate the glory that was a woman's body. He was trying to remember what the snake princess looked like, but he knew Chopper wouldn't like it if he started bleeding again. The little reindeer was busy putting together some 'secret weapon', or so he called it.

"Usually Usopp's the one to make these kinds of things, but he's not around and I can't lock you in here forever. This will have to do until we get to the island at least." Chopper finished working on his masterpiece and stood back, admiring his work. Sanji looked over his shoulder and frowned.

"What the hell is that?"

Chopper huffed. "Be grateful, Sanji. This device will help train you to slowly get back to your normal woman doting self instead of the all out disgusting lech you've become."

Sanji picked it up and examined it, a little peeved at Chopper's description of his evolution into a sex maniac. Nobody seemed to understand what it was like being a guy like him and having no women to dote on for two whole years. _Well, fuck all of them._

"Chopper, this is a silver serving tray with a handle duct taped to the back."

"I know. Smart huh? I got the idea from that story about the guy who killed Medusa by looking at her in the reflection of his shield. It's generally the same concept, except you won't be beheading anyone, and knowing you it'll be hard to resist looking at women directly." Chopper moved to clean up his supplies. Sanji attached the device to his arm, thoroughly amused.

"So I can't look at women directly for a while? This actually might come in handy. If I just carry drinks around on it and then use it to look at women, I won't die of a nosebleed. Good thinking, Chopper."

Chopper did his happy dance. "Asshole! Praise doesn't make me happy at all!"

They both looked up when Usopp opened the door and walked in. He looked noticeably more miserable than usual. Chopper ran to him.

"U-USOPP! Are you ok? You look awful, what's the matter?"

Usopp didn't answer right away. His eyes were hidden from view behind his hat and he still had one hand on the door handle. Sanji and Chopper tensed when it looked like he was going to speak.

"Have…have you guys ever, you know…questioned your sexuality?"

Sanji and Chopper stared at him, neither of them knowing what to say. After a couple beats, Usopp started to laugh loudly. Perhaps too loud.

"HAHAHAHAHA got ya! I was just kidding! Psh, of COURSE neither of you have hahaha you should've seen your FACES! HAHAHAHAHA" He laughed his way out the door. He then went and stood at the rail, staring mysteriously off into the distance and questioning life, more specifically his own.


	3. Catalyst

**A/N:** _Reviews make me feel loved. ;-;_

**Disclaimer: **_I do not own One Piece or any of its affiliated characters._

* * *

**Suppressed**

**Chapter 3: Catalyst**

* * *

_Dear… Journal…_

Hancock laid across her velvet blanketed bed in the her private quarters, scribbling furiously in the green and gold book she always used to pour out her inner most feelings. Contained within were elegant poems she had written for Luffy, rants on how much she missed Luffy, her favorite things about Luffy, some crudely drawn pictures of the two of them in various cross-sections of life (their wedding, walking down the beach together, playing with a mini Luffy, etc.), a detailed time-line of everything that had happened between them from the time they met to the time he left, a lock of his hair she had taken when he wasn't looking, a string from his vest…

She looked down at the gravy stain on her dress and made a mental note to cut a piece of it to put in later. She shook her head and went back to scribbling, angry concentration taking over.

_That man…I cannot begin to understand how Luffy can stand having him in his crew, let alone be his first mate. In the half a day I've spent with him and the rest of these crass louts, he's shown himself to be lacking in reliability, any kind of grace, manners, or class usually basic and instinctive to the LOWEST of the low when interacting with someone like me. His arrogance is beyond that of any man I've ever had to speak with. And what's more, he's HIDEOUSLY ugly. I am thankful that he only has one eye to look at me with._

She flipped her hair off the shoulder of her writing arm and smiled, amused.

_I suppose having him on board would be beneficial. Having a beast like him within reach would keep even the most impertinent of pigs away with a single look._

The snake princess laughed heartily to herself and rolled around on the bed, kicking her heeled feet in the air like a child. After a few moments, she went back to her original task.

_Why Luffy is the Best Man On Earth: Reason #285 Part 1…_

* * *

Meanwhile, on deck, Zoro sneezed.

And not one fuck was given.

* * *

It was a lot different than when she was touching herself, THAT was for damn sure.

After spending a considerable amount of time staring at Margaret's spread womanhood, Luffy had finally decided to move onto hesitantly poking it with varied levels of force, as opposed to his earlier monotonous fashion._ Brilliant. _

She could barely react to this, let alone feel compelled to gratify him with the assurance that he was doing ok. She was trying her best to give a look that told him to get on with it. He wasn't paying attention to her facials, apparently. Her internal desire meter was slipping back to ground zero at an increasingly rapid rate, index fingers tapping the floor boards on either side of her naked body in frustration. Luffy noticed and visibly shrunk at her disapproval. He poked her vulva once more, as if it might make her stop glaring at him. She didn't and he sighed, frustrated.

"…I don't know what you want me to do."

"I told you to touch me more," she groaned, still surprised at her own boldness.

"I am, aren't I?" He went to poke her again and she swatted his hand away with her foot. He stuck out his tongue, prompting her to shake her head at his stupidity.

"It just doesn't feel the same."

"Doesn't feel the same?"

"Yeah, like, when I do it myself it feels more…I don't know. It's hard to describe." Luffy watched her sit up so she was face to face with him now. He set his head in his hands and leaned forward.

"You keep saying things like, 'when I do it myself'. I don't get it. I was just curious about what it felt like, but you keep saying it feels good and stuff. You're not making sense." He tapped at his hat with one hand for emphasis. She rolled her eyes and happened to look down. She blinked.

"Isn't your thing bigger than it was before?" Luffy acknowledged what she was talking about with a shrug.

"I don't know. I started getting this weird feeling and it started doing that. It'll probably go away soon." He frowned at 'it' disapprovingly. "It aches when it does this. I just wait for it to go away." They both continued to stare at it, as if that would make it deflate faster. Margaret looked back up at him.

"Do you do it too?"

"Hm?"

"Touch it."

Luffy laughed. "Well, yeah, I have to hold it when I pee." His condescending tone annoyed Margaret, but her frown stemmed from not receiving the information she desired.

"That's it? You never…you know…rub it?"

The Amazon's question received a blank stare and a confused blink. "Why would I do that?"

Margaret was becoming increasingly frustrated with Luffy's answers. Apparently he was more clueless than she'd first suspected. The more she thought about it, the more insecure she got.

_Maybe it doesn't feel good for men?_

"So you've never felt really good…down there? It just hurts?"

Luffy tugged on his own ear distractedly. "It only hurts if I fall on something or I get kicked. Feeling good though…I guess I never thought about it?"

He moved onto tugging the sides of his hat so they mimicked a bird's wings flapping. In the distance they both heard the distinct buzz of the dryer. He grinned and started to get up. Margaret stopped him by grabbing his wrist. Luffy quirked an eyebrow at her.

"I'm just gonna get my clothes. I'll be right back."

"No."

Her low tone sent a chill down his spine and he attempted to gently pull his hand free. It didn't budge. From beneath her bangs, those scary, predatory eyes looked up at him and he flinched.

"M-Margaret…"

"There's still things I don't know. Your clothes will have to wait."

* * *

Nami had finished checking out the ship a while ago, inventory already taken on some of its more valuable furnishings. Her brain had long been trained to automatically calculate the cost of anything of worth, quickly giving her an accurate idea of what would be a fair sum to charge for the "dirt" she had on Zoro and the snake princess. And she didn't want to have to break poor Luffy's fragile heart.

The Amazons weren't especially rich, but being supported through piracy was also taken into account. And Nami was also a pirate, right? 500 million beri was nothing for one of the seven war lords to fork over. Luffy's bounty would be past that in no time. Hell, it probably already was if the marines had gotten around to taking the Straw Hat crew's latest shenanigans into account.

_I wonder if Zoro will actually take the deal, though._

It was no skin off Nami's back, whatever he did. She preferred to keep Mr. Brawn-And-No-Brains in a constant state of anxiety over the monstrous debt he owed her, but she wasn't going to refuse money on the spot at the cost of a few million slow coming bits of interest. And it might even be worth it to watch him suffer at the hands of another woman. She chuckled to herself and settled further into her arm chair beside Robin.

_Listen to me. I sound like the wife that couldn't care less if her husband has an affair._

She laughed out loud this time, mostly from the thought of Zoro's bad luck with women, and a little from the weird look she was now getting from her dark haired companion. Robin had been trying to concentrate on her book, but Nami's internal conversations with herself always amused her. The blue eyed archaeologist struggled to keep herself from laughing at the ridiculous faces the navigator was making.

_I know, I know. I'll make Zoro a card to show him I really do care. I can write 'thanks for all the business' in it._

Nami finally couldn't contain herself any longer and let herself roll off the chair, laughter making her sides hurt. From the other side of the deck, Brook momentarily withdrew from the in-depth conversation he was having with some of the Kuja crew about how they didn't wear panties on Amazon Lily.

_Nami-san's jeans are very snug fitting. I wonder what kind of panties-_

The perverted skeleton was knocked out of his lacy daydreams by Sanji's serving tray, apparently advancing beyond its intended use and doubling as a weapon to slay rival perverts. The blonde stalked over to where the tray had landed and dusted it off, pausing in his replacement of it on his arm to light a new cigarette.

"Keep your lecherous gaze off of Nami-san's beautiful posterior, afro skeleton."

Brook's group watched him walk towards the two female members of his crew, blocking out their figures with his make shift shield. Brook gazed upside down at Sanji's retreating back from his place on the floor boards.

"But, Sanji-san, unfortunately I have no eyes to gaze-"

The skeleton received a lightning fast kick and was sent flying up to the crows nest. He lofted softly over the side, initial velocity giving out as he reached it, and made polite conversation with the Kuja girl already posted there. Sanji glowered at the punishment's failure and went back to walking to Nami and Robin.

He could see their beautiful silhouettes in the distorted reflection and struggled to keep his composure. He was most definitely not ready to gaze upon their perfection directly. He was only grateful Nami-san and Robin-chan hadn't witnessed his disgraceful performance when interacting with Keimi-chan's friends. Though he was still a little fuzzy on the details of what happened…

He shook his head vigorously.

_Focus, dammit. The sooner we tackle interactions through this shitty device, the sooner we can go back to normal. _

Sanji gathered himself and skipped the rest of the way to them, his voice dripping with adoration and every ounce of the love he felt for women and their breasts…er…feminine qualities.

"NAAAAAAMI-SWAAAAN~! ROOOOBIN-CHWAAAAAAAAN~! WHAT DO YOU MADAMOISELLES WANT ME, YOUR ETERNAL SLAVE OF LOVE, TO MAKE FOR A SNACK THIS FINE AFTERNOON?"

* * *

_How did it even turn out like this…_

Margaret had become scary. Luffy was already backed into a corner of the room, the lockers to his immediate right and one of the bunk beds blocking his escape to the left. He tried to think of a way out of Margaret's obsessed clutches, but it wasn't like this was a dire situation…not yet.

Luffy, being pretty low on the sharp crayon scale, was prone to thinking in basic terms. Which usually meant the thing that made the most sense in these kinds of situations was 'run like hell'. He turned slightly from his escape plan to look at Margaret. She was just…sitting there. She had crawled after him when he'd made the move to get away from her, but now that he was completely blocked off she had also stopped. Her distance was respectable, far enough to feign innocence, and close enough that he could smell danger. And she still had those eyes. Those dangerous eyes stared right back at him and he swallowed the bit of saliva that was collecting in his throat.

"I never got to touch it," She growled out. "You already touched mine. It's my turn."

"Well, that's true, but I thought this was just until my clothes were done."

"No. I'm going to touch it now." Luffy's eyes widened as she closed in on him and his unsuspecting penis.

_What is this fierce determination?_

He didn't say anything, but started to feel some insecurity in what they were doing as she stretched out her hand. In all honesty, he was a little amused by her fascination with stuff like this. He had also been curious, but, it was nothing compared to her. The look on her face, the obvious anticipation she was feeling…

Luffy looked at the position he was in and frowned a little. Completely vulnerable.

_So this…is how she felt…and yet she trusted me enough to go through with it._

She stopped her advance and frowned when she noticed how hard he appeared to be thinking. "What?"

"Well…" Luffy looked up at the ceiling, as if he would find what he was trying to say etched in the wood. He let out a sigh, grinned suddenly and pointed down at his manhood. "You're kinda scary right now, Margaret, but…I trust you!"

Margaret stared at him, her eyes softening a bit. He had already given her permission, but, maybe he was still a little unsure of how he felt about this. Luffy always seemed willing to try anything. Had she gone too far after all? "Luffy…"

The pirate captain laughed awkwardly and lifted his hat a little to scratch at his head.

"To be honest, I wasn't thinking about your feelings earlier. I just decided, mostly on my own, to do this outta the blue, right?" He swept a piece of hair out of his face and let his long legs spread over the floor. "As a man, I should consider your feelings. I shouldn't just touch you wherever." He placed his hands on his knees and bowed slightly. "Gomen. Please touch me."

Margaret sweat dropped.

_This…this idiot. I doubt he actually knows the meaning of what he's saying…'as a man'. _

She nodded and scooted closer, her blonde hair swaying over her shoulders.

_Well, here goes..._

The first poke went nearly undetected. They looked at each other.

"How…how did that feel?"

"Hm. It just felt like a poke, I guess."

Margaret bit her lip. For some reason, this reaction was frustrating. Had she not _just_ experienced this same mundane conversation with him when it had been her turn? This whole escapade was turning out to be one big disappointment, definitely not the way she'd thought it would be. What were they doing _wrong_? She eyed his family jewels and glowered pointedly. Did men really feel _nothing_ down there? Why did she _care_? Was it really necessary to do these things? Maybe not, but it was important to her, dammit.

_I…I want Luffy to feel good..._

She wanted to feel good, but she also wanted Luffy to feel good things. And…while she thought about it…why did she feel such a strong obligation to make him feel like that? Was that weird? To want someone to feel good…down there? So many things to think about...

_I have to at least try or I'm going to go insane._

Without any particular warning, Margaret started stroking his member. She started slow, only using her thumb, moving in an up and down pattern across the length. The skin under her thumb was warm and velvety feeling. Like baby's skin. Luffy was initially confused by her sudden actions, but remained silent. It took a minute, but he slowly started to feel…

Margaret tentatively looked up at Luffy's face. There was a slight flush creeping across his cheeks. He had his eyes closed and his breathing was still fairly calm. Her thumb moved in its pre-determined pattern, getting a little more lofty as 'it' grew in her hand. She smiled slightly.

_I think he likes it…_

_"_M-Margaret…" he breathed. He opened his eyes and stared at her hand. Those weird feelings from before came back, trying to remind him of something he was supposed to already know about. All she was doing was rubbing it, which was what she had been talking about before. And yet, it felt…

_It feels really nice._

With every movement her hand made, he grew increasingly harder. There was a distinct aching feeling now, like it was irritated. He groaned softly, testament to his discomfort. Margaret watched its transformation with fascinated eyes. Men really were mysterious beings.

_Luffy should feel these things too._

"Margaret…I think you'd better stop."

His voice came out low and his eyes were a little hazy. He moved a hand to his face and pushed dark hair from his forehead, revealing furrowed, confused eyebrows. "I feel weird. Like…I feel like I have to pee."

He was serious, but Margaret almost burst out laughing. She couldn't help herself and threw her arms around him in a congratulatory hug. Her belly came to rest against his hardened dick and it was all he could do to keep some weird sound from escaping his mouth. "M-Margaret…what are you…"

"You're so funny," she giggled matter-of-factly. "That's the first step! You probably never thought about touching yourself, but this proves there's still hope for you! It didn't make sense that only I could feel things. I always feel like I have to pee too, so this is normal!"

She scooted back and placed her hands on his shoulders, his look similar to that of a deer in headlights.

"I'm going to make you feel better than you ever have in your entire life, Monkey D. Luffy." She gave him a thumbs up and scooted back to her original spot, preparing for another round. He blinked, still thoroughly confused.

_I don't get it._

* * *

Robin sipped her fruity drink through the provided loopy straw. The fact that she still managed to look mature consuming something so ridiculous was just more proof of her unparalleled, mysterious beauty.

Franky sighed in adoration as he leaned against the railing, only half listening to the Kuja ship-wrights go through the lists of procedures it took to care for the Yuda. It wasn't that he was any less interested than he was before, he just liked to stare at Nico Robin. His plan to make her jealous by hanging out with tons of hot chicks wasn't really working. He sighed again, not at all content with how things were playing out.

_She probably just doesn't like me much. I've tried everything a girl would think was attractive. Yelling, posing, building stuff…_

"NAAAAAAAAMI-SWAAAAAAAAAN~! ROBIIIIIIIIIIIN-CHWAAAAAAAAAN~!"

Sanji's distinct voice cut through the air, making everyone nearby look at him with assorted looks of annoyance, amusement and pity. He had figured out early on that the best way to use his new contraption was to stare at the floor, thereby avoiding accidental run-ins with cleavage.

He held the tray in front of him, carrying Nami and Robin's cake on top of it. In his classic Sanji fashion, he had already made a cake in bulk so that every Kuja lady could taste his cooking. It had taken some persuasion, but the regular cook had eventually been charmed into letting him use their kitchen. She had even offered to help. To portray his undying loyalty to the women he regularly journeyed with though, he delivered the delicacy himself. He pranced down the stairs to them, a little less gracefully than usual, and set the plates down.

"A scrumptious apricot delicacy for you, my goddesses."

Nami smiled appreciatively, but it was lost on Sanji who was now leaning away, the floor boards being the only thing he allowed himself to see.

"Thank you, Sanji-kun."

Robin nodded and took a bite. "Delicious as always, Cook-san."

Sanji hugged the empty tray to his chest dramatically.

"HAAAAAAAPPINEEEEEEEEESS~!" He twirled back towards the upper deck.

"Oh! Sanji-kun! I have a favor to ask," Nami called out. Sanji was immediately at her side again, staring into the trays reflection and smoothing out his own mussed up hair. "Hai, Nami-san. You have but to ask and I shall travel into the depths of hell itself to carry out your request."

Nami waved a passive hand. "Yes, yes that's nice, but I really just want you to find Luffy for me. I have some things I need to ask him and we're supposed to be at the isla-"

"LAND HOOOOO~," came Brook's call from the crows nest. The Kuja girl up there with him high-fived him animatedly and started barking orders to the rest of the crew. Nami jutted her thumb up at the look out and smiled, pleased with her timing. "What Brook said."

Robin turned toward the direction the look out was pointing and her eyes glistened. Though they were still fairly far off, the outline of an island was definitely visible. New culture to explore…she could barely contain herself. She showed it by sticking her nose back in her hard cover.

Sanji bowed away from his red headed queen. "As you wish, Nami-san. I will find our shitty captain and bring him here swiftly."

He caught sight of her smile in the tray and gripped his heart in joy as he frolicked through an imaginary flower field back to the kitchen. Nami shook her head and went back to sun bathing.

_I haven't seen that idiot for a couple hours now…that usually means he's doing something he probably shouldn't be._

* * *

_What…the hell is this..._

From a certain stand point, 'torturous' would've probably been the best word to describe Luffy's experiences. Margaret ghosted her fingers along his aching shaft, experimenting in her own rite; making things that much harder for the guy on the receiving end. An internal battle with his brain and numerous other organs raged, everything hacking at his nerves for dominance. For a while, the seemingly best thing to do was to remain frozen as she touched him.

But then that became difficult.

"Maaargareeeet~ it feels _weeeeeird~_"

"Margaret I have to _peee~_"

"Margaret I-"

His protests were met with a glare, communicating that he would shut up and take whatever she gave him.

It felt good, but it didn't really register that he should be _enjoying_ himself until she touched _that_ spot. He fidgeted a little after the moment had passed, hoping he might feel that same pleasure again. And then it happened _again_…and _again_…and…oh, _god_…_again_…

"H-hey…" he warbled, taken aback by the voice that came out of his throat.

Margaret looked up, expecting more bitching. "I'm not stopping. So forget it."

"That's not it."

She quirked an eyebrow. "Then what?"

"Can you…rub it harder?"

He could feel himself shaking, and for some reason he felt like his brain was shutting off. All that mattered was how he felt where she touched. Every ounce of conscious retreated to his dick, enhancing every graze, every single nerve that came in contact with her foreign fingers. She smiled softly and traced a circle on his inner thigh.

"Yeah."

* * *

Chopper sat on the railing next to Usopp, his perturbed eyes staring at the island straight ahead of them. Usopp let out a heavy sigh and rested his chin on the railing. They had just finished a long, drawn out talk about Usopp's new self discovery. Hancock's earlier comment had him questioning his own sexual preferences, and he had finally been able to confess the underlying reasons for his strange behavior. That he could, in fact, be sexually attracted to Luffy. And other men, given the thought.

"Usopp…is all that stuff you just said really true?"

The sniper nodded. "Yeah. I think it's been a long time comin'. These feelings have always been buried deep inside me; been too afraid to admit what might be true."

Chopper blinked and stared at his hooves. "Well, I really don't know what to say. I've studied all kinds of things like human psychology, but I'm not really a psychologist of any sorts. What do you want to do about this?"

"Well, I guess it's not a big deal if you look at it from a general perspective. I still like girls, I just…like guys too. I don't want to be, but…" Chopper heard Usopp's voice break a little. "I'm ashamed. I don't want any of them to find out. Luffy or anyone. They'll think I'm weird." He looked at Chopper out of the corner of his eye. "Do…do you think I'm weird?"

Tears came to Chopper's eyes. "Usopp, you'll always be my hero and my best friend," he whimpered. Usopp let the tears slide down his face.

"CHOPPEEEEEER~!"

"USOOOOOOOOPP~!"

They embraced dramatically, bawling into each others arms. Sanji stood off to the side and scoffed.

"Tch. What are you shit heads being all disgusting for. Get ready. We're getting set to land." Usopp and Chopper watched him walk away, still wrapped in their embrace of friendship. They stuck their tongues out at his back.

_Dammit. Where is that shitty rubber man…_

* * *

He liked the way her hands felt. Undeniably feminine, but also calloused from long hours of archery practice. And they were strong. Long and pretty, but strong. They didn't let up with the massaging once he made it clear that he would let her do what she wanted. Starting at the base of his cock and ending at the tip, she had managed to squeeze out some pre-cum. She tilted her head curiously, examining the substance.

"You leak too, Luffy."

"Mm. I suppose so…"

He didn't want to talk. His voice wasn't even recognizable anymore. Strange sounds threatened to come out if he opened his mouth, so he'd resorted to gripping his hat like his life depended on it. With the added element of something slippery accompanying her strokes now, he felt that much closer to insanity. It felt _incredible_.

Margaret noticed his strained face and she sighed understandingly.

"Hey, Luffy."

His eyelids fluttered open. "W-what…"

"It feels good, right?"

Good. That didn't even begin to describe it. Was she aware of just how bothered this was making him? Her touches just kept building up, making it harder for him to endure. He watched her hands, smooth and creamy travel slowly, slowly over his shaft. Pumping, pumping, until…

He pushed the hat over his face as she rubbed the tip and hissed through his teeth, trying to muffle the sound. Margaret wasn't fooled.

"You can make noise, you know. Nobody would be able to hear."

He blinked under the hat. It wasn't really a matter of anyone being able to hear, this was just a very, _very_ new experience. Monkey D. Luffy was not one to bypass new experiences. So keeping that in mind, he curled into her palm and reminded himself that they were the only two in the room.

He grunted when she hit a particularly sensitive nerve, tongue lazing over his bottom teeth when he decided to let out a long deserved moan at her request and his body's insistence. One of her hands came to rest on his chest and she leaned into his ear, threatening to make him go right over the edge.

"I want more of them. Your noises," she crooned sexily, though she would never know that. Long lashes tickled his cheek and her chilling voice stopped his heart. "Tell me what feels good."

Poor guy never even had a chance.

"Oh…Oh, God, _that's it_. _Yes_," he moaned emphatically into the hat, brain shutting off and a satisfying arc of semen spraying from his dick. The first orgasm hit hard, leaving him blind and knocking the air out of his lungs. Three equally strong volley's followed, and then a pause before he arched into the second, even stronger climax.

Margaret hadn't been ready for it and was still leaned into him when she felt warm liquid shoot onto her torso. Scared that she had hurt him and a little confused as to what might be an appropriate course of action, she tried to climb off. He was too busy screaming in ecstasy to care about what it looked like to her. She ended up sliding down his chest, his release spraying onto her breasts. She blinked in surprise, watching the last of the creamy substance dribble out.

Her head lifted slowly, examining the sad state Luffy was in. He had completely slid down the wall and was sprawled on the floor, chest heaving exhaustedly. Dark hair clung to his sweaty face. His sunken, hazy eyes stared at nothing in particular. She took a moment to study the stuff that was all over her. The finger she touched it with came away sticky. She smiled a little.

"Well, it's not pee."

Luffy looked at her tiredly. "Was…was that it? Was that how it was supposed to happen?"

Margaret shrugged and rubbed the 'stuff' between her fingers. "This kinda reminds me of the stuff I have. It's sticky."

Luffy blinked at her semen covered body and frowned.

"S-sorry about that…I…I couldn't…I couldn't hold it in anymore," he finished sheepishly, still kind of confused with what had just happened. Margaret laughed.

"You don't need to be sorry. I wasn't really sure what would happen. If your experience was the same as mine, you wouldn't have been able to keep it in." She stared at herself and frowned slightly. "There sure is a lot though. That's probably what you get for not doing it yourself."

Luffy sighed contentedly and pushed himself up to a sitting position. "What you were doing…that…it felt so good. I felt like…" He sighed again, letting his eyes fall on Margaret's kneeling, cum covered figure. She patiently waited for him to finish his thought.

"…You felt like…what?"

All of a sudden, how he had felt didn't really matter. He watched her wipe a bit of substance off her breast. It travelled up to her face, and lost in her own curiosity, she let her tongue slip out to lick some. She grimaced and turned to look into his thoroughly fascinated eyes.

"It's bitter."

He swallowed. That feeling again. That distant, but all too familiar instinct to do _something_. It was killing him. He just couldn't grasp it completely. The one thing he could figure out though…

_I wanna do it again. I really, really want to._


	4. Throw In A Shower Scene

**Disclaimer:** _I do not own One Piece or any of its affiliated characters. _

_Please enjoy~_

* * *

**Suppressed**

**Chapter 4: Throw In A Shower Scene**

* * *

Robin sipped the last of her drink and started to gather up dirty dishes, a trail of hands blooming across the deck and whisking the utensils past busy Kuja pirates into the kitchen. Sanji was preoccupied, so it couldn't really be helped. The archaeologist felt like she should help out more anyway. They were guests on this ship, after all.

Sitting on the edge of her chair and placing her book mark where she had left off, the raven haired beauty painted the picture of a respectable intellectual. Nobody would guess Nico Robin was currently surveying several different scenes around the ship. Well, admittedly both ships. And, at the moment, she was more fascinated with one situation in particular.

She smiled slyly to herself and walked past Nami to the railing, the navigator still lazing in her chair in a rather un-classy fashion. Dropping the book in her carry-on, Robin placed her sunglasses back on her nose with a casual hand and smoothed back her hair. No wind meant minimum hair maintenance, which was always a good thing. Closing her eyes and using her ability, her eye perused through darkness until she could see the more interesting development she'd stumbled upon that day. Her ear came up next to it, audio making the experience that much more enjoyable.

_Forgive me for invading your privacy, Senchou, but I couldn't resist._

* * *

Margaret grabbed her top from the floor and headed out the door of the guys room.

"I'm taking a shower. We're probably close to the island by now so I'll go fast. You should too when I'm done," she called to Luffy.

He lifted himself up to a standing position and yawned casually, walking after her. Seeing her swift escape, he got an idea. He grinned to himself and gave chase, reaching the door just as he saw her start to climb the ladder up to the bath. He slowly started to creep up until-

* * *

"Robiiiiiiin~" Nami drawled sleepily.

Robin opened her eyes and quickly turned, knowing she hadn't been caught, but still being surprised at the sudden interruption. The red head was stretching in her chair, readying herself for landing one slim limb at a time. She smiled at Robin and adjusted her bathing suit top.

"How far off do you think we are?"

Robin sighed and put her sunglasses back on her head. So much for her in-cruise entertainment. She saved her knowledge of the budding circumstances between her captain and the girl for later. She couldn't help feeling though, that unlike a book, she'd probably be missing out on the best part of this chapter…

* * *

Margaret stared at the grinning face peeking at her from behind the door. With every passing second she grew less amused.

"Luffy, what are you doing in here."

"Can't I just shower with you?"

She didn't hesitate in her answer for even a second. "No."

His face fell. "Please? Wouldn't that be faster?"

"Yes, it would be." She closed the door. Luffy stood outside, confused by her answer.

"Wait, so…why can't I shower with you then," he shouted so she could hear. She cracked the door again.

"Because I don't want you to."

Luffy pouted. "Stingy."

Margaret shrugged coldly and closed the door with more force. Luffy tossed his hat on the sink and crossed his arms, trying to think of a way to get in.

"This is my ship, you know…the bath is also-" Margaret appeared from behind the door and spit water in his face. He spluttered a pitiful, "_Maaaaaargareeeeeet~_" and watched her face disappear again. He resigned himself to just being honest.

"I want you to do it again. That thing, you know? That thing you did…"

She slowly peeked at him, her face still agitated. "Luffy, I'm currently trying to clean myself of the mess you made the last time I did…that thing." She retreated behind the door again. Luffy shoved his face in, startling her enough to let the door fall open. He stumbled and grabbed onto her, making them both fall to the ground, then hovered over her with a pout.

"You were the one that did it to me. And now look what's happened," he gestured at his semi-erect cock and looked at her accusingly. "It keeps bugging me. You need to do it again."

Margaret looked into his pleading eyes and sighed. She shook her head and tried to shove him away, having some trouble since he was now clinging to her waist for dear life.

"Pleeeeeease~ Margareeeeet~! It won't even make a mess since we're in heeeeere~"

"Get off of me you moron!"

"Noooooooo~"

He was clearly having more fun with this than she was. His giggling was moronic, arms wrapping tighter around her. She had succeeded in getting to her feet, but the floor was slippery. When he still refused to let go, she shoved him hard and he rebounded like a rubber band. They both went tumbling into the bath tub, water splashing onto the window above it. Her head was now throbbing, but more importantly she was still submerged. He lifted her up so they were face to face and he laughed while she caught her breath. Now soaked, she glared at him with contempt. As much as she tried though, she couldn't help forgiving him. He pushed hair off her face and leaned in so his was only inches from hers and grinned.

"Shishishi. I'm in."

Margaret sighed in exhausted defeat and grabbed the shampoo, dumping it on his head. He whined as she scrubbed his hair clean.

"M-Margaret! This is GIRL'S shampoo!"

"Like I care," she giggled uncontrollably. He blindly reached for her, trying to prevent soap from getting in his eyes. She sought to escape, climbing out and backing into the wall beneath the shower head. He followed and pinned her, water flushing the shampoo from his hair. Both hands came down around her body, his grin triumphant.

"Now will you do it?"

For some reason she couldn't help but feel sorry for him. This wasn't really something she would've ever thought might pull at her heart strings. Water beaded and dripped off his body in constant streams, making him look like an abandoned dog in the rain. Pitiful, love starved eyes begged her to be kind. Who was she to deny him?

* * *

"Daisy, do you happen to know where Margaret is? We were having lunch awhile ago and she never came back from speaking to you."

Daisy snorted and shrugged, making Ran feel even more confused.

"Well, do you at least remember around the time when she left you?"

"Nope. Actually, I don't even remember her finding me. Heehehehegigglesnort~"

Ran shook her head and sighed. "Well, maybe she's looking for something below deck. I just didn't see her when Iris sighted the island, so I figured she was already busy." She poked Daisy's arm and continued critically, "You really need to get a new laugh, though. We have men on the ship. At least act more like a lady."

Daisy opened her mouth like she was going to giggle again, then covered it with her hands. Ran nodded approvingly. Ren ran up to them, grinning widely.

"I can't wait until we get back. I want to touch Luffy-sama's friends." At this, their gazes shifted to Brook, who was playing a song on his guitar for his groupies. Ran frowned.

"Well, that guy doesn't actually have any skin. I'm not sure I want to touch him," she admitted. Daisy couldn't hold back and staggered bursts of giggling escaped.

"I suppose if I had my choice, I'd want to touch _him," _Ren said dreamily. The other two looked over at who she was pointing at and they all nodded in agreement.

"The swordsman is indeed a mysterious fellow," Ran murmured, occupied with studying Zoro's sleeping form.

His face was handsome, even more so because of the scar running down his left eye. Sun kissed muscle peeked out from his robe, almost giving him an ancient feel. Like a sculpture of some great war god. His snoring ruined the image a little, but they all turned pink with admiration anyway. It was startled away when a red heeled shoe flew from the sky and smashed into his face.

Hancock stood outside her room looking down at him. "SLAVE! WHY HASN'T LUFFY COME TO MY QUARTERS YET?"

Zoro gingerly removed the shoe, which had indented itself into his face with the force it had been thrown. In a fit of rage, he threw the shoe on the ground and glared like a mad man up at her.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? AND WHY ARE YOU STILL TRYING TO GET ME TO DO STUFF FOR YOU?"

"I TOLD YOU A LONG TIME AGO TO GO GET HIM."

"SHUT UP! I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING FOR Y-" The other shoe flew at him and hit him in the jaw. She grinned evilly and laughed.

"NEVER LET YOUR GUARD DOWN, STUPID SWORDSMAN. YOU'RE NOT EVEN ON MY LEVEL," she spat.

Zoro's face, hidden mostly in infuriated shadow, let his eye glint warningly at her challenge. He threw the shoe back, and she jumped up to catch it easily. When she turned back to continue her harassment, he was gone. She felt the sword at her neck and his grip on her arms before she could even respond. Frozen in shock and completely amazed at his speed, she now felt that his head reached to about her shoulders. This didn't seem to hinder his hold on her.

In a voice low and muffled by her cloak, intending for her to be the only one that heard him, he growled, "I don't take orders from anyone but Luffy." The words floated to her ears like ghosts, him finishing with a warning: "Do not underestimate me." His grip on her loosened and she heard him sheath the sword. "You'll die."

Her heart pounded wildly as she watched him walk away, the same thrill she felt the first time Luffy said something so arrogant.

She folded her arms and smirked, finally seeing a bit of what she should've expected from Luffy's first mate.

"Swordsman," she called. He stopped, but didn't turn around. She started walking back into her room. Then, as if she were holding back some further praise, she said passively, "Carry on."

Zoro whirled around, ready to tell her off, but she was already inside. He glared at the door.

"Tch. Stupid woman. _Carry on_," he seethed in a mocking voice. "What the hell..."

Ran, Daisy and Ren stared at him, then back to where Hancock had disappeared, faces full of adoration and complete awe. Hebihime-sama's cool persona even in defeat or Zoro-san's undeniable strength; they were all now a bit torn over who to admire more. Had Hancock been visible the choice would've been clear, but, men were getting more and more interesting by the hour. Ran was the first to snap out of it.

"Um…he did just kind of almost have a good opening to kill her. We didn't even do anything." Daisy nodded and let her laugh have its way with her.

"Yeah…but you have to admit that was pretty cool."

* * *

Luffy dug his fingernails into her back, clinging to her. They were both silent as she pulled at him gently, the water breaking over both their heads. He moved forward so they were more or less toe to toe, his tip every once in awhile brushing against her belly. He rested his chin in the crook of her neck, breath heated over her skin.

"Where does it feel good, Luffy." She stroked his back with her free hand, making him shiver. He inhaled and arched into the touch.

"Mm…the tip. I like the tip," he murmured.

Bringing her thumb up, she stroked the tip in little circles. He moaned appreciatively, knees buckling slightly. She caught him when he swayed.

"Margaret…it feels…mmmmm…"

She could imagine how he was feeling, but hearing these things made her heart swell. She gripped him tighter and he grunted in response, pleased with the change of pressure. He shifted his body, trying to find a rhythm that matched hers. Before long he was thrusting into her hand, getting a feel for what felt good. His breathing became irregular, the moans climbing from a whimper to a smooth chant. He nuzzled her neck.

"M-Margaret," he choked, "It feels…I feel…uuuunnnn…"

His shower companion, while her attention had been solely on him, grew increasingly distracted by her own needs. She took her free hand and rubbed herself, blushing while she focused on the noises Luffy made, the way he was holding her, what he felt like against her…

He frowned when he no longer felt her hand on his back, lifting his head off her shoulder to investigate. She was moaning softly in his ear, but it didn't really look like she was doing anything special. He replaced his head on her shoulder and glared at the wall like a spoiled child.

Was that what she'd meant when she'd told him to rub it? It didn't look so hard.

Trying to be casual, he moved his hand to occupy her crotch. She was ready to scold him, thinking he just wanted more attention than he was already being given. His fingers delved in and started massaging her clit, so she opted for melting instead.

"L-Luffy," she moaned loudly. He grinned with confidence. This was _far_ better than their earlier experimentation.

They continued their mutual rubbing, moving into each others hands. She slowly rolled her tongue along his neck, if not for any other reason than to tell him she liked what he was doing. He giggled.

"It tickles!"

She tried to pull him even closer, her breasts squeezing between them. He liked that they were soft, kind of rubbery like himself, and squished him when they moved at the same time. He decided to keep that a secret.

His composure was starting to slip, hips all but grinding with the overload of sensations. His eyes blurred familiarly, but he also felt that continuing to touch her was important. She appreciated this, but felt his attention waning and leaned into his ear.

"It's alright, Luffy," she purred. "You can let go."

He shook his head stubbornly, approaching delirium. Her voice drove him nuts, but he didn't want to let up. Instead, he focused on finding a place she liked. She wasn't 'out' like him, which made it seemingly harder to...whatever they were doing. He squelched lower, frowning with suspicion when he felt something out of place.

_Is that a…hole?_

Curiously, he put one finger in a little and rubbed. He immediately felt her stiffen, pausing in her ministrations. He glanced at her face, seeing her look of surprise. All of a sudden, she leaned her full weight onto him and screamed, pleasure coursing down her spine. Staggering from the position change and thinking she was in pain, he stopped quickly. She looked up at him, eyes wild.

"Why are you _stopping_?" The nails of the hand on his back drew blood and he winced.

"That…that didn't hurt?" he asked nervously.

"Do it _again_. _Now_." Her groan was ecstatic, her whole core hungry for more of the amazing thing he'd just done.

He was afraid of dying, so he complied. She was now grinding into the hand, so he simply moved his finger up until it was rubbing at her entrance. She seemed to like that, saliva leaking out the side of her mouth as she panted.

He blinked at how undone she'd become, realizing he probably didn't look too composed either. It just felt really good.

The heat and steam from the shower made it a chore to breathe. Margaret curled inside deliciously, feel herself climbing towards a climax. She positioned herself over his hand to get a better angle, moving her forehead over so it rested on his collar bone. He lifted his head curiously.

"Luffy, I'm…I'm gonna…mmph…I'm…" She just kept repeating herself, murmuring into his skin, making him more confused. She glanced up at him, lustful eyes blinking through wet eyelashes.

"_Please_," she begged. He gulped and moved his other hand to rub at her back.

"What...do you want me to do," he whispered. She tightened her muscles over his finger, some silent indication of what she wanted. The hole was almost sucking it in, like it wanted more. Sensing he should be gentle, he stuck a second one in and rubbed more resolutely.

Tears formed at the corners of her eyes, blinking through a kind of pleasure she was completely unfamiliar with. She bit his shoulder to stifle a robust cry of approval. Biting his own lip, he forged ahead, trying to give her…well, whatever it was she needed. Margaret resigned herself to violently sucking at his flesh. It felt _so_ good, and it was _so_ hot in the shower, and Luffy's arms were _so_ strong and…

She threw her head back and screamed, "LUFFY, I'M-"

"SHITTY CAPTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN~! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOOOOOOOOU~" came Sanji's distant roar. He was on the ship, and apparently not in a good mood.

Luffy and Margaret both froze. They looked at each other, panic passing between them.

* * *

Sanji jumped down from the railing, stalking across the upper deck and scanning the unoccupied lawn. When he got to the stairs he narrowed his eyes. He may not have been quite as in touch with his sixth sense as Zoro, or had a nose for tracking like Chopper, but he could tell almost immediately that something wasn't right. The little internal tracking device in his head started off at a whisper, each step down the stairs making it a little louder.

_Mellorine…mellorine…mellorine…mellorine…_

* * *

They had turned off the water so they could at least buy some time before he found them.

"Luffy, what should we do? It'll be embarrassing if someone sees us…like this…"

The details of why they had ended up in the shower weren't important. All Margaret knew was that roping someone into getting naked with you and touching each other in…certain places…wasn't a normal activity most people probably did for fun. People meaning, women and men. Together. If possible, she felt it would be better that nobody saw them like this. And Hebihime-sama…

Margaret lifted her hands to cover her face, eyes widening in panic. She felt sick to her stomach.

_I lied to Hebihime-sama._

Luffy was lost in his own thoughts.

_Sanji…mad…_

He glanced at Margaret.

_Margaret's a girl…naked…_

Flashbacks of every attempt to see girls naked in bath houses, every nosebleed, every punch to the head when someone touched or spoke to girls the wrong way…it all came back, a reel of film tainted in certain death.

_Sanji likes girls…Sanji likes naked girls…I'm with a naked girl…_

He looked down at himself.

_I'm naked…_

He gulped, a red flag going off, but no particular course of action revealing itself. With sunken eyes, he looked at his partner in crime.

"Margaret…I think Sanji's going to kill me," he said flatly.

* * *

Sanji cautiously opened the door to the boys room. He sniffed and frowned.

_Mellorine…_

A woman had definitely been in here.

Nothing else seemed out of place, save someone had decided to raid Luffy's locker and toss its contents on the ground. Had he come back to look for something? Had the woman done that? He frowned, wondering how it all tied together.

_Luffy's been missing for the last couple hours…our room smells like a woman…_

The faint sound of the shower starting pulled him from his equation. He stared up at the dome the bath was located in. Frowning one last time at the locker, he made his way to the navigation room.

* * *

"Margaret, you can't let him find me," Luffy whispered, his face terrified. "He likes girls. Naked girls. More than anything. When I told him I landed on Amazon Lily when we got separated..." He brought his hands up and fisted is soggy hair. "And he almost _died_ on Fishman Island. He can't see us like this. He'll kill me. He'll really kill me."

Margaret had started the shower again, a plan already taking form. "He's the one that gets nosebleeds really easily, right," she asked thoughtfully. Luffy nodded, confused about where she was going with this.

"Then just do as I tell you."

* * *

"Luffy, you in there?"

The water continued to run as Sanji stood outside the door. His captain's hat sat on the sink, indicating that he was inside. Yet, nobody answered.

_Maybe he's in trouble…maybe he passed out in the water…_

Sanji wasn't too keen on barging in on another dude, but Luffy wasn't saying anything. And there was his ability to consider. Had he drowned in the bath or something? Franky had made the damn shower to prevent stuff like that from happening though…

The cook jiggled the knob. It was locked. He sighed and stepped back from the door a little.

"You better be close to death, you little shit," he muttered. Taking a drag on his cig, he swung his leg out and kicked the door open. Steam clouded his vision at first. Apparently Luffy didn't have a problem with near scalding water temperatures. From inside he heard a shriek and some shuffling.

_A girl?_

Sanji forgot about his shield and rushed in, view still blocked by steam.

"Excuse me? Miss? Are you alr-"

He ran into something soft and fell to the floor. Most of the steam had rushed out the door when he'd kicked it open, so he could see a lot better now. But maybe not as well as he thought, because for some reason, it felt like his face had been padded by some nice breasts. Surely that wasn't possible, especially for someone as lowly as himself. Being stuck between breasts…that was the day he would surely die…

Margaret had only intended to come to the door in a towel, hoping that would be enough to get him to pass out. She hadn't counted on him breaking down the door and coming in. Frightened of what he would do but too shocked to move, she made eye contact with the man nestled in her chest. Both of them blinked, trying to contemplate what was happening.

Light from the window glowed behind her, like an angel's halo. Her golden hair curled over smooth skin…wait? Golden hair? He was in rapture of her beauty, visions of their angelic children running circles around in his head. He looked down at her naked chest and…

_God DAMMIT…_

Blood exploded from his nose, propelling him through the top of the dome and into the sky. He got high enough that he started to arc towards Amazon Lily when his momentum gave out, since they were only about a mile away now.

Everyone on the Kuja's ship gawked. Nami rolled her eyes. Robin looked on, unsure of whether her amusement with the situation was actually appropriate. Usopp and Chopper spotted him, initially shocked, and then they both donned their poker faces when they saw the giant arc of blood.

"He's gonna need more transfusions now," Usopp mused, bored. Chopper nodded, a little ticked that his invention hadn't worked out. He sighed.

* * *

Luffy rubbed his nose and crept out from behind the bathroom door, glaring at Margaret.

"Some plan. I think he broke my face when he kicked this stupid thing in." Margaret glared right back.

"Just be grateful he didn't see you. Now get out. I've gotta get all this blood off me," she growled.

Luffy perked up and walked over to her, "Oh yeah! Can we finish that th-" She drove her foot into his face and he bounced out of the bathroom. She slammed the door and locked it, fuming. Luffy had fallen through the hole and landed on the floor of the navigation room. He rubbed his head and pouted up at where he'd been kicked out.

"Geez. What's her problem..."

* * *

**Meanwhile...**

"Aphelandra! That's one of the guys from Luffy-san's crew!"

A crowd of girls that had gathered at the port to greet Hancock and Luffy's companions circled around the giant Amazon. She whimpered and held Sanji's unconscious body out at arms length.

"Wh-what should I do? He's bleeding everywhere!"

"Hurry! Let's take him to Belladonna! He could bleed to death like this!" The crowd whisked him out of Aphelandra's hands, leaving her to stand near the port. Sandersonia looked at her sympathetically.

"I guess I'd expect nothing less from someone in that man's crew. Still, he landed in…quite the awkward place, didn't he."

Aphelandra stared at the blood on her breasts, looking like she might cry.

"I…I'm going to go clean up now…"

Marigold and Sandersonia watched her trudge off in the direction of the village. They looked at each other and grinned.

"Looks like things are going to be interesting from now on."


	5. Calm Your Tits

**A/N: **_Finally off the boat~ :U__  
_

* * *

**Suppressed**

**Ch. 5: Calm Your Tits**

* * *

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY SHIP? SANJI YOU DUMBASS," Franky raged loudly. He was currently on the roof of the bathhouse, caressing the wood around the hole Sanji had created. Said dumbass was currently resting comfortably in Belladonna's house. Chopper had gone ahead to give him his transfusions as soon as they'd landed. Everyone else had either gone to get situated at Hancock's palace or stayed to watch Franky lament over the ship's damage. This option was proving to be more entertaining.

The details of why Sanji had gone careening through the dome propelled by his own bodily fluids were yet to be disclosed. Robin glanced at Nami who stood beside her on the deck, shaking her head.

"How long do you think it'll take to fix that, Franky?"

"This is all made out of ADAM wood, you guys! You can't just find this on ANY old island," he sobbed, pressing his cheek to the dome's surface. "If I start now and use the spare boards I brought with me it'll take about a week." He wiped his eyes and gave the roof one last pat before covering it with a tarp, carrying on like it was the body of a fallen comrade. Robin chuckled and walked to the side of the ship. Usopp was waiting on the dock for her orders.

"Franky-san says a week. He's about to make the list for you, Long Nose-kun."

"Ah, thanks Robin. I'll take it and be back in a little bit then. I'm gonna go check this place out. If I run into anyone, are we still meeting at the palace later?"

"I believe so," she said. She looked back at Franky, who was trudging into his shop to look for wood, mumbling about how un-super everything was. "I suggest you find someplace to get the parts first, but Franky-san will probably need a moment once your gone. It should be fine if you take your time."

* * *

Hancock glanced nervously down at Luffy, her face a rosy pink. Her attendants had just finished taking the crew's belongings to the wing of the palace they were to be staying in, and now she was going with him to see his friend with the nosebleed. They hadn't had much time to be together alone on the ship, so she was pleased that he had invited her to come along. Well, admittedly she had invited herself, but he hadn't objected. Close enough.

"When the hell do we eat," Zoro mumbled.

Oh yeah. He was there too.

Hancock glared behind her at the green haired retard who was putting a damper on her good mood. He stared back, daring her to give him anything but a straight answer. Luffy was here though, so she had to be pleasant. Telling his first mate she couldn't care less if he dropped dead might be too blunt. Bringing her hand shyly to her mouth, she said, "We will eat when Luffy says he's ready."

Zoro normally would have been satisfied with this answer, knowing full well that Luffy wanted to eat basically any time it was an option. Since they'd gotten off the ship though, he'd been in a sour mood. His pout protruded noticeably, and he glared down at the rock he was kicking in his path. Hancock had noticed too. She thought mentioning food would've surely cheered him up. She quietly let him advance in front of her and fell into step with Zoro.

"Is this your fault, Ingrate?" she whispered accusingly. He sighed, annoyed.

"I told you, didn't I? I had NO IDEA where he was on the ship. Still don't. He won't say anything. Just keeps acting like a baby. Besides, he'll get over it. Whatever it is," Zoro stated in a bored tone. It wasn't unlike his childish captain to mope around when something didn't go his way, and 90% of the time his behavior stemmed from something stupid. But, he hadn't reacted to the talk of food. Maybe he really _was_ upset.

_I'm thinking about this too much._

He stared at the ground, then used his peripherals to glance at Hancock. She was still walking beside him, her eyes locked on Luffy's back. Her cheeks maintained that splash of red, and her blue eyes seemed to beg him to look back at her. Zoro shrugged and grunted to himself, looking up to see a crowd of girls gathered outside the house they were approaching.

Luffy snapped out of his daze and blinked as they approached the crowd. The girls turned to them, many a 'kya' screamed at the sight of their beloved empress. She graced them all with a smile, a path clearing for her as a row of amazon's fainted instantly. The conscious ones moved to get the fallen out of her way, all the while praising and thanking her for even looking at them. The snake princess turned slightly to Luffy, not really expecting him to be impressed by how much they adored her, but…

"Looks like they don't hate you," Zoro offered sarcastically, going in ahead of them. A couple girls paused in their admiration of Hancock to stare after him , whispering and giggling to each other. Hancock gritted her teeth and followed after Luffy, trying not to snap at the bold few who reached out to touch him in front of her.

Inside, they were greeted by Chopper who was kneeling beside the futon Sanji slept on. He waved.

"Hey guys! Sanji's doing really well now," he said happily. "We found a donor after all. I was worried there wouldn't be anyone with his blood type again."

Luffy turned to the girls filling the doorway and peering in curiously. He bowed, feigning a smile.

"Thanks you guys for bringing him here. He could've bled to death if it wasn't for you."

"Anything for you, Luffy-sama! Luffy-sama, we're just glad we could help! Anything for Luffy-sama's friends!" the girl's called out.

"It wasn't easy, Luffy-san. This boy's got quite the troublesome blood type. He can't really afford to bleed out his nose," Belladonna said coming around the corner and into the room. She smiled and gestured at Chopper. "You've got a brilliant doctor, though." Chopper blushed and wiggled around.

"BAKA! I'm not happy at all!"

Hancock cleared her throat. "Thank you, Belladonna. If you could have a couple girls carry him back to the palace, he can rest more comfortably." Belladonna blushed a little and turned away, taking a drag on her kiseru.

"Well, you heard Hebihime-sama. I need volunteers to carry this guy."

Girls rushed the futon, a couple of them fighting over who got to carry which corner. Chopper frantically tried to get them to settle down so they wouldn't disturb Sanji. He eventually had to transform into Heavy Point, earning some impressed 'ooohs' and 'aaaahs'. Order was restored after a few minutes, and they finally started down the road, cook in tow. Hancock, Luffy and Zoro followed behind the procession. Zoro smiled.

"Heh. It's almost like a funeral," he mused. "If only he could see how many girls are fighting over him right now." He laughed. Hancock looked from him to Luffy, trying to see if the object of her affections had found that funny. There was no reaction, so she clocked the swordsman in the head to be safe.

She huffed and turned up her nose. "Aren't you crew mates? Don't be so insensitive." She looked to Luffy for approval, the cat that brought the dead mouse to its master's feet. Zoro rubbed his head, mumbling under his breath.

"He would've said something similar if it were me in his position. And don't touch my head. You probably haven't washed your hands since the last time you disemboweled a small child," he grumbled. She kicked him too hard and he flew into the nearest house. With some effort, he peeled himself off the wall and stalked back over to her, both of them engaging in a verbal battle of dominance, insults flying freely. Salome slithered away from them and escaped into the shadows of an alley. Luffy sighed, undeterred by their behavior. He scratched his head under his hat. Chopper fell into step with him and sighed tiredly.

"This is exhausting. All these women want to do is touch us. I can understand a little, but geez. I need a break or something." He reverted back to Brain Point, glancing up at Luffy's far away expression. He smiled.

"I know you've probably already seen everything there is to see here, Luffy, but maybe you could show Usopp and me around later? It could be an adventure!" he yelled happily, arms spread to depict his excitement. Luffy's eyes brightened and he smiled a little.

"Yeah! Sure! I actually never had much of a chance to explore around here since I was training, so it'll be new for me too," he admitted, laughing brightly. Chopper nodded, glad Luffy seemed like himself again. He skipped a little, seeing they were falling further behind Sanji's caravan. Luffy watched him and grinned, preparing to start skipping as well, when Chopper stopped after a few seconds. He squealed like a little kid and ran over to someone, indiscernible words of joy fading behind him as he neared the person of interest. Luffy looked up and his eyes widened in surprise and confusion.

* * *

Margaret looked up from paying the vendor, surprised to hear the squeal of happiness behind her. Chopper launched from the ground and she caught him, his giggling making her giggle as well. She shifted him to one arm and hooked her bag over her wrist, adjusting her hold on him so he was cradled like a child. Her snake moved over a bit, flicking his tongue in mild annoyance at the disturbance.

"Chopper-kun! What are you doing here?" she asked curiously. Chopper pointed out at the fading crowd carrying Sanji through the streets.

"Sanji's doing so well now, we decided to move him to the palace so he can sleep better," he said, smiling cutely at her. Then as if he remembered something, he jumped down and scampered out to the street again. When he got about halfway out, she looked up and saw Luffy. He was staring at her, but she couldn't quite put her finger on his expression. She sweat dropped and slumped a little as she followed Chopper over to him. He tugged on Luffy's shirt and pointed at her.

"That's her! She's the one that saved Sanji! If she hadn't showed up, I don't know what I would've done. She was the only match!" he cried gleefully. Luffy grinned widely.

"Sanji and Margaret have the same blood type? Wow! That's really something! Thanks for helping him, Margaret!" He sounded sincere, but his smile was forced, like he wanted to say something more.

She blushed a little, smiling back. "It-it was nothing, really. I happened to be passing by and Chopper-kun asked if he could see if we matched. He seemed pretty desperate."

Chopper's eyes glittered adoringly. "No, no, Margaret! You're really kind! Even after we'd taken your blood, you took care of Sanji for me so I could prepare everything! You made sure everyone gave him his space and kept quiet so he could sleep!" He waved his arms around frantically again, trying to get Luffy to comprehend the insurmountable good Margaret had apparently done. "Not to mention you were on the ship with us when we landed! You got to Belladonna-san's so swiftly! You would've had to run pretty fast!"

Margaret blushed more, feeling like Chopper was somehow making this awkward, but she wasn't sure in what way. She looked at Luffy. He was pouting and glaring at her.

"Yeah. She runs pretty fast, doesn't she," he murmured bitterly. Her face became a flaming brand.

"Well, certain things happened and I felt I needed some fresh air anyway, so I came over to help," she tried to say calmly. Chopper was all teeth, happy his two friends were conversing so nicely. It was almost like they'd already been acquainted.

"Well, if fresh air was all you needed. Because there's none of that on a _pirate ship_," he muttered, shrugging exaggeratedly. Margaret took a step forward so Chopper might not hear.

"Stop it," she whispered. "I didn't want any of your friends finding me like that. I thought it best that I just disappear."

"Why would they care? They've seen me naked plenty of times," he argued, their faces gradually getting closer.

"That's because you have absolutely NO SHAME," she spat angrily.

They both looked down at Chopper, still smiling, completely oblivious to their fight. Margaret smiled and pulled Luffy away a little. "Excuse us for a moment, Chopper-kun."

Once their backs were turned to him, Luffy regarded her and crossed his arms.

"You didn't finish. In the bath."

"THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE UPSET ABOUT?" she screeched. She caught herself and looked back to see if Chopper had noticed. He was raiding her bag of fruit and nibbling happily on an apple. She whirled back on the idiot rubber man. "If that's all, blame your stupid cook. He's the one that interrupted us." Luffy perked up.

"So we can do it again? If nobody interrupts us?" Margaret glared suspiciously and poked his chest.

"OH no. No. We're done. That was too much for me. Besides, I'M the one that should be mad at YOU. You LIED to me," she said. He frowned, confused.

"Eh? What do you mean? You started it!"

"Don't pull that on me. You were just as curious. And it's not like_ you_ finished _me_ either," she hissed. Her finger dug into his chest harder and he winced.

"Ow! Geez! And wait, I lied to you? WHEN?"

"THESE," she growled, cupping his balls through his pants, "THESE ARE NOT JEWELS." Luffy made a startled noise and looked at her in shock.

"OF COURSE THEY AREN'T ACTUAL JEWELS, IDIOT. WHO WOULD HAVE JEWELS THERE."

"I'M THE IDIOT?" She roared incredulously. "I DON'T CALL MY PRIVATE PARTS JEWELS, WALK AROUND NAKED BRAGGING ABOUT HOW I HAVE JEWELS," she brought herself closer to him, squeezing her captives for emphasis. "THESE ARE NOT JEWELS. **YOU**_ ARE THE IDIOT_."

Luffy didn't answer. Margaret finally noticed the small flush that had risen to his cheeks. He stared into her eyes, panting softly. She blinked in disbelief. Was he…getting_ turned on_?

"Can-can you…more…" he groaned. He brought his hands around to grip her back. His pelvis moved forward a little, asking her to continue. Her face nearly exploded as blood rushed to it. She let go and stumbled away from him, noting the curious onlookers they'd attracted. Chopper was staring at them worriedly.

"Guys? You okay?" he asked. Margaret walked briskly over to the little reindeer, patted his head, and ran off with the fruit he hadn't already eaten, leaving Luffy standing in the middle of the road hot, bothered, and with the beginnings of a visible arousal.

* * *

_What the hell…was THAT._

Usopp gawked at where the scene had just taken place, wondering to himself. He watched the blonde chick sprint away, his jaw still dropped in disbelief. Had she really just…

He turned his head to look back at Luffy. Oh, yep. There it was. Fancy that. Those old, washed out shorts he wore all the time were baggy, but apparently not baggy enough to conceal a boner. The color in his face was a nice touch.

Usopp moved to hide behind some crates on the side of the road, watching intently as Luffy and Chopper continued walking. Chopper didn't seem to notice anything. Neither did Zoro and that Hancock lady, although they were already preoccupied with screaming at each other.

_That girl…she just fondled his junk. Like it was no big deal._

The mere thought of it was enough to provoke uproarious laughter, especially since it was _Luffy's_ balls that had just been molested. Usopp had watched and fully expected the moron to make a scene of pushing her away from his precious kintama. But his reaction had killed any potential humor to be born from that situation. In fact, it had disturbed Usopp on multiple levels. Firstly, since _when_ had_ Luffy, _of ALL people, had the ability to become _sexually fucking aroused_? And for that matter,_ know_ he was aroused _well enough_ to respond _as if he knew what to expect from being touched like that_?

To consent to that, ya gotta know what it entails, right? That had looked _pretty_ damn consensual to Usopp. Also, _why the hell would she grab him there in the first place_?

_What the hell is going on…_

He jumped when he heard a hiss behind him. Jerkily, as if his neck were made up of rusty gears, he turned his head to look at what was behind him. Salome slithered out, his creepy snake grin preceding him and making chills run down Usopp's spine. He picked up the bags of stuff for Franky and ran back to the ship as fast as his fearless legs could carry him. Salome shrugged as well as a snake can and slithered back towards the palace.

* * *

"I know I had it here somewhere…" Franky murmured to himself, pushing past tools and random pieces of scrap metal. For the past hour he'd been picking desperately through all of his collective odds and ends looking for the one piece of equipment he could not go without, no matter what project. Said important piece of equipment seemed to have dropped off the face of the Earth. Without it, he wouldn't even be able to start cutting stuff.

"Dammit. I bet Nami borrowed it again," he finally concluded, giving up on finding it in the stuff strewn about the shop. Usopp always asked permission if he needed to borrow something, so if Franky didn't know where it was, it meant Nami had taken it. He never knew whether she did it on purpose or out of pure habit. She was a thief, after all. He walked out and headed for the navigation room. He smiled when he saw it lying innocently on her desk, like it had been waiting for him.

"Glad I found you," he greeted the tape measurer. He sighed in relief, thinking about equipping himself with one soon to avoid future panic attacks. He was just about to turn around and head back when something caught his eye.

Sitting on a small coffee table in the corner was a familiar looking book. The cover was maroon with fancy looking gold lettering. Franky raised an eyebrow and walked over. He picked it up and held it in his huge hand. It was pretty old. Some pages were sticking out farther than others and the binding had visible creases in it, a sure sign it had been read many times.

_I think this is what Robin was reading yesterday..._

Robin could go through a book a day if she really hunkered down and ignored everything around her. Rarely did she bother with the same book twice, and yet he remembered seeing her with this particular one on multiple occasions.

"Ro-me-o And Ju-li-et," he sounded out loudly, wondering how something with such a simple title could hold the attention of such an intriguing woman. He flipped through the pages slowly, seeing there were a couple illustrations. It was also written weird. Names were written out before sentences to indicate who was talking.

_Oh, I see. It's a play._

Thumbing further, he stopped at a particularly interesting picture. A guy was kneeling under some trees while a girl stared up at the sky from a balcony. He tilted his head.

_Is he…wearing tights?_

He quirked an eyebrow, closing the book gently. He looked around just to be sure nobody was going to jump out at him, and placed the book in the compartment that popped out of his torso. He'd look at it again later.

* * *

___This has to be a dream..._

As far as the eye could see, empty hills of blowing grass beckoned to Sanji. The sun was gentle, and the blue of the sky pure and endless. Light played off of everything, making it all so beautiful and hazy. Small clusters of trees grew, some of them bearing delicious looking fruit he had never even seen before. Butterflies danced from flower to flower, bees hummed lazily, his kids laughed as they ran up to greet him-

Wait.

Sanji walked forward, vaguely aware that the angel's running toward him were his own flesh and blood. But how could that be? Now they pulled at him, urging him up over that last hill, the dirt path leading up to the crest where he knew he would be able to look out and see his home. The children cheered when he reached the top, and he gazed out at all that lay before him.

The serene waters of his sought after All Blue graced the background of his vision, stretching out to the horizon. And right on the coast, sitting next to the beach, was his house. It was a medium sized one story that opened out into an inviting court yard. It looked airy and cheerful, just like he would have wanted. It was his house, after all. He looked down at his children, the oldest a beautiful boy, and the younger two twin girls. They had all been blessed with a mop of golden curls and pearly smiles. He laughed and ran down the hill with them, reveling in the free feeling and letting the wind blow at his shirt- wait. What the hell was he _wearing_?

Sanji reached the bottom of the hill and touched his hands to his outfit. He wore black leather boots, and his pant were held in place by a sash tied around his waist. The shirt was simple and loose, the sleeves large, and it had no buttons, so it was open to reveal his manly chest. He smiled, liking how he looked in this dream. He ran his hands proudly through his hair, now significantly longer and…lustrous? Yes, that was the word. And he was clean cut again, with no hair falling to cover his eyebrows. Hell, he hadn't even felt the insistent urge to take out a cigarette yet.

Looking up, he saw a woman waving at them from the front door. As he walked closer, he could see the broom in her hands as she swept sand off the front porch. Her face was fuzzy, but he could see that beautifully familiar golden hair that rested gently against her shoulders. She put the broom down and lifted the skirts of her dress, smiling sunnily and running to him like he had been away on a journey and she couldn't wait any longer.

_That explains this huge bag I'm carrying._

Sanji dropped the bag and ran to meet her, the whole scene going in slow motion to mimic that of a dramatic movie. He wanted to shed tears of joy, so great was his happiness. But he resisted, for running towards him were the most perfect breasts on the planet, and they were all his to bury his sojourning face in. He spread his arms wide and-

* * *

"COME! TAKE ME INTO YOUR WARM EMBRACE, MY LOVE," he yelled loudly, sitting up in bed. He opened his visible eye tentatively when he didn't feel breasts on his face. In place of a buxom wife, he got Chopper staring at him from his chair next to the bed as if he were a four headed spoon.

"Er…Sanji? Are you all right?" he asked slowly. Sanji lowered his arms to his sides, staring at the wall in silent disappointment. He snapped out of it after a few moments when he realized he didn't know where he was.

"Chopper? Where the hell are we?"

"We're in Hancock-sama's palace right now. She let you use this room specifically because of the big bed."

Sanji looked around and gawked at the huge bed he was in. It was probably the biggest bed he had ever seen in person. It was covered by silk sheets the color of ruby's, and row after row of matching pillows sat behind him. He sighed dreamily.

"Hancock-sama…the most beautiful woman in the world did this just with me in mind? I'm really not worthy…" He rested his chin in his hands and sighed, hearts appearing where his eyes should have been.

Chopper frowned. That was a suspiciously weak response to the information he had just given the cook. Wasn't he supposed to try to get up and skip around the room? Where was the nosebleed? And since when had his hearts been this tame? He had found a couple more girls with Margaret's blood type, and had prepared for Sanji's reaction to Hancock's attentions like a squirrel getting ready for hibernation. Maybe he needed to actually _see_ girls in order to be in a near death situation? That had to be it.

Sanji slowly lowered himself back against the pillows, contemplating what he wanted to dream about more: his gorgeous unidentified angel, or the beautiful, graceful, kind, regal, and undoubtedly incomparable soul that was Boa Hancock. Two women without faces for him to recall. He smirked to himself.

_Not that the face is the most important part._

He fell back asleep, as visions of breasts danced through his head.

* * *

There was a list of things Hancock regretted. Most of them pertained to Luffy. Because of the underlying guilt she felt for almost killing him the first time they met, and the overwhelming feelings of love she had for him now, she was willing to do just about anything he said.

Even wait for him while he went to look for the furry one who went to see the one with the nosebleed.

Even if waiting meant sitting in the same room and breathing the same air as Roronoa Zoro.

To stay positive and remind herself of why she did these things, she had taken to ignoring the swordsman and had begun making another entry in her journal. She hadn't counted on him falling asleep and snoring like he was trying to wake the dead. Of course, for Luffy's sake, she'd started off by politely throwing a shoe at him. Things escalated from there, and, well…here she was, running through the halls of her own palace chasing some moron who had managed to steal one of her most prized possessions. She saw him duck into an empty room and she burst in after him

"YOU PIG HEADED SON OF A BITCH," Hancock screamed, bearing down on him like a jungle cat. Zoro just smirked, holding behind his back the piece of gravy-fied dress she'd cut out to put in her journal. He shook his head in sarcastic disappointment.

"You sound pretty undignified right now. It's not very becoming."

"I'LL SHOW YOU BECOMING," she sneered. She leaped back from him, shaping her hands into a heart, the consequences of using her ability not even crossing her mind anymore. Zoro saw it coming and jumped back towards the window at the side of the room. He pushed it open and held the captive relic out, letting it hang ominously. She immediately froze and stared, positive there was some kind of pond a few floors below that window.

"You wouldn't _dare_," she said with quiet malice. He widened his eye innocently.

"Take back what you said about my hair," he suggested, as if it were the most novel idea he'd ever come up with.

"Never."

"Fine." He lifted his pinky off the piece of cloth and she cried out like she had just been stabbed.

"WAIT. I-"

"You what."

"I…"

"Yeah?"

"…"

"Waiting," he said, offering a sexy smile. She looked like she was going to try and rush him again so he lifted his fourth finger. She bit her lip, physical pain running through her.

"Ok, ok…um…" She straightened herself and gestured for him to wait a second while she prepared herself. He rolled his eyes as she brought a hand to her forehead, contemplating her options.

"I'll count to three," he said flatly. "That might help you decide faster."

"NO," she shrieked. He was caught off guard with the mere force of the word, and then he damn well near screamed in alarm when her face was beside him, her eyes boring into his very soul and tearing it into something unrecognizable. He stumbled halfway out the window, hand still gripped firmly on the object she desired.

"Give it to me," she seethed. "You have nowhere to run."

"WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU JUST JUMP ME IN THE FIRST PLACE," he bawed. "SCARE THE SHIT OUTTA ME WILL YA…"

"It's because from the very beginning you had lost," she crooned poisonously. One well manicured nail traced dangerously over his pectorals. He stared, not really sure what he should do.

"Wh-what are you doing…" he asked warily. She stared unwaveringly into his eyes, letting her nail travel lower until it hooked suggestively into his harameki. She leaned forward, pressing her giant breasts against his arm. He tried to move away, but there was only the window and six stories of solid air before he reached the ground. He could probably manage that, but he was still human. He preferred going the least painful route.

"Don't look away from me," she said, silky smooth with chocolate sauce on top. Her other hand moved slowly to caress his face. One nail slid beneath his chin and made a small cut, a drop of blood trickling down his neck. He gulped.

_Yep. Window looks good._

Without another thought, he leaped up and stood out the window, grinning at her bewildered expression.

"Sayonara," he said simply before stepping off the sill.

"AH! NO," she cried helplessly, jumping after her precious piece of Luffy and latching onto Zoro's waist. They plunged towards the huge pond beneath them.

"LET GO!" he bellowed.

"GIVE ME THE CLOTH." Her hair flew wildly around them, coming up to obstruct his view of how clo-

And then suddenly, they hit water. The force of their fall dragged them surprisingly deep for a pond. Her grip on him went lax and he kicked up to the surface, punching through and coughing for air. He immediately touched his waist, confirming that his swords were still there. Swimming to the edge, he pulled himself half out and remembered something. He glanced back at where he'd just swum from, noticing Hancock hadn't surfaced yet. He waited a couple seconds.

_This…this isn't a salt water pond is it?_

He licked his lips. Nope. No salt. The water probably ran from a fresh water spring and collected here. So why was she still underwater?

_Maybe…she just doesn't even know how to swim..._

"Shit."

He scrambled to remove his boots and placed his swords on the grass, balling his robe up next to everything. He dove under and swam until he could scan the bottom. It was kind of murky, but since there were only plants around, it was fairly easy to find her. He grabbed her by the waist and hoisted her up until they broke the surface again, him trying to figure out the least awkward way of carrying a woman her size. He ended up dragging her in a makeshift bridal hold up to the edge of the pond and dumping her body next to his clothes. He hoisted himself out and knelt next to her. She wasn't breathing.

_Shitshitshit…_

Zoro already knew CPR because of all the ability users on the ship, but as he stared down at Hancock, he lost confidence in himself. It was already bad enough that her breasts were fucking titanic, but now, her revealing top had been lost somewhere in the pond and _everything_ was bared to him. He knew time was of the essence though, so he tore his eyes away and tilted her head back, closing his mouth around her own.

Hancock felt herself being pulled through space, suddenly feeling some pressure on her lungs. She woke with a start and vomited water onto the ground next to her. Through her shivering and tears, she saw the stupid swordsman kneeling beside her. He silently regarded her shaking figure, clearly clueless about what to do now. And was that a look of _concern_? Disgusting. Disgraceful. _Unacceptable_. She knew immediately that he had probably just saved her life, which only made her want to kill him more. She sat up and glared, mud and various plant leaves soiling her masquerade of perfection. Was he smirking? Damn him. And why was he shirtless? And laughing? He was LAUGHING?

"How DARE you," she hissed, stumbling on her skirt when she attempted to stand up. He stood up with her and smirked, moving to pick up his robe.

"If I hadn't dared, you'd probably still be down there," he said casually. Hancock shivered uncontrollably, both from the company she was keeping and because the sun was already setting. It was so cold. Why was she-

"KYAAA! W-W-WHY AM I T-T-TOPLESS? WHAT DID YO-" She was shut up when his robe landed on her head. She lifted the fabric from her face suspiciously. He hadn't made a move to attack, so why…

"Put it on," he ordered. She blinked, dumbfounded, watching him as he put his boots back on. He noticed her staring and looked up, ever irritated with her face.

"Are you deaf? Put it on. Unless you'd rather have your tits on display."

"How rude. As if I would wear _anything_ of _yours_," she started arrogantly. Her blouse really was nowhere to be seen though, and it wouldn't do to walk back around to the palace entrance like this. In a final show of defiance, she twisted the robe so all the water was squeezed out and turned her back to him to put it on. Zoro frowned when he saw the mark of the Tenryuubito through the scraggly strands of her hair.

"What is that?"

She froze, knowing exactly what he was talking about and silently flipped the rest of her hair over her shoulder to cover it. He noticed her reaction and scratched at his neck.

"Forget it."

He walked over to some cat tails and snatched the piece of cloth, which had safely floated to rest on top of one. She finished covering herself and stared down at him as he handed it to her. No words of apology were spoken as she took it from him. He turned from her and went back to his swords, making sure they were secure on his hip, and started to walk away. She just stared after him, completely at a loss for words.

Well, maybe not completely.

"You're going the wrong way, moron," she yelled, her tone more amused than mean. He stopped walking and turned to glare at her, whirling in a half circle and walking briskly in the direction she indicated. She followed behind, kicking the one shoe she still had at his head when he started to wander off.


	6. Of Destiny And A Meat Dress

**A/N:** _Please enjoy~_

* * *

**Suppressed**

**Ch. 6: Of Destiny and a Meat Dress**

* * *

At last. Destiny had finally brought him to this one moment. His whole life, all of his ambitions, his training…all of it was about the now.

"Mihawk," Zoro said, cool as a cucumber, "I've finally surpassed you." Dust swirled around him as he reached for the bandana on his arm. Mihawk smiled and raised his chin in defiance.

"We shall see, boy. If my training has gotten through to you, and you have truly become a man worthy of challenging my sword, come at me with everything you have." He lifted his huge sword from his shoulders easily, pointing it's glinting blade in Zoro's direction. "Come at me! Roronoa!" He cried.

Zoro finished tying the cloth around his hair and moved his hands to his swords. He smirked with complete confidence.

_I even get theme music? Fuck yeah._

He gripped the first katana in his hand, feeling the texture of the handle, just like he had so many battles before. But this was different. So very different.

_Today, I become the best in the world._

With dramatic flair, he pulled the blade slowly from its sheath and-

_What the hell, why isn't it coming out…_

Mihawk regarded his opponent. He frowned.

"Is there a problem, Roronoa Zoro?"

Zoro pulled with all his beastly might, trying to get the damn sword out.

_It's…it's stretching? What the hell is this…_

The blade warped when he pulled, stretching to a point, but refusing to come completely out. What was going on?

He looked back at Mihawk. His head had fallen to his shoulder and his eyes were closed.

_Is…is he SLEEPING?_

Snoring sounds confirmed: He had bored Dracule Mihawk to sleep.

_No! This…this isn't how it's supposed to go!_

As he stared in humiliated horror at his sleeping mentor and eternal rival, Mihawk began to grow exponentially in size. He towered over Zoro, his arms and legs lengthening to giant proportions. He draped his cape over his face and laughed mockingly, pointing at Zoro with one hand. All Zoro could do was gape in complete shock.

"Insolent fool! Termites like you are better off feeding on dust with the other scum swordsmen of this world!"

"That's not true! I'm going to surpass you! I promised-" He was cut off by the earth underneath his feet pushing him up towards the sky, and before he knew it, he was at eye level with Mihawkzilla. The giant cackled wickedly.

"How can someone like YOU do it?" Mihawk started, dropping the cape from his face to reveal Hancock's in its place. "YOU'RE NOT EVEN ON MY LEVEL! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Zoro tried to steady himself, the earth under him starting to tremble and fall apart. Hancock was reaching for him with her bony fingers and razor sharp nails, his eye growing wider as they got closer. He looked down; all that was beneath him was becoming molten lava. He felt the hand close around him and lift him into the air further. Hancock's face loomed over him, her ghastly mouth opening slowly to reveal monstrous, dripping fangs. He desperately pulled at his swords, none of them coming out. He was completely out of options. He couldn't even scream. All he could do was stare.

_This…_

Her mouth opened wider and her hand positioned him in the air so he was now directly above it. She was going to swallow him. He was going to be swallowed by this huge monster woman and he couldn't even do anything about it.

_This cannot be happening._

He felt her hand release him, felt the air whip around him as he fell freely into the abyss that was Hancock's throat, felt her mouth close with a chomp-

* * *

Zoro's eye flew open and he gasped loudly, flailing the arm he wasn't laying on in the air like he was falling. Cold sweat dripped down his forehead and neck. He breathed heavily, whipping his head around the room to make sure there were no strange, monstrous women ready to devour him. All he saw were the rest of the guys sleeping on the floor and various pieces of furniture around the room.

_Oh. That's right. Ugh. Shit…_

Last night, after a huge private banquet in the palace, all the guys had congregated into one room to drink and be stupid while Nami and Robin went to bed early. Instead of gravitating to their separate rooms, it looked like everyone had just crashed wherever they happened to fall. Zoro rubbed his throbbing, hungover head and glanced around in half hearted amusement. Usopp was sprawled on the floor in his boxers, an empty bottle stuck on his nose. When he exhaled, air from his nostrils made a low sound vibrate off the glass. Franky was leaned in an upright sitting position against a wardrobe in the corner. His snores would've been loud enough to wake everyone had Brook's afro not been muffling them. The skeleton was half laying on the padded window seat with his head on Franky's shoulder and his guitar on the floor. Chopper was the only one that had managed to crawl into the bed.

Zoro looked down at himself. He was lying on the floor, still fully clothed and covered in a blanket he didn't remember grabbing. He half grinned at Luffy's angelic, curled up figure next to him. They probably couldn't have pulled off something more gay looking, but Zoro was presently too hung over to give a damn. It also helped that Sanji wasn't around to comment.

_What a dork. Can't even find his own blanket…_

Luffy shifted closer to Zoro, smiling dreamily to himself and sighing.

"It's good, Margaret…" He mumbled happily into Zoro's shoulder.

Zoro blinked through his headache and frowned.

_Who the hell is Margaret…_

Luffy muttered something unintelligible and slid his arms around Zoro's left arm…

_Ah. Come to think of it, there's nothing here to eat me. I should let go of my sword-_

His one foggy eye fell on his swords, sitting innocently a few feet away. All three. Zoro counted them. And then again. And again.

"More…Margaret…"

Zoro slowly turned back to Luffy, his left arm being crushed in his embrace. The hand in question was currently covered by the blanket. Zoro, for the life of him, couldn't understand why this was so troubling. There was a connection here, and he was apparently too fucked up to make it. He'd have to ask the dragon lady later where she got this shit…it wasn't like he was a light weight…

_What…the flying FUCK am I holding onto right now…_

The swordsman cautiously squeezed. Luffy moaned and kissed his bicep. Zoro's eye widened in disgust.

"ALRIGHT, ASSHOLE, I AIN'T _THAT_ HUNGOVER," Zoro bellowed loudly, whipping the blanket off of his arm. He looked down, and there were his manly fingers. Wrapped in a death grip around Luffy's jean confined erection.

The force of the scream that followed Zoro's initial shock was heard by every person on Amazon Lily whether they were awake or not. Brook spasmed and fell off the window seat, shrieking in terror. Franky, still half asleep, jumped up and tried to run towards the panic. He tripped over Brook and went flying into the other wall. Chopper flew off the bed screaming and landed on Usopp's head, the bottle breaking under his weight and making Usopp cry out in pain as glass shards tore at his face. Luffy flailed ridiculously and screamed in confused response while Zoro scrambled onto the bed and pressed himself against the wall, staring at everyone like he had gone mad.

"WHAT THE HELL, LUFFY?"

"WHADDYA MEAN 'WHAT THE HELL, LUFFY'? YOU'RE THE ONE SCREAMING," Luffy yelled from his place on the floor. He looked angry. "WHERE THE HELL IS MARGARET?"

"WHO THE HELL IS MARGARET?"

"MORON! SHE WAS JUST HERE!"

"ARE YOU AN IDIOT? WHO THE HELL IS MARGARET?"

Zoro felt his soul shattering. Literally shattering into pieces.

"CUT OFF MY HAND," He howled. "CUT OFF MY FUCKING HA-"

"SHUT THE _HELL UP_!" Usopp screeched from the floor, throwing a pillow with perfect accuracy at each of them. Chopper was sobbing next to him and picking glass from his marred face. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON, BOTH OF YOU."

"I….HIM…UGH," Zoro was trying his best to describe what happened with his brain fried and his pride as a man disintegrating before his eyes. Luffy stood up and pointed angrily at him.

"He just woke up screaming! And WHERE THE HELL IS MARGARET?" He roared, squeezing the pillow Usopp had thrown in his hands.

"Mugiwara, what the hell are you babbling abou- JESUS CHRIST, PUT THAT AWAY BEFORE YOU POKE SOMEONE'S GODDAMN EYE OUT!" Franky had finally succeeded in climbing off of Brook and come face to face with Luffy's morning glory. He fell backwards and groaned, his head finally deciding to karma-nize him for last night's alcohol consumption.

Chopper sniffled and addressed Luffy confusedly. "Luffy, Margaret-chan isn't here. Did…did she have something to do with this?"

Luffy looked around, his brow furrowed. Brook's jaw dropped.

"Luffy-san…did you…uh…"

"Did I what?"

Usopp glowered at both of them. "Did he wake us up? Yes. We are all wide fucking awake, Brook. Thanks for asking." The sniper went to rub his aching head but accidentally touched one of his wounds from the bottle and winced.

Zoro slid down the wall to sit on the bed. His one visible pupil was still dilated, and his breathing was staggered. "…I just jerked off another dude…" His face went slightly green and he slowly lowered his head so it was between his legs, resting his elbows on his knees. Everyone stared at him, then turned to look at Luffy. He had torn the pillow in half, feathers now flying around him. Combined with the bulge in his pants, it made it hard to take his death glare seriously.

"Luffy-san had a wet dream," Brook said simply. "YOHOHOHOHOHOHO"

There was an awkward silence while everyone processed that. Luffy glanced around at all of them.

"Huh? No, Zoro was screaming. Nobody's wet." He looked down at his pants, then looked at the ceiling like he was trying to figure something out. "Hey, where'd Margaret go?"

"Mugiwara…were you…dreaming about a…a _girl_?" Franky went slack jawed and lifted his sunglasses slowly, staring in disbelief at his captain.

Luffy quirked an eyebrow. "What the hell are you guys talking about?"

Chopper blinked incredulously. "Luffy…is that true? It was a girl this time?"

Usopp stroked his chin suspiciously. "Usually it's just meat isn't it…"

Everyone nodded, save Zoro and Luffy. Their captain having wet dreams was nothing new. They happened every so often. But it was always from dreaming about…well, food. And to avoid a long, drawn out discussion about things Luffy couldn't really comprehend, Chopper, being the doctor, had grown accustomed to telling Luffy these things happened because he just really liked meat. Chopper had actually been kind of fascinated by the gap between Luffy's brain function and his delayed sexuality. It was a rare occurrence; a human so unmoved by the opposite sex that his subconscious simply used what he loved the most to relieve itself of excess semen. Besides, how do you just up and tell a guy to start masturbating?

It was just one of those things that, if they brought one thing up, they'd have to explain _everything_.

And now they were all dumbfounded, because Luffy had actually figured out how to function like a normal human being. While he was staring at them with a look of annoyance, they were all looking at him and dreading that long, drawn out discussion they'd been avoiding and would now, apparently, have to have.

"Luffy," Chopper started in his professional voice, "we need to have a talk."

Luffy slumped in his posture. "Can we eat first? And don't you have to check on Sanji?" He asked with fake helpfulness, trying to get out of something boring. Chopper blinked.

"Oh yeah. I should go check on him. Be right back guys. Don't leave without me!" He yelled over his shoulder before waddling out the door. Luffy grinned at his own manipulativeness and laughed through his teeth.

"I'll eat later," Zoro said, his tone suggesting he was still shaken by his experiences. He grimaced when he passed by a mirror and floated out the door.

"He's probably gonna go train," Franky said, stretching his huge arms. "He's had a rough couple days."

"It's the only thing that guy knows how to do…plus…after what happened _last night_, I'm really starting to wonder if staying here for so long is a good idea..." Usopp said, a note of sympathy creeping into his voice. "And Luffy…man, who knew, ya know?"

"Knew what?" Luffy asked, tilting his head. When Usopp waved him off he shrugged and ran out the door.

"Even Luffy-san can get boners," Brook mused, staring at the wall (as best he could without eyeballs). Usopp and Franky looked at him expectantly, waiting for the punchline. It didn't come, and they looked at each other worriedly.

It was official. If Brook couldn't even find the enthusiasm to make a skull joke out of it, they probably had something serious on their hands.

Just then, Chopper burst through the door, eyes full of worry.

"Guys, help me look for Sanji. He's not in his room. I can't find him."

* * *

"Those guys," Nami muttered under her breath as she stared at the palace. "They better not be doing anything embarrassing."

Robin chuckled and continued washing Nami's back.

"Navigator-san, you know as well as I do that it's impossible for them to be anything but themselves."

"Great. Just great," Nami said sarcastically, running a hand through her wet hair.

Normally the girls would've taken a bath before going to bed the night before, but it had been an exhausting day. Nami had finally been able to chart a course for them that would accommodate Franky's construction of the roof. She had cleverly thought to leave the log pose for their next island on Sabaody with Rayleigh and Shakky. Since leaving when they were supposed to was always her biggest concern, it was a huge relief to know they would have some time before they had to set out again. Robin smiled at her friend's sigh of contentment, knowing that even if the boys were a huge burden on her, she would be able to relax a little while they were here. They switched places so Nami could scrub her back.

The Snake Princess had offered the use of her personal bath to them, but they both opted for the public one since it was nice out. The sun had almost completely risen, and more amazon women were starting to show up. Robin observed them all, her natural curiosity getting the best of her. She would have to use her time here as wisely as possible and try to archive everything she saw. It was all so interesting.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a familiar face. Her blue eyes sparkled mischievously and she rested her chin in her hands, leaning forward when Nami told her to.

_Interesting indeed..._

Margaret sat talking to a couple girls she knew, laughing softly when they laughed, responding when she was asked a question, and generally trying her best to act like her usual cheerful self. In reality, she had been up all night thinking about Luffy and didn't feel well at all. A quiet bath this early in the morning would've been ideal. She also had a funny feeling she was being watched.

She tuned out for a second and sighed, looking around. Out of nowhere, an arm sprouted from a rock behind one of her friends. Margaret blinked in surprise, especially since the hand attached to the arm proceeded to point at her, and then to her right. Margaret tentatively looked over at Robin and Nami, the red head busy chattering on about some furniture she had seen the day before. Robin smiled warmly at Margaret, casually signaling she was the one that made the arm appear. Margaret smiled shyly back, excusing herself graciously from the group and walking over to the straw hat women.

"Good morning," Nami said with a smile when Margaret approached. Robin just continued to look at her, making the blonde feel sort of uncomfortable.

"G-good morning. You are Nami-san and Robin-san, right?" She asked politely. Nami nodded.

"Haha. Yep. I think I remember you from yesterday, if I'm not mistaken. Margaret, right?"

Margaret nodded, glancing at Robin again. The woman had yet to blink, and it was really starting to creep her out.

"Margaret-chan," She started smoothly, pushing a piece of dark hair behind her ear, "you have beautiful eyes."

Margaret was taken aback by her bluntness and blushed out of modesty. "Oh…uh…th-thank you," she stuttered. Nami squinted through the natural mist of the bath and grinned brightly.

"You're right, Robin. They are really pretty," She continued to study Margaret, making her blush deeper. "They're an interesting color. Very soft. My eyes are plain old brown." She winked at Margaret, then stood up from washing Robin's back. Robin stayed where she was.

"Your skin, too, is very beautiful," Robin continued. Margaret was growing faint from all the attention this gorgeous woman was giving her. She waved her hands in front of her.

"I-it's not that-"

She was cut off when Nami leaned forward and inspected her arms, sliding her hands over her skin to confirm. She smiled widely at Margaret.

"It's so soft! Is there a special ointment you use? I want to buy some!"

Margaret was completely overwhelmed. Nami-san and Robin-san were both so beautiful. She had admired them the first time they boarded the ship, as many of the other girls in the Kuja crew had. And they were both so vibrant. To have such women lavish her with compliments was too much.

Robin stood up and gently touched a lock of Margaret's hair, staring unwaveringly at her with those icy eyes.

"What a lovely color. Almost like…gold," she said thoughtfully, giving Nami a look. Nami's eyes sparkled and she nodded vigorously.

"You're so lucky, Margaret-chan! If I had hair like that, I'd run my hands through it all the time," she said dreamily. Her hands went up to try, and then she caught herself. "C-could I?" She asked, eyes pleading. Margaret smiled hesitantly and nodded.

"Wah! Robin! It's so soft! I can't…even...GAH!" Nami was having a grand old time running her hands uninhibitedly through Margaret's hair, the poor amazon at a loss for what to do now. "I have split ends from growing it for so long without cutting," the navigator pouted. She pressed her cheek against the golden hair and sniffed deeply. Margaret went wide eyed.

"You smell nice too," she whispered huskily. Nami reached around and cupped Margaret's breasts. The blonde gasped but refrained from crying out.

"My, my, Margaret-chan," she cooed teasingly. "These are also very shapely. And you're so shy. It's really adorable," she finished, hugging Margaret possessively. Robin held a hand casually under her chin and chuckled.

"What do you think, Navigator-san. Should we kidnap her?"

Nami grinned, her teeth gleaming in the early morning light. "Yep! But she's mine, Robin. She's my friend. You can't have her," she said playfully, sticking her tongue out at the older woman from her place on Margaret's shoulder.

"I wonder what Senchou would have to say about that."

It was an innocent enough speculation. It could have been alluding to whether Luffy would allow someone else into the crew, and that's probably what Nami assumed. The navigator went on about not caring what he thought, oblivious to the tension forming between her hostage and the archaeologist. But as soon as it came out of Robin's mouth, Margaret knew that wasn't what she had meant. She went rigid in Nami's embrace, slowly raising her head to make eye contact with Robin. Her blue eyes were already smirking with knowledge.

"Margaret-chan, I have a very interesting devil fruit ability," Robin said matter-of-factly, one of her arms blooming to grab the scrub brush for her and indicating that Margaret should sit. "You should know that there's little that goes on in 'that ship' that I don't know about."

Nami had finally caught on to the fact that there was something deeper going on here. She turned her head to look at Margaret, who had grown pale. She narrowed her eyes seriously.

"Robin, what do you mean 'in that ship'," she said quietly, now becoming suspicious of her new friend. "Did you see her do something? On the Sunny?" Her eyes grew wide and furious imagining all the things her partner's passive aggressiveness could have been brought about by. She whirled on Margaret, wrath oozing out of her pores. "Did she steal something from us? Or WORSE, _from me_?" Margaret looked ready to cry.

Robin sweat dropped and shook her head knowingly at Nami's paranoia.

"No such thing, Navigator-san," she chuckled, smiling like she hadn't almost caused Margaret to be killed. Margaret wanted to run away. She was looking for a reason to leave them when she felt Robin pushing her down onto the stool. Nami looked pleasant again now that her possessions were not in question.

"We should actually be very grateful to this girl. She's given us a rare opportunity," she said softly, scrubbing at Margaret's back.

"I assure you, Robin-san, whatever you saw…it can easily be expl-" Margaret's voice had been soft with near tearfulness, but Robin's hand pushed a finger to her lips to quiet her.

"There's really no need to explain, Margaret-chan," she said gently. "You didn't do anything wrong. Like I said, we should be grateful to you."

Margaret may have been confused, but Nami was down right lost.

"Robin, what are you talking about? What did she do? I don't get it," she whined, irritated. "And I already told you Margaret is _my_ friend. I was gonna scrub her back." She smirked and sat in front of Margaret so she could listen to the conversation she was having with Robin.

"Oh, but Navigator-san," Robin chuckled, "I have more in common with Margaret-chan than you do."

"OH? Is that SO? Care to elaborate?"

The raven haired woman smirked and shrugged.

"I, too, find the male reproductive organs to be very fascinating."

* * *

"NYON-BAA~! NYON-BAA~! WHERE ARE YOU, YOU DECREPIT OLD WOMAN?"

Hancock stumbled up the worn out stone steps of the old palace gardens, a more remote place near the cliffs of Amazon Lily. Nyon often took morning walks through here, and had long ago taken it upon herself to tend the flowers that still thrived near the path. Hancock normally wouldn't have bothered making a trip to find her since she had an annoying habit of popping up whenever she felt like it, but this was an emergency. Her bare feet stung from tripping on cracks and fallen branches, and her hair was still a mess from falling in the pond…

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH~!" She screamed in agony and gripped her hair in both hands, attempting to tear those wretched memories away. She only succeeded in getting a couple strands to fall out. She stared at the hair with the face of a dead woman and wondered if she'd go bald because of this.

_I'll kill him. I have to kill him. It's the only way I'll ever have any peace._

She went on calling out desperately for Nyon, ignoring the overgrown vines and branches that tore at her perfect skin. When she got completely up the steps and stood awkwardly at the top, she took a moment to lean on a tree and breathe.

_Stupid old woman. How the hell does she make it up these steps every day? I can barely-_

"Hebihime-sama."

Hancock screamed in surprise and nearly tumbled back down the steps she'd just climbed. She flailed her arms to avoid that and landed on her ass, scowling at Nyon's withered face staring down at her from the tree. The old woman jumped down and regarded Hancock critically.

"Hebihime-sama, what is the meaning of you coming all the way out here to find me looking like…uh…well, this," she said, gesturing at Hancock's general appearance. Hancock pushed herself up with some effort, steadying herself on the uneven stones of the pathway.

"I need to talk to you…about last night," Hancock said heavily, her frown deep and her eyes pained. Nyon raised her eyebrows and nodded. The snake princess never came to her for help if it wasn't absolutely necessary. She had expected a reaction such as this, though. And from the looks of things, she had just woken up. The former empress sighed and started walking down the path into the garden, waving her staff to tell Hancock to walk with her. Hancock watched after her for a moment before jogging to catch up.

"Hebihime-sama, I trust you nyow know just how…inappropriate your behavior was last nyight," Nyon started off sternly.

"Nyon-baa, that's why I came here to find you. I need to ask you about what this means for…for my…" Hancock's voice broke a little and Nyon looked up at her face, hidden behind her scraggly hair. "For my relationship with Luffy."

"Psh. What relationship," Nyon spat bluntly. "I tried to tell you just how ridiculous your reaction was to such an insignyificant thing, but I'm sure Luffy-san was indeed put off by your…unladylike behavior."

Hancock's eyes glistened with tears. "It's not my fault. He…he did it to me! I didn't…"

"Hebihime-sama! You are missing the point of what I'm trying to say," Nyon said exhaustedly, sticking her staff in Hancock's quivering face. "That man saved your life, and nyot only do you disregard any gratitude you might owe him, you put on the most disgraceful performance of any empress I've ever seen in all my days. If Luffy-san had any interest in you as a bride before, it should have dissipated because of your childish behavior towards his first mate last nyight."

Hancock stared in utter shock at Nyon. After a few seconds, her face slowly broke down until she was sobbing pitifully, tears making her face red and splotchy. Nyon wondered if she had been too harsh as Hancock sank to the ground, the distraught lead in her own real life drama.

"LUFFY WILL_ NEVER_ WANT ME NOW THAT THAT _DISGUSTING_ MAN HAS TAKEN MY LIPS WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH~!"

"WHAT ABOUT ALL THE STUFF I JUST SAID TO YOU? WERE YOU EVEN LISTENING?"

"AND YOU…YOU _DRUGGED_ ME! BE GONE FROM MY PRESENCE. I DON'T EVEN WANT TO _LOOK_ AT YOU."

"WE DID NYOT _DRUG_ YOU, WE GAVE YOU _MEDICINE_ TO _SHUT YOU UP_ AND GET YOU TO _SLEEP_. YOUR SISTERS DID EVERYTHING THEY COULD TO CALM YOU. YOU WERE TRYING TO _KILL_ HIM! IF YOU WEREN'T SO FRAGILE IN THE MIND WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT YOU GOING CRAZY! AND _YOU_ CAME HERE LOOKING FOR _ME_, REMEMBER?"

"IF I CANNOT MARRY LUFFY BECAUSE OF THIS I WILL _DIE_. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY."

"HOW IS THIS MY FAULT YOU STUPID GIRL?"

They both stopped arguing abruptly, noticing the sound of giggling girls at the same time. It was up ahead of them, near where the cliffs of the island should have been. They looked at each other, then cautiously continued up the path, pushing away any extra foliage blocking their way. Once they realized the voices were coming from off the path, the trees got thicker and Hancock began to wonder if it was really worth not finishing her rant. The trees ended all at once, giving way to a small grassy clearing where a group of girls was standing at the edge of a cliff and looking down at something.

"Ladies, what seems to be the problem?" Nyon asked, walking up to the group curiously. The girls turned to see Hancock and they all went to scream joyously, but then caught themselves and silently showed their adoration by surrendering their eyes to the hearts she seemed to conjure naturally. Hancock frowned at their subdued affections, some of them pulling away from their worship quickly and going back to looking over the cliff edge.

"What's going on h-" The girls all waved their arms and gestured for her to quiet down, which enraged her. Who did they think they were telling her what to do? Hancock was definitely not in the mood for this. Why wasn't it easier to be kind? How did Luffy do it constantly? Hancock glowered at the girls, wondering how mad he'd get if she turned them all to stone. Maybe he'd never have to know...

"Hebihime-sama, we beg your pardon, but the man down there is really interesting. We want to observe him without being seen or he might go away."

The mention of a man made her forget about her urge to kill something. Could it be Luffy? Was Luffy down there?

_Did he…did he come looking for me? Is that why he's all the way out here? Maybe…maybe he wants to talk to me._

Her eyes shone with hopeful tears and she pushed her way through the cluster of girls to see for herself. She jerked to a stop and almost fell over the edge of the cliff when she saw who it was.

There, walking up the small stretch of beach dragging a large sea king, was Roronoa Zoro.

And he could not have been more naked.

* * *

Nami floated next to Robin and Margaret, her limbs going every which way like a jellyfish. Her outburst of shock in the bath had prompted Robin to restrain her with her arms until she'd calmed down, but it had made a scene so they left to talk somewhere else. They were currently walking through the streets looking for a place to eat breakfast. Margaret kept her head down, face hidden by wet hair. Robin could almost feel the heat radiating from her and knew she was probably beyond embarrassed.

"It's a very natural human instinct; wanting to do those things with men."

Margaret looked like Robin's voice had startled her out of a daze, but after a moment she just lowered her head further. Robin gave her a sympathetic look.

"I'm sorry I've made you uncomfortable, but it's really nothing to be ashamed of, Margaret-chan. As I said before, Senchou has probably awakened as a man because of you."

"Oh god, the way you say it, Robin, you make it sound like they've…wait. They…they didn't…" Nami came up between them and patted Margaret's head, looking to Robin in confused horror. "He…Luffy didn't…I mean…they couldn't have…with_ Luffy_?" The navigator's eyes sunk back into her head and she turned to Margaret with tears that were starting to form at the edges. "Oh my god, Margaret-chan…he didn't…to you…" She placed shaky hands on Margaret's shoulders so they were face to face. "Whatever that bastard did, we'll make sure he takes full responsibility."

Robin sighed. "You're always so dramatic, Nami-chan."

"I WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE IF YOU'D EXPLAIN THE GODDAMN SITUATION."

"They haven't 'done it' yet, as I believe you would say," Robin said calmly.

"YET? WHAT WAS THE 'YET' FOR? I'M STILL HAVING A HARD TIME BELIEVING LUFFY EVEN KNOWS HOW TO USE HIS OWN PENIS."

"He doesn't. At least not yet."

"WHY ALL THE 'YETS'? AM I SUPPOSED TO WANT HIM TO FIGURE SOMETHING LIKE THAT OUT? DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE LEVEL OF CATASTROPHE WE COULD BE FACING?"

Nami fisted her hair and let her eyes sink further, pupils shrinking as she thought about all the horrible possibilities.

"He doesn't have any restraint. If he figures out how to have sex, he'll impregnate every girl that lets him, and then what are we supposed to do? HUH? He wanders off, and soon we've got all these girls with moronic children that can do nothing but eat and stare at you. And when we find One Piece? What THEN, Robin? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT THEN…" Nami was practically foaming at the mouth. "As soon as we find One Piece, every single girl is going to want her cut, Robin. How much money does that leave us with, HUH? NOT ENOUGH, BECAUSE IT ALL BELONGS TO ME," she roared, thrusting a determined fist into the air. "LUFFY CAN REPRODUCE WHEN I'M GOOD AND DEAD."

Robin started a slow clap, her face completely expressionless. Margaret pet her snake absentmindedly.

"Robin-san, Nami-san…I'm not really sure what you're talking about, but you don't have to worry. I'm not…I'm not doing that…with Luffy anymore."

Robin raised her eyebrows. "Did it scare you, when he…well, you know…reacted?"

Margaret shook her head, smiling softly. "No, not at all. Luffy," she blushed hard and looked away. "Luffy felt good, so…I was really happy."

Robin looked over at Nami. They smiled at each other. Nami closed her eyes and sighed, walking over to Margaret and pushing her hair from her face. Margaret blinked.

"Baka. If you love him, then it's harder for me to make an argument," Nami said, beaming at her.

"L-love…" Margaret murmured glancing from one girl to the other. Robin nodded.

"When someone is very special to you, it makes you want to do the things you did with Luffy. If you're happy because he's happy…" Robin shrugged and smiled.

"Then you're definitely in love with him," Nami finished, putting her arm around Margaret and winking. Margaret felt faint.

"No! I-I can't love him! That's…" She brought her hands to her cheeks and her eyes widened to the size of saucers. "That's…Hebihime-sama is in love with Luffy! I couldn't possibly-"

"Hancock-san? You shouldn't worry about her," Robin chuckled. "Luffy barely notices the attention she gives him. But _you_…" One of Robin's arms appeared on Margaret and gently brought her hands from her face. "Senchou really seems to like you, for whatever reason. Maybe he's liked you since before our reunion. He was ecstatic to see you on the ship." Margaret fidgeted and Nami giggled at her shy behavior. Robin continued with a sly smile.

"And, he was dreaming about you this morning."

* * *

"He's so strong," one girl cooed, the entire group nodding in zombie like agreement.

Zoro, oblivious to the audience he had gathered, continued to fish without discretion. The women were in awe of the strange creature below them; the way his hair sparkled in the sun when he walked out of the water and didn't bother shaking any excess droplets from his rippling muscles. It was like he was of a completely different species. And certainly different from Luffy-san, whose build was more slight and whose personality was much less…intriguing. They all gasped in pleasant surprise every time he brought a new fish from the sea, some of them more fascinated with the foreign elements of his anatomy than his monstrous strength.

"It's bigger than Luffy-san's."

"So men have hair down there as well…"

Hancock heard the fuss they were making from the tree she was moping under a few yards away. She wished she had eaten something before she came. Throwing up might have been a useful way of portraying everything she was feeling at that very moment.

_Why is it always this moron? Why is he even up here? Why isn't it LUFFY? Why do I always have to go through these things? It's not fair. And why the hell is he NAKED?_

"I like his hair," another said.

"I like when he talks to himself. It's funny," one of the others laughed.

"I like his tight butt," Nyon-baa said, not bothering to hide her leering face.

Hancock whirled her head around and scowled at Nyon, who was already looking at her with a wicked grin. "This would be the perfect opportunity for you to apologize for your classless behavior, Hebihime-sama."

"As if I would EVER apologize to…to…THAT," Hancock spat, walking over and pointing in Zoro's general direction. 'That' had climbed onto a large boulder and was sprawled out, basking in the increasingly bright morning sun. Hancock stole another peek at his naked body and blushed before turning up her nose. Nyon was slightly amused.

"You realize this is completely separate from your fall in the pond. You still owe him your life. Learning how to be humble will be a valuable lesson for you to learn," the old woman said thoughtfully. "You're too old to be doing these stupid, childish things. Apologizing will not kill you."

"YES it WILL," Hancock argued vehemently. " I CANNOT and WILL NOT apologize to that man. He deserved everything I gave to him," she said glaring at Nyon. "And, thanks to you and my sisters, I'll never have the satisfaction of knowing how close I was to killing him."

"Oh ho ho, that young man took a couple slaps from you, but as you can see it didn't do any real damage," Nyon said stealing another glance at Zoro. "So really, the only thing you seem to have given him is the first kiss of the most beautiful woman in the world," she said dryly. "It seems it might have been best for all of us to just leave you in the pond."

Hancock wanted to kick Nyon. She really did. But the old hag had been right on all accounts. Zoro looked unscathed, save the scars he already had, and Hancock was currently wondering if it would be worth killing herself to see Luffy distraught over her death. And her first kiss…

She touched her hand to her lips and hot tears threatened to fall from her eyes. It would have been better to go on not knowing what a kiss meant. She turned from Nyon and stomped back over to her tree. She noticed a grotesquely adorable looking puppy in her path, as if it had materialized out of nowhere. She growled and kicked it with all the force she could muster. It flew over the side of the cliff, and the girls stared in horror as it fell to its imminent death. Some of them turned to chastise her, so she flashed a half assed smile and was forgiven instantly. Hancock didn't care. It was her against the world. Luffy wouldn't even look at her, men with green hair were ruining her life, old women with wrinkles were telling her what to do. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't-

She heard the group gasp and then start cheering loudly, making her wonder if the stupid swordsman really couldn't hear them. Was he deaf? Did he just like it when girls looked at him? That would just be perfect, wouldn't it. How could Luffy stand it? If there was any good in Roronoa Zoro she had yet to-

"Who's the moron who dropped this," she heard a familiar voice call from below. She cringed within herself.

"Look! He caught it! I'm so happy it's not hurt!"

"Thank you, Swordsman-san~! That was super cool!"

"Hebihime-sama slipped and the dog was in the way! Thank you for saving it!"

"It was an accident, Swordsman-san! If you could bring it back up-"

"All of you shut up," came his chilling command. The women went silent, all of them shocked at his tone.

"Hancock. I know you're there," he yelled. "Don't move. I'm coming up."

"SHUT UP. AS IF I'D LISTEN TO ANYTHING YOU SAY," she screamed, stalking furiously over to the edge of the cliff. He couldn't be- oh. Yep. He was climbing up the cliff. Anger boiled inside her and threatened to explode into whatever rash action she decided to take next. And the way he said her name…with so little respect or regard for her position as a higher authority. Was he some kind of moron? It was almost too perfect. She pushed her finger to her lips and sneered, aiming directly at him.

"Pistol Kiss," she muttered. A haki imbued shot rang out and Zoro winced as it embedded itself in his shoulder, making him lose his grip on the rocks momentarily. Hancock watched him with silent contempt, impressed that he didn't cry out or anything. She hadn't been holding back. Then her eyes went wide when she realized why.

In order to be able to climb the cliff with his full range of motion, he had the dog hanging by the scruff of its neck between his teeth. To cry out would mean letting it fall back to the beach. Hancock stood watching him continue to climb, her lips parted in a half gape, a feeling of guilt taking root in her gut. Everyone stepped back a little when he finally reached the top, spitting the dog out and trying to spit out the hairs it had left in his mouth after he'd pulled himself up. Hancock narrowed her eyes when he finally decided to look at her.

"Do you have something to say," she said curtly.

He nodded and stood up. "Yeah. I just wanted to tell you to stop making my life a living hell."

"That's not what I meant."

"Then say what you mean. Before I get pissed."

She leaned back until she was looking down on him to the point of looking up. Her nail pointed at him in the highest degree of disapproval. "You are in the company of women, and yet you have the audacity to present yourself in such a way. Apologize."

Zoro blinked, then looked down at himself. He looked over at the group of women, some of them giggling. He turned red and looked toward the beach where he'd left his clothes. "…Shit."

"ARE YOU SOME KIND OF IDIOT? YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE YOU FORGOT YOU WERE NAKED?"

"LISTEN LADY," He started. "WHO'S THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE APOLOGIZING? I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ANYONE ELSE WAS HERE." He pointed at her, glaring suspiciously. "YOU were the one SPYING on ME."

Hancock gripped her chest and stared at him in horror. "As if I would EVER want to see you…" She gestured at him refusing to look. "Like…like…THAT."

"Give me my robe then." He held out his hand expectantly.

There was an eerie silence that fell over everyone. Hancock had completely forgotten about the fact that she had not changed out of the robe yet. Underneath it, she was completely naked, which made the girls a little wary.

"Should we leave? If Hebihime-sama takes off her clothes then…"

"We'll be turned to stone!"

"The Gorgon's Eyes! We'll all die!"

Zoro narrowed his eyes and glanced at them. "What are they talking about?"

"It's none of your business," Hancock muttered, glaring at him dangerously.

"Swordsman-san, please! If Hebihime-sama takes off her clothes, we'll all die!" The girls wailed. "The Gorgon's Eyes on her back! They'll turn us to stone!"

Zoro looked at her suspiciously.

_Was that what I saw? It definitely just looked like a burn mark._

His eyes widened at the look she was giving him; her eyes were hard, like she was trying to tell him something. Her fists were balled at her sides. It seemed she remembered him seeing it before too.

He opened his mouth to say something and before he could even blink, she was at his side with her hand at his mouth. He gasped as they stumbled backwards a little, afraid they'd topple over the edge. She caught herself and leaned into his ear. He felt her other hand on his neck. She was shaking.

"Please don't say anything."

To have this woman beg him to do _anything_ was both intriguing and enraging. She'd been a bitch this entire time (to him in particular), and it hadn't even been twenty-four hours since they'd met. She goes and almost dies, and then freaks out on him for administering CPR, embarrassing him in front of all his friends by, of all things, handing his ass to him. He was having nightmares about her _eating_him for fuck's sake. Telling her off seemed to be the best option. If she was self conscious about some stupid burn mark on her back, it wasn't that big a deal to let her keep the robe a little longer. He felt her lean more into him and noticed her breathing was ragged.

"Oi, you can get off me now-"

Her body slipped off of him and fell over the edge of the cliff, time seemingly slowing to an impossible crawl as her unconscious body plunged toward water.

Hancock couldn't remember when the world went black or when the wind whipping her face had woken her back up, but somewhere in between she had a sense that someone had already grabbed her and was holding her to him…

_Him?_

Her eyes could barely open, but she felt it anyway. How she could tell was a mystery, since it wasn't like she'd been awake the last time he'd had to save her. For some reason though, whether it was from the initial feeling that she was going to die or something else, she recognized it as his hold on her, and let him pull her to him. And, maybe it was just her imagination or from the lack of oxygen going to her brain, but it almost felt like she had clung to him before they reached the water.

And, even crazier, those last few moments before she blacked out again were spent wondering at why she felt so safe.

* * *

"I am NEVER drinking ANYTHING these people give us AGAIN," Usopp groaned, walking through the streets with Franky, Brook and Chopper to get food. By now it would be considered an early lunch if anything, since the natives had pretty much been up and starting their day for awhile now. They got used to the giggling and whispering that happened when they walked past. It would have been easy to feel like a celebrity had their heads not been pounding still.

"My brain feels like it will explode," Brook started. "Except, I have no brain. YOHOHOHO-" Franky punched him as the laughter started, any more noise than necessary instantly pissing him off.

"I can understand you guys, but what about me," Chopper whined. "I didn't even drink a ton. And I had water too."

"Psh. Real pirates don't drink water when they get drunk," Usopp said. "What a baby."

"I am NOT a baby," Chopper protested.

"Everyone SHUT UP," Franky said, his smaller hands coming out of his huge ones to smash into each other, like the next person who yelled would be sent flying. The threat worked and everyone was silent for a time.

"So…Luffy-san likes girls," Brook started. Everyone stopped in their tracks to stare at him incredulously.

"Do we have to talk about this right now, Brook," Usopp said. He had actually been thinking about this for awhile, but out loud it was a nuisance.

"Well, it is rather surprising. I sort of thought he might be interested in men," the skeleton continued. "Though, I have no eyes to see what he might show interest-"

"Please continue the joke. I dare you," Franky said dangerously. Brook hid behind Usopp.

"Is it so farfetched that he'd like men?" Usopp said with a hint of defensiveness in his voice. Chopper tried to calm them all down.

"Guys! Stop this! We're all tired, we're all hungry, let's just wait until later to talk about this. In any case," the reindeer fixed his hat on his antlers more securely. "I'd actually like to talk to both him and Margaret-chan if I get the chance…"

"MARGARET," Franky guffawed. "We keep talking about a girl named Margaret, and we're not even sure what this means for us. Do we even know who she is?"

"I do," Chopper piped up. "She's the one that saved Sanji."

"Margaret…" Usopp mused for a moment, glaring into space. "She wouldn't happen to have blonde hair would she?"

"Yes! How did you know that?" Chopper asked curiously.

"I saw her grab his balls yesterday," the sniper said bluntly. Everyone stared at him. "I believe you were there as well, Chopper."

"Chopper-san grabbed Luffy-san's balls? What?" Franky punched Brook into a wall without even looking.

"This might be more serious than I initially thought," Chopper said worriedly. "Not to mention we couldn't find Sanji in the palace."

"He's probably just mingling with the locals," Usopp muttered.

They all came upon the general dining hall and recognized the obnoxious yelling voice of their captain emanating from inside. They all grimaced.

"Guess we know where we're eating now."

"Do you think they have any food left?" Usopp asked.

"Mellorine~" Came the familiar mating call of their cook.

They all stared at the building. Then at each other.

"We should just walk away. Right now," Chopper said witheringly.

"We should. But we're not going to." Usopp said quietly.

"Because we're idiots." Franky finished.

Brook's laughter was muffled with his face stuck in the wall.

* * *

"SANJI! MORE FOOD!"

"SHUT UP, SHITTY CAPTAIN! I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU," Sanji said joyously, prancing through row after row of feasting amazon's carrying tray's of food. Some of them reached out to touch him. It was like some sort of unbelievable dream. Luffy screamed from the other side of the room, girls stretching his skin when he wasn't looking.

"SANJI! I NEED MORE!"

"SHUT UP STUPID RUBBERMAN!"

"Sanji-san! The order is up!" One of the regular cooks called from the kitchen, smiling warmly. Sanji waved.

"Yes, my sweet! I will be right over!"

Luffy glowered at his cook, food still packed in his cheeks. He then whirled on the girls that were creeping on him, who immediately giggled and went back to eating. He sunk his teeth into some meat and stared at the wall, still trying to figure out why everything was making him so irritated. Well, it probably had something to do with the guys.

_Tch. Jerks. They're all a bunch of jerks._

He had been happily enjoying his favorite dream where he was on Meat Island (he came up with the name all by himself), and had just gotten done with the Forest of Bacon (another original naming), when Margaret had showed up to play. She was all shiny and smiley and stuff, and had looked extra pretty in her meat dress…

_Meat dress..._

Luffy slowed his chewing, remembering all the fun things they'd done. She'd let him eat the meat dress off of her, and then she'd done that special thing from the day before. It had felt so nice. Her hands, all over his body…then down to his 'thing'…and she'd rubbed it for as long as he wanted…and she made noises…and let him touch her…

His eyes glazed over and he let his lips cease their attack on the meat in his hands.

And then, _ever so slowly_, she'd lowered her lips to the very tip and-

_And then Zoro started screaming like a girl. Jeeeeerk._

"Shitty captain, if I'm expected to serve you food ever again, kindly stop making out with it. I know my cooking's good, but show your appreciation by _eating it_," Sanji said, blowing smoke in Luffy's face when he didn't immediately take his lips off the meat. Luffy coughed and frowned up at him.

Yep. Sanji was a jerk too.

* * *

"Robin you _sneak_! So, then what did he say? Did he say what they'd been _doing_ in his dream?" Nami chuckled, Margaret trying not to have a mental breakdown next to her.

"Fufufu, well, I didn't catch the whole thing. Just enough to know that-"

"You didn't catch _what_, Robin," Usopp asked dryly, raising an eyebrow in knowing. He and the rest of the guys were currently trying to get Brook out of the wall, Franky having to jack hammer his head free. Of course he had equipped his body with a jackhammer, just for this sort of occasion. The girls turned in surprise.

"Usopp! What are you guys doing here," Nami asked. Usopp noticed the girl from yesterday next to her and his jaw dropped.

"We finally got him out, Usopp, we can-" Usopp took his hand and positioned Chopper's little head so he could see Margaret in front of them. Chopper's eyes widened happily.

"Margaret-chan!" He yelled, and then stopped, realizing why Usopp had pointed her out. Margaret smiled and waved shyly.

"Not much, Sniper-kun, I just happened to hear some tidbits from your…interesting conversation with Senchou this morning," Robin said smiling pleasantly. Nami smirked at all of them and flung an arm around Margaret. Margaret looked at the ground.

"Well, um, so…" Chopper squirmed uncomfortably, trying to figure out what this meant. "So…does Margaret-chan…um…" He looked to Robin for help.

"She's grabbed his balls," Usopp repeated. "I'm sure we're past the point of subtlety's here."

"We did have a little girl talk," Robin confirmed, putting a hand on Margaret's shoulder. Nami nodded and gave them the 'ok' sign. Franky and Brook finally decided to join them all.

"Who is this," Brook asked politely, gesturing at Margaret.

"That's _her_," Usopp said with annunciation on 'her'.

"Her…who?" Franky asked.

"The one that will show me her panties?" Brook asked. Franky went to punch him and he scurried away. They all looked at the dining hall again, another loud yell from Luffy reaching their ears and making them fearful for what was happening inside. Margaret's heart raced at an unprecedented rate.

"The one that makes Luffy hot," Nami stage whispered across the space between them. Margaret tilted her head and blushed, not really knowing why. Making him hot…what did _that_ mean?

"MARGARET? YOU'RE MARGARET?" Franky asked incredulously.

Robin and Nami posed smugly around their new friend. "Yep. And now that we're all acquainted, it's our job to make sure Luffy doesn't fuck this up," Nami said with fondness.

"His first love interest," they both said at the same time, winking. Then all three of them walked into the hall together. The guys stood gaping at them for a few minutes, even after they'd already gone inside. Franky pushed his sunglasses back down to cover his eyes.

"Hot damn. She's a _knockout_," He murmured.

"Well…I guess she is kinda pretty," Usopp grumbled.

"She's moved one hell of a mountain, _that's_ for damn sure," the cyborg said, walking after the girls. "I've gotta see this myself-"

Suddenly, there were shrieks and loud gasps heard from inside, prompting them all to start running to see what had happened.

* * *

At first he'd only seen Robin and Nami walk in, their flawless silhouettes making their way towards a table in the corner. In that moment though, that perfect moment where they had both sat down to reveal the beautiful creature behind them-

And then she moved. And her hair, fluffy and wild and golden moved with her, revealing the face of an angel. His angel. The person destiny had meant for him to find and make his. A string, that shining string of fate had finally brought them together. He stared upon her as a sinner does on the blinding light of God in their last moment of life. The eyes; so kind and clear, longing to be looked into and so eager to gaze on things with the love that freely pumped through her veins. Shining, her free spirit piercing his very soul and making him weak at the knees. The body; so frail, yet gorgeously athletic, a warrior at heart but a woman everywhere else. And those _breasts_…

Sanji dropped the tray he was holding, suddenly not giving a damn about anything else. It fell with a crash and everything on it cascaded onto his shitty captain's head. He walked, ignoring the angry verbal threats the stupid rubber man was undoubtedly giving him. But that bosom. It called to him. And nothing else mattered. His dreams…they were going to be reality, for here she stood before him.

He silently stared at her as he strode across the space between them, a man not afraid of anything. He briefly acknowledged that Nami and Robin were speaking as he continued making his way to them, never taking his eyes off of her. They gestured to the goddess before him, a name was given…

_Margaret._

"Margaret," he whispered, his organ's quivering with the utterance of something so sacred. The angel spoke, held out her hand in greeting, smiled warmly. Oh, sun, take your beams back to whence they came, for this, this…

Sanji took her hand, gazing unwaveringly into those brilliant almond eyes and slowly pulled her to him. Before anyone had a chance to breathe another word, he was lowering his cheek to her chest, breathing in the feminine scent. He could've stayed there for all of time. He heard Nami question his actions loudly, possibly preparing to beat the shit out of him. But, what could be more natural than this? This was destiny, right here.

"Margaret-chan," he said in a voice filled with manly desire, "my name is Sanji. And if you'll have me, I intend to make you my bride."

And then, in front of everyone in the hall, in front of the rest of the crew who had just barged in after hearing screams in reaction to his boob molestation, in front of God, and in front of Luffy, he swept her up in a passionate kiss.


	7. Beaten To The Punch

**A/N: **_The Butterfly Kiss I give Hancock in this story is made up, but I thought it would be a nice touch. Please enjoy~_

* * *

**Suppressed**

**Ch. 7: Beaten to the Punch**

* * *

Something smelled really good.

_Stupid woman…wake up..._

Delicious in fact. If Hancock's eye lids were willing to cooperate, she would have liked to open them to see what smelled so good.

_Stupid wooooman~…_

It was probably fish. Yes, that was what it was. Maybe Luffy had brought her some fish to eat…

_Stupid. Woman._

What was this annoying sound…

_STUPID WOM-_

Hancock sat up with a start, her head smashing into Zoro's jaw. He flew backwards a few feet and cursed the day, pounding his fists into the surrounding sand. Hancock ignored him and whimpered, bringing a hand to her own head.

"Goddamn spaz woman…" He murmured, pushing himself up to a standing position and glaring down at her. "Why do I always have to put up with this shit…"

"What are you muttering to yourself over there, creepy swordsman," Hancock sneered, flinging a handful of sand at his leg. "If you keep talking to yourself someone might think you're not right in the head."

"At least there'd be speculation where I'm concerned," He started, walking casually back over to the fire he'd built. "You're already a fucking lunatic. Anything you do now is just reinforcement."

She reached for a shoe to throw and came up empty. Glaring at her feet like they were to blame, she buried them in the sand and growled through her teeth. Her eyes wandered over to his stupid self. At least he had pants on now.

"Here." She was startled from her observation of him by his voice, speaking an invitation to take the fish he held in his hands. "Eat this." The look in his eye wasn't particularly kind, but she was surprised he was offering in the first place. She attempted to get up from the ground and walk over to him, but found she was shaky in doing so. She nearly collapsed again when she finally stood up straight. He didn't rush over, but held out an arm for her to steady herself.

"That's what you get for not eating anything and then freaking out all the time."

He shoved the food in her hand and left her to take care of herself. She glared after him and plopped back in the sand, the fish warming her hands. When he got back over to the fire, he turned to see how she was progressing. A vein popped out on his forehead when he noticed that, after a few minutes of watching her just sit there, she hadn't even attempted to eat.

"Oi. Are you stupid or something? If you don't eat, your blood sugar…"

He let his statement trail off. Her eyes had glazed over and it didn't look like she was listening anyway.

_The things I do for…who the hell am I doing this for, anyway…_

He stalked over to where she sat and plopped down next to her, grabbing the fish from her hand. She simply stared at him.

"This, here? This is how you _eat_," he said in a sarcastic tone, slowly putting a small piece in his own mouth. "Now you try."

She apparently still had enough strength to slap him. He held a hand to the red mark on his cheek, trying to contain his rage.

"Get away from me," Hancock hissed, snatching the fish back from him but making no move to eat it. Zoro ignored her.

"Eat the goddamn fish before I shove it down your throat," he commanded. He had gotten these fish for the stupid cook in the first place. Letting this woman waste any of his precious ingredients would be unacceptable. At least if Zoro wanted to get through their time on this island without excessive bitching.

"I said go away," she yelled, turning her back so she was facing out to the sea. She was too tired to punch him now.

"If you don't eat, you won't be able to walk by yourself," he said bluntly. "I'll have to carry you."

"I don't need you."

"Fine."

He stood up and walked once more to the fire, taking a stick and biting some of the meat on it. He glanced over at her. She had taken a piece of fish and was holding it between two fingers, staring at it longingly. Her hands were shaking. Realization crept into his brain: She was too weak to feed herself.

_OH for the LOVE of…_

He threw the stick to the side in frustration, muttering more curses to himself. She watched him stalk back over to her, then plop down so they were face to face. Before she could protest, he had the fish in his hands, and had shoved a piece into her mouth for her.

"Chew," he said dangerously, daring her to do anything else. She spit the fish in his face and gagged.

"Your fingers touched that. As if I would-"

She was cut off by her own speechlessness as she stared into the eyes of satan himself. The pure, unadulterated murderous intent oozing from Roronoa Zoro was beyond overwhelming. Even as an empress, even as one of the seven warlords…for a fleeting moment, she thought he might really kill her.

He lifted one hand to wipe the fish shrapnel from his face. Then without a word of warning, he took her into his arms with neither care nor gentleness, and marched with intent back to the fire.

"LET ME DOWN YOU BRUTE."

"Shut up."

She hesitated before saying anything more, he had said it with such intensity. He didn't bother looking at her, just stared straight ahead with that furrowed brow.

_This man…he doesn't even possess the King's Haki..._

Before she could process what was happening, he had dumped her ass back on the ground and set her against a rock.

"Don't move," he ordered. She did as she was told, more because she lacked strength than because of her desire to listen to him. He came back to her with a different piece of fish and unceremoniously positioned himself in her lap. She narrowed her eyes to slits.

"What is this. You actually dare to put your disgusting personage in my line of vision? Get off of me, impudent-"

"Last chance. Eat." He shoved the kabob under her nose and sighed exasperatedly when she refused. Her upturned nose was beginning to be his least favorite sight on the planet.

"Fine," he said cooly. "You asked for it."

She opened her eyes and blinked in confusion, seeing him bite down on the fish himself. He set the rest of it next to them and pressed his palms to the rock's surface, leaning in so that his face was inches from hers.

"W-what are you…" Her voice trailed off gazing into his eye. He smirked, cheek bulged a bit from the food.

"Feeding you," he muttered, as if it were obvious. He brought one of his hands to her face, brushing his thumb across her lower lip and pushing down to create an opening. Slowly, slowly, he lowered his face to hers.

Hancock prepared herself, completely at a loss. She knew she should punch him, but she wasn't willing to put in the effort. It was like she was frozen under his scrutiny. Her eyes shut tight when she felt his hot breath on her lips, a strange anticipation taking over.

There was a thick moment of tension before she finally felt the fish being shoved in. Her eyes flew open to see him remove his finger from her mouth for the second time. She blushed furiously when she realized she had been tricked. He threw his head back and laughed.

"There's no way in hell I'm carrying you any more than I have to. Consider eating a small price to pay."

"Shut up, stupid swordsman," Hancock muttered through her chewing, attempting to push him off of her.

"Just sit tight." Zoro got off and walked over to a smaller rock where his tank top had been drying. He pulled it on. "That old lady asked me to talk with you about something."

_Stupid Nyon. Butting into things that aren't hers to be concerned about..._

"She said you'd do something for me because I've had to save you so many times."

Hancock didn't bother hiding her annoyance.

"Yes? And what would you have me do," she asked. "Sleep with you, perhaps? How original. Maybe promise to be your eternal love slave?"

Zoro's eye twitched. "As if I'd want that. You'd first have to become desirable."

Hancock threw the stick he'd discarded earlier at his head. He dodged and glared at her.

"I am the most beautiful woman in the _world_," she said matter-of-factly. "Any man would _give_ the world to be able to have that choice." Correction: Any man but the one she wanted. Her self esteem plummeted at having to admit that to herself. Zoro noticed the negative vibes emanating from her, but decided to ignore them.

"So you're saying you'd sleep with me if I asked you to?"

"Of _course_ not," she scoffed. "So don't think anything of it."

"I wasn't," he said, chuckling.

"Then you must have something else in mind," she prodded. "You do have that enormous debt to pay your navigator. Now would be the opportune time to ask me to let you be my servant."

"AS IF I'D ASK FOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT," he bellowed. She frowned, then shrugged.

"Fine. I suppose if it's money you want-"

"I don't want your money," he said simply.

"Then spit it out. My skin will blister in this heat. We should head back to Luff- er…the palace," she said.

"In that case, I'll come out with it," he started, crossing his arms and giving her a serious look. "I need you…to give me a nosebleed," he said cautiously.

* * *

Nami didn't know whether to laugh or not. She didn't know what was what anymore. Everything was just…out the window.

At first, she had known what to do. This was routine for her and Robin. But to attack the unsuspecting Margaret-chan was too much. Fists at the ready and Robin half way through her Seis Fleur chant, they were both stopped dead in their tracks by two things.

The first being the fact that they were too late in their damage control. Sanji was normally harmless, merely using himself as a tool to please the women in any way he (or they) saw fit. Instead, this time he had almost done the opposite. They hadn't expected the cheek-to-breast stunt, and had prepared accordingly with the usual response. But instead of giving them that pause for effect, he'd smashed his lips so dramatically into hers that Nami had only thought to admire how thorough he was in technique. And, since his neck hadn't been twisted yet, she could assume Robin was thinking something similar. Had they ever seen Sanji actually kiss a girl? Where did the smoke and mirrors end?

The second thing, was that somewhere between Sanji's public display of affection and everyone else's shock at what had just happened, Margaret had flipped Sanji onto his back and put a dagger to his throat.

"Don't move," she'd said in a low, chilling voice. And maybe it wasn't just Sanji. Nobody wanted to move. Hell, Nami looked at the slits that used to be Margaret's big, innocent eyes and didn't feel like _breathing_ anymore.

"M-Margaret-chan," Robin tried to say soothingly, "Cook-san didn't mean any harm. That was merely his way of greeting you."

Maragret slowly came out of huntress mode and removed the knife from Sanji's throat. His cigarette sat a few feet away, smoke curling from the tip.

"He tasted funny," she murmured. "I thought he was poisoning me."

There was a long, awkward silence. Sanji blinked from his place on the floor, still unsure of how he should collect himself after such an unexpected reaction. He blushed at her comment, alluding to his smoking habit being something undesirable. He frowned at the ceiling, hearing someone's distinct snickering from over by the door.

_Usopp, I'll kill you..._

Usopp didn't seem to care that Sanji's death glare was now being directed at him. Slowly, and with less reserve the further on down the line they got, the other guys joined him as his laughter went from restrained, to uproarious.

"OI! SANJI!"

The laughter was cut short by a sudden cry from across the hall. Luffy stood on top of the table where he'd been sitting, glaring at everyone through the veil of noodles sticking to his hat. He took slow deliberate steps over the other tables to get to where everyone had crowded around his cook.

"What the hell are you playing at," he said in a low voice, eyes hard from underneath the hat's brim. He pushed the shirt sleeve of his punching arm up to his bicep. Sanji stood up and dusted himself off, giving his captain an annoyed look.

"Nothing you'd understand, shitty rubber man," he replied, digging in his pockets for a pack of smokes. Luffy's eyes widened and without hesitation, he grabbed Sanji by his shirt collar and pulled him down so they were at eye level with each other.

"Nothing I'd understand, huh," he said gruffly.

The rest of the crew started to catch on to what was going on. Nami's lips curled into a smile.

_Of COURSE! Why didn't I think of this before? Of course Luffy'd get jealous! This is so perfect. _

She glanced over at Robin, who acknowledged that she was thinking the same thing with a sly smile. They both looked over at Margaret, who was looking on confusedly at the potentially violent scene. Everyone else watched with interest. What would Luffy do now? Was he going to kick Sanji's ass? Was it wrong to kind of hope so?

_Beat him good, Mugiwara,_ Franky silently encouraged, flashing a thousand watt smile and resisting the urge to pose.

_Standing up for your lady friend is only basic if you expect her to let you view her panties,_ Brooke mused to himself.

_Wait, wasn't Sanji's face just on boobs? Where's the nosebleed?_ Chopper inwardly tortured himself, eyes bugging out with curiosity.

_Are you really jealous, Luffy?_ Usopp wondered, slightly peeved.

"Nothing I'd understand…nothing I'd understand…nothing I'd understand," Luffy murmured to himself over and over again like a mad man, the fist balled in Sanji's shirt shaking with frustration. Finally he lifted his head and screamed, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME? DO YOU SEE THIS?"

He pointed at the noodles on his hat.

"I COULD HAVE EATEN THESE NOODLES AND YOU JUST GO AND DUMP THEM ON MY HEAD YOU ASSHOLE. _ASSHOOOOOLE_~" He repeated for emphasis, pressing his forehead to Sanji's. Everyone else (except Robin) fell over.

"**THAT'S** WHAT YOU WERE PISSED ABOUT?"

* * *

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT, DAMMIT," Zoro called, nursing his bruised face as he watched Hancock stagger up the beach.

"I suppose I don't have the proper amount of strength at this point in time to grant your request properly," she called back at him bitterly. "I assure you, as soon as I get back to the palace and rest up a bit, I'll make time in my exceedingly busy schedule to fulfill my promise to you."

"It doesn't even count if you do it wrong," he responded, cursing under his breath. Much more of this abuse and he'd probably end up being grateful for Nami...

"Oh, please enlighten me," Hancock called with fake interest, "on the many other ways of obtaining a nosebleed, you MOSS HEADED _son of a bitch_. Because the way I see it, the only appropriate way to give_ you_ one is by cutting off your nose." She flipped her scraggly hair over her shoulder, the tail of the robe dragging through the sand.

"Charming," Zoro yelled. "REALLY charming."

"Who needs charm when you look like this," Hancock purred, turning to look at him and opening her arms in a casual shrug. One shoulder of the robe was falling to reveal a piece of sea weed stuck to her half exposed breast.

"Right," the swordsman said, rolling his eyes.

"You know, I don't like you," Hancock said with finality, as if she hadn't already decided that. Zoro stared at her.

"Well I'd certainly hope you don't treat the people you _like_ this way."

"I only like Luffy."

"How lucky for him. Sorry, but I'm afraid that hardly counts as an accomplishment. It's hard to _not_ like Luffy," he grumbled, turning away from her.

"You can't have him. He's mine."

"I DON'T WANT HIM."

Hancock gave him a suspicious look and watched him go back to his earlier task, which was cutting the meat of another sea king from the bone. She sighed, contemplating her next course of action.

"If you wait a little while I'll take you back to the palace," he called.

"I don't need your help."

"Of course you don't."

She stood there awkwardly for a moment, watching him work. When he moved so his back was toward her, something underneath his shirt caught her eye.

_It's all red…_

Her eyes widened, remembering the reason they were here in the first place. She stared unblinkingly at the angry redness, wondering why he hadn't said anything up to this point. Taking into consideration the height they fell from and the calmness of the water…

_It was probably equivalent to falling into a stone building…_

It was hard to admit, but she was helpless in the water. Even if it _had_ been his fault they fell in the first place, he had saved her life. Again. And now, looking at his wounds, she felt guilty wondering why he had gone to such lengths to prevent any additional injury to her. Why wasn't he saying anything? Did it not hurt as bad as it looked? No, that couldn't be it.

_It's probably just coincidence…_

He shifted his position and she got a nice view of the purple bruise her pistol kiss had left as well, some of the wound spreading towards the red on his back. She grit her teeth, conflicted feelings making her want to kick something again.

_If it's something like this, it should be fine..._

He paused in his cutting to turn slightly, feeling her presence right behind him.

"Hm? Something wrong?" He asked. She sighed.

"Turn around."

He gave her a questioning look, then did as he was told. She lifted the shirt fabric so the whole wound was revealed to her and touched an index finger to her lips.

"Butterfly Kiss," she whispered, touching the finger between his shoulder blades. He winced and made a move to look back at what she was doing.

"Stay still," she ordered, moving the finger across the entire area of redness. "It will feel better in a minute."

Again, he did as he was told and waited, feeling some anxiety at not understanding what she was doing. Then, after a few moments of silent anticipation, he felt the burning sensation subside, being replaced with an icy one.

"Haki is an incredibly fascinating phenomenon," Hancock said quietly. "It can be harnessed in a variety of ways."

"You," he said incredulously, "You can _heal_ me?"

"It would be shameful to have Luffy's first mate in anything but good condition," she said matter-of-factly. "Unfortunately I'm not a doctor, so this is more of a pain killer than a treatment. This, however," she moved so she was kneeling in front of him, frowning at the bruise, "I can fix this. Because I made it."

Zoro didn't say anything, but watched her place a hand over the bruise.

"I've only ever done this for myself," she admitted. "I'm not sure how it will effect you."

"Oh. That's reassuring," he said sarcastically, looking up at the sky. She decided to ignore his attitude and lowered her face to his shoulder-

"Wait. What the hell are you doing," Zoro asked, warily. Hancock glared.

"I believe we've already established that I'm healing you, you ungrateful-"

"No. I mean, you used your finger last time, right? Why-"

"The blood vessels on your back are broken because you fell from great heights into flat water," she explained dryly. "The blood vessels here are broken because fragments of Haki have punctured your flesh. If I had been serious, it would have just been a matter of turning you to stone. But because of your relationship with Luffy…" She gave him an annoyed look and sighed. "Look, if I don't take them out, you cannot hope to heal as well as you normally would."

"…Wait…so you have to suck it out…like poison?"

"…I suppose you could say that."

_A hickey. She's going to give me a hickey. _

Zoro didn't know how he felt about this. Here he was, just your average guy trying to go about his day without crazy chicks ruining it. His day had pretty much already been ruined, and here he was with a crazy chick on top of him. But if the crazy chick was_ extremely_ _attractive_…well, at least by society's standards...

Zoro glanced at Hancock, who was eyeing him suspiciously, waiting for him to say something.

_The hottest woman in the world is about to give me a hickey. Why am I over thinking this._

He thought about the events that had taken place that morning. He paled, wondering if this was perhaps his chance to regain some of his manhood. A chance he could not afford to pass up. And Sanji would be crawling in his skin…

_It's not a nosebleed, but it'll have to do._

"Ok, lady," he finally said, moving his neck a little so she had better access to his shoulder. "Do your worst."

* * *

"YOU'RE THE WORST," Nami roared, dragging a confused and battered Luffy out of the dining hall and into the streets. Robin walked briskly behind her with a concerned expression.

"Navigator-san, you're being rash. Luffy doesn't understand what you're-"

"DAMN STRAIGHT I DON'T UNDERSTAND," he yelled, tugging his shirt free of her grasp and dusting himself off. "What the hell is everyone's PROBLEM today? I can't even eat withou-"

He received a swift roundhouse kick to the face and flew into a roadside cart, surprising the owner. Most of the women inside the hall had moved to watch the fight and cringed when he impacted.

"WHAT KIND OF MAN ARE YOU," Nami screeched, fist shaking with anger.

"GET HIM, NAMI-SWAAAAN~" Sanji cheered from the top of the stairs, clutching Margaret's waist possessively. She looked exceedingly unsure of what to do.

"And YOU," Nami seethed, whirling on the cook and stomping her way up the stairs towards him, "Do you even know what you've DONE?"

Sanji paled, gulping with a mix of horror and masochistic excitement as Nami fisted his shirt in the same fashion Luffy had a few moments earlier. She stared at him with all the loveliness of the Grudge.

"Stealing a girl's first kiss. I really didn't think that was your style, _Sanji-kun_," she said with quiet malice. "Apparently that's another thing I'll have to beat out of you."

"Navigator-san, please. You're making a scene," Robin said with more assertion.

"BEAT HIM GOOD, NAMI-NEE," Franky bawed from one of the glassless windows of the hall.

"THOSE PANTIES ARE FOR LUFFY-SAN'S EYES ALONE," Brook agreed, waving his cane. "AND PERHAPS MINE. THOUGH I HAVE NO EYES TO SEE."

Usopp gave Brook a withering look and folded his arms, watching Luffy crawl out of the cart rubble. Chopper looked back and forth between crew mates with a worried look on his face.

Luffy lifted his hat silently and placed it back on his head, looking around at all of them as he walked back. His eyes fell on Margaret and he blinked.

"Eh? Margaret, when did you get here?"

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" Nami leaped on him and started wringing his neck. Robin sighed and called forth arms to restrain her loose cannon of a friend.

"This is the most anti-climactic love feud I've ever seen," Usopp said bluntly. Franky nodded in disappointed agreement.

Luffy rushed past the struggling Nami and climbed the stairs to Margaret, looking relieved.

"Margaret, thank god. I was just about to go look for you," he began, stopping on a stair in front of her, "I'm begging you. I need you…I _need_ you to do it again." He clasped his hands together and tried giving her the same pathetic look he gave Sanji when he wanted meat.

"I already told you I'm not doing it anymore," she said, frowning. "You act weird. I don't like it."

Sanji narrowed his eyes. "Oi. Shitty captain. Stop bothering Margaret-chan. The stupid swordsman should be back with the fish soon, so I'll get you food in a little while."

Luffy ignored Sanji and grabbed Margaret's hand. She looked surprised but he smiled reassuringly at her. She blushed.

"Don't worry," his voice seemed to echo in her head as they leaped down the stairs together, "we'll go somewhere nobody will interrupt us."

Margaret thought back to her conversation with Robin and Nami. Maybe she…maybe she _did_ have special feelings for Luffy. Her heart was certainly pounding. The way he said things, the way he did things, the way he looked at her…

_Maybe…maybe I'm special to him too..._

Margaret was jolted out of her thoughts as Luffy's grip was wrenched from hers, Nami's figure a blur as she once again kicked the shit out of her idiot captain.

"I don't know what you've already done to her," Nami drawled in a scary voice, letting dark flames flicker off her skin, "but you won't touch one more hair on this innocent child's head until I know _exactly what's going on_."

Sanji had been preparing to kill his captain for touching Margaret with such familiarity anyway, but Nami's suspicious words made him pause.

"What do you mean 'what you've already done to her', Nami-san."

Robin's eyes widened and she reached out to Nami. "Navigator-san, we can discuss this later. There's no reason to start something-"

"BACK OFF, EYEBROW BOY!" Franky roared, pointing at Sanji. "MUGIWARA SAW HER FIRST."

"FRANKY, SHUT THE _HELL UP_," Usopp cried, in awe of their shipwright's perfectly awkward timing. "YOU AREN'T HELPING."

"What does Luffy have to do with Margaret-chan," Sanji said quietly, smoke leaking from his mouth.

Robin turned to him, opening her mouth to explain, but was beaten to the punch.

"She does this cool thing with her hands," Luffy said, giggling. "It makes you feel like you have to pee. And then you do. Except you don't." Luffy pondered what he just said, then paled, realizing who he was talking to.

"But we weren't naked, Sanji. Well, uh…not completely. I was wearing my hat the whole time."

Nobody spoke.

Nobody moved.

Nobody breathed.

Robin closed her eyes and pondered her slipping track record.

_Status report:_ Damage control - _Failure._


	8. Bureikingu Pointo

**A/N:** _Please enjoy~_

* * *

**Suppressed**

**Ch. 8: Bureikingu Pointo**

* * *

It had rained over the archipelago the night before, so Shakky thought it might be a good idea to get up early, have a cup of coffee and read the newspaper outside while it was still cool.

She set the two prepared breakfast plates on a couple of dish towels for when the guests woke up, and grabbed the paper.

Not even ten minutes into this decision, who should climb up that last hill and come sweeping over to place a chaste kiss on her forehead but Silvers Rayleigh. How she always managed to know when he might show up, she wasn't really sure, but it was nice to see old age wasn't dulling her woman's intuition. She smiled up at him and placed her hand over the one he had on her shoulder.

"I've got a surprise for you," she said, raising her eyebrows and not even bothering to comment on how long he'd been gone this time. He smirked.

"Oh really now?"

"Mm-hm. I should tell you a bit about them before they wake up and you make a fool out of yourself."

"They?" Rayleigh said tentatively, looking confusedly at the door to the bar and back to his wife. "Someone's here?"

"A young man and woman."

"Well, I'm not old enough yet that I can't differentiate gender upon first sight…"

Shakky looked doubtfully at his tattered clothes and scraggly gray beard, shrugging and chewing on the end of her cigarette.

"They came here looking for you," she said softly. "They need you to take them to where Monkey-chan is."

Rayleigh looked startled, then gave her a look like she should elaborate before he told her what he thought about that.

"I already went through an interrogation of sorts," Shakky said, turning the page of the paper. "I think, since we already know where he is, this is one thing we should make an exception for."

"I'm having a hard time thinking of any reason to share that kind of information with complete strangers, Shakky dear," Rayleigh said, a bit of distress showing in his raspy voice. He rubbed at his neck and sighed. "Government spies are-"

"If they are government spies, they won't be talking," Shakky said quietly, looking up at him. "At least she won't. She's mute."

"...Mute?"

"Yes. She's traveling with her brother who translates for her."

"…I see. Then…what's their business with Luffy?"

"I think 'business' might be the wrong word for this," Shakky said, smiling sadly. "It's more of a closure thing."

* * *

"We're under a lot of fucking pressure, Garp," Sengoku seethed, stalking down the hall with anger and humiliation reddening his face. Garp walked silently at his side, his face set in a frown.

Sengoku had just finished a meeting with some higher ups on issues concerning, what else, Garp's punk ass offspring's…offspring. He'd stepped down more than two years ago and they were still making him run around like a little bitch for them. The cherry on top of this day was Garp barging into the room and asking with not a shred of shame where he could locate the restroom. So much for bringing him along.

"Your grandson has been a thorn in my side since he made his way into the world as a pirate, but now it's different," the ex-fleet admiral continued, waving a stack of papers in Garp's face. "Shalulia specifically wants him dead. After that bullshit revolution he sparked on Fishman Island, the reverie has not only been pushed into a corner on whether to accommodate a representative for them, but we're having to scramble to get any kind of clue as to where he might be. He hasn't arrived at any of the island's that his course was set for." He stopped walking long enough to jab a finger in Garp's chest to help amplify his point.

"They're willing to pay for the _entire_ construction of G5, Garp. For that monkey's head on a platter. Two and a half years of stewed emotions and unexacted revenge. They're pissed. You just better hope they don't change their mind's and expect us to bring him in alive."

He looked Garp in the eye. "They want me to see this through. I don't have any official power anymore, but I've dealt with this enough that they know I can pull the strings to get done what needs to be done."

"Like I care," Garp snorted, reaching into the bag in his huge pants pocket and shoving two donuts in his mouth. Sengoku stared at the clumps of powdered sugar stuck in his beard.

"They won't be able to catch that stupid idiot anyway," he reasoned, shrugging and offering the bag to his friend. "Nobody knows where he is. Dropped off the face of the Earth after his last mishap. He's probably dead." He laughed heartily.

"I should be so lucky," Sengoku growled, large veins ticking over his forehead and neck the longer Garp laughed. Chewed donut sprayed from his mouth and landed on Sengoku's suit. "That actually brings me to the second topic discussed."

Garp took the sheet of paper Sengoku offered him and read it like it was a nuisance.

"So they've finally decided to revoke Hancock of her Shichibukai position…"

"Her ties to Luffy are unknown, but they exist. She kept fairly quiet those two years the Straw Hat's were out of commission, and it might not be farfetched to think she helped hide Luffy. We think she might know where he is. Her claims of an alliance with him during Marineford are enough to suspect she has no intention of helping us with our future endeavors. And there are others that are making their names as well, bigger and more influential than her. We have our system to consider."

Garp nodded, handing the paper back and brushing the crumbs from his beard.

"Do you know who they're sending yet? Since you've brought this up, I'm assuming they have the intention of trying to get her to talk."

"They'll send a fleet. If she is hiding the Straw Hat's, they're not willing to take any chances. They'll try to keep it civil, though…"

"How can you be so sure? Especially if they send Akainu."

"Charloss has taken an interest in her," was Sengoku's simple answer. "He's going to offer government immunity to AL if she agrees to go with him."

"Son of a bitch doesn't have enough wives already?" Garp asked sarcastically before burping loudly.

"It's a done deal. G5 will be paid for in exchange for Luffy and Hancock, and if the cards are in our favor, we may just get both in one fell swoop."

"I still think he's dead."

"SHUT THE HELL UP. YOU KNOW HE'S NOT."

Garp's laughter echoed confidently off the floor and walls of the hall, Sengoku's fuming accompanying it until they both walked out of the building.

* * *

Zoro sat cross legged on the floor, trying not to let on that he felt completely awkward still being here.

"Really, I'm fine. I should get going anyway…"

"Nyonsense," Nyon said sternly, bringing the tea tray through the huge door to Hancock's chambers and setting it down between them on a low table. "It is custom on this island that we show some gratitude when favors are done for us, even if all I can do is make some tea."

The old woman glanced over at Hancock's sleeping figure sprawled out over her huge bed. "Especially when the favor involves such an unsavory woman such as that one. Tsk. You mustn't take her chiding to heart, Roronoa Zoro," she said, handing him his cup, "Hebihime-sama is as cold as ice, and has never been one to warm up to people easily. She has a terrible personality."

_Yeah. I've noticed._

Zoro sipped his tea and tried not to make eye contact.

"I am…a bit confused," Nyon continued, sweat dropping a bit, "at how things came about this way, though…"

"I did what you told me," he said flatly, setting the cup down and giving her a frog face. "She tried to execute and passed out in the middle of the process. So I carried her back here."

"Oh? And what did you have her do that would bring her to the brink of exhaustion?"

Zoro didn't really appreciate the leering grin on her face. He gritted his teeth and struggled to keep his defensive mechanism from going berserk. At the same time, he didn't feel like explaining the process Hancock had undergone to heal his shoulder. It had drained any energy she had left, so he'd brought her back immediately after it happened.

"She healed me. That's it. Or 'pain killer-ed' me. Whatever. It's not like she wasn't already pretty spent thanks to your drugs. She's here now, and I've got stuff to do." He bowed his head and stood up. "Thanks for the tea."

"Fine," Nyon sighed, waving her staff at him. "I can appreciate a man who keeps things short and to the point. I will speak to her when she awakens, and I'd actually like to have a word with her about your training…"

Zoro turned to look at her, his brow furrowed. "I can handle my own training regimen. I really don't need much of anything that she can give me."

"The Kuja pride themselves on their combat skills," Nyon boasted, puffing out her chest and staring him down. "I will see to it that Hancock teaches you the Kuja Haki."

"No offense to her or anything, but I've had more than enough of this woman," he muttered unenthusiastically, turning to head for the door.

"Have you had the opportunity to test out your skills on a logia type devil fruit user?" Nyon called at his back. Zoro stopped short and let out an exasperated sigh.

"Yeah, what's that got to do with it?"

"Luffy-san has already mastered the Busoshoku haki," Nyon continued, walking over to where he stood. "It would benefit you greatly, considering your use of swords, to have this skill. To imbue haki into your attacks guarantees that, if faced with an enemy with the power of a devil fruit of this type, you will be able to fight alongside your captain."

Zoro listened with some interest. He recalled a creepy mud guy who had given them a hard time on the ship on the way to Fishman Island. It had never really entered his mind that he could fight these types of users himself. He had grown a lot in two years, but devil fruit's were something a normal human such as himself couldn't quite grasp.

"So…if I use this 'haki' stuff, I'd be able to fight those kinds of devil fruit users better?"

Now that he thought about it, Luffy did use this 'haki' incorporated into the majority of his attacks. He had been the one to beat the shit out of the mud guy.

"That is correct," Nyon said, gesturing at his swords. "You will leave this island more knowledgeable than when you came if she does her job correctly. Which I will personyally make sure she does," she growled.

Zoro inhaled, then let out a deep breath, knowing that if he did this it meant spending considerably more time with the crazy princess. He combed a hand through his hair and shrugged.

"Alright. Fine. But if she gets bossy, I'm out."

Nyon smiled triumphantly as she watched him saunter out the door. She giggled like a school girl and blushed to herself.

_He really does have a nice butt…_

Zoro was startled as he closed the door, Hancock's sister Marigold holding his cleaned robe in her hand.

"Thank you for all you have done for anee-sama," she said, smiling warmly. "Nyon-baa requested we ready the bath for your use when she finished speaking with you."

"Tch. Creepy old woman," he muttered under his breath. He grabbed the robe and towel from her and waved passively before walking down the hall.

"Yeah, yeah. I get it. I probably smell by now, so just make sure that old woman doesn't peek or anything."

"Erm…Roronoa-san," Marigold started, sweat dropping, "the bath is down that hall."

Zoro whirled on his heels, blushing fiercely.

"I knew that."

* * *

Luffy's instincts were probably the one thing he could completely rely on in any situation.

Right now, the thing they were telling him to do was run.

"MUGIWARA, WHY DIDN'T YOU KICK HIS ASS," Franky roared in implied disappointment, sprinting alongside Luffy, Usopp, Chopper and Brook.

Why were they running? Well, upon Luffy's vague description of the things that had happened between himself and Margaret, Sanji had exploded into a flaming pyre of rage and insurmountable doom.

"I CAN FEEL HIM GETTING CLOSER," Chopper sobbed loudly, all of them now aware of the increasingly uncomfortable heat creeping up on them. They all skidded on the dirt road, turning a sharp corner and dashing madly for a place to…hide? There was no place to hide. A lady had been tainted. Hiding was not in Luffy's cards anymore.

"WHY THE HELL DID WE GO WITH LUFFY," Usopp bawled, snot dripping from his nose and his arms jostling in an attempt to push his legs harder.

"WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE ME TODAY," Luffy cried, anger and emotional instability making him tear up as well. Or maybe that was a common side effect of the heat wave bearing down on them like a freight train. He considered ditching his flip flops to gain that extra millisecond of awkward impact with the ground.

There was a snapping sound, and time seemed to slow down to a crawl. Luffy caught the angry blue of Sanji's iris a second before he felt his face implode with the impact of his foot. Luffy didn't feel the building pressing down into him until he'd already bounced off and returned at warp speed to receive another kick to the face.

"He just broke the fucking sound barrier," Usopp mused, eyes visibly pulsing in their sockets as he came to watch Sanji's personal take on hand ball. Chopper fainted. Franky and Brook were holding each other and crying hysterically, asking the blonde for forgiveness he currently wasn't aware he needed to give them.

Nami, Robin and Margaret jogged over with some of the crowd from the dining hall following close behind. Sanji decided he'd had enough of his game, so the next time Luffy bounced back, he gripped his rubber face like an iron vice and dragged him back over to Margaret.

"Tell me what this shit head did to you," he said in a surprisingly calm voice.

"Cook-san," Robin started, but she was stopped when he held up his other hand and shook his head.

"Robin-chan, I realize that it is in your gentle and caring nature to look out for everyone unconditionally, but this I cannot forgive."

'This' was emphasized by thrusting his unconscious captain forward and dropping him in the dust.

Robin sweat dropped and glanced at Margaret. She looked very disconcerted, her hands cupped over her mouth as she stared at Luffy.

"Margaret-chan," Sanji said softly, brushing a wisp of hair out of her eyes, "your lovely face was what brought me out of the pits of near death itself. I was a man reborn of this life to love you, to be the man that will take care of you for all eternity…"

"Right. She's definitely in need of taking care of," Nami muttered with a snicker, recalling Margaret's split second kiss reaction.

"Why is everyone mad," Margaret whimpered, a small trickle of tears rolling down her cheek. "I don't understand why everyone's mad…"

"When a man touches a woman in an unnecessary way," Sanji started gently, lighting a fresh cigarette and pointing at Luffy…

"Luffy's touch…isn't..._unnecessary_," Maragaret said, voice cracking a bit and one hand trying to wipe the snot from her nose. "This is my fault. Everyone's mad at Luffy because I asked him to touch me." It was a line that might've sounded funny if she hadn't been near sobbing as she said it. Robin smiled sadly and patted her head. Nami's eyes softened at the childish attempt to portray her feelings.

"Asked…" Sanji mused, frowning a little.

"Nee-chan is Mugiwara's girl," Franky offered, lifting his pinky and flashing a smile. Brook and Usopp tackled him.

"I hurt…everywhere…" Luffy gurgled pathetically, spitting dirt out of his mouth and slowly blinking his eyes.

"As you should," the cook seethed, lifting him back up by his shirt. He caught sight of the bite mark on Luffy's shoulder and narrowed his eyes.

"What the fuck is that."

"Er…" Margaret blushed ridiculously through leftover tears. "I…I did that."

Sanji looked from Margaret to Luffy, puffs of smoke seeping out from between his pursed lips. after about a minute of contemplation, he nodded his head and started dragging Luffy away.

"Sanji-kun, where are you going," Nami called, a little worried.

"To throw this idiot in the ocean," was his simple reply.

Luffy's eyes bugged out and he struggled to escape.

"SANJI YOU ASSHOLE I CAN'T SWIM."

"Precisely," the blonde said smoothly, a little smile playing at his lips.

"I've had enough drama for today I think," Robin said, sighing heavily and restraining Sanji with her arms. Margaret ran over to collect Luffy from Sanji's grasp and lifted him to his feet.

"Let's head back to the palace for now," Nami yelled, grabbing Sanji by his ear and dragging him away despite his gentle protesting. Usopp picked Chopper up and started walking with Brook. Franky started walking towards the ship, claiming he needed to start working on the roof of the bath.

"Everyone's mean today," Luffy pouted, letting Margaret support him as they trudged slowly back to the palace.

"I told you not to say anything," she replied, sighing. "And now everyone's mad at you."

"I don't get it. Do they want to touch me too?" he wondered out loud, brows furrowed in thought.

"That's definitely NOT it, you idiot," Nami said, interrupting his thoughts and pinching his cheek until he started whining again. "You're getting The Talk as soon we get back. So behave yourself, and don't get any stupid ideas until I'm done with you."

* * *

"I refuse," Hancock said bluntly, hiding her face from Nyon in a pillow.

"You have nyo room to refuse. You're doing it. And if you don't do a good job, I'm sure Luffy-san will be disappointed in you."

Hancock pondered that, wondering if maybe this was her chance to put herself back in Luffy's good graces. She hadn't seen him since yesterday despite both of them being on the island. He was probably pining for her by now.

"Fine," she said begrudgingly, dragging herself up from the comfort of her bed. "When do we start."

"Tomorrow morning," Nyon said, impressed that she'd been able to convince her fairly easily.

"Fine, fine," Hancock said again, passively flaying her hand around in an attempt to get the old woman to leave her alone.

"I think if you plan on seeing Luffy today, you should probably bathe. You look a mess," Nyon said, a hint of mischief in her voice.

Hancock looked down at herself and cringed. The swordsman's robe was gone, and had been replaced with one of her own, but her skin would become scaly and her hair would be frizzy if she didn't scrub herself soon.

"You needn't worry over who changed your clothes," Nyon said teasingly, "Sandersonia took care of that."

Hancock blushed and kicked a leg out at her adoptive mother. Nyon just dodged and scampered away giggling.

"Remember not to stay in the bath too long. You might prune up," was her final piece of advice before heading out the door.

"Hai, hai," Hancock muttered, rolling her eyes. She was too light headed to argue at the moment. She ate a grape from the fruit plate Sandersonia had brought her and grabbed the towel beside it, heading for the bath.

_You both can thank me later_, Nyon thought gleefully to herself, her evil laughter making the servants she passed in the hall more than a little worried for her health.

* * *

"What the hell is this," Nami said, looking around at the confusion happening around her. Women were running out of shops, and up ahead, large banners were being raised in front of the palace. Guards stood along the barrier, barking out orders for everyone to get back.

"Hebihime-sama's taking a bath," Margaret explained, frowning. "Usually she takes one at a different time…"

"Maybe she just woke up," Robin suggested. "With the medicine she was given, she might have been knocked out until around this time…"

"Why is it such a big deal that she's taking a bath? Is there some kind of ritual they have to do here?"

"She was really dirty after she came back with Zoro yesterday. I imagine she'd want to get clean again…"

"What's this shit about the Marimo and Hancock-dono," Sanji asked, his temper already being tested beyond his normal tolerance.

"Something happened yesterday and Zoro had to save her from drowning. She came back wearing his clothes," Nami said in a crafty voice, taking sick pleasure in watching Sanji overreact to just about everything. His cigarette snapped in half.

"Speaking of, where is Zoro?" Usopp asked, frowning. "He said he was going to go train this morning and we haven't seen him since."

"I caught him on his way there," Sanji growled, glaring at the way Margaret was holding onto Luffy, "I told him to go fishing for me so I could make lunch for everyone."

"He should've been back by now, right?" Nami said. Then she shrugged, rolling her eyes. "Maybe he got lost."

"Yeah that's probably it," everyone agreed simultaneously.

* * *

Zoro sneezed. A draft had definitely just blown in. He shivered a little and submerged himself further in the heated water, hearing the door click closed.

He opened his mouth to call out to whoever had just opened it, but he paled despite his flushed body and his jaw snapped shut when Hancock staggered in. He couldn't see very well through the mist, but he figured there weren't many other women that had her…figure…on this island.

_I thought the old lady said-_

Well, there was the problem. Never trust creepy old women when they tell you to get naked for something.

_I fucking hate this island…_

He lowered himself into the water until all that showed were his eyes and his green hair. Very inconspicuous.

Moving at the speed of a dead turtle, he quietly made his way to the opposite end of the water as she walked over and waded in as well, muttering to herself about her head hurting. He gathered enough courage to try to climb out and trust that the steam would cover any potential fuck up's-

"Luffy?"

_Fuck. My. Life._

He couldn't say anything. His voice wouldn't come. In his panic he slipped on the edge of the stone and awkwardly fell back in. He stood up and tried to play it cool, getting ready to explain everything like a rational adult.

"Listen, I-"

He felt her wrap her arms around him and she buried her face in the crook of his neck. No words indeed.

"Luffy, I'm sorry. I want you to forgive me. I've done bad things, and I haven't acted like a wife at all," she sobbed softly.

He narrowed his eyes in suspicion. Was this a joke? He had to be the exact opposite of Luffy's build; scrawny, lithe limbs with brown hair. Was she trying to be funny? Was this her way of insulting him? Not that Luffy was an ugly guy…just…wait, was this her plan? Was she trying to get him to question his own masculinity? Was this a CHALLENGE?

He felt a kiss on his neck and he continued to stare straight ahead, wondering what he should do in this completely ridiculous situation.

"I want you to love me, Luffy," she said pitifully, squeezing him tighter against her. He struggled to breathe. "I love you so much…"

_Ok. This has gone on far enough…_

He tentatively placed his hands on her waist and tried to push her away. If she let go, he could make a run for it before she realized she'd been mistaken.

"You pay attention to everyone but me," she whined, refusing to let him budge even an inch. "I always have to be with your jerk swordsman…"

Veins ticked over his face as she continued to recount all of the tragic events that had befallen her because of Luffy's 'asshole first mate', the whole time trying to walk to the door while she clung to him. He backed out of the water and stepped up to the tiles, her face slipping down to press against his abs. He bent to try to push her off, but stopped when she slurred something he was sure he had misheard.

"What'd you say?"

"He's a good man," she said slowly, like she was drunk. "Your first mate…is a good man. Your whole crew…you should be proud."

And then she passed out completely again, resting over the edge of the bath and starting to snore in exhaustion. Zoro stood dumbfounded, not sure whether he was supposed to wake her up or just leave her somewhere for someone to find.

There was still some dirt and leaves stuck to her, and though he tried with all his might to let the thought die, her hair care and soap was sitting suggestively on the stool she had meant to use. He gritted his teeth and pulled at his hair and blushed in embarrassment, but he couldn't just leave her there.

_Be grateful I'm not a pervert…_

He swore under his breath and dragged her over to the stool, setting her down in front of him and combing out her hair with the shampoo and oil she had brought. He then scrubbed her arms and legs, looking away as best he could and being careful to avoid any area of remote sensitivity. When he got to the burn mark on her back his eyes softened and he wondered where it came from. It looked painful.

_Are you afraid people will see this?_

He shook his head and grunted. Wasn't his business.

_Tch. Probably haven't eaten anything again. No wonder you can't stay awake._

He looked around for her clothes, couldn't find any, then decided it might be better to just put her back in her room and let her think she fell asleep after bathing herself. If he left her here her metabolism might get to the point that she would become dangerously dehydrated, and he really wanted to avoid another awkward episode at all cost. Waking her up was not something he was keen on doing.

He blushed a little, trying to figure out how to carry her. She'd get rug burn if he just dragged her, and when he threw her over one shoulder, her boobs bounced against his back and…and that option was out. So. He finally just lifted her into his arms like a bride and covered her with his clothes and threw his swords, pants and harameki on top.

A quick glance out the door revealed that there was nobody in the hallway, so he made a mad dash for her room, praying to whatever being that might exist (though he doubted it) that nobody would walk around the corner and see them both completely naked.

_This is the worst vacation ever._

Pushing the door open and closed with his foot, he stumbled over to throw her back in bed. He gave her the finger and took his robe back from her sprawled out body. He refrained from covering her because he didn't want it to look like someone had put her there.

When he reached for his swords, which had rolled over to the other side of her, he carelessly let his eyes linger over her body. She was, as everyone hailed her to be, probably the most physically attractive woman he had ever seen.

_It's a shame you're so bipolar._

He dropped the swords on his pants and harameki and leaned over to see if she had a fever. She was warm, though it was hard to tell if it was from a fever or just getting out of the bath. He sighed and pushed her bangs from her forehead, blushing when a thought came into his mind…

_I guess, if you think I'm such a good man, there must be something about you that's not so detestable…_

He leaned over her face, intent on seeing if her forehead was hotter than his…

"Hebihime-sama should be finished changing soon. She will receive you in here..." Nyon said, bustling herself and the rest of the crew through the door. Zoro's eyes bugged out and he lost his balance trying to fly away from the, now more than ever, naked woman underneath him. It didn't quite work out, and everyone stared from across the room as he tried to lift himself up off of her chest.

"Oh my. Perhaps I should have knocked first," Nyon said in a syrupy voice, completely satisfied with how this looked.

"This isn't…" Zoro succeeded in climbing off, and turned to face his nakama with his robe undone, "what it looks like."

"Oh my god," Nami whispered miserably, face palming and now looking overtly depressed because Zoro was supposed to be the one she could count on to be fairly normal. Robin grinned at his exposed front. Luffy blinked, still leaning on a blushing but fairly curious Margaret.

"It's bigger than yours, Luffy…"

Luffy glared at her, kind of annoyed that she showed some interest.

"I…don't know if I can take much more of this…" Usopp said, falling to his knees with Chopper still passed out in his arms. "I don't even know what to believe anymore…"

"YOHOHOHO it appears we came in at the wrong time. Although, I don't have eyes to see…"

"LET ME EXPLAIN, DAMMIT," Zoro yelled, stuffing his feet through his pant legs and blushing furiously.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON," Sanji screamed, fisting his hair, "IS EVERYONE GETTING LAID EXCEPT ME?"

"Why all the noise," Hancock barked, sitting up and regarding everyone. She looked down at herself, then at Luffy, blushed and hid herself under the covers.

"WHY…WHY AM I NAKED?"

"YOU MEAN IT WASN'T CONSENSUAL?" Nami screeched, preparing to beat the shit out of Zoro.

"WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING," he bellowed, pointing at Nyon. "SHE TOLD ME TO TAKE A BATH."

"AND SO YOU GET NAKED TOGETHER?"

"So much yelling," Robin said, holding her head and frowning. "I'm getting a headache."

"OH MY GOD YOU SAW ME NAKED?" Hancock screamed, throwing a pillow at Zoro.

"YEAH, WELL, WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST TIME, WOULD IT?" he countered.

"THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE?" Nami was going to go into cardiac arrest.

"NOTHING HAPPENED," he protested.

"I DON'T WANT TO BE MARRIED TO THIS," Hancock sobbed, pointing at Zoro.

"WE AREN'T MARRIED," he screamed, teeth bared.

"Hancock finally got married? Congratulations!" Luffy called cheerfully, then blinked in confusion. "Hey…what's 'married' mean?"

Hancock burst into tears. Sanji tackled Zoro and Robin had to separate them. Nami raged to herself, vowing to kill everyone before this trip was over. Usopp sat crying, holding Chopper like a teddy bear and rocking back and forth. Brook laughed hysterically at everything. Luffy tried to explain that 'of course Zoro's dick is fat since he's fat'….

"And the day isn't even over," Nyon mused, grinning to herself as Marigold and Sandersonia burst in, frantically trying to figure out what was happening.

Nami finally caught enough breath to holler, "EVERYONE. NOW. ON THE SUNNY. EMERGENCY MEETING. AND NOBODY EATS UNTIL WE FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON."


	9. I Like Your Beard

**A/N:** _Please enjoy~_

* * *

**Suppressed**

**Ch. 9: I Like Your Beard**

* * *

Normally Franky was all for the confusion that came along with being a Straw Hat pirate. Nothing manlier than throwing the rest of the world off guard with some spontaneity.

Normally though, he wasn't in the middle of reciting really embarrassing lines of text about girl's being the sun and standing and watching girl's on their balconies. The embarrassment was made that much more pronounced by the fact that he was putting off the manly task of fixing the roof of his ship.

So when the rest of the crew came bursting out of the trees in a hurricane whirlwind of curses, death threats and general discontent, he shoved said embarrassing (but still pretty entertaining) piece of stolen literature back in his ab-drawer for later and hastily waved a hammer at them all from his perch as a cover up.

And now here they all sat on the ship: Nami interrogating Zoro, who was trying his best not to fall asleep; Sanji foaming at the mouth and passed out in Chopper's office; Chopper running in and out of said office trying to decide if he wanted to BE the doctor today or find someone else to do it for him; Usopp laying with his head on the dining room table, absentmindedly staring through his glass of apple juice at Luffy's distorted face; Luffy apparently torn between some heavy thoughts that required him to glare in Zoro's direction every few seconds and pout before going back to studying the table wood.

Robin was the only normal one, as always. She caught the cyborg's glance and gave him a reassuring smile before sitting next to him.

"As you can see, you missed out on some fun," she commented, setting a cola down for him and drinking her own juice.

"Yeah, I can see that," he murmured, nodding his thanks. "Do I want to know what it's about this time?"

* * *

"So let me get this straight, just so we're on the same page," Nami said suspiciously, leaning her weight on one jean clad hip.

"Whatever gets this over with faster," Luffy whined, giving up on the defiant child act after having to sit there for two hours listening to Nami and Zoro banter. "I'm going to starve soon and it'll be all your guys' fault…"

"You shut up," the red-head snapped. She noticed Zoro had dozed off again and kicked him in the shin. He cried out in pain and glared at her.

"So Zoro-aniki was caught naked with the Princess? This sure turned out to be an interesting first day, eh?" Franky mused. "Diving right in after not even knowing each other for twenty-four hours-"

"I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU IT'S NOT LIKE THAT," the swordsman screeched, pounding a fist on the table. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Luffy glowering at him and he returned it full force.

"What the hell's YOUR problem? From what I hear, you've got a lot less than me to be bitching about."

"So you're jealous that Luffy actually got some?" Usopp snickered. Zoro gave him a death glare and attempted to leap over and kill him. He was clocked in the head by Nami, so he face planted onto the table.

"Oops," Robin muttered, blinking in surprise when her juice toppled over and spilled in her lap.

"Got it," Franky said, a handkerchief popping out of his finger. Not really thinking, he moved to mop up Robin's crotch and then stopped, blushing furiously. He caught her eye by accident, turning more red when she smiled deviously.

"You know what I think, I think you're all just mad that I'd rather hang out with Margaret. She's a hell of a lot nicer than you guys," Luffy said loudly, crossing his arms and sticking his nose in the air. "She plays with me."

"So I've heard, Man Whore," Zoro growled, settling back in his chair and giving the room a once over. Usopp laughed hysterically at Luffy's confused look at his new nickname.

"You know," Franky said, trying to distract himself from Robin's legs, "It's a sad day when Mugiwara, the manliest of us all, can't even get a hand job without someone bustin' a nut."

"HE DOESN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM," Nami screamed, pulling at Luffy's cheek. "WE ARE HERE TO PREVENT SOMETHING OF EQUAL OR GREATER CONSEQUENCE. Now," she said, calming down a little, "Luffy, listen to me. You can't just go around touching girls any way you like. It's disrespectful."

"But she ASKED me," he whined, pulling himself from her grasp, "And it felt good."

"Course it did," Zoro interjected disgustedly, staring at his captain, "don't tell me you don't even know what sex is-"

He was immediately silenced by Nami's body flying full force at him from across the table and tackling him.

"DO YOU WANT TO DIE THAT BADLY?" she yelled, refusing to remove her hand from his face.

"Sex?" Luffy muttered, head tilting at a ninety degree angle. Franky shook his head.

"That's some kind of super feat you've accomplished, Mugiwara. The manliest guy I know can't even comprehend one of the most basic primal urges we're dealt."

Nami's eyes flashed his way, and the cyborg was silenced. Zoro struggled to breathe.

"And no, you can't eat it," Usopp said passively, noticing Luffy's mouth start to open.

"Perhaps I should try explaining it," Robin said smoothly, standing up slow enough that Franky had time to look at her ass before she made her way over to Luffy. Nami sighed and threw Zoro back in his chair, waiting for what she knew was going to be their last hope.

Robin moved to drape her arms over Luffy's shoulders until her hands rested against his bare stomach, stroking his abs sensually. Luffy furrowed his brows confusedly and blinked, ignoring the now dropped jaws around him.

"What do you feel when I do this to you," she said, moving her lips to whisper in his ear. Franky's nosebleed trickled down to look like a bloody mustache around his gaping upper lip.

"What are you even doing," Luffy asked loudly, giving her a frog face. "You're weird, Robin."

"Just, for a minute, close your eyes and imagine Margaret-chan is doing this to you."

Luffy looked startled for a minute, then closed his eyes and did as he was told.

Everyone waited in anticipated silence…for…what exactly?

After a few minutes of waiting and watching Robin do her thing, Luffy let his head fall back and he groaned, making everyone else in the room extremely uncomfortable. Robin smiled and looked down at his arousal.

"Now we're getting somewhere," she announced, patting Luffy's head and walking back towards the other side of the table. Luffy blinked lazily and watched her walk away.

"We came here to explain things in a way he'll understand to NOT do them," Nami said despairingly, fingers spidering hysterically through the air.

"That was borderline pornographic," Usopp said, marveling at his own nosebleed. Franky was silent, but gave a thumbs up to nobody in particular and wiped his nose with the finger-chief.

"Do you enjoy thinking about Margaret-chan, Senchou?" Robin asked, taking the dry erase marker from the board Chopper had brought out before tending to Sanji. Luffy thought hard for a minute and then nodded.

"When you think about Margaret-chan," she continued, drawing on the board, "what do you think about her doing?"

"Touching me," he said, straightening his hat. "I like her hands."

Zoro snorted and Luffy glared at him.

"You already have Hancock to touch you," Luffy said defensively. And then he grumbled more to himself, "Just 'cause Margaret thinks you have a big dick…"

The room exploded in laughter, Zoro's face steaming in embarrassment. Even Robin joined in, covering her mouth in a sad attempt to make it look more dignified.

"I'll KILL YOU, YOU LITTLE SHIT."

"DON'T TOUCH ME I DON'T WANNA BE FAT," Luffy retorted through clenched teeth, both of them jumping up and facing off over the table. They were promptly K.O.'d by Nami so Robin could continue.

"One develops sexual urges fairly early on in life in a normal environment, but it might be hard pressed to consider Senchou's environment…stimulating," Robin mused, stepping back from the board.

"Robin," Nami said slowly, staring at the naked man and woman she had drawn. "What the hell is that?"

"These are simply visuals," Robin said casually, turning to look at Luffy. "Tell me what you see, Senchou."

"They're naked."

"Which one is the boy and which is the girl?"

Luffy pointed to one of them. "That one has boobs."

Robin's eyes brightened.

"What good is this," Usopp grumbled, his stomach growling. Everyone else nodded wondering what this was supposed to accomplish.

"He's not genderly challenged," Nami said placing a hand on her forehead. "We already knew that."

"No, I'd say this is a success," Robin said, smiling a little. "He's finally given some indication that he's aware of, and perhaps now inclined towards the female anatomy. Normally he might say 'that one has kintama' or something."

There was a shocked silence as everyone let this information sink in.

"Do you want to touch Margaret-chan, Senchou?"

Luffy nodded.

"Would you, if circumstances allowed it, want to make her feel good?"

Luffy nodded and grinned.

"This is getting to be too much for me," Zoro said, boredom evident in his voice. He stood up and headed for the door. "Tell me when he understands so I can give him tips on his technique."

He dodged the kick Nami tried to give to him and was nearly out the door when Brook came crashing through from the other side. They both fell in a tangle of limbs and bones, Zoro screaming obscenities and Brook saying he would've definitely felt that if he had skin. Or something to that effect.

"Brook! Where the hell have you been?" Usopp asked curiously.

"Nami-san, you have some visitors," the skeleton said simply, pointing at the door.

Everyone looked at each other. Nami frowned and got up to walk out the door. Everyone else waited a minute, and then followed.

When they had all gathered at the side of the ship, they noticed a giant flock of Amazon's standing on the dock and waiting patiently for Nami to appear. When she did, there was cheering.

"Oi!" Luffy cried cheerfully, "What are all of you doing here?"

"We came to see Nami-san!" a few of them called back, waving. Nami raised an eyebrow.

"Me? Why did you come to see me?"

Kikyo stepped out of the crowd, her eyes gleaming in admiration.

"Many of the girls here witnessed your exceptional skills when fighting against Luffy-sama. Because he has such immense strength, they are wondering if you might be willing to teach them," she said enthusiastically, moving her arms to gesture out to the other women. They all got down on one knee and bowed.

"Please teach us, Nami-sama!"

"I, also, would like to see it in action," Kikyo said smoothly, letting her eyes linger over Nami before kneeling as well. "Consider us all your humble students."

Everyone in the crew turned slowly to stare at a flushed and stuttering Nami.

"J-just hang on a second…I…I'm really not that great, I just lose it sometimes when he acts like an idiot."

"Yeah," Luffy said, slightly insulted, "Nami's not better than me. She's just mean."

"NOBODY ASKED YOU," the navigator growled, punching him over the head so that he smashed into Brook and they both fell to the ground. The amazon's cheered.

"What a stunning display of raw power," Kikyo mused, Nami's face starting to collect roses in her eyes, "We must ask you to take part in the tournament tomorrow."

"Tournament?" the crew said in unison. Nami was sweating bullets.

"I can't do that," she started off modestly, "Besides, I'm very busy and-"

Robin placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a look.

"You should accept their invitation, Navigator-san. You aren't so weak as you were two years ago. You will be fine. It would be impolite to refuse if they are so set on learning from you."

Nami stared out at her audience, not at all enthused. She blushed when she noticed Kikyo's creepy stare and turned to her comrades.

"I don't know, guys. These women are all really strong, right?"

"You're not weak anymore, Nami-nee," Franky said encouragingly, giving her a thumbs up. Everyone else nodded and smiled.

"Well, I don't know about that, but, sometimes I love you guys," Nami said tearfully, ready to initiate a group hug.

"And the winner gets one-million beri!" came a random call from the amazon's group.

"BRING IT ON," Nami roared, bursting into flame so that everyone else had to back away from her.

"I WANNA BE IN IT," Luffy whined loudly, finally getting untangled from Brook. "NAMI ISN'T BETTER THAN ME."

"IF HE'S IN IT, THEN SO AM I," came a deafening roar from inside the kitchen. Chopper clung to Sanji's arm as he kicked open the door and flew at Luffy. They struggled for a minute until Chopper finally decided he was done and went into heavy point, squishing both of them underneath him.

"I want in," Zoro said smirking, finally deciding to speak.

"I highly doubt you would be much of a contender," came a familiar voice from the forest. Hancock appeared, Salome slithering her along until she was at the front of the large group of women. The usual fainting and fawning occurred.

"Why do you always have to appear every time I try to do something that doesn't concern you," Zoro sneered, electricity shooting out of both their eyes. "You're annoying. Go away."

"Actually, this does concern me," Hancock said simply, flipping her hair and raising a hand to gesture at herself. "This is a tournament for me to test the strength of my own warriors. The winner will be battling me." She winked cutely. "Of course, I go easy on everyone to make it a fair fight." Much fainting occurred.

Nami paled. Luffy screamed, but it was muffled under Chopper's fur. Sanji struggled to get his face out from under the bulk so he could see Hancock for the first time since he'd been here. He failed miserably.

"Then what makes you think I'd pass up this kind of challenge," Zoro said darkly, narrowing his eyes at her. "If my opponent is you, I'll definitely win."

"Don't get cocky," Hancock hissed, leaning back so she was looking looking down at him to the point of looking up . "I was in a weakened state when we last faced off, but I'm completely recovered." She hardened her eyes and gave him a scary look. "If you take me lightly you'll lose more than your life."

"Perhaps his virginity?" Usopp offered, lips pouting in an exaggerated snicker as he, Brook and Franky went into a fit of giggles. Sanji's struggling was now accompanied by muffled yells of 'fucking marimo' and something about killing sea weed.

"I AIN'T A VIRGIN," the swordsman yelled, knocking all of them over and gritting his teeth at his female antagonist.

"I'm entering this tournament, and I'm winning. Simple as that," he stated so everyone could hear. "And when I win, you're gonna regret ever underestimating me."

"We'll see," she said cooly, tired of talking with him already. "But Luffy will not participate."

Luffy finally found the strength to pick Chopper up and glared at Hancock.

"WHY CAN'T I BE IN IT?"

"Because I will not raise a hand against my future husband," she cooed, wriggling obnoxiously and making all the women around her swoon.

"I'm not marrying you," Luffy said flatly.

"DAMN RIGHT YOU'RE NOT," Sanji roared, tackling Luffy again and forgetting to even glance at Hancock. Chopper fell on them without Luffy to hold him up.

"This is supposed to only be for women anyway," Hancock continued, smirking at Zoro, "so, perhaps you qualify."

That did it.

Zoro unsheathed all three swords and attempted to leap off the ship, Robin's arms pulling him back in as he swore incessantly.

"Any men other than the swordsman need not bother," Hancock said with finality, pointing so that Salome started taking her back to the palace. "Dinner is nearly finished, so please come eat once you've taken care of your dog." She smiled when Zoro glared daggers at her.

"And don't forget, moss ball," she said brightly, turning over her shoulder once more before disappearing into the trees, "I'll see you bright and early for your haki training. Hopefully you're a fast learner. You'll definitely need it if you expect to win."

"Farewell, Nami-san," Kikyo said smoothly, turning to leave with the rest of her comrades.

"This island just keeps getting weirder and weirder," Usopp mused.

"This, I am actually a bit excited to see," Brook said out loud, patting his afro. "Though, I don't have eyes to see…YOHOHOHO~ SKULL JOKE!"

"This will indeed be interesting," Robin said, thinking out loud. "Experiencing the culture of such an unstudied group so up close and personal…it's a once in a lifetime chance…"

"Maybe Margaret-nee is in it?" Franky questioned, scratching his chin. Luffy and Sanji perked up immediately.

"MARGARET (CHAN) MIGHT BE IN IT?" they both yelled at the same time. They glared at each other and grit their teeth.

"Oi, don't get any ideas, rubber-head," Sanji growled. "I let you off easy last time because Margaret-chan was confused, but I won't tolerate any funny business starting now."

"You're not the boss of me," Luffy growled right back. "Margaret's _my_ friend. She doesn't wanna touch you."

Sanji tackled him again, Chopper giving them both what for and screaming about everyone being idiot's.

"Margaret-chan is officially a member of the Kuja pirate crew, so she must be very strong. And if Kikyo and some of the others like her are in the tournament, it's not farfetched to think she would take part," Robin offered.

"And Nami-nee is in it too," Franky said, raising his arms together and posing. "THIS IS GOING TO BE SUPER~! I'M GOING TO CHEER THE LOUDEST."

Nami stopped in her attempt to sneak away and laughed nervously. Sanji swooped down next to her.

"I WILL ALSO CHEER FOR NAMI-SWAN! AND MARGARET-CHAN!"

"I'M GONNA BE LOUDER," Luffy yelled, their forehead's butting into each other.

"YOU WISH, MEAT BREATH."

"COOK GUY."

"THAT'S NOT AN INSULT," Chopper, Usopp, Franky and Brook yelled, slapping the air.

"It doesn't matter. I'm winning this," Zoro said, his aura now one of noticeable hatred, looking out towards where Hancock had disappeared. "So you can all just sit the fuck down and watch me."

"MARIMO IF YOU HURT MY PRECIOUS NAMI-SWAN AND MARGARET-CHAN I WILL SAUTEE YOU WITH ONIONS AND SERVE YOU TO HANCOCK-DONO MYSELF."

"I actually think I'll forfeit if I'm against Zoro," Nami said, waving passively and sweat dropping. "He can just give me the prize money as payment for letting him win."

"Here we go," Usopp said, slapping a hand to his forehead. "Looks like I'm sleeping in tomorrow. I have a serious case of Too-Much-Drama-itis…"

"You're not sick you liar," Chopper said, then his eyes widened. "Wait, are you really?"

"SANJI, I'M THE CAPTAIN. NOBODY WILL BE LOUDER THAN ME," Luffy yelled, both of them engaging in a hand slapping match since Chopper would just punch them for getting out of control.

"LIKE I'D GIVE MY LOVELY ANGEL TO SOME UNWORTHY BASTARD LIKE YOU."

"Is this a…cat fight?" Brook asked, everyone staring at them. "I can't tell since I have no eyes to see…YOHOHOHO~"

* * *

And thus, Luffy's sex-ed lesson got mowed over by various events of vague importance yet again. Zoro opted to skip dinner, saying he'd fish for himself so he could train some more. Luffy and Sanji declared they weren't talking to each other, and made everyone else uncomfortable enough to get through dinner without a large scale disaster.

With a new dawn, comes new dilemmas.

Luffy awoke, and realized immediately that something was different. Like, really different. Except he couldn't put his finger on it…

He yawned, noticing Usopp laying next to him. He smiled at his friend and pried himself from his grasp. It looked like Sanji was up already. Zoro was gone too.

_Oh yeah. He had training this morning…_

He yawned again, frowning when he realized he'd have to go get breakfast and see Sanji alone if he didn't wake someone else. He turned to stare at Usopp's sleeping figure, still curled up in their blanket. Taking extra care to be quiet, he walked over and shook him a little.

"Mmm…Luffy…don't…touch…there…hee," Usopp giggled in his sleep and then went back to snoring. Luffy blinked, giving his friend a weird look.

_Oh well. Maybe I'll meet up with someone…_

He went to walk out the door but tripped over Franky's leg, waking him.

"Oi, what kind of wake up call is that, Mugiwara..." he said in an irritated voice. Luffy noticed his startled look when his eyes fell on his captain's face. He broke into a wide grin.

"Atta boy, Mugiwara! You look manlier than ever now!"

Luffy tilted his head and frowned, then shook his head, getting back to what he needed.

"Hey, Franky. Come eat with me. I don't wanna go see Sanji by myself."

"Don't they have breakfast in the palace?"

"I like Sanji's _food_," he said, playing the spoiled brat. "I just don't like _him_ today."

Franky waved like he understood, stood up and walked out of the room with him. Robin and Nami were just coming out of their room across the hall together. They waved at first, then caught sight of Luffy and looked startled.

"Uh…" Nami said, looking dumbfounded. Robin recovered quickly and gave Luffy a smile.

"Very rugged, Senchou. I think Margaret-chan would approve."

Nami studied her captain, then fussed with his shirt and mussed his hair a little. She stepped back and smiled, apparently pleased with her work.

"Congratulations, idiot. You've graduated from average, to sexy."

Luffy looked at Franky, who gave him a thumbs up. He didn't get it.

"What's 'se…xy'?" he said, failing to pronounce the word correctly. Nami cringed.

"Never mind. It's you after all. Just make sure it doesn't grow into a full blown beard and you won't scare anyone."

_Beard…_

Luffy touched his cheek, his fingers immediately meeting with the sand papery sensation of facial hair.

"Come to think of it," Robin mused, "this is the first time you've sported facial hair before, isn't it?"

"I…I've never had hair on my face before," he said quietly, eyes wide.

He had often watched Zoro and Sanji battling over the use of the mirror while shaving, and he'd always kind of admired Sanji's goatee. Often times he would wonder why that never was the case for himself. He was a guy, too, dammit. Where was his face hair?

"I…" he teared up and started rubbing his face lovingly, "I CAN SHAVE. I GET TO SHAVE. I…I HAVE HAIR ON MY FACE."

This was the happiest moment of his life. He had to share it with the world.

"I HAVE HAIR ON MY FACE," he screamed joyously, running through the halls of Hancock's palace and telling anyone who would listen. "I GET TO SHAVE. I HAVE HAIR ON MY FACE."

Nami, Franky and Robin watched him run out of sight.

Chopper peeked out of their room, rubbing his eyes.

"What'd I miss?"

* * *

"HE'S LATE," Hancock screeched, pacing the training grounds and seething. "HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE AN HOUR AGO."

**Meanwhile, somewhere on the island…**

Zoro stood majestically on a cliff, looking out at the flat water with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Where…the fuck am I…"


	10. Arrows Of Gold, Arrows Of Lead

**A/N:** _Please enjoy~_

* * *

**Suppressed**

**Ch. 10: Arrows of Gold, Arrows of Lead**

* * *

Boa Marigold and Boa Sandersonia tried to ignore the heated radiation coming from their older sister; stoic as statues, they stared out at the fight taking place in the battle ring. Every time their sister shifted in her snakely throne, they prepared for some sort of angry outburst. They were, fortunately, at the very least able to deduce what the cause of her irritation was.

Hancock had woken up early to help Zoro with some haki training before the big event, but she had been stood up and was still understandably grumpy.

"The navigator is indeed a very resourceful person," Hancock finally muttered, breaking the awkward silence and seemingly giving room for her two siblings to breathe in relief.

"She does not possess haki or have near the strength we have trained to obtain, but it's interesting, her power."

"A calculated warrior," Marigold said, nodding. "Realizing her own weakness in build or skill, she probably took it upon herself to create some sort of weapon."

"She puts it to good use," Hancock said carefully, swinging one leg up over the other as she lounged on Salome and observed Nami's fight. "Very agile. I approve of her."

Sandersonia sweat dropped. "Somehow I don't think Luffy-san cares whether you approve or not, anee-sama."

"Still," Hancock said, waving her sister's observation away and biting her thumb. "I cannot have my rival so easily taken down. Luffy needs to see that I am truly superior. That I am the only one capable of becoming his wife. If I can face off with this girl, there will be no doubt."

* * *

"Ok…so, wait. Luffy has facial hair now? Why am I just now seeing this?" Usopp asked incredulously, both he and Chopper staring at Robin. She giggled a little at their disbelief.

"I had never thought about whether Senchou was capable of growing facial hair, but apparently this is quite the landmark for him."

"I have hair all over my face already!" Chopper said gleefully, fluffing the fur around his cheeks.

"And my goatee makes me look even more manly than I used to," Usopp reasoned with a self proclaiming jab of the thumb. "If he's just now getting some, maybe he'll eventually catch up to me."

_I can't believe it…Luffy's got scruff…_

Chopper and Robin stared at Usopp's look of vacancy, a small dribble of drool curving over his swollen lower lip and threatening to drip into his lap. They shrugged at each other.

"It is a bit strange though," Chopper started off, face breaking into a slight frown. Robin raised an eyebrow.

"Is it strange to develop facial hair at his age?"

"No, no! By no means," the doctor said frantically, blushing. "I was just thinking that it's strange that…now…of all times…"

His smile faded completely for a flickering moment. Robin tilted her head so a piece of raven hair fell over her face.

"Are you all right, Doctor-san?"

He nodded, albeit a bit hesitantly, then they were all distracted by the noise coming from the section of the stadium across from them. It was completely empty save the enthusiastic trio of cheerer's Franky, Sanji and Luffy, all decked out in loin cloth's and head band's and screaming at the top of their lung's. Distinguishing if the yelling was at each other or at Nami was another story.

"How embarrassing," Brook said with a disapproving shake of the head, waving his 'NAMI-SAN FIGHT! SHOW ME YOUR PANTIES' banner and wearing a pair of Nami's stolen undergarments over his afro. Robin was torn between the right thing to do, which would've been to take them off of his head, and being completely amused by this.

"Look who's talking," Chopper and Usopp said in unison, going back to watching the match.

"I cannot. I have no eyes to see…YOHOHOHO~"

* * *

Sanji had to admit his strategy had an element of genius attached to it. It had shocked him so much when he'd walked in for breakfast, that he had completely forgotten they weren't talking to each other and served everything in damn near complete compliance with Luffy's wishes.

The thing that disturbed him the most was how good it looked on him. He didn't look like such a baby anymore. It almost painted the picture of a rugged pirate captain instead of a lazy, good-for-nothing moron who only wanted to eat and stare at his precious angel like some beautiful rack of meat...

Sanji blinked out of his thoughts to avoid the random flash of lightning that had escaped Nami's climatact, jumping aside and into Franky to avoid being fried. Nami lifted herself up from the ground quickly, avoiding her opponent's haki imbued arrows. Her guttural woman-call of 'THE MONEY IS MINE' practically melted his heart.

"OI! BLONDIE! GET OFF MY CHEST," Franky thundered, pushing Sanji's drooling face away. Luffy ignored them both, jumping up and down like the monkey's he was named after and seemingly in the lead as far as hysterics were concerned.

"NAMI! THAT WAS AWESOME! EXCEPT YOU'RE STILL NOT AS GOOD AS ME!"

"SHUT UP, LUFFY," she screamed, eyes aflame and body drenched in victory sweat as she stood over her latest victim.

"NAMI-SWAN IS WONDERFUL!" Sanji screeched, pushing Luffy out of the way and waving at her frantically. Luffy shoved him with equal force until they both were growling and scratching at each other on the stadium seating.

"You think that just 'cause you've got facial hair now you have the upper hand, eh?"

"You're just mad 'cause it's not all over your face like mine," Luffy grumbled, clawing at Sanji.

"A bearded baby like you could never understand the care it takes to keep this kind of goatee," the blonde said dangerously, kicking his captain into a different set of stadium seating. Amazon's cheered them on as Nami's victim was cleared away, the two of them acting as intermission entertainment.

* * *

"Nami-san is absolutely amazing," Kikyo gushed, leaning over the railing and not bothering to hide her blush from her companions. Ran looked at Daisy and they shrugged.

* * *

"By the way," Sandersonia wondered out loud to Marigold, "do you happen to know where Nyon-baa is? She isn't here, and she usually makes a point of being around to referee as a buffer to anee-sama…"

"I haven't seen her since this morning," the larger woman said.

"We don't need her," Hancock said flatly, waving a hand at them and watching Nami wave to the crowd. "I can handle this myself."

"Anee-sama, it might be wise to call an intermission so Nami-san can rest. She's already fought three people and-"

"I am in charge of this tournament," the empress growled, glancing back at them both. "I will decide what is too much."

"But anee-sama, Zoro-san has not shown up either-"

"WHO CARES?" she screeched, standing up and whirling around to look at them. "I CERTAINLY DON'T. I HOPE HE'S DEAD."

Before they could reply, she moved forward so everyone could see her, raised her hand's out to the crowd and yelled, "There will be a one hour intermission before the next round so the contestant's can prepare themselves." She received some adoring looks from her fans and then added, "Also, any ugly grass-head's hiding in the vicinity can go die since they're obviously too scared to show their faces here."

Satisfied with her announcement, she slumped back into Salome and brought a hand up to her forehead.

"My head aches. Perhaps I should have eaten more at breakfast…"

"It would not be too much trouble to bring you some food since we're in an intermission."

"No," she decided with a sigh, "No, I'm fine for now. My sleep pattern has been strange as well, so perhaps that is it."

Sandersonia looked sadly at her sister's and then at the ground. "I've been having nightmare's again."

Hancock looked back at her and her eyes softened. She turned to her youngest sister, "You as well, Mari?"

She nodded and Hancock's face reflected the solemness she felt in her heart.

"It might help if we sleep together for a while like we used to," Sandersonia almost pleaded. "I don't like waking up after it's over and being all alone."

Hancock said nothing, but returned to staring out at the stadium. Her head bowed forward a little and she rubbed at her temple's to relieve some of the pressure.

* * *

"Nami-san, you're doing wonderfully," Margaret assured her as they sat outside the stadium under a tree. Sanji floated over and let Nami have her pick of the fruit juice he'd prepared for them in advance. Nami tossed him a desperate sounding 'thank you' and swallowed the first glass in one go, the second one in hot pursuit.

"When do you go, Margaret?" Luffy asked, plopping down next to her and leaning his grinning face over in a manner that had Sanji's annoyance meter threatening to crack. "Have you seen my face yet? Do ya like it? Here, touch it…"

Sanji grabbed the pineapple drink he'd brought for her and left the rest next to Nami, her thirst a bit more insatiable.

"I made this especially for you, my dear," he cooed, fisting half of Luffy's face in his hand and throwing him against a tree. "I hope it is to your liking."

"WHAT GIVES?" Luffy yelled, bark imprint visible on his face despite the hair.

"You must let ladies have their personal space," the cook said, as if it were common knowledge.

"Sanji-san, please let go of me," Margaret said quietly, held in a death hug as blood dripped out of Sanji's nose. Luffy narrowed his eyes and pointed.

"Hey, then why are you doing that?"

"I'm protecting her from you, ass wipe," Sanji stated, pressing Margaret's face to his chest. "She doesn't understand the evil of grotesque, indecent men like yourself."

"Look who's talking," Nami muttered in between gulps.

Luffy's eye twitched. What the fuck did 'grote…something' and 'indussENT' mean anyway… "Yeah, well, at least I don't get blood on everything."

"This is merely the sign that a woman has effected a man in a profoundly moving way."

"Uh-huh," Nami said, unamused and quenched enough to shove her foot in his face and drag Margaret away. The Amazon looked at her and smiled thankfully.

"Sanji-kun, I request a snack," Nami said, shaking out her hair and walking over to where a vendor was selling fruit. "Buy me something."

The cook immediately complied, leaping into action and leaving Margaret and Luffy alone. Nami fell back a step to give Margaret a wink, then left as well. The two blinked, then looked at each other.

"Do you wanna fight Nami?" he asked, sitting back in the grass. She shuffled her feet a little, then sat beside him.

"I think it would be interesting, but it seems nobody with the haki arrow's can touch her."

"Her climatact is scary," he agreed with a scratch of the nose, "Though, if I were able to fight her, it wouldn't be a problem since I'm made of rubber." His voice was pouty, still bitter that Hancock wasn't letting him take part. He glanced at Margaret's snake, resting peacefully on her shoulder. His hand reached out and gently rubbed its head, earning a flick of its forked tongue.

"He likes you," she said, beaming. Luffy laughed.

"Animal's listen to me if I use haki, but I don't always have to use it. Sometimes they just like me."

Margaret blushed and stared down at the ground, hugging her knees to her chest. He looked up from petting the snake to see her curled up and smiled when an idea came to him. He slid the fingers petting the snake over to her neck and stroked. She froze, and then shook a little with laughter. He grinned with playful satisfaction.

"You're ticklish."

She didn't deny it, but moved a hand to block her neck from his hands, still giggling a little. He sucked in his lips, eyes darting over her body for a new place to torture. She stared at him expectantly.

"Don't," she said warily.

He looked away with fake innocence, pouting lips whistling something off key. She frowned suspiciously.

"Well, see how _you_ like it," she muttered, reaching over and rubbing her fingers into his neck. She was caught off guard by just how bubbly he sounded when his ministrations were returned. He swatted at her hand, but the way his eyes twinkled she was almost positive he wanted her to try again.

Well, she had returned it, so there was no more obligation to continue on her end. She smiled wickedly and stood up, his confused and disappointed face making it hard to resist laughing. Without saying anything, she started walking off, turning over her shoulder once to stick her tongue out at him. And hell if he didn't look annoyed…

She had only gone a few steps when she felt a tug on her skirt. A glance through her peripheral's confirmed Luffy's stretched out arm was the one keeping her from going further. He let himself reel in until he was pouting up at her from the ground, her blushing and pulling her skirt back up to cover herself.

"Let go, Luffy."

His pout protruded ridiculously. "No. Play with me."

"Hebihime-sama will call the intermission over soon."

His eyes grew rounder, more moist. She raised an eyebrow.

"No."

"Just a_ little_ bit?"

"No."

"_Just until Hancock says to come back?_"

She sighed, reached down and pulled him up to his feet, dusting him off. She marveled at the grass stains on his elbow's and let her hands linger over his arms. He moved his face in her line of vision, a hopeful child afraid she'd forget what he wanted her to do.

"A little bit's okay, right?" he asked imploringly, moving a teasing finger to her neck. She flinched away, letting go of him and prancing out of his needy clutches.

"I need to focus on fighting," she giggled, pivoting out of his grasp again. The next time he turned to catch her, she took his hat from his head and shoved it over his face.

His heart leaped when he heard her whisper in his ear, "But, if it's just for a little bit…"

The hat fell from his dazed face, wide eye's gazing after her graceful, running form. He smiled goofily, grabbed his hat and gave chase, both of them disappearing beyond the trees.

* * *

Franky galloped across the battle ring, screaming and urging on the wave he'd started. Amazon's cheered enthusiastically, standing up as the body wave made its way over to each section. Robin remained sitting, nursing the champagne Sanji had brought her before going to see Nami, but used her arm's to lift Chopper in the air like a giggling baby while Usopp whistled and screamed for Nami to win. Brook used the acoustics to his advantage and played one of his more popular songs, _Sea of Panties_.

_All of this noise…_

Hancock rubbed at her head and groaned softly, her sister's too distracted with the show to pay attention. It was a little bit annoying, considering everyone in the audience apparently wanted the red-head to win. Hancock had specifically chosen which warrior's would take part in this contest, which one's would be an appropriate challenge to take her, the pirate empress, on at full force…

* * *

"Hebihime-sama doesn't look so good," Ran mused, looking up with some concern at Hancock's throned figure. Kikyo and Daisy looked up as well, the dark haired one frowning despite the cheering around her.

"She has not been well as of late I think. Several time's the swordsman has come into contact with her and she always appears to be in a weak state."

"Maybe she's not happy about how the match is going," Daisy suggested. "She has to fight Nami-san if she wins against you and Margaret, Kikyo."

Kikyo's face distorted in anguish. "I am torn between what I am to do. To hurt Nami-san's delicate frame would put a wound on my soul so large I may not be able to live with myself. Such a fair maiden. To cross weapon's with her is the cruelest fate destiny could have bestowed. And yet, if I let up, it would be a dishonor to both of us," she muttered sternly. "I will go at her with everything I have. Only then will the respect perhaps be mutual."

She went back to daydreaming, her two companion's again confused by the tint in her cheek's. Daisy snorted and ignored Ran's disapproving look.

* * *

"HE'S KIDNAPPED HER," Sanji screamed, tears rolling down his face, "THAT STUPID RUBBER DEVIANT HAS KIDNAPPED MY ANG-" Nami looped his 'Nami-san fight!' headband over his neck and tightened it so he might shut up. His face turned purple.

"Come on, lover boy," she sighed, dragging him back to the stadium and secretly wondering where her charges had run off to, "I'm sure he's just helping Margaret get ready for her fight. Besides, I bet Robin's waiting for you to refill her glass."

Sanji gasped in realization that she could be right, then immediately picked her up, running both of them back into the ring and depositing Nami before flinging himself up at Robin. He overcompensated so he didn't fall in the spike pit and smashed into the seating, Robin unfazed and Usopp and Chopper staring on with looks of pity. Nami completely forgot about him and went on to blow kisses to her fan's, Franky shooting off a rocket into the air to announce her arrival.

* * *

Hancock willed her headache away as Brook struck the last notes of the song on his guitar and stood up to officially announce the commencement of the tournament.

"Anee-sama, I know you're probably wondering where Roronoa-san is-"

"_Huh?_" Hancock sneered scarily, voice cracked and every vein visible on her face amplifying the annoyance she was feeling. "I could have _sworn_ you just said someone's name, but it has such little significance to what I'm about to do that I can't be bothered to think about it. _So refrain from using it again_," she finished dangerously. She turned and smiled to the crowd in case Luffy was watching.

"The tournament, with the return of our current champion, can now commence. The next opponent," she paused and gestured towards the gates again, "Noble Marg-"

She was cut off by the whizz of an arrow flying at her forehead. It was caught between two agitated finger's, the tip crushed as the entire thing turned to stone. Hancock narrowed her eye's and ignored the surprised gasps of her sibling's and the crowd, looking out at the old woman now standing across from her on the stadium's tier.

"My pupil would like to go next," Nyon said sagely, Zoro's figure leaping up to join her. He wobbled a little, sticking one of his sword's in the stone of the support to keep his balance.

"Your pupil can go drown," the empress said without a hint of sarcasm. Zoro wasn't in the mood to joke anyway.

"Do you know how _long_ I _waited_ for you?" he yelled across the murmur's of the women and the confused stares of his crew mate's, "I didn't sleep because your palace is too goddamn hard to find, and then when I finally got back, everybody said you were gone."

"Not my fault," she said icily. "I told you where to be, and now you've come all this way to make a fool of yourself in front of everyone. You should've stayed on your ship."

"Now you're worried about me making a fool of myself?" he scoffed. "Where's the heartless witch who would've given anything to have a go at me?"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL, MARIMO, TALKING TO HANCOCK-DONO IN SUCH A FAMILIAR TONE?" Sanji bellowed harshly, held back by Chopper and Robin's combined effort's.

"If that's what you want," she seethed, "then I pity your brainlessness. I was not even able to give you the grace of basic haki knowledge. In your absence the navigator has done very well. I wonder if you have the strength to defeat her."

"You don't need to worry about me," he growled.

"I taught him in your stead," Nyon said with some annoyance, hopping down from their perch. "I found him wandering around and figured you hadn't done your job correctly, so I took it upon myself."

Zoro nodded at her and glared. "What she said."

"Your impertinence is otherworldly," Hancock mused, shaking her head. "I am to be blamed for your complete incompetence. Fine. You will fight the navigator. We'll see how well the old woman taught you."

"Don't tell me what to do," he muttered, jumping the rest of the way to the ring, knee's bending under the force of his own landing. Nami stared at him with an eyebrow raised, watching him tie his bandana over his green hair. He finally balled his robe up, threw it at Sanji whose mouth was finally muffled, and sniffed.

"Hope you're ready, Nami. I'm tired, and you know how I get," he said in his low timbre, teeth tracing the handle of Ichimonji.

The eyes of the women in the audience sparkled and there was much 'ooo-ing' in admiration of his cool persona. Hancock couldn't help noticing that every time he made her want to vomit she hadn't eaten enough to do so.

* * *

Her smell was _everywhere_. Every time he moved to a new spot, it wasn't even noise she was making that indicated she'd been there. It was just her _smell_. His nostril's flared, eyes darting around the clearing as he tried to figure out where she was hiding. Of course, using haki to sense her presence probably would've been an option, but half the fun of their strange game was in him just blindly stumbling about.

"Margaret~" he called, knowing she probably wouldn't answer, "It's no fun if you just hide all the time…"

Her heart pounded with anticipation as she listened to him walk a little closer to the tree she was hiding behind.

"Then hurry up and find me," she challenged, moving her hand's to peek around the trunk. He wasn't visible from where she was standing, so she slid a little further around. She flinched involuntarily and then smiled to herself when there was a stroke at the back of her neck. Her snake retreated into some bushes upon seeing Margaret's attacker trying to be sneaky.

"Don't tickle me," she giggled, trying to escape by pivoting over some roots. He met her with a grin and felt that strange adrenaline rush that sometimes came with hearing her squeal out in surprise. Her hand's folded into his and he playfully brought her back against the tree, moving to tickle her unguarded stomach.

"Don't, don't, don't," she pleaded, wondering at the contrast between her own verbal wishes and what her actions were saying. It would've been easy to at least ward him off for a second. He didn't know the woods as well as she did. Letting him do it to her was just something that floated naturally between them; some strange kind of pact. She knew they were just having fun, and he knew she secretly liked it.

"Hancock was sayin' somethin'. You ran off before I could hear though…" He blew air in her ear and she shrieked in laughter, his finger's prodding at her belly. Her reaction only encouraged him further, and soon she was completely at his mercy.

"Lu-Luffy, stop!"

"Nuh-uh," he said with a 'shishishi'. Her chin tilted in such a way that he could claim his usual resting place and nuzzled her with his nose. She blinked and was instantly reminded of a similar situation…

"Hey," she said softly, becoming acutely aware of just how naked his chest was.

"Hm." His tickling had now evolved into warm, sensual strokes over her almost equally naked skin.

"Luffy," she said flatly.

"Whaaaat~"

"We're not…doing 'that'."

Instead of denying his intention's like she'd expected, she felt him press himself closer to her and could swear she heard him take a long, deep sniff.

"Nobody will interrupt us," he reasoned quietly, still having trouble categorizing her scent…

"You just want me to touch 'it'," she accused, wrenching his face from her neck and looking him in the eye over his squished lips. He looked away, ever the horrible liar.

"It's just a little bit."

"You know that's not how it works," she said, sighing and patting his cheek. "It would start out with just a little bit, and then we'd start acting weird."

"But nobody'd see us," he pointed out. "And it's a good feeling, right? You like it, right?"

She looked unsure of what to do, blushing and trying to shrink out of his hold. Luffy wasn't inexperienced at weedling his way into people's favor, though.

"You get a weird feeling here," he murmured, touching a hand to his own stomach, "And then you feel all warm and stuff…"

She closed her eyes and turned away, trying to ignore his faces descent to her neck. He took her silence as agreement.

"I like it when you laugh and touch me," he breathed, scraping her shoulder with his scruff, "and when I touch you…"

"Luffy," was all she could mutter as he engulfed her, still murmuring in her ear and moving his hand's to her back. She blinked slowly, some raven hair caught in her parted lips.

"Wish I was smarter," he finished, planting an experimental kiss on her exposed throat, "If I was smart like Robin I might get it…"

Her fingers came up to touch the brim of his hat, resting between his shoulder's by its string. Suppressing the moans had been easy until he'd decided to copy her method's and use his tongue.

"Let's play Come and Go," she muttered in that cool way she said stuff when she liked how he touched her. His nostril's flared in excitement when he felt her reach for the yellow sash he usually wore at his waist, only to come up empty. She had forgotten about the loin cloth…

"You guys are so weird," she said with a shake of the head, ignoring his whining when she didn't move to take it off. "My fight might start soon. Let's go back."

"I refuse," he said, glaring so ridiculously she snorted behind her hand in laughter. She moved it up to sift through his messy hair and blushed when she thought of an idea…

"You just want me to touch your kintama," she whispered slowly, tugging a little at the fabric. There was no noticeable response besides a lazy nod into her neck, so she kept going.

"And…your 'thing'," she sighed, feeling the warmth pooling between her own thighs at the thought, "Your thing likes it when I touch it…"

He groaned and brought his pelvis up to rub at her leg, verbal description's of what he might like her to do making him a bit more aggressive. She didn't mind, especially when his tongue got familiar with her collar bone. She stroked at the 'V' that led down into what was already half an erection. His moans were bigger than her's, more urgent, and accented with a staggered heaving of the chest. She wasn't sure why this was so attractive, but it was.

"Luffy," she cooed teasingly, "would you like it if I touched you?"

"_Yes_," he pleaded, whimpering pathetically into her shoulder.

She hummed and licked his ear lobe, "And would you like it, if I finished you?" Her eyelid's flitted at the thought of the pleasure he'd feel, "Can I help make you feel good?" She bit down cautiously on the ear flesh and moaned, "Until you leak?"

His flushed face slid up from where it had been hiding, a cry of tortured arousal lost when their lips connected in a sloppy, amateur kiss; their first kiss. She blinked in surprise, especially when he pulled back and she found herself wanting to do it again.

"What was that?" she panted, going about removing her top. He watched with hooded eyes.

"Don't know…just kinda felt like doing it." He shook with anticipation as her clothes came up to cover his eyes, her smell even stronger now. When he was completely blinded, she moved to kiss him just as crudely as before, the simple sensation combined with the insecurity of not being able to see giving his cock the final push it needed to solidify. She traded places with him and leaned him onto the tree.

"_Let's play_," she whispered, nuzzling his neck and pushing her hand's down to take hold of him.

* * *

"Oh, the pain," Nami moaned over dramatically, clutching her stomach and writhing around on the ground like a fish out of water. Zoro stood staring at her, dumbfounded, the rest of the stadium unsure of what was happening.

"I…I don't think I can go on," the red-head claimed loudly, hands clawing at her body and eyes staring up at Zoro. "You…you win."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'YOU WIN'? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PLAYING AT? I HAVEN'T EVEN TOUCHED YOU."

"MARIMO, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO NAMI-SWAN?"

"NAMI! ARE YOU HURT?" Chopper screamed from the stands, Robin cringing at Nami's pathetic spectacle.

"What seems to be the problem?" Hancock thundered, eyes narrowing suspiciously. Nami struggled to stand up, raising an arm in pleading towards the empress.

"Your Grace! I humbly request a draw! Zoro wins. I can go no further. The cramps," she cried, "The cramps I have are unbearable."

The sword dropped from Zoro's mouth, his eyes staring in disgusted disbelief at what was coming out of his comrade's mouth.

"IT'S ALL MY FAULT," Sanji sobbed, leaning over the wall a little too far and requiring Robin's assistance to keep himself from committing accidental suicide, "IF I HADN'T GIVEN HER ALL THOSE FLUIDS SHE WOULD BE ABLE TO CONTINUE."

"The pain," she cried again, collapsing back to the ground, "I feel I am dying."

"I WILL HEAL YOUR PAIN WITH MY ETERNAL LOVE," Sanji cried, leaping off the wall. He might've landed nicely next to Nami's crumpled body had someone else not kicked him out of the way and dashed to her side instead.

"Nami-san!" Kikyo cried, making Nami's eyes widen with panic as she was taken into her arms and cradled like a broken doll. "Please hold on. We will take care of you." She moved to caress Nami's cheek. "I will take care of you." Beautiful, glittering roses surrounded them, enhancing their features until they were both almost too dazzling to stare at.

"What is this," Usopp wondered out loud, sweat dropping. Sanji's tears were torn between mourning his loss of the princely role he'd always presumed he led in Nami's life and being slightly overjoyed at the sight of two beautiful women in such a moving scene before him. His slow dripping nosebleed told the rest of the story.

Zoro was at a complete loss for words, and moving on to a general detachment from the rest of human kind. It was like a never ending parade of shit he couldn't even begin to comprehend.

"NAMI-NEE! DON'T DIE," Franky screamed, rivers of water streaming out of his eyes. Robin sighed in embarrassment and half amusement at his use of the entrailment of fabric coming out of his loin cloth as a huge tissue. Brook was playing his violin. Out of nowhere.

Hancock's eye twitched, not quite sure if this was a mockery of her culture's ancient tradition's or just how fucked up her crush's crew actually was.

"This wasn't happening before you showed up," she growled down at Zoro. He didn't respond. How could he. She was _right_.

"Please, Hebihime-sama," Kikyo pleaded passionately, lifting Nami into her arms, "Please allow me to nurse her back to health. I will be dropping out of the competition. I forfeit over to the swordsman on Nami-san's behalf."

"Fine," Hancock yelled, flinging her hands into the air. "BY ALL MEANS, surrender to this sad excuse for a man. _All the better for me_," she spat a bit too loudly, stepping down the stairs despite the protests of her sister's to stay put. "If Noble Margaret has nothing to say as well, it appears I will be the opponent of the default champion."

She scanned the crowd, finding no such objection. She turned her eyes over to Zoro, reaching the ring and circling him as the lioness circles its casually chanced upon lunch.

"It would seem, stupid swordsman," she said acidicly, rolling her spine to stare at the sky and gesturing at him with a fancy finger, "that the time for me to crush you has finally come."

Nyon sweat dropped, sighing at the invisible, but unbelievably heavy tension swirling over the battle ring.

Zoro spat into the dust and replaced Ichimonji as Kikyo retreated with a weakly protesting Nami. His hands moved to grasp the other two sword's.

"I have a bad feeling," Chopper admitted out loud despite the eerie quiet in the stands, keeping an eye on Sanji's crude blood transfusion taking place beside him. Franky bit his nails in anticipation. Even Robin looked a little unsure of what to expect.

A faint 'EIGHTY PERCENT OF YOUR WINNINGS ARE MINE' floated in from outside the gates, Nami apparently still holding on as best she could despite her condition.

When had the mighty Roronoa Zoro become such a little bitch? Does something like that just happen practically overnight?

He stared over at the woman who apparently was making it all possible and took his stance.

One thing was for sure: as soon as this bitch was done getting everyone off his dick, he was taking the longest, hardest, most uninterrupted nap of his life.


	11. Once Upon A Ball Grab

**A/N:** _Please enjoy~_

* * *

**Suppressed**

**Ch. 11: Once Upon a Ball Grab**

* * *

The first ever rain storm on Amazon Lily. Man-made, but it still counted.

"Nami-saaaan~" came the womens' swooning calls as the Straw Hat navigator trudged through run-off water, mud and grass on her way up the dirt road. She felt bad for them. They weren't used to rain. Many of them had welcomed it, running about after the danger of flames and smoke had been cleared, but some were understandably upset. Heavy layers of the mixture came up to her ankles and caked over her open toed sandals. She tried not to make noises of disgust when she felt the stuff squish between her toes.

"Nami-san, it would be no issue for me to carry you," Kikyo coaxed gently, unaffected by the down pour and losing no ground keeping up with the fuming object of her affections. Nami didn't even acknowledge the offer. She did start moving more quickly when the path leading up to the palace came into view.

"Since I am of no more use, I can accompany you no further," the Amazon's deep voice informed her, receiving a curt nod and pained smile as proof that she'd been heard.

"Thank you for your help up to this point," Nami muttered through the rain, ignoring how completely soaked she was now.

The last to leave the scene of probably the biggest disaster to take place on Amazon Lily in its history. She had barely let Kikyo talk her into letting the clouds run their course and get some sleep before coming back tomorrow. She was utterly humiliated.

Anger. Humilation. Exhaustion. Anger. Fatigue. Chafing around her waist line? And her boobs felt gross now that the suit top was all wet. Just the rain. Anger…

Before she could get a grasp on how much time it had taken her to finally reach the impressive double doors leading into the huge foyer of the palace, she had harnessed all of these overwhelming feelings and wrenched them open. She paused dramatically, waiting until she had the attention of every face in the room before kicking them closed and narrowing her eyes to blood-thirsty slits.

"What. Happened."

Usopp, Sanji, Franky, and Brook were all seated on an ornate rug in front of the roaring flames of a fire one of Hancock's servants had stoked. The light glistened off of their rain drenched forms, large welts developing where their navigator's unbiased fists had earlier left their mark. Usopp turned slowly to glare at Brook. He in turn cocked his head at Sanji, who muttered through his wilting cigarette at Franky, who being last in the line of accused felons, turned his eyes to…

"Robin, what happened," Nami repeated more softly. She couldn't seem to get a straight answer out of everyone else.

"Don't ask her what happened," Usopp said, glaring at Robin. "She started it. But she'll never admit it."

"I fail to see how any of what your childish game escalated into has anything to do with me," the archaeologist said calmly, slipping a hand through her smoothed back hair and crossing her legs. She chuckled. "Your antics certainly lead to some interesting things, but I never expected that…"

"I've endured so much embarrassment. We're just lucky they haven't kicked us out. And I'm sure you have me to thank since I arranged for us all to help rebuild," Nami said with quiet intensity, arms folding to try to hold herself back from killing everyone. "You guys aren't hard to read. We can barely take you in public. But THIS? Are you KIDDING me?"

"It wasn't…that bad, was it?" Usopp asked weakly. "I kinda passed out from smoke inhalation, so…"

"YOU DESTROYED THE GODDAMN STADIUM."

"Okay, destroyed is a bit much," Franky tried to defend. "It's nothing we won't be able to fix before we leave…"

"What about Sunny's roof? I thought that was supposed to take a week."

"I finished it already," the cyborg shrugged.

"Then _all of you_ will be spending your time here helping rebuild their stadium. And it will look TWICE as good as it did originally. You get me?" Nami said threateningly. "I might have to lower the money that Empress owes me because of this. If that happens, you all owe me the difference."

"I can pay you in love, my goddess," Sanji piped up.

"I don't want your love unless it's in beri form," she growled, turning back to Robin. "I do want to know how the hell we got to this point, though."

"It's just as it looks," Robin said simply. "Franky-san blew up the stadium."

"YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE I DID IT ON PURPOSE," he yelled, jaw dropping in disbelief at her blatant denial of any involvement. Robin turned away from him, going about as far as was her capability to act like she was ignoring someone. His face fell even more.

"It's mostly because this idiot set off the rocket's by accident," Usopp added quickly with a nod at Sanji, trying to help Franky out a little without putting himself in hot water. "He got pissed because-"

"Because this perverted hunk of junk was molesting Robin-chan," Sanji said plainly, giving a cold glare to the ship-wright but going no further so as not to invite more of Nami's wrath. Franky was at a loss for words. It seemed the entire world was against him and he hadn't even done anything.

"He was not molesting her," Usopp said flatly, "she grabbed his balls. And since she has the convenient use of her arms to consider, it might've been a bit hard for him to escape."

"Robin-chan would never do such a thing on a whim," Sanji said with an indifferent wave of the hand.

"I simply grew tired of his noise and desired he quiet down," Robin explained.

"So you grab his balls and make him scream even louder?" Usopp said, unconvinced. Robin's hard stare had him shrinking within himself.

"Robin," Nami said tiredly, playing the motherly mediator between children, "why did you grab Franky's balls?"

"I wasn't even bein' that loud! Zoro-aniki wasn't doin' so hot so I tried to give him some encouragement…"

"Oh," Usopp said, sudden realization hitting and his face breaking into a sly grin. "I get it now…"

"Get what?" Nami asked.

Usopp nodded and crossed his arms. "If I recall, this might've been the cause…"

* * *

_"IF YOU FALL ASLEEP AGAIN I'LL REALLY KILL YOU," Hancock screamed, tilting over one hand and barraging her opponent with windmill kicks. He blocked, more focused than he normally would be on defense. If the haki faltered she'd turn his swords to stone, and that would be the end of it._

_"Zoro really seems to be struggling," Chopper noted worriedly. He had never seen Zoro have to fight this way. And with the added bonus of going more than twenty-four hours without sleep, not even one of his usual naps, it was clear that Hancock probably had the upper hand. Or leg. She liked to use her legs a lot._

_"GOOOO~ HANCOCK-SWAN," Sanji shrieked, small spurts of blood shuddering out of his nose every time she splayed her legs to attack or block and nearly revealed her pantiless nether regions. Brook had flipped his 'SHOW ME YOUR PANTIES' sign over and scribbled 'SHOW ME YOUR NOT PANTIES' with a marker and waved it whenever she decided to oblige them._

_"I suppose this is another reason there're no men allowed," Usopp muttered, stuffing tissue up his nose._

_"YOU CAN DO IT, ZORO-ANIKI," Franky called over all of his anti-fans, "EVEN IF HER BOOBS AND LEGS AND STUFF ARE SUPER DISTRACTING!"_

* * *

"They were not that distracting," Robin said with controlled poise. "And he was right next to my ear."

"I see," Nami said with flat sarcasm. "That definitely calls for a ball grab."

"She was poppin' out all over," Franky muttered. "Not like I was lookin' on purpose…and everyone else saw it too…"

"That still doesn't explain an explosion," Nami reminded them. Sanji exhaled smoke and jabbed a thumb at Franky.

"When I tried to stop him we set off the rockets, Nami-san."

"There was nothing to stop that was within your control," Usopp pointed out again. "This whole thing involving destruction of property can actually be put on you."

"It was probably you that set the stupid things off," Sanji retorted. "You wouldn't get off me."

"Well, you wouldn't settle down. And Franky couldn't do much with his junk in a vice," the sniper said pointedly, glancing at Robin. She pretended she hadn't heard him and stared at the fire.

"…So this entire fiasco," Namis started, "was caused by a ball grab."

"Yep," everyone nodded in agreement except Robin. "That sounds about right."

"You guys are all condemned to spend the rest of our time here rebuilding and servicing," her voice resounded through the room, passing final judgement. "And Robin…"

The archaeologist looked at her expectantly. Nami shook her head and waved at her. "Be more gentle next time."

"THAT'S IT?" Franky and Usopp screamed. "SHE DOESN'T GET A PUNISHMENT?"

"We're all going to help rebuild anyway, you guys just have to do the hard stuff," she offered brightly. "We'll oversee your progress."

"THAT'S NOT EVEN FAIR."

"Brook, you've been fairly quiet this whole time," Nami noticed, turning to where he sat. She tilted her head when he didn't answer. "Brook?"

"Brook? You alright?" Usopp asked.

Robin blinked. "Perhaps his spirit is out and about for the moment."

"That bastard hasn't even been listening to me," Nami muttered. "What role did he play in all of this anyway…"

The three remaining men looked at each other. Sanji said, "I honestly don't remember. After the rockets hit and Robin-chan used her hands to block the force of the explosions…"

"Actually," Usopp added on, "I think he might've gone out to help Zoro and Hancock."

"My hands can only do so much," Robin said solemnly. "I didn't even think about it until-"

"It was not your responsibility, Robin-chan. We all acted irresponsibly. Your quick thinking saved us from more serious embarrassment," Sanji interrupted her. He frowned. "That might explain how he had to drag them both out afterwards."

Nami blinked. "He did?"

"Yeah," Usopp confirmed. "After you showed up to make it rain and stop the fires and stuff, Brook was gone, and then he came out dragging both of them. They didn't really look hurt, but they had both passed out."

"Well, the only reason you know that is 'cause I told you after I had to carry your candy-ass out, Mister Smoke Inhalation," Franky muttered. Usopp glared at him.

"Maybe Chopper called for him. But then it might make more sense to take the rest of his body," Sanji offered, getting to his feet. "Is there any more that we can do for tonight before we turn in, Nami-san?"

The red-head sighed. "No, I suppose not. I'm going to make sure I haven't flooded anything and then perhaps check on Chopper to see if Brook stopped by."

"I guess we've gotta get up early anyway, huh," Usopp sighed.

The men were shown to their rooms by an attendant who said she would also bring them some supper since they hadn't eaten yet. Franky scratched his head and sighed once he and Usopp were behind closed doors.

"Worst. Day. Ever," Usopp decided, plopping on his bed. He looked over at Luffy's and was in wonderment at how lucky he had been to get off scott-free since he hadn't even been around when the whole catastrophe had taken place. Apparently he'd been off "training" with his girlfriend, and gotten back just as all the excitement was starting to get under control. Then, even better, he'd claimed to not feel well enough to stick around and back up his buds when he knew Nami was going to go on a rampage. He'd retired early, apparently without even wanting anything to eat. Usopp glowered at a wall.

_Probably came back to jack off. I didn't used to have to worry about these things. Now I can't help but wonder if he's at least evolved hygienically as well…_

The sniper shuddered. Both in disgust and slight arousal.

"The cook's the one that nearly got us all killed," Franky grunted, the last of the beds bouncing under his large size. "And yet all of this is being put on me…"

"Dude, just tell Robin you've got the hots for her," the long-nose grumbled over at him. He ignored Franky's flush of surprise and said, "She obviously got jealous of your eye solicitation of another girl."

Franky didn't say anything, but got up to answer the door when there was a knock. The smell of seasoned, warmed meat and vegetables met Usopp's nose, and he let his still semi-bitter feelings get the better of him. Bitter? Was it better to wake Luffy from his dreams of another woman with the excuse that he should eat? Well, that seemed valid.

Usopp smirked, chuckling at the thought of interrupting Luffy mid-dream fuck and watching his best friend's torn face as he contemplated being angry at or thanking the sniper. He'd never had reason to wonder before, but would Luffy be the type to bypass food for sex? Had he and that girl even done it yet?

No better time than the present to find out. They'd have a nice man-to-man chat over some delectable island cuisine.

"Luffyyy~" Usopp drawled, crawling over the rest of is own bed before leaping and tackling his friend. He pulled back the comforter dramatically and flayed his hands.

"It is I! The Great Captain Usooooopp~! Here to inform you that the food has…uh…"

Empty. He was straddling two pillows topped with the hat, which was apparently worth leaving behind for just anyone to collect at the price that the bed's supposed occupant not be discovered as missing. Usopp felt particularly retarded that he had fallen for this trick, especially now that he was looking at what was, after a second look, a pretty obvious failed attempt to make a bed double.

"Whoa," Franky said, eyeing the lack of captain under Usopp's thighs and raising his eyebrows as he wheeled in the food. "Mugiwara bailed?" His face slowly broke into a proud grin, thinking of a couple scenes he'd read from the play he'd borrowed. "Bet he's out playin' Romeo."

"I wonder," Usopp mused, lifting the hat with one finger and flipping it onto his own head. "Guess this means we shouldn't wait up."

* * *

Hancock awoke to the familiar snoring of her youngest sister. Her upper body was curled over her folded arms, waiting for her anee-sama to come to. Sonia was at the foot of the bed, passed out with Hancock's blanket covered feet squished by her breasts. The Empress, however uncomfortable she was with Mari's orange hair threatening to invade her mouth and Sonia's body crushing her legs, made no movement and smiled.

"Oh," Chopper whispered, smiling and crossing from his little work area he'd designated in the corner of her room to look up over the bed side at her, "You're up! Are you feeling any better?"

Hancock blinked at the furry doctor, still curious as to how Luffy had managed to find him. Another thing that was uniquely Luffy.

_Animal doctor's…skeleton musician's…sea-weed swordsmen…_

"What happened to me," she asked softly, lifting herself up on her elbows.

"You didn't suffer from any major injuries, but your sisters were worried when you started sweating and talking in your sleep, so I gave you a bit of herb I had in my bag. Hopefully you can sleep better now. Though I guess it's natural to wake around this time since you went to sleep earlier…"

So that was the unpleasant taste in her mouth...

"Thank you," she said, looking down at Sonia and sighing. "I'm afraid I…I was a bit exhausted. I sometimes have nightmares if I bear more stress than usual…"

"That's common," Chopper assured her. "You don't hafta talk about it if ya don't wanna," he said kindly, "but if you like, I'll listen." He put his elbows up on the bed and smiled. "Zoro always listens to my bad dreams. And then he tucks me back in."

Hancock's eyes widened a bit before softening. "Surely you don't expect me to believe that same man I was fighting tucks children in and listens to dreams."

"I'm not a child," Chopper pouted. "I'm a man. Even Zoro says so. He's brave. But he's nice."

Hancock's heart sagged in her chest. It seemed she was still destined to learn unnecessary pieces of information about the man supposedly on his way to being the best swordsman in the world; letting ones such as herself call him a beast while indulging in the admiration of the innocent and pure. Somehow she felt tricked. And then she realized that she had probably already known all of this, but spent her time looking for things to support her argument that he just a giant prick.

She reflected on their spar.

_He is…the opposite of me._

Having been admired for her exterior her entire life, maybe not even Luffy could successfully shake the label's she'd placed on every man besides him. But could she be blamed? He was sly. But he was good. He was a detestable man. And yet, in being a detestable man, he had found a way to gain the love of this furry little…

She stared at Chopper as he waddled over with a glass of water for her.

…thing. The swordsman had the admiration of 'things'. Things like deer-raccoons. And puppies. And his crew mate's. And Luffy.

Roronoa Zoro had the knowledge of the world, and chose to challenge it under the pretense that his heart be shrouded by his fierce reputation. He kept it hidden, hated and feared by all except those that mattered. Whereas Hancock, loved and desired by all, could not find enough goodness in her heart to reach out to those she loved.

"…and then this one time, Zoro got stuck in a chimney and I had to get him unstuck."

"He sounds like an idiot," she mumbled, turning away and sipping her water.

"He is," Chopper said plainly before wiggling happily. "But he loves us."

The dullest, longest, fullest ache yet pooled in her bosom. Water filled her mouth, and then she decided to swallow.

"He was hurt when we were brought in," she said, pulling her legs free of Sonia and smiling a bit at Chopper. "May I see him?"

Chopper blinked, then blushed a little with a nod.

"Mm!"

* * *

"I don't understand it, Brook," Luffy stated, pushing his hands through his hair and blinking and stumbling over his feet as he walked through the muddy streets of Amazon Lily. Brook's spirit cast just enough glow to help him see where he was going, listening to his captain rant about these strange, unexplained things that kept happening to him.

"She's _magic_," he gushed, eyes glittering and walking backwards so they were eye to eye-socket. "She makes me feel all…ah, I don't KNOW." He walked in a figure eight, skipped a little, pulled at his hair, flailed in the wrong direction, came back, twirled, then repeated the cycle. Brook watched with grand-fatherly patience.

When he was finally a little more settled, he heaved a sigh and asked, "Are people supposed to do things like that to each other? Touch like that? Whatever this is…" He squished his lips up and kissed his own wrist. "Like that! Lip smushies. And I wanna do them all over! And her noises…and oh, geez, Brook, I dunno…" After another energetic leap to the side and back, he giggled and said, "I feel real good when I'm with her. It's the same as when I'm with you guys, 'cept crazier…weirder…touchier…but _I like it_."

Brook chuckled and floated near his captain's shoulder. "You sound like you might, perhaps, be in love, Luffy-san. Though, I have no ears to hear. YOHOHOHO~"

Luffy grinned at the sky and sighed, stretching. "Is that what that is? Aw, Hancock always went on about that stuff, but I never really got it. But is that the same? I mean, I feel awesome! I wanna see her! I wanna touch her! I want her to touch me! I-"

"Let's keep our voices down as well as the graphics," Brook cackled. "You've made me feel young again with all of these stories. To see my wonderful captain experience such a thing, ah, it makes my heart ache with happiness. If I had a heart! YOHOHOHO~"

Luffy shishishi-d and smiled hugely, Margaret's house coming into view. Brook paused with him, chuckling at the love-sick sigh that escaped those stretched lips.

"Be a man for her, Luffy-san. Make her feel like a woman."

Luffy hadn't really heard him, drowsy eyes blinking lazily as he floated away. Every once in a while he'd trip over his own feet and catch himself, continuing on like a trooper. Brook watched and sighed whimsically.

"Ah, young love. Though I never thought Luffy-san would take an interest in such things. Perhaps there's a lesson to be learned here…"

Luffy finally tripped beyond the point of no return and fell face first into a huge mud puddle. He regained his feet and wobbled up to the small house, basically a mindless zombie programmed to find and feast on whatever Margaret felt obliged to offer him at this hour of the night. Covered in mud.

"Love is most certainly blind," Brook finished before floating back to the palace. "Especially if it's dark out and you are a skeleton-spirit with no eye balls. YOHOHOHO~"

* * *

Franky was pissed. And not just because everyone was pushing most of the blame on him for this. No, this was about sexism. This was about justice and how he had been denied it simply because he had a dick and Robin did not. He had been sexually harassed, and yet nobody seemed to care.

_You always act so cool and collected…I finally get you to crack a little and I get burned. Literally._

Well. Not tonight. Not this robot guy. Franky wanted blood, and he was going to make sure he got it.

First, he'd knock on the door. Then, he'd glare at her once she opened the door in her sexy night attire…

_NO. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT SHE WANTS. SHE PROBABLY ALREADY KNOWS I'M COMING TO YELL AT HER AND WILL TRY TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT._

"'_Nobody will ever have boobs that are as distracting as yours'_…no, that sounds creepy…uh…" He searched for the words he had contemplated saying earlier, but now the image of her in her nightie was liquifying his thoughts into alphabet soup. And that was NOT his intention ANYWAY. He was not seeking out Nico Robin to apologize. No, SHE would apologize to HIM for fondling him in public. And without his _permission_. Uh…maybe that was beside the point...

_SHIT. WHERE'S MY MANLY RESOLVE. THIS IS NOT SUPER._

And then, suddenly, Hell's gate, the girls' room, was in front of him. He tightened his jaw, cleared his throat and strutted his speedo-clad self right up to it, raising a fist to the door and preparing to give Nico Robin the spanking of her life- NO. NO. YELLING. THAT'S WHAT HE WAS GOING TO DO. YELL-

"OH. YES. Right _there_…"

Three phrases every man could instinctively archive as sexual floated through the door wood. Franky was blasted back a good three feet with the mere force of the nosebleed his brain had triggered the_milli-second_ it had recognized the owner's voice. And if anyone had ever fantasized about hearing that particular succession of pleads come out Nico Robin's mouth, it was Franky.

_WHAT THE HELL._

There it was _again_, followed by the deep, sexy grunts of a very frustrated, very needy woman.

"Oh- oh- yes…YES… oh, yes, Franky, your COCK…"

Franky's mind avoided immediate collapse in making a simple observation: this string of noises was heavily muffled, meaning one of two things could be happening behind this door; 1) Nico Robin was going to town on herself with a pillow over her face; or 2) Nico Robin was on her elbows and knees, going to town on herself and screaming into the bed sheets.

And most important of all: it didn't even matter. Because he was the only Franky with a cock on this island, and as far as he knew, the only one Nico Robin was acquainted with. Himself. Not his cock. But apparently she was considering it- NO. FOCUS.

"Un- un- nng- aah- oh- OH…"

_Wait_. _Wait just one goddamn minute_. Who did she take him for? Some perverted sap? This was obviously a ploy. He was dealing with a woman who had weird powers involving spying and stuff…she had probably already known he was on the way here and prepared to catch him off guard.

"Deeeeepeeeer~ PLEASE," she cried. He gave her an 'A' for effort, but the more he listened, the less this sounded like a woman going about the natural business of relieving herself. This was like, bitch in heat, rolling around humping whatever could be humped level noise. Not that seeing her do something like that wouldn't be a turn-on but- GOD FUCKING DAMMIT, NO.

_That woman is probably sitting on that bed with a pillow over her face trying to hide her laughter until I leave._

He glanced at the surrounding hall and ceiling, expecting to see an indicator that her devil fruit was in use. Not that he could rely on that alone.

There was no way in hell Nico Robin was in her room masturbating. Especially after the day they'd just had. The _last_ thing he expected her to do after giving him the silent treatment and getting him in trouble was lock herself away to flip the bean. That wasn't even realistic. _Or wait_. Had she thought of that? Had she thought he would think about this? Just how deep did the deception GO?

Another enthusiastic cry for him to fuck her. He smiled craftily and ignored his boner. He would not acknowledge this bullshit as fap worthy. Nico Robin was about to get the wake up call of the century; that she was not as smart as she thought she was, that she did not have absolute control over his emotions, and that her porn star act was a joke.

* * *

"He probably won't wake up for all of tomorrow either," Chopper said good-naturedly, replacing Zoro's salve. Hancock sat in a chair on the other side of the bed, watching with sleepy eyes. The half-dead swordsman would let out a monstrous snore every once in a while and jolt her from the half conscious state.

"It's understandable I suppose," she murmured, stealing a glance at her reflection in a gold vase of flowers on the end table. The bags under her eyes were noticeable, even through the warped curve of the metal.

"You should go back to bed," Chopper urged gently, finishing with his friend's bandages and hopping down. "You probably didn't get any good sleep if your nightmares were troubling you."

"I'm fine. I'll just…sit here for a bit and then come back. If you would, though, wake my sister's and have them return to their room's."

Chopper nodded and smiled, looking back over his shoulder as he opened the door to exit the room. From there, her eyes looked sadly at the burn on Zoro's lower back. Nothing serious, but taking into consideration his obsession with keeping scars on his front, Chopper was curious as to how it had gotten there.

"Hancock-sama," he said softly, tilting his head when she turned to acknowledge him.

"If nothing had happened, who do you suppose would've won the match? You or Zoro?"

* * *

"Aw, come on, Margaret, don't be like that," Luffy whined, leaning his elbows on the glassless window sill and watching her prepare something for herself for dinner from outside.

"Get out of here, Luffy. I'm not in the mood to see you right now," she muttered, chopping vegetables passive aggressively. "You should be back at the palace explaining to your crew how close they came to causing a complete catastrophe for us with something so stupid."

Luffy pouted and twiddled his thumbs. "I'll do it tomorrow. Hancock and everyone else got out safely, right? It was just an accident. Zoro's the only one with some sort of burn thing and he gets hurt all the time…"

The force of the chop Margaret made sent the top of a carrot flying in his direction. He dodged, but sweat dropped at the glare she had turned to give him. Stupidity, though, made him unwilling to give up just yet. He glowered back.

"Why are you so mad, huh?"

Margaret moved to bring the pot out back to the fire she'd built earlier for Sweet Pea to make Aphelandra some food. The giantess was on guard duty and had been helping over at the stadium all day, taking no time to eat. When Luffy had shown up, dirty and expecting a bit more than she felt like giving at the moment, she'd banished him to the outside and tried to ignore all of his whining - it was harder than she ever would've imagined.

"Don't ignore me," came his whiny voice again, walking across the yard to stand over her as she re-stoked the fire and put the food over it.

"Just go away," she murmured, sitting on the ground and looking out at the forest's edge. She didn't want to yell and wake the neighbors. So as punishment for her consideration, Luffy ignored her and sat down too. She glared and scooted away, both because he was being annoying and he didn't seem to mind that he was covered in filth. His hand reached out to take her wrist, so she wrenched it away.

"What's wrong, huh?" Her stare into the flames told him she was at least willing to listen to him talk, so he tried to initiate his own game of twenty questions. "Is it 'cause we didn't finish?"

She punched him. Hard. So that was probably a 'no'.

"I don't care about that as long as everyone's okay," she said icily. "I was selfish and went off to play with you thinking everything would be fine. But your crew almost killed Hebihime-sama." Her tone was accusatory, and he supposed she had a right to be angry. He hadn't come here to justify his crew's idiocy, but he also hadn't expected her to be so cold. She stirred the contents of the pot and kind of looked like she might cry. But cry over what? Nobody had gotten hurt. 'Cept Zoro. And he didn't care. As long he slept a lot.

"You cryin' 'cause you were scared?" he asked quietly, leaning his head in one palm and crossing his legs. She didn't answer. He smiled anyway.

"You're kind, Margaret," he said with an unfamiliar gentleness. She turned with wide eyes to look at him.

"When the explosions happened, you left me in the woods to go make sure your nakama were all okay. You wanted to go help them, even if you didn't even know what was going on. You didn't cry then, but now you are because you care a lot for everyone and worried about them, right?" His smile made her melt. Even with dirt on his face. It suddenly became another part of his strange charm.

And maybe this was the respect he had for her. Margaret didn't dote on him as if she needed him; their loyalties were with their respective crew's. Naturally she would be upset if something were to happen to any of her friends. And, even though they cared for each other immensely, he would expect nothing less than rage if he had been responsible for it. It was attractive; knowing she was willing to choose them over him, even lay down her life, if it came to that.

"Shishishi." He gave her an endearing half-lidded stare. "I like people like you."

She blushed, staring at the contents of her stew instead of looking him in the eye. He stood and came up behind her, wrapping arms caked with dried mud around her waist. His nose and lips took turns getting tangled in the blonde hair at the nape of her neck.

"We'll fix it, okay?" he whispered, rubbing her sides and grinning when he got the verbal 'ok' in the form of a shy 'uh-huh'. "I didn't mean to make you mad, or sad, or anything like that. So, don't be anymore, 'kay?"

"Get off me. You're dirty," she answered, voice indicating that maybe she didn't mind so much. He giggled and planted a big, wet lip-smushie on her cheek.

"Mmm~ I like you," he sighed, kissing down her shoulders and rubbing at her hips, "I like you, I like you, I like you…"

Her blush widened and her giggles were soft, but she couldn't deny that she was bursting with happiness. Luffy was hard to stay angry at. Especially now that he seemed a little more enthusiastic about touching her…

"These are good, right?" he asked, lifting her top to stroke one of her nipples with his thumb, something she'd asked him to do before the commotion at the stadium had interrupted them. She reacted nicely, wriggling further into his hold and whimpering, "Y-yeah, they feel nice…_mmm_…"

Touching people was different than anything he had ever done before. You had to be gentle, but sometimes it felt nice to not be so gentle. Girl's breast's were one such domain.

"Pull…pull it a little," she asked, breathing heavily and sliding her hand down to hold the one he was using to rub her torso. He blinked at the pleased sound she made when he obeyed.

"You like that? It didn't hurt?" He had to pinch it to get a hold on it, and yet it sounded like she'd liked it.

"Mm-hmm~" Her eyelashes fluttered and closed before she lulled into his shoulder. "If it's just a little, it feels real nice."

He blinked and looked at his own chest.

"What about mine?"

She turned around to see, laughing when she saw the mud smeared over his skin. Her golden eyes blinked at him, alight with mischief, and she moved to rub at one of his nipples under the pretense that she was brushing away the dirt. He shuddered in surprise and grinned when the sensation was confirmed to be pleasurable.

"It's good right?" she asked. He nodded and moaned, "Again, again, again…"

Margaret wondered at her own boldness and leaned down, tongue swirling over the bit of flesh. He stared, then cried out excitedly when her teeth pulled at it a little.

"WHOA. YOU CAN DO THAT?" he gushed in wonderment, mind blown at all these weird things that apparently felt good. She came up and lip-smushied his mouth awkwardly, both of them still trying to figure out what was comfortable. Her hand pushed his face to one side and she took the other, trying to pull them together. He brightened when he remembered something.

His hand struggled to guide one of her's to his butt, putting it suggestively down his pants. She pulled out of their kiss and gave him a weird look. The sparkle in his eyes was blinding.

"It felt good last time," he begged, reaching under her skirt and kneading her own butt with one hand to justify. "Please?"

She blushed and went back to meshing their faces together, embarrassed to even acknowledge the fact that she'd invited this fetish into his repertoire. Massage his butt on a whim, and all of a sudden it's just as important as touching his thing. That wasn't to say she hated doing it; he seemed to enjoy squeezing her ass too. And…yeah. It did feel pretty damn good. It was just an awkward place to admit she'd chosen to explore…

He pulled away and muttered breathily about it being tight in his shorts, so she undid the button and eased them down a little for him. They moaned into each other's mouths when her fingers moved over his swollen, anxious appendage and started to pick up where she'd left off. Teasing was in her nature, but when combined with the personal pleasure she took in making him go absolutely crazy, she was lethal. To prove this, no time was wasted in getting him worked up.

"Mmm~ you like it, don't you," she growled, reveling in that gasping breath he took when she clawed his ass cheek and rubbed the illustrious tip like he was always bugging her to. "Yeah, you like it when I-"

"Margaret? The Saga Of Are You Out There?"

"SWEET PEA," Margaret screeched in doomed surprise, gripping her victim like a vice. He cringed and yelped, but didn't have time to mourn over the pain before he felt himself being kicked away and into the shadows of a pile of fire wood.

"Are you alright? I thought you would be finished with the dinner by now…" Figuring it was too dark for her roommate to see was a welcome saving grace, so she decided she'd go with it.

Margaret looked at the pot hanging over the flame, contents burned and long forgotten.

"Uh…it didn't turn out very well so I didn't eat any," she stammered, putting her hands to her face and laughing nervously.

Sweet Pea blinked out at her. "The Saga Of Should I Make Something Else?"

"I'm-I'm fine," the blonde called, sweat dropping at the pathetic groans emanating from over by where she'd kicked Luffy. "You go ahead to bed. I'm going to clean up the mess I've made."

Sweet Pea tilted her head, shook it, and then retreated back into their dwelling. Margaret bit her lip and quietly walked over to the balled up, whimpering remnants of her lover.

"You're…a jerk," he accused, tears flowing from his eyes. She wiped at them apologetically since he was busy comforting his wounded manhood with both hands.

"I guess we're even now," she reasoned, licking his cheek. He glared.

"WHAT THE HELL'S THAT GOT TO DO WITH ANYTHING? I'm never talking to you _again_."

"That's a lie. Because then you'd never be able to ask me to touch you again," she said knowingly, smirking when he blinked in defeat and finally let go of himself. His entire body mirrored the sad flaccidity of his penis and it made her giggle just a little.

"Hey, wait, what're you-" He was confused and a bit irritated when she started lifting him into her muscular arms like he was some kind of incapacitated bride, but she smushed her face to his with a smile.

"I'll wash you and then you can sleep with me instead of going back. You wouldn't be able to find your way to the palace in the dark anyway, right?"

He pouted and gave her an unamused stare as she carried him towards some running water further into the forest, blushing with girly happiness.

"I sleep naked 'cause it's hot, though," she admitted, a little shy. He blinked, not able to contain his grin of anticipation.

"So I could touch your butt and stuff some more?"

"…I guess…"

"Then you're forgiven."

"…Gee. Thanks."

"Shishishi..."

* * *

"Kikyo…what the hell are you doing," Nami asked with quiet tiredness. The Amazon woman's face lit up.

"That's the first time you've called me by my name," she swooned.

"Did you climb up to this window?"

"Yes, but such a small feat means nothing if I can listen to you speak my name once more."

Nami closed the window and pulled the rich, purple curtains over it, mouth set in a squiggle and eyes blinking with sleep deprivation.

"Well, that was strange," Robin observed, not looking up from her sketch. Nami whirled on her.

"HARDLY WHEN PUT IN COMPARISON TO YOU. I'M NOT LETTING THIS GO."

Robin shrugged. "Franky-san probably just had an indecent thought and let it get to him."

"He was slumped against the door…_on this side of the door_, Robin. AND A HUGE NOSEBLEED LIKE THAT DOESN'T JUST HAPPEN," she stated, pointing at the huge wet area of carpet they'd scrubbed the blood out of. "IT'S A BIT SUSPICIOUS."

Robin shrugged again. "Your closet is a bit suspicious."

Nami stared at her. "What?"

"Hm?"

"NO EVASIVE MANEUVERS."

"I have no idea what you're talking about…"

"GOD DAMMIT, ROBIN…"

"Inside voice, Navigator-san…"

"AAAAARGGGGGHHHH~"

* * *

_"WHAT THE HELL'D YOU DO THAT FOR?"_

_"I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOU TO HELP ME."_

_"THEN JUST BE FUCKIN' GRATEFUL."_

_Hancock dragged Zoro onto a piece of broken stone wedged between some rubble and a couple spikes and ripped a large segment of her skirt, using her teeth to fashion a bandage. He watched her intently, both of them sweating from the heat and their match, and neither of them wanting to talk about what had just-_

_"Your crew is full of infants," she spat at him, dropping to her knees and roughly flipping him over onto his chest so she could look at the damage. "And you're the dumbest of all of them. If your stupid windy-thingie technique hadn't been going-"_

_Women always gotta be so fuckin' emotional..._

_"It is NOT a 'windy-thingie'," he yelled incredulously, looking at her like she was retarded. "And it's NOT stupid, it just happened to be kinda distracting from the BOMBS coming at us. Which I was NOT aware would be a part of this bullshit tournament, so I think this is more YOUR fault for not telling me what kind of fuckery you people-"_

_"I DID NOT PLAN THIS, YOUR CREW MATES ARE MORONS."_

_"THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY?"_

_"I WOULD HAVE LOST."_

_"RIGHT," he laughed madly, gesturing at the crumbling structure of the stadium, "WELL, YOU WON, DIDN'T- uh..."_

_He stopped when he noticed the angry tears dripping down her face. She was wiping at the wound with his sash, chin quivering and shaky hands trying to be as gentle as possible. He could tell because it was noticeably costing on her to be nice to him._

_"You're the worst," she choked, shaking her head. "You act like you're so tough and brutish and that you don't give a damn…"_

_"Oi," he muttered dryly, "cut with the emotional shit. I would've done it for anyone."_

_She bit her lip. "That's what I'm talking about. I am not your friend. You have no obligation to help me in any situation."_

_"You're Luffy's friend," he defended flatly. "That's enough for me."_

_She finished tying the fabric over his torso and glared at him. He glared back._

_"You pretend your heart is so dark and tainted," she said bitterly, wiping at her face. "You're just a big pussy."_

_He grimaced at the insult. "I don't wanna hear that from you. I really was aiming to kill, ya know."_

_"Liar. You wouldn't just be able to," she sniffed and shook her head, "protect like that, if you really were."_

_"Well, maybe I didn't want to kill you, per se," he reasoned, sitting up. He looked her in the eye. "I'm trying to kill the you that can't stand that I exist. That I am this way despite," he smirked, "my reputation."_

_"Why the hell do you care anyway, green bastard," she growled, the soothing sound of a violin floating to their ears and making them drowsy. Zoro looked up and blinked at Brook._

_"Who knows," he muttered before feeling her head fall over his shoulder and losing consciousness._

* * *

"Go to bed," he murmured, having woken up to find her passed out in the chair. She practically fell/rolled out of it and crawled over until she was frowning into his face. Her's was significantly less than attractive right now, even with nothing but a dim light on. And she was still dazzling. It kind of pissed him off.

"I want to call a truce," she sighed into the bed sheet, blinking lazily at him. His grey eyes didn't show much surprise, but he did smirk a little too smugly.

"Already? We've got a while yet on this island, don't you know," he crooned, watching her hand move to touch his bandaged torso. "You might come to find you miss hating my guts- URGH!"

"I think I'll find ways of keeping you in your place without having to constantly feel the need to kick you into non-existence," she muttered, digging a finger into his wound. His chest heaved with the effort to breathe, so she flipped him onto his side while he was distracted.

"That ain't a truce," he muttered through gritted teeth, eyes furrowing in confusion as she pushed the covers back and slipped into bed next to him. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Shut up. There's a draft in my room because of the rain."

"Then go sleep with Nami and Robin."

"The furry thing told me to stay here with you in case you die."

"His name's Chopper, idiot, and if anything kills me it'll be you. Now get the fuck out."

"Make me."

**5 seconds later…**

"HOW THE HELL ARE YOU MOVING. YOU'RE INJURED," she screamed, kicking like a spoiled child in his arms as he marched her across the huge room towards the door. "GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME, ASSHOLE."

"You're new at dealing with me when injured," he said flatly, "so I'll lay it out for you: I'm not a deadbeat. This is nothing. You're making a big deal over nothing." He kicked the door open and set her on her feet outside of it, frowning at her as he leaned on the frame.

"You don't need to think anything of it," he said a bit more gently. "I don't do things I don't want to do."

"Stop doing that," she seethed, pushing her hand through her bangs. "Stop telling me to stop thinking about it. I...I constantly find myself thinking about something to do with you. Constantly."

He blinked and turned a little pink at her implication, making her do the same when she caught sight of it. She tried to backtrack.

"I owe a lot to Luffy," she muttered, looking down. "And I'm tired of owing you lives."

"You've only got one life anyway," he said softly, starting to close the door. "Don't think you owe me anything."

"Would you STOP IT with your stupid REASONING," she shouted, pushing at the door a little too hard and stumbling into his chest. He caught her and leaned over her face with the natural direction the momentum had taken them. There was a very pregnant silence that followed, both of them too tired to process much beyond 'well, this is awkward'.

A crescendo of running and frantic calling for Hancock stopped in front of the door, and the two of them stared down at a sweating, panicking Chopper.

"Hancock-sama, I need to ask a favor," he began, nearly tearful. "Franky's slipped into a coma and I need a bigger space to use so I can stabilize his condition. Could I use your room?" He glanced at Zoro and smiled. "You can tuck her in, right, Zoro?"

The swordsman's eye twitched. "Uh…"

He felt Hancock's hand come up to touch his naked chest, and looked down only to be sucked in by the most seductive look she'd ever given him.

"I don't need this asshole to tuck me in," she said in a low voice. "I just need him to shave in the morning so it doesn't look like he's got," she absentmindedly smoothed her fingers over his cheek, "mold growing all over his face."

Chopper stared at them, blinked and made a quick exit, thanking her for the use of her monstrous bed and heading off to fix Franky.

"I loathe you," she murmured into her carrier's shoulder before finally nodding off for real. He trudged back after shutting the door and placed her on the bed, bringing the sheets up to her chin. Before he could convince himself that he was coherent enough to know what he was doing, he leaned down and kissed her hair.

"Same."

* * *

"Why," Sanji whispered in the dark to himself, "does it feel like I'm suffocating inside…"

"Oh, sorry," Usopp muttered from next to him. "Was I holding you too tight?"

"Usopp, get the fuck out of my bed."

"But I'm lonely."

"Out."

He instead felt Usopp tighten his grip around his waist. Great. An entire island of women, and all he had clinging to him was a man-pussy.

"Sanji, tell me a bedtime story."

"You're the storyteller. Make your own shitty story."

"No. You."

"Right. Sure. Once upon a time, there was a handsome cook who couldn't seem to keep all the dick's off his dick…"

"Don't you mean-"

"Nope, you shut the fuck up and listen to this shitty fuckin' story or your ass is out in the hallway."

"…'Kay."

"So anyway, greatest fuckin' story of all time…"

"I feel this shall be a fantastic tale to listen to, Sanji-san, Usopp-san" Brook whispered coming up from beneath the covers to lay between them. "If I had ears to hear with."

"EVERYBODY OUTTA MY FUCKIN' BED."


	12. Perhaps You're Glad To See Me?

**A/N: **_I just…I don't know. I don't know. _

_Enjoy!_

* * *

_Smooch._

"Un…Luffy, lemme alone…"

_Smoochsmoochsmooch…_

Margaret snuggled into the sheets and wriggled a little when the draft coming in from the window chilled the kiss trail Luffy was currently paving over her spine. It had been warm a minute ago, until he'd decided to be a jerk and do whatever he wanted. And his beard, even though she'd taken her dagger to it the night before, had grown back to add another dimension to his "lip-smushies".

She inhaled, groaned and looked out at the dusty pink sky. Sun wasn't even up...

"Luffyyy~" she said groggily, frowning at the wall when she felt him nibble her butt, "stop doing stuff in weird places…"

She looked to her left, his feet sticking out of the sheets where his head should've been. Well, it might've been strange otherwise, if he was down there biting her butt and all…

"It's warmer under here," came his muffled argument, moving his feet so his toes rubbed at her arm. They were freezing. "I thought you said it was warm at night…"

"Nami-san's rain cloud's probably cooled the temperature," she offered, arching and then dropping her hips back to the bed so that he bounced when she was finished stretching. She tickled his feet, which made him squirm until he was climbing his way up her back and giggling into her hair.

"You're warm…"

"Let me sleep more. You're annoying."

"Don't be mean to me," he pouted, dragging his half arousal over her leg. Their simultaneous shivers had each other sighing contentedly. He hugged her tight and whined, "We could finish…before we hafta get up…"

"Sweet Pea's room is right next to mine. And you're loud when I touch you," she whispered, the larger girl's snores audible now that they were paying attention. He shifted to his elbows and hummed into her lower back, "Doesn't sound like she cares…"

"You know," she said irritatedly, feeling his teeth pulling at the more sensitive skin on her sides and making her yelp, "you don't hafta bite everything now that you know you can. Sometimes it actually does hurt…"

He stopped and blinked at her. "Why didn't you say somethin'?"

She gave him a look that told him exactly what she thought of his IQ. "I just did."

He slumped into where she had been laying when she moved to get up, and gave her the saddest look he could muster, complete with dramatic, heart-broken tears at the corners of his eyes.

"Come back, Margaret, it's cold."

"I know," she whispered, rummaging through the decorated trunk by the wall. She brought out a couple large blankets, both of them brightly colored and wide enough to fit over her bed. She held them up and said, "I made these. They come in handy once in a while."

He pushed the sheets away, stretched until he had a hold of her and pulled her over to straddle his stomach, the blankets coming over their heads heavily. They giggled, like kids in a secret hide-out.

"Here, lean down," he told her, moving up to meet her half way. She gripped the sheets and moaned, her trembling coaxing out a messy trail of saliva as he suckled her nipple.

He felt some wetness near his belly button, the tempting friction offered by his abs a bit too much for her to pass up. She whimpered with frustration.

"It's drooling again," he pointed out, licking her salted skin and pulling her in to speak softly, "Should I…ya know…touch it?"

She nodded and clung to him while he tried to configure their bodies in a way that would make it easier. His voice was muffled by her hair, "It's probably better if you let go…"

So she did, and he found himself between her legs; still just as confused as when they'd been on the ship.

After a couple minutes of anxiously waiting for him to do something, her voice carried down to him hesitantly, "You…you don't have to. I can…I can just do it later…"

She sounded hurt. Like he was hurting her feelings. Which wasn't what he wanted at all. Thinking about it, he had never actually seen her finish. Which wasn't really fair, considering how much she'd touched him. He didn't want to make excuses. It wasn't really his thing. But…why did girls have to be so…_in-ish_? All he had to do was whip it out and that was that. Margaret…Margaret's touchy places were like…_inside_ her.

He frowned, frustrated with himself, and leaned down on his elbows to kiss her belly.

"You trust me, right?"

She blinked down at him through the blanket and nodded. "Why?"

He used his thumbs to pull apart her folds, trapped warmth spreading over his face and the musty smell of her unserviced need filling his nostril's. It was strange…not a bad smell, but…different. Thick. Not that he'd had any expectations in the first place…

She bit her tongue to contain the surprised noise meant to convey how pleased she felt when he finally decided to pad his lips over the tender flesh.

"Lu-Luffy…that's…_oooh~_"

"How's that?" he asked, a hint of insecurity in his voice. "It didn't hurt, right?"

"No, no," she sighed, pushing back her bangs and looking at him expectantly. "Can…can you do it more?"

He smiled brightly. "You like it?"

She blushed and gave him a sheepish smile. "Mm. If you could…maybe, go a little higher…"

He frowned in concentration and licked slowly, waiting for some indication that he was on the right track. She stared and heaved aroused breaths at the blanket overhead.

"_Ooo_…up…maybe…a little to the _right_…no, _my_ right..."

He passed over what they were looking for and was startled when she groaned loudly and lifted her hips without warning. His eyes widened in panic, watching her writhe around in assumed pain.

"S-sorry-"

"_Please_," she begged, hands rifling around to push his head back where it had been. "Again…lick it _again_…it feels _so good_…"

He pursed his lips in confusion and stared at her sex. "I don't know if I get it…"

"There's nothing for you to GET," she finally told him in heated desperation, reaching over and shoving him back in place. Despite getting juice all over his chin, he grinned. All this time he'd just let her do what she wanted, and he was finally sipping from the power cup she hogged every time she touched his bits. And it felt surprisingly good, having someone really like how you touched them; feeling needed. Feeling needed by _her_.

He decided to up the ante. With a sly grin, he asked, "Hm. You want me to lick it? You like that, huh?"

"_Yes_," she moaned, spreading her legs as far as was possible while keeping them in the blanket. He shishishi'd and made her squeak, planting a small _chu_ in the middle of it.

"I'm gonna finish you~" he declared quietly, settling in for the long haul. Her noises of approval floated through the wall and into the ears of her disturbed, very irritated housemate.

_The Saga Of What The Hell Is She Dreaming About…_

* * *

Perhaps it was the incident that had taken place the day before, or the condensed water still fogging the majority of the island at this early morning hour, but Nyon found herself unable to sleep. Her weathered feet, un-sandaled and cooled by the dew of the grass that had over grown the stone steps of the garden, easily climbed until she could look out into the basin of Amazon Lily's village. She smiled tiredly.

_I always pondered how old women could wake at such early hours. _

Only in old age herself could she now understand: it was the sense of time passing, being gone for good, and then never returning that prevented one at such an age from wasting it away sleeping. And so, as the purple line of dawn's break greeted her and her sense of foreboding, she sought out the place in which she liked best to meditate.

_Hebihime-sama's heart has significantly thawed since her meeting with Monkey D. Luffy…but I suspect he still isn't interested._

It was a shame. He was indeed a brilliant match for her. A man among men, and the only one able to burrow a hole into the layer of ice surrounding Hancock. But Nyon had seen it before, the winds of hurricanes dying slowly until they were waves that crashed more steadily upon the shore.

_And a hurricane is only effective when there is land to be effected by it_, the former Empress thought, chuckling to herself.

Perhaps fate had only intended for him to pave the way for something more earthy to come in and finish the job? Perhaps it was just an old woman's intuition.

_Or maybe I just want grandchildren..._

She was still human. And none of the girl's were getting any younger. For Hancock to never pop any out would be an absolute waste of genetics. And there was benefit for her in there, too. It wasn't like Nyon wasn't keeping her adoptive daughter's best interest in mind when picking out potential suitors for her. Well, suitor, at this point. But nobody had a butt like his, so she had taken a gamble, pulled some strings, and they now seemed to be getting along swimmingly, so everything was hunky-dory.

_Perhaps with this one you might see some reciprocation, Hancock. If you let yourself become a little less detestable, the love could last a bit longer than the storm._

…

_P.S. You really need to get laid._

Nyon smiled, laughing calmly and breathing deeply through her nostrils.

Yes, today would be a good day. Perhaps.

* * *

Roronoa Zoro was not one to fantasize. Much.

When he did, it usually involved a faceless woman. Maybe two. But that was on rare occasion. And usually when he was drinking.

Right now, he was about as sober as he could get, with three massive pairs of boobs in the same bed as him. _And he wasn't even getting any_.

And it got _worse_.

In an attempt to put on some sort of facade of gentlemanly-ness, he'd slipped into slumber as far away as possible from his known bunkmate. In the course of the night, however, her two sister's had snuck in, undetected, squished himself and said bunkmate between them, and not bothered to fix the mangled mess they'd made of the limbs of the two people currently making the filling to this sandwich of fuck-uppery. Meaning he was destined to wake up, drooling into the cleavage of one, Boa Hancock. And by cleavage, he meant deep-sea trench. Seriously. He'd woken up because one of his snore's had echoed.

_Just go back to sleep. Pretend this isn't happening._

Easier said than done. Now that he was conscious, the pain of having a second degree burn chafed by bandages and one's own waist line had him flinching further into the abyss. By accident, of course.

She moaned in her sleep. Not that he could really blame her. When you're sleepin', yeah. Warm saliva all over your boobs probably feels pretty fuckin' amazing. Add on the scruff she'd pointed out earlier, thirty-plus years of sexual inactivity and a coma like state, and Zoro was probably the epitome of _every_ woman's fantasy right now. Hell, he could make this a business. Roronoa Zoro: Demon Gigolo…

The cosmos wasn't making him suffer enough, so one of her legs flung itself over his thigh. Which meant, because she was such a huge woman in the first place, it came to rest nicely against his burn. _Perfection_.

How do you decide what's worse? Suffer the slings and arrows? Or wake her up and explain why there's slobber all over her chest?

_Goddammit, I am a GROWN ASS MAN. _

"You look like a moldy piece of fruit," she muttered, startling him out of his internal struggle. She did not look pleased to see him so up close and personal. "I thought I told you I didn't want to see that shit when I woke up this morning."

"You're forgetting whose bed you're in," he said, blushing hard when he realized that talking out loud meant talking into her boob flesh. "And since I didn't plan on these party crasher's, you are no longer welcome."

"You're forgetting whose bed, palace, island and chest you're currently residing in," she pointed out with no hint of embarrassment. "I suppose trusting you with my body was pointless. I'm just glad I woke before you tried to marry me or something equally disgusting…"

"You keep using marriage out of context, idiot," he grumbled, struggling to lift his head and keep his speech tit free. "Get your leg off me. My back hurts."

She pouted and mimicked him sarcastically, "Widdle baby swowdsman got a booboo and can't handow a girls' weg…"

His eye twitched. "Your personality is kind of offensive."

"Your face is offensive. I don't even have reason to consider the rest of you if you have a diseased face."

"IT'S FACIAL HAIR," he whispered fiercely so he didn't wake the huge girl snoring on his other side. "EVERY GUY WORTH HIS BALL SACK HAS SOME."

"You're disgusting."

He smirked, his speech wry. "And yet, here we are." 'Here', of course, being forced into each other's space by two significantly larger bodies and numerous events neither person wanted to bring up.

"They probably had more dreams," she said a lot more thoughtfully, letting her head sink into a silk pillow. He didn't really know what to say, but he didn't really have a choice but to stay where he was.

"Guess you guys are pretty close, huh," he commented. "Though, you don't look alike at all…"

Hancock snorted. "Our mother fell in love multiple times in her life. Something I could probably never come to understand, but I suppose…her circumstances were different than ours."

This was said in a way that hinted that there might be something a bit deeper behind it, but Zoro wasn't really a digger. Could he be blamed for being a little curious, though? Here was a woman wading neck deep in emotional instability. All he got for the first forty-eight hours of interaction with her was arrogance and egoism. Now all he saw was a meek desire to shut the world out. It was dizzying how fast she seemed to go from crazed monster to mellow hermit.

"You say you love Luffy," he murmured, narrowing his eyes at her. "How did you come to that conclusion?"

She heaved a sigh and shifted so her leg came off of him and her boobs were controlled. "Luffy has forced me to change," she finally spoke, "and though I still could never hope to measure up to him in kindness or consideration…" She contemplated her own paradigm shift and smiled softly. "Though it's still hard for me…I think maybe I've grown a little."

He stared at her. "So you're saying you were even worse before he got a hold of you?"

"Shut up," she sneered, poking his cheek. "When you speak I feel nauseous."

He swatted at her lightly, like she was an annoying fly. "You brought him back to the archipelago, though, right?"

She blinked. "Yes. I did."

He searched her eyes for a minute, then smiled something playful, something way too boyish for the hardened face she was staring at.

"Guess I'm just having a hard time figuring out why we don't get along better," he chuckled, lifting a hand to rub at his ear and jingling his collection of earrings. "You don't seem that bad to me, now that you've slept. Do you just not sleep enough? 'S that it?"

She blushed and elongated her look of disgust. "You and I have nearly nothing in common, moron."

He didn't seem phased anymore by her jabs. She wasn't sure why this alarmed her so.

"What we do have in common pretty much makes up for the rest of it though," he offered smoothly, closing his good eye, "eh, Hancock?"

She watched him drift away, waiting a few minutes before subconsciously vining towards the warmth of his chest. But just a bit. He looked cold anyway.

* * *

Luffy emerged from Margaret's window with a dull soreness in his jaw, mussed hair, and the greatest sense of accomplishment he'd felt since rejoining his crew. She eventually made her way over from the bed to watch him dress in his still damp, newly washed clothes with her hair tousled and her body flushed and glowing with satisfaction. They stared at each other while he put his pants on, a stronger, more intimate connection passing between them.

"I did good, right?" he asked, wanting to hear her praises again and sidling over to lean up and receive some sort of reward. She kissed his face, saving most of the passion for when she took his mouth in hers. He pulled away when he started feeling light headed and staggered a happy sigh.

"Can you come over again tonight?" she asked, batting her lashes at him. He grinned and nodded vigorously at her invitation. She took the sash from his hands before he could tie it around his waist and used it to pull him even closer.

"I wanna lick it," she purred in his ear. "Your thing." She pried open his lips with her own, slid her tongue in with an inflated amount of sensuality and moaned, "I'll lick it until you finish."

He _had_ kind of wondered if she might want to try. She'd certainly sounded like she was enjoying the licking after he'd sort of gotten the hang of it…yeah, the thought had definitely entered his mind.

He blinked dreamily. "You want to?"

She giggled when he reached up to pull her from the window, cradling her naked, endorphin spiked body and pushing them both up against the stone wall of the house. Through his still fairly hit-or-miss kisses, she said, "Mm-hm. I bet it'd feel good for you if it felt that good for me…"

"You could do it now," he whined softly. He was still pretty turned on by what had just transpired, but because of his slow, amateur execution, there really wasn't much more time to fool around. She laughed and shook her head.

"I'm teaching a lesson today, and then I'm helping with the rebuilding," she told him. "So I probably won't see you until later."

He frowned. "Lesson?"

"Today is my turn to teach archery to the younger girls," she said slowly, searching his eyes, "I usually don't until a little later in the day, but because everyone else is working on the stadium this morning, I thought it might be a good idea to…" she gave him a confused look when he started narrowing his eyes and pouting, "…I mean, the mother's with shops usually have their daughter's help them, but..."

"So…you're saying that," he started off sourly, "if the stadium hadn't been ruined, you wouldn't have to get up."

She blinked and tilted her head. "Yes? I changed it of my own accord, though…"

"But you wouldn't have," he emphasized, dropping his head and pouting into her shoulder, "if the stadium didn't have to be worked on."

She was so confused. "…I suppose not."

He remained on her shoulder for some time before nodding and lifting her back up to sit on the sill. She frowned as he shoved his sleeves over his arms and trudged away, not even bothering to tie the sash.

"Lu-Luffy? Where are you going? Are you mad?"

"No," he called witheringly, "Just gonna go talk to my crew."

* * *

"Thank you, Sanji-kun," Aphelandra said wearily, yawning into the bowl of soup Sanji put in her hands. He swooned and moved a dramatic hand to sweep over the eye not effected by his hair.

"Such a lovely woman! Oh, so many beauties! All beautiful, all different, all awaiting my love!"

"SHUT UP AND UNTIE ME YOU BLONDE BASTARD!" Usopp shouted, bound together by several of the expensive sheets that graced the beds of the palace. Brook sat on a log beside him, drinking tea with indifference and every once in a while asking the sniper for his opinion of what he might have to do to make it socially acceptable for all women, not just Amazon's, to go around pantiless. Usopp was being less than good company.

Sanji's eyes glinted and he raised his ladle in warning. "I take you out of that damn loon jacket when you tell me what you know."

Usopp glared at Brook, facial's unreadable and staring straight ahead.

"I've already told you what I know," Usopp ground out, struggling to wriggle away. "Luffy wasn't in his bed. After he didn't come back-"

"Right. I got it," Sanji interrupted him, sneering and chewing on his cigarette, "you got lonely and decided it might be a good idea to wake me up. I don't give a shit about you and your insecurities."

"Skeleton's get insecure as well," Brook mused. "When there was nobody in the room, I sought out Sanji-san because I knew he would probably be sleeping alone-"

"FUCK YOU, SHITTY BAG O' BONES," Sanji screamed, giving him his most colorful finger. "YOU EVEN SKIPPED OUT ON NAMI-SAN'S LECTURE, YOU SHIT-HEAD. WHY THE HELL ELSE WOULD I MAKE YOU COME OUT HERE TO HELP ME."

"Sanji-kun," Robin said with gentle cheerfulness, unaffected by the early hour, "the soup is getting low. Nami-san is having trouble chopping the vegetables, so perhaps, if you would be so kind…"

"ANYTHING FOR ROBIN-CHWAN," he heaved, leaping forward to plant a good morning kiss on her personage and faceplanting where her now confirmed clone had been standing.

"Tch. You're such a mama's boy," Usopp grunted. He received a glare and a punctuated set of words.

"Behave until I get back. When you're ready to tell me where the shitty captain is, I'll consider letting you go." And then he walked off, mutterings of 'shit sniper' floating and fading from his lips as he walked off to help Nami.

"You're too suspicious," Usopp informed Brook, narrowing his eyes. "You were gone the entire lecture, and didn't get back until it was past lights out. Where the hell were you."

"My spirit simply had the desire to roam," the skeleton said, setting his cup down and watching a busty Amazon walk by. "There's so much to see here…"

Usopp snorted. "Be honest. You know something. Where's Luffy."

"I have no recollection of ever seeing Luffy-san in my travels," he replied, fluffing his hair. "Though, I don't really see a lot. What with having no eyeballs…YOHOHOHO~"

"HILARIOUS, BROOK," Usopp hollered, losing patience and wriggling violently in his straight jacket, "MEANWHILE, GET ME OUT OF THIS STUPID THING."

"No can do, Usopp-san. I have to go…uh…serenade some ladies." And with that, the tallest member of the Straw Hat crew creaked up to a standing position, made off with his guitar and started singing something about wishing there was a breeze to lift skirts…

* * *

"Franky, I don't really want to know the details, but," Chopper said slowly, "I'm just hoping you don't plan on using this for something…"

"You're damn right I do," the cyborg growled, pouting over at the wall and folding his arms over the silk comforter of Hancock's bed. "That woman thinks she's so smart. She doesn't suspect a thing. And I ain't wasting this perfect chance to use her own cunning against her."

Chopper sweat dropped. "That kind of thing…it's very personal, though."

"My balls are personal," Franky replied gruffly. "Where is the justice for my balls."

"You're delirious," Chopper decided with an unamused grimace, walking away. "Stay in bed. I'm gonna go help with the rebuilding. I'll check back in a few hours." His over-sized head peeked around the door the wrong way so that his body was in plain sight and glared at his charge creepily. "Do. Not. Move. From there." And then he was gone.

* * *

"I swear, if you pass out again I will force feed you myself, damn idiot," Zoro growled, standing over Hancock's curled up, defiant body. She'd shown no interest in getting up, even though she'd been awake nearly as long as him. Mari and Sonia had long since gone to prepare to help with the rebuilding, leaving him to babysit their bratty older sister. He plucked grapes from a cluster and stared with merciless indifference to her groans of discomfort.

"Go away. You're annoying."

"I'm supposed to be recovering. It's hard when there's this heap of flesh taking up half the room."

She didn't reply, but sprawled further, aiming to do worse. He glowered.

"Eat something and stop joking around."

"I'm not joking. I fully intend to sleep here. Alone. Without you to ruin my dreams for me," she replied, muffled by sheets. She gave him a look, challenging him to say otherwise.

"You're not big enough," he said bluntly. "You're ass is too skinny from not eating anything to even think of covering everything."

She gritted her teeth. "How dare you. I am-"

"Right. The most beautiful woman in the world," he recited, swinging the grapes in front of his face and waving off her burning stare. "The world hasn't had the opportunity to spend the night with your bony ass."

"I could kill you. Right now," she offered, kicking at him lazily and missing his knee. He moved to the other side of the bed and faced off with her, chewing shamelessly.

"Eating is a very natural thing to do," he lectured casually, pointing at his grapes. "I swear it doesn't hurt."

"What are you on about," she growled, pushing her hair out of her eyes and crawling over the bed and her own chest to reach out and steal them from him. He pulled away and smirked.

"Ah. I get it. You're just too lazy. You probably always have someone bring the food to you anyway, so the best food is the kind immediately available."

"_Just give it to me_."

He blinked, stared at her, and felt the familiar burn in his ears that meant he was blushing like crazy. With her breasts practically falling out of her clothes, her hair tangled and shiny with unwashedness, and her eyes unfocused and sleepy, it left a bit more to the imagination than he'd initially thought. Especially from this close up. And the raspy, impatient voice she'd just spoken in…

_Give it to me._

He shook his head and came back to reality, which was her crawling forward and glaring, intent on stealing his food. He turned away and took the cluster with him, sputtering, "N-no. There's more over there. Get your own."

She reached around and moaned, "I want yours, moron. Give it to me."

_I want yours. Give it to me._

"NO," he yelped, feeling her hands move to snake up his arm and relieve his cluster…er, relieve him of his cluster…

She whined, "Don't be selfish. See?" she pointed out the still fairly full bunch and said, "there's so much, and yet you're still being an asshole about it…"

_There's so much…_

Zoro was trapped. A trapped animal. In multiple ways. He stared at the wall behind her head, tomato red and too occupied with his mind shattering thoughts to focus on what she was saying now. But he couldn't move. He couldn't escape. He was stuck kneeling down next to the bed and dealing with the torture. For in that moment, death would have been a sweeter option than standing up and risking her seeing the beginning's of his massive boner. Just the word reverberating through his brain made his throat dry.

"You're all red," she noticed, raising an eyebrow. "Is your burn infected?"

"D-Don't know," he muttered pitifully, grimacing and refraining from moving away from the hand she touched to his forehead. To distract himself, he raised a piece of fruit to his mouth and stared at the wall. She moved in his line of vision and pouted.

"Put it here," she commanded, tipping her lips open and sticking her tongue out. "You keep complaining I don't eat enough. I want it. Let me have it."

_Put it here. Let me have it._

"Christ," he muttered to himself, resisting the urge to facepalm and curl up in the fetal position. Thinking about it, this had been bound to happen eventually. And she was, if anything, an attractive woman. Physically. Perhaps, now that she was looking so very vulnerable and ruffled with sleep and the sex he was, admittedly, imagining they'd had, his dick was getting the hint and making up for what had been three days worth of hanging out with breasts this size and getting no touch-and-go. Compliments of his own stupidity, of course. What kind of moron goes to an island filled with scantily clothed women and doesn't expect to have to whack off a couple times. Besides Luffy…

Oh. Wait. Nothing on this island made sense. He'd forgotten. Because Luffy was probably getting more than the rest of them combined. Right. Glad he was just now realizing how turned around this entire experience was.

For here he knelt, the mighty pirate hunter and demon swordsman, Roronoa Zoro, practically busting out of his trousers. Because a girl had accidentally talked dirty to him. Might as well give him a bottle and a blankie and tell him to take a nap. Now that he thought about it, that's pretty much what he did on the daily anyway, right? Suck down bottles of rum and take naps. Was he really a grown man? Did he have psychological trauma from some forgotten experience as a child? Was he compensating for something?

And then he was blasted out of his thoughts abruptly, the feeling of her mouth wrapping around the grape and the fingers that held it short circuiting something in his brain. She slid over his knuckles, leaving a trail of saliva as the only proof of what she'd done.

She chewed, oblivious to his slacked jaw, and pointed at him. "I'll change your dumb bandages, so lay down…"

Two days ago she had spit food out onto the ground with the knowledge that he'd held it. Now he was dumbstruck, staring at his own hand like it was covered in holy water. Seriously. He wasn't stupid. And he certainly wasn't as clueless as Luffy.

He slid onto the bed in half minded obedience, listening to her rant again about doing stupid shit and being careful to keep his groin close to the sheets and hidden from sight. All self control was used to ensure no sounds came out of his mouth in celebration of the friction offered by his pants; quickly overwritten by the panic he had initially been feeling. And as her hands brushed lightly over his dry skin and removed the used bandages, he let in those thoughts and came to a conclusion: that this was a dangerous relationship.

He had, somewhere along the way, developed desire for her. And she had, whether she admitted it or not, softened to the idea of him. He could see it. Three days ago, _this_ - sleeping together like it was no big deal, touching (sort of), flirting (though it was questionable she was aware of it), feeding each other - was not foreseeable. Was he retarded? How could he look at this and think of it as a normal friendship? If he dare call it that…

Perhaps too many days at sea with Luffy's moronic's and the cook's effeminate personality had numbed him to the point of asexuality.

He groaned, half pained, half as an excuse to verbalize his arousal when she padded the medicinal cloth over the wound.

"It looks fine," she said thoughtfully, running her eyes over his sweating back. "Are you sick from something else?"

"It _aches_," he muttered vaguely, knowing what he meant and knowing she didn't. Saying it out loud hadn't helped any. Not that he'd expected it to. She blinked and poked his green head.

"This?"

"Yeah. Sure. That."

She snorted and rubbed her finger into his skin. "You warn me not to pass out, and yet here you are with a headache. You should be ashamed."

_Oh_. He was. She had no _idea_. And now he could fully appreciate how much of an idiot he was. Because, not only did fingers on scalp feel good, they also felt fucking _fantastic_ when they ran around the flesh behind ears. Which was what she had, of course out of some cosmic coincidence, decided would be smashing to experiment with.

Her face went from smug to softly curious in a few short stages, silently picking up on his body language. She lowered all five fingers to rub simultaneously through his green hair, the harder she pressed, the further back his eye rolled into his skull. She blushed, heart palpitating with the contemplation of his facials. And, was he _purring_? Surely not.

Oh, FUCK that felt _good_…

He was hard. He was so hard. He was man enough to admit he wasn't immune. He wasn't immune to Boa Hancock. Or her magic fingers.

"Witch," he moaned pathetically. She huffed and raised an eyebrow, not quite sure what that was supposed to mean.

So much for stepping out of the realms of bitch-dom…

"While we're both awake for a bit, I need to speak to you about something important," she said with uncharacteristic genteel, continuing her petting. "It concerns your winning the tournament."

He was too busy trying not to jizz in his pants, so he gave her a cross between a grunt and a whimper to signal he was listening. As well as he could, anyway. She found it amusing so she shrugged and went on. And with what part of his brain hadn't melted into mush, collected in his balls and become semen, he listened and processed.

And he could swear he'd misheard her. In an effort to prove he had, indeed, misheard what she'd just said, he ignored for a moment the fact that he was hard enough to pound nails and moved a hand over his head to pause her treatment.

"Say that again?"

"You are technically next in line to be Empress," she said seriously, searching his face. "We take strength very seriously on this island. Though there was no clear winner, most will assume you won because you protected me."

He stared at her, wondering if she was doing this on purpose. Did she have experience with killing boners? Damage control? Was this a pity move to help him out of an awkward situation?

"You sayin' I gotta take a girl job on a girl island just because you tricked me into fighting in a girl tournament?"

"I'm saying we should have a rematch. And you should lose," she said bluntly, hiding her smirk at his paling face. He immediately looked a little relieved.

"Yeah, I don't want your job," he admitted vehemently. "If I lose on purpose your little tradition thingy won't be in effect anymore, right? I wouldn't have to be a queen or something anymore?"

She frowned darkly. "You're implying you'd have to lose on purpose?"

He paused in his thoughts and smirked. "Uh, yeah? I already kind of beat you didn't I?"

She stared at him for a moment, got up slowly from the chair and made her way over to a corner of the room where Zoro's swords lay innocently on a lounge chair. He watched her pick one up, but didn't grimace until she'd unsheathed it and started making her way back over to him.

"You insult me so freely…it seems you have forgotten your place," she hissed, sauntering over and stepping with one long, confident leg onto the bed, giving him a peek at everything going on under her long night shirt. Zoro stared up at her, the translucent fabric of the shirt, unbeknownst to her, revealing the locations of her nipples for any potential victims to look upon before meeting their demise. He looked away, but didn't bother moving.

"Put that down. You have no idea what you're doing." She put the hilt in her mouth, took a ribbon from…actually, he couldn't really confirm she _hadn't_ just pulled it out of her boobs, and tied her hair up-

**SPURT.**

"YOU CHOOSE NOW TO BE SICK IN THE HEAD?" she accused, relating his massive nosebleed from dwelling on the slender curve of her now fully revealed neck to his earlier claimed headache and waving his own blade at him. "CUT THE THEATRICS. I'LL KILL YOU HERE, WORTHLESS POND SCUM."

"JUST STOP TALKING, FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK," he groaned, holding his dick through the sheets with one hand and his dripping nose with the other. She angrily tossed the weapon across the room, slapped his hand away from his face with her own and wrenched him up to eye level by the unkept ends of his hair. He grimaced, but knew better. Even if he didn't want to admit this was a turn on of sorts, the proof was in his pants. Which he still had a tight grip on. She noticed after a minute and her pupils shrunk to non-existence, mouth pressed into a line.

"Blackguard," she accused, hand running over his weathered, protective fingers and exploring the stretched fabric covering his groin. "What purpose had you for hiding this?"

He blinked at her through pained eyes and asked, "What the fuck are you talking about…"

"You cover your prowess with the use of swords, then bring a dagger to bed," she whispered in his ear, furiously pushing his arm away and snaking herself into his trousers. "Though your motive is questionable now…I wasn't stabbed in the night…"

"Oh, _fuck_," he sobbed, her nails raking over the muscles under his belly button and finding the "hilt" of what she was seeking. She frowned deeper and pulled, making him elicit a high pitched whine.

"If it's kept in leather, I suppose that protects you from slicing through yourself in your sleep," she reasoned matter-of-factly. "Did you think," she whispered fiercely, pulling again, trying to take it out, "that I would kill you?"

His forehead pushed into her shoulder and he cried out, unable to answer her questions about why he'd apparently felt the need to bring a knife to bed and stick it down his pants. Another futile tug and he moaned loudly, making her wrench his face up to look at him.

"I thought I told you I wanted a truce," she said low, deep in her throat. "We can fight fairly and in a rematch. To kill you in your sleep has no benefit in it for me…"

She struggled to get a good grip on his "dagger" and he vined further into the curve of her body, sweating and grunting through her curses and confused self mutterings of why it wouldn't come out.

"Show me," she demanded, sliding over the full length to see if it might be stuck on something. He shook his head and she stared with alarm at the wall when she felt him drag his mouth over the skin of her neck and mutter fiercely, "Pull it. Hard."

She obeyed, thinking this would free an entanglement with strings or dislodge it from a secure holding. She instead felt him tense, thrust forward until he was bluntly impaling her stomach and rub, all the while feeling her own hand being covered with something warm and moist.

"...Poison?" she asked incredulously, taking her hand out and wondering at it. "It…_why_? What does this _mean_…"

"Taken…in small doses…" he said exhaustedly, flushing with release and lazing against her shoulder, "…it helps you fall asleep."

"This helps you sleep?" she wondered aloud, scissoring her webby fingers and sniffing. Her eyelids lowered. "It's dank."

"Try it," he dared her softly. "It won't hurt you."

She parted her lips a bit, sucked in a finger and savored whatever warmth was left in the substance, trying to ignore the bitter taste. He played with her ponytail and glanced over, another finger licked clean.

"How is it."

"I feel," she said quietly, "strangely calm."

He basked in the power of the placebo effect and decided to cut his losses, already pretty humiliated.

"I keep it in a vial in case I need it," he explained awkwardly. "You broke it."

She looked genuinely guilt stricken and apologetic. "I'm…I'm sorry. I didn't know you also had trouble sleeping."

Also? Oh yeah. The nightmares…

"We're both still tired, right?" he asked, pulling away from her and trying to ignore the wet heaviness of his pants. "I'm gonna go change, and then we'll sleep, alright?"

She watched him climb off the bed, stagger into the hallway and-

* * *

"YOU'RE GOOD! FRANKY!" Luffy screamed into Hancock's room, observing Franky's mischief from the hallway. Zoro stared over at him.

"Luffy? Where the hell did you come from?"

"Zoro!" he called over cheerfully, hands on his hips and a huge grin in place. "You feeling better? I went to see Margaret last night! She felt bad about the stadium issue, so I slept over."

**Crack.**

Zoro whirled over his shoulder to see Hancock peeking from the doorway, face furrowed in jealous curiosity and fingers crushing the frame of the door with anxiety.

"Slept…over…" she muttered, not liking the image of Luffy alone with another girl.

Her lover in question caught sight of her, blinked, looked at Zoro, looked at Zoro's pants, blinked, then laughed.

"You're supposed to get naked first, Zoro." He laughed insanely, hearing Franky's guttural man call of 'IT'S SUPER READY' and clapping.

Zoro never thought he'd see the day Luffy would give him sex advice. This island truly was fucked up.

"Luffy!" Hancock screamed tearfully, jiggling halfway across the hall to him, "I have not done anything for you to leap into the arms of another woman have I? What is the meaning of-"

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF AMAZON LILY!" Franky's voice reverberated loud enough to split ears through the hall, Luffy's hat flying off his head and making his lips flap over his gums. "I PRESENT TO YOU, 'SUPER BALLS OF JUSTICE'. STARRING, NICO ROBIN."

And with that, his voice was replaced by a remixed recording of every noise he'd salvaged of Robin pleasuring herself to the thought of him. He cackled triumphantly as sound exploded from his huge sound speaker body, the rest of the island left to wonder at what they were listening to.

Zoro glanced over at Hancock, hair blowing over her shoulders every time the sound was particularly vulgar, and her shirt apparently blown off from the initial frequency. She crawled after Luffy, who waved at the both of them and ran for the main entrance of the palace. She slipped when she tried to right herself, fell, flopped over to the wall, and sobbed.

_What…has this island done to us._

He stared down at his pants. He didn't want to know, if he was being completely honest.

* * *

Nami glanced at Robin's paling, frozen in stoic mode face.

"What's a 'cock'?" Aphelandra asked out loud.

Sanji dropped his soup ladle and swallowed his cigarette whole. Chopper flailed, screaming about how he'd told Franky not to do anything stupid.

"The Saga Of This Is What Margaret Sounded Like Last Night In Her Sleep," Sweet Pea said gravely, eyes pulsating in their sockets. "Is it perhaps...a _cock sickness_?"

"What's _cock sickness_?"

"Does it hurt?"

"IS IT CONTAGIOUS?"

"WHAT IF WE ALREADY HAVE IT?"

"WILL WE ALL SOUND LIKE THIS?"

That day, mass chaos erupted for a second time over all of Amazon Lily; this time, genuinely the fault of Franky.

"YOHOHOHO," Brook laughed. "I have a bad feeling about this…or I would if I were not just made of bones~!"

* * *

**:U**

**I…I wonder about myself.**


	13. Our Holy Mother Of Quarantine

**A/N:** _Hey guys! I finished it! I'm sorry it took so long. I missed this stories one year anniversary, too. :( Thanks for not giving up on me and my crappy sense of deadline. Once again, I had some trouble getting lost in translation and hope this doesn't confuse you too much. It's surprisingly short compared to the last couple ones, so I'll try to make up for that in the next installment. Merp. .-._

_P.S. Thanks to the last episode, I now end all my sentences with "…and then I had a very big fart". Thank you, and now you have a firm grasp on how mature I am. If the past twelve chapters of this monstrosity haven't been a big enough clue._

_Please enjoy!_

* * *

**Chapter 13: Our Holy Mother of Quarantine**

* * *

In some instances of deep sleep, Zoro couldn't remember how he had come to the conclusion that he might need to wake up. Like, when does the brain just decide that you've slept too long, time to rouse. Sleeping on the ship, it was different. Here, wherever he was, because he hadn't quite woken up enough to think about that yet, it was a slow transition from the cloudiness of dream land into something completely troublesome. And, as of late, the idea that he didn't have a full grasp of his surroundings when he fell asleep got scarier every time he woke up.

That's right. Grasp. Last time he'd woken up feeling like this, his hand had betrayed both of them and explored some dangerous realms. For the sake of his blood pressure, he cracked his one useful eyelid to confirm history wasn't repeating itself. No, no dicks to grab in the vicinity. Small blessings. That was where his gratefulness ended, though. Because speaking of dicks, his own suddenly felt strangely…feelable. The more he searched for some words in that dusty brain of his, the more the word 'sticky' stuck out, and the less confident he became that he liked where today was going.

He was shirtless, and in a large bed with some stuff that reminded him of Chopper's office nearby on the end table. Immediately he recalled the night before…and what about that morning? All the- wait. Why was he still in bed, then.

He blinked drowsily, lifted himself up onto his elbows despite the protesting from his injury, and narrowed his eyes as he looked over at the cold, empty, rumpled place next to his. That woman had indeed slept next to him, was indeed gone, and…

When he'd fallen asleep, he would've had to have fallen asleep face down. So why was he flipped over…

…

He looked down at his unzipped pants. He immediately felt emotions strong enough to cry blood.

Well, fuck. _Fuck_. Oh, Jesus _fuck_. This was not- oh, he did not need this.

_Somebody_, no names getting through his emergency thought filter, because that might mean letting himself fall into a hopeless pit of insanity once he admitted the only one dumb enough to maybe, _just maybe_ confuse a boner with a possibly worrisome medical condition would be the idiot he'd spent the night with.

It became painfully clear what had actually happened between himself and Hancock: Nothing. At least nothing so sexual. Because that whole thing with Franky and Luffy and…whatever…hadn't even happened. He had dreamed it. More accurately, his dick had dreamed it. And truth be told, he was relieved his _actual_ brain hadn't been dumb enough to imagine that scenario and play it out for real. What kind of brain puts a man in a situation where the domineering female mistakes your dick for a knife and continues to harass you until you come. And then thinks the end result is sleep inducing drugs. What. The. Actual. Fuck. Only a dick could think of that kind of magic. And now, his dick looked pretty happy just kind of sitting in its own coagulated ejaculate. The question now was, how traumatized was the woman.

…Actually, the first question was, _where_ was the woman. She obviously wouldn't want to stick around after seeing what had probably looked like him going into epileptic shock. And how embarrassing this was going to be if she'd called for help thinking Luffy's precious first mate was on the verge of inflamed flesh related death. Hell, maybe he'd had an _audience_ if Chopper hadn't come to his rescue. He wanted to assume he'd been saved. Or maybe everyone had left the room. Yeah. That was a much safer scenario. Let's go with that. But then Chopper would've had the decency to at least wake him and try to salvage some of his dignity instead of letting him sit there in his own bodily fluid. No, the woman would've had to take his dick out of his pants first. Zippers didn't just unzip themselves.

Just trying to imagine that defining moment of unzippage…what's a woman to assume if she's never seen a guy's dick before? Tops, she'd be smart enough to figure out that that's where the piss comes from. So, anything else coming out probably looked infected. Fan-_fucking-_tastic. As if he weren't already an impressive specimen in her book. And now it's kind of weighing down on his self esteem that he cares that much about what she thinks. Where's the cook. Hanging out with that guy even for a little bit is guaranteed to make even the most twitter pated son of a bitch feel like a goddamn stoic. See, that's probably where Zoro's gone wrong. He hasn't punched the guy in the face in almost half a week. He needs someone to remind him why the road to vagina is paved with misery and a love for designer ties. And cologne.

Looking around, it was…eerily silent in the room. He didn't like it. One of the large double doors leading into the room was open and the hallway was dimly lit with the flicker of what was probably torch light.

_So how long did I actually sleep?_

Not long enough for his back pain to decrease. His feet made contact with the cold, hard floor and he staggered up from the bed, using tissue on the end table to clean himself enough to stuff his junk back in his pants until he could change.

Looking out the one window, he saw that it was nearly sundown, so probably past dinner. Thinking about it made him realize he was more than a little hungry. He'd clean up and make someone get him some food. But damn, it sure was quiet around here. Most of the time there was at least the sound of people moving around or someone yelling. It was getting late though. Maybe everyone was eating? Hm.

He tried to remember which way the bath was and ended up just picking a hall to walk down. After a hand full of dead ends and not running into a single person, he started getting creeped out.

_Where the hell is everyone? I should've at least run into somebody I don't know by now. She's got servants everywhere in here…_

Nobody from the crew popped up, which was probably for the best anyway, but still kind of disconcerting. Chopper wasn't even running around and screaming for him to go back to bed.

Turning a corner and noticing the familiar doors of the bath, he realized he hadn't brought a change of clothes with him from the room. And now, he couldn't really remember where the room was.

_Oh well. I'll get this outta the way and worry about that later…_

He came up to the double doors and had his hand poised over the handle before he noticed the sounds. Something like the sounds of chanting and water being splashed. Someone was inside. And with his luck, it was probably Hancock, the now newly traumatized, formerly neutralized Queen of disaster and stupidity. Any truce she'd wanted to uphold with him was probably gone with the wind. He actually felt kind of bad for her. For everyone on this island. Nobody knew how to ruin purity quite like the Straw Hat crew. And apparently Zoro was so good at it, he could do it in his sleep. Another thing to put on the resume.

He knocked, putting his ear to the doors and saying gruffly, "Hancock? You in there? Hurry up and get dressed. We gotta talk."

That had come out more confidently than he'd thought it might. Now he'd just calmly explain that what had happened was simply the result of spending too much time with her, and the baby making part of him had seen a window of opportunity it couldn't pass up. No big deal. Maybe she'd put him out of his humiliated misery and throw him out a window after she'd turned him to stone.

No. No, no, no. That wasn't right. As a man, he couldn't regret being attracted to the most beautiful woman in the world. (Or so sources told him she was.) This was a moment to stand tall. She would come out, he'd tell it like it was, and be able to go back to life knowing he was still human in some aspects. Healthy sex drive was nothing to be ashamed of-

The doors opened smoothly, allowing his eyes enough time to nearly pop out of his face, but not enough time to come up with an intelligent response to what he was seeing. He was pretty sure it sounded something like 'hunamahabahahaHA', which is Flustered for 'naked woman'.

This was indeed Hancock. _All of her_.

"I see you're awake," she said solemnly. "I was going to bring you here for the cleansing, but it saves me time if you're here already." She moved to grab his wrist and drag him inside, and he finally found some words.

"WHAT THE HELL. LET GO OF ME AND PUT SOME CLOTHES ON. ARE YOU STUPID?"

Why was this happening. Had someone already explained to her what he wanted? Was he ready to admit completely to himself that this was okay with him? Did she catch on on her own? Maybe she already knew about stuff like that. Maybe she was just stupid about the concept of marriage. Talk about setting yourself up for disaster…

"I have already explained the situation to everyone else," she said, closing the doors behind them and turning to give him a pitying look. "This was the only solution I could come up with. "

Oh God. Had she evacuated the entire palace just so they could be alone? That was moving kind of fast, wasn't it? Well, if her philosophy was to live like there's no tomorrow-

"I came here to talk about what happened," he started, turning to look at the window and folding his arms. His blush was inevitable, but he didn't have to take this lying down. Or standing up. Or from behind. Or however else she wanted it- NO. STOP. THIS WAS NOT OKAY. "I feel like there might've been some misunderstanding about what happened with…uh…my..."

"I am aware of the situation," she said gravely, him listening as she splashed a little, entering the water again. "You seem to be the source of it. You have all of the symptoms." He allowed himself to give her a half look over his shoulder, her gazing over at him. "I thought that if I could cut us off from everyone else I could prevent the spread of this…disease."

Disease? Maybe she was referring to how Luffy was acting stupider than usual because he'd finally started noticing girls? But that wasn't his fault. It wasn't really anyone's fault. It was just how it had happened. And as far as he was concerned, he wasn't quite that far gone. Depending on how you looked at it, the dick-brain and the actual-brain were two separate things. She would have to do more than give dream Zoro a hand job to get actual-brain to that level of "disease".

"For Luffy's sake, I will," she continued, holding out a hand and offering for him to join her, "I will make sure you are cleansed of the cock sickness and returned to your crew."

Zoro stared at her, face devoid of emotion.

"…Eh?"

* * *

"This wouldn't have happened if you'd just started with beginner level explanations," Usopp said, poking Chopper's forehead and getting kicked in the shin in return.

"I was asked a question and I answered it thinking I had explained myself well enough. I don't go out of my way to patronize," the doctor explained, sitting on Sunny's lawn deck on the verge of tears. "How was I supposed to know this is how they would interpret it…"

"And now they're under the impression Zoro is the primary carrier of 'cock sickness'," Nami heaved angrily, throwing her hands in the air and pacing over to the railing and gesturing towards the edge of the clearing where Luffy was getting yelled at by his supposed lover. She was only glad she wasn't the one doing it. She didn't have the energy right now. "As if we don't have enough to worry about already. Now he's stuck in there until she decides he's germ free."

"We've got a bigger issue on our hands," Sanji proclaimed, Luffy's hat in his possession and walking over to the group.

Usopp gave him a half lidded stare. "You're the only one who thinks that's a bigger issue."

"A woman's vulnerable mind is always the bigger issue," the blonde snapped, cigarette crushed between his teeth. "Since none of you shit heads _will tell me anything_, I'm going to assume the worst is happening. Nobody's bothered to explain to him the difference between love and what his dick wants."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Brook said calmly, Sanji swinging a leg up to kick him and missing.

"I feel like Margaret's about ready to kill him anyway," Nami confirmed, feeling some pity for her captain as she watched Margaret head back for the village, him following after her like he wasn't finished explaining something. "You don't have to worry about potential hanky panky tonight."

"I shouldn't have to worry at all, Nami-san," Sanji said tearfully, clinging to her waist and receiving a conk on the head. "Luffy can't understand the confines of a serious relationship. Think of how Margaret-chan is being taken advantage of…"

"Mm," Nami hummed sarcastically. "And I suppose you're a better candidate for her to consider."

"ABSOLUTELY," he burst out, flaming brilliantly. Luffy swung his way onto the deck and Sanji whirled to point a finger at him.

"YOU. SHIT HEAD. I CHALLENGE YOU TO-"

"Not in the mood," Luffy deadpanned, stuffing his hands in his pockets and heading for the guys' room. Everyone froze with the hurt tone he'd said it with, even Sanji pausing a second to blink. Or maybe it wasn't just the tone…

"What the hell happened to your voice," Usopp asked, raising an eyebrow. "Are you sick or something?"

"You sound like you've got a sore throat, Luffy," Chopper said, waddling over. "You okay?"

Luffy smiled weakly and laughed. "I dunno. I don't feel sick." His eyes clouded over with this statement, everyone wondering if maybe that weren't completely true. "Just not in the mood to talk."

"What did Margaret say to you," Nami inquired, him looking more annoyed now.

"She thinks it's my fault Hancock's locked in there with Zoro and won't come out 'til he's not sick. I didn't even do anything and she keeps going on about how I ruin everything and how I'm not being considerate of hospitabilitability or whatever," he pouted. "Zoro's not even sick. Hancock's probably just touching him and stuff-"

Sanji grasped the front of his shirt and glared at him. "What do you _mean_, they're _locked_ in there _together_? What the hell!" He turned to everyone else. "Isn't she just killing him? I thought that's what 'cleansing' meant..."

"Oi. That means you were perfectly okay with him being killed," Usopp pointed out, Sanji ignoring him and now starting to curse through his sobbing. Luffy shoved him away and stalked off for the room, his face softening into something too sad for him to wear.

"I don't wanna talk anymore. See you guys in the morning."

"Luffy!" Nami called chasing after him angrily. "What the hell are we gonna do about Zoro? I mean, it's nice of him to be the scape goat so nobody feels like chasing us out of here yet, but how long are we supposed to wait until he's 'better'? You have to talk to Hancock-san."

"Zoro can handle himself," Luffy grunted, shutting the door in her face. Nami's cheeks puffed up and she whirled around before flinging a shoe at the door.

"WHAT ABOUT MY FIVE STAR ACCOMMODATIONS, HUH? WE WERE KICKED OUT OF THE PALACE TOO."

"Sunny's good enough," he said unsympathetically, probably already nodding off like the unfeeling simpleton bastard he was. Figured. Zoro had already fucked up everything else. How did ruining Nami's life equate to him getting laid. There was something just wrong with this whole scenario.

She walked past the dork quartet and made her way upstairs, ready to complain to Robin and turn in for the night.

What she got was Kikyo, asleep in the nude in her bed and muttering muddily about saving her from the evil of men and cock sickness. Robin was nowhere to be seen.

What a fantastic trip this was turning out to be.

* * *

"When a woman tells you she needs some air," Robin said coldly, walking a few paces ahead of Franky through the woods, "it means she wants you to leave. With haste."

"I'll leave when I think you get what I'm trying to say," Franky said loudly and angrily. "Whether haste is thrown in there or whatever is up to me."

His eyes widened when her arms moved to sign for a disappearance and he grabbed her wrist quickly. She glared and tried to get him to let go.

"Unhand me."

"No, I think you and me better have a chat," he growled, dragging her in the direction of the ship. "We're both adults, we can act like it."

An arm appeared and slapped him. She said accusingly, "You are the last person I would expect to hear such a suggestion from. You have already put us through quite a bit of trouble with your antics. Release me before-"

She stopped talking, both of them now confused by the muffled sounds of tearful self counsel nearby. Franky let Robin go and she disappeared for a moment, returning with a solemn look in her eye.

"Margaret-chan is crying."

Franky blinked. "The nee-chan with Luffy?"

"Luffy is not with her," Robin said quietly, her real body brushing past him. "She seems to be upset over something to do with him, though. I'm going to see if she's okay."

He frowned. "I'll come too. I gotta apologize for what happened anyway."

Robin glared daggers. "How lucky she is, to receive an apology." He rolled his eyes when she turned away again. "Please make sure to otherwise keep your mouth shut. I don't want you to damage their relationship any more than you have."

"Look, it's not _all_ my fault. If they were loud and got caught, that's just an issue of timing. Otherwise she wouldn't've been thrown in jail."

Robin turned dangerously and gave him a look that suggested she might actually cause him irreparable bodily damage. "So it is my fault your voyeurism got me thrown in jail? How does that equate in your mind…"

"I didn't think you were actually doin' it," he said, pouting and looking away while he scratched at his nose. "I mean, it's flattering that you think of me like that and-"

"If I were you I would choose my words a bit more carefully from now on," she muttered, him feeling fingers dig into his neck. Right. Might be good to just shut up for a while.

Margaret paused in her conversation with her snake to glance up at the two people who had already been noisy enough to make their presence known. She looked away. "If Luffy sent you to speak with me…"

"We were just passing by. Senchou hasn't sent us," Robin said gently, sitting down in the grass with her. She looked up at Franky with hard eyes and said, "Franky-san has something to say to you. And me, if he so chooses."

He gave her a face and sighed. "Both you guys, I'm sorry things got so out of hand." He looked pointedly at Robin. "If _some of us_ weren't so hard to read, it wouldn't have to be this way."

"Hard to read, hardly," she replied with controlled haughtiness, then turning to give Margaret a soft smile. "Margaret-chan, I don't want the stupidity of the rest of us to get in the way of your relationship with Senchou."

"I'm fine," Margaret said quietly, curling her knees to her chin. "I just wish Luffy understood better how frustrating he is sometimes."

"I think he gets it," Franky offered, shaking his head. "There's only so much you can do about it though. You have to take him as he comes."

"Well, that's not necessarily true," Robin said, giving him a look. "Letting things be if the other person in the relationship isn't happy is the last thing you should do if you intend to keep someone in your life."

"But if that person can't handle you at your worst, they don't really deserve you at your best, now, do they," the cyborg said, returning the look. Margaret sighed, oblivious to their passive aggressive banter.

"I said some things that probably hurt his feelings," she said after a time, her snake coming up to nudge her face. "I told him he shouldn't have come here if this is how things have turned out."

"Did you mean what you said?" Robin asked, smiling warmly. Margaret shook her head.

"No. I already know I would rather be able to see him and meet all of you, even if all these weird things keep happening…"

"It's mostly Franky-san's fault," Robin said encouragingly, taking her hand. Franky folded his arms and leaned on a tree across from them.

"I didn't really understand why they put me in jail until Sweet Pea started saying it was for my own good," Margaret said dryly, a tired expression blotting the light in her eyes. "And now Hebihime-sama has decreed a three day lock down until Zoro-san is no longer ill."

"He ain't sick," Franky scoffed. "He's the last guy on the ocean I'd think would fall prey to 'that' kinda disease anyway…"

"All the more reason to believe this misunderstanding will right itself sooner than later," Robin offered. Margaret blushed softly and buried her face in her knees.

"It gets harder to stay angry at Luffy, Robin-san, but I don't want Luffy to feel so bad when he leaves again."

Robin blinked and smiled understandingly. "Ah. Maybe you can see how much he likes being with you and want him to be able to move on?"

Margaret was silent, but moved so she could look at her dark haired friend. "I think so. I can't go with him."

"You could, if that's what you both want," Robin said softly. "I don't think anyone on the ship would object."

Margaret shook her head. "No. I won't go. I like you all but…" She trailed off, looking for a way to explain what she was feeling. "…I don't think Luffy would want that either. We both have things we have to do. It's the same as before, except, maybe a little harder."

They both looked up to see Franky trying to hide the fact that he was crying like a baby and failing miserably. Robin, feeling a little moved herself at the maturity her friend was trying to show, spared an arm to pat his huge shoulder. She turned to Margaret and smiled in understanding.

"I think Luffy would appreciate hearing what you've said."

"But he's mad at me right now," the blonde muttered. "He was supposed to come over tonight, but," she paused to blush like she'd probably said too much already, "I…I told him I didn't want…um…"

Robin looked worried. "Oh dear. Did you tell him you didn't want to see him anymore?"

Margaret folded into herself like she was trying to make herself invisible. "N-No. We were supposed to touch and stuff-"

"Oi, nee-chan," Franky said quickly, face colored with perversion. Robin scowled. "Talking about that in the open…"

"You're indeed the world's most hypocritical man," Robin muttered, turning back to a fidgety Margaret. "Did you tell him you didn't want to anymore?"

The Amazon sank into ashamed depression. "I told him his thing looks weird and that I don't want to see it." Seeing her two companions give her equal looks of shock, she added, "…I've probably hurt his feelings terribly, haven't I…"

"_I'LL_ say," Franky sobbed loudly through his cupped hands, tears of sympathy for his captain already dripping to join the snot river near his nose. "What does a man have _left_ to take _pride_ in if his own _woman_ doesn't even appreciate his assets…"

Margaret shivered a little, cheeks pink under downcast eyes. "I…I am not…Luffy's…'woman'…"

Franky scowled through his liquid conviction, stalking over to stare down at her from his huge height. Robin gave him a warning look, but he had a piece to say, and by God, both of these delusional women were going to hear it before they could think or say one more thing.

"I've sailed with this crew long enough to know the difference," he started, sneering and pointing at her. "Luffy isn't some trash guy who'd just go around touchin' any girl he sees."

Robin was apparently going to let him continue. Good.

"That guy doesn't even care most of the time about normal stuff other guys care about. He's too busy livin' life with us and tryin' to make us happy. He wants someone in the crew, he says it. He wants to eat somethin', chances are there won't be anything left for the rest of us. And when it comes to girls, he's probably got less talent than a piece of string…"

He seemed to trail off for an abnormal amount of time, stuck in his defiant pointing pose, Robin growing less impressed by the second.

"If you've forgotten where you were going with that-"

"SHHHH gimme a second," he snapped, the older woman shaking her head. "Less talent than a piece of string…piece of string…"

"What he's trying to say is that Senchou undoubtedly has feelings for you that are different than the feelings he has for us. Or anyone else," Robin finished for him.

"AND, it ain't wrong being claimed as someone's woman," Franky said pointedly, waving a hand at them. "Men just like drawing lines. We don't want other guys sniffing around what they don't have business looking at."

"You really don't have a knack for explaining things, do you," Robin accused. He posed brilliantly.

"Women like me more for my body. Explanations for things like love are useless. It's just a super thing."

"Of course. We could not have hoped for something more wise to come out of your mouth..."

"I know you both are trying to help me, and I understand Luffy is important to all of you, but it might be best if we try to go back to normal," Margaret said, killing the spirit of just about everything they'd just discussed. "He and I didn't even know these things would make us act so strangely in the first place."

"THIS IS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT I WANT," Franky lamented, sweeping a hand over his eyes and trying to lean on a tree. It uprooted and he fell with it to the ground. He was ignored completely.

"I think it would be best if you discuss this with Senchou before shutting him out completely," Robin advised, touching her shoulder. "Communication is always the best route to take in a relationship." She paused a moment, looking over at Franky, bawling ever louder because of the booboo on his knee. "Yes, communication is best for keeping people together..."

* * *

It was a war zone. The whole damn place. Every door betrayed him, every hall a cackling fate trying to fling a noose over his neck.

"_Swordsman_," he heard her call, sweet pity caught in her throat and disguising the horror stained intentions she had. "_I will fix this…_"

No. Nobody could fix this. He had seen things. He had met people. He had been to too many places and known too many psycho's to not recognize crazed. You can't fix crazed. Crazed was what you cut down without a thought. And until he found the door behind which he'd foolishly left his weapons of choice, he had no defense against the crazed thing hot on his naked, terrified, freshly enlightened trail. How convenient he'd decided to bolt after she'd splashed him with fragrant oil. He imagined Hell's hounds would probably be more merciful.

But he was alone. He was stuck in this palace with this monster woman under the pretense she "exorcise him of the demon that had possessed him". Because that's the only explanation for that thing his penis had done in his sleep. He suddenly wanted to reevaluate his life and figure out where it might've been wise to not pick the path that had brought him here, to this moment, where he was running for his life from a scalpel wielding, self proclaimed high priestess of pain.

The problem wasn't just in her shitty deduction. It was in her complete lack of medical knowledge and regard for reason. There was no such thing as a Snake Goddess. His dick had not been possessed by her as punishment for making Hancock's life miserable. If he said it like that, she probably thought she was doing him a favor by trying to _bleed his fucking dick_.

"_Swooordsman…_"

Where had he gone wrong. Oh. Right. Waking up. That's usually where everything bad started. If it wasn't waking from a complete nightmare to another nightmare, it was waking from reluctantly admitted bliss into a reality that would make the nightmare impale itself on the nearest sharp object.

In these situations it was better to just keep moving. Locking himself in a room and being a sitting duck was an unacceptable option this time. No, this time, there was more on the line than just a swift kick to the nuts from the cook. This time, he would lose them. Hancock had lost her mind, the guys had left him alone to fend for himself thinking they were doing him some kind of favor. Except maybe Chopper. Chopper was probably trying to figure out how to explain the crazy away somewhere.

"_Your torment can end. You will be free of the demons that bind you._"

"LIKE I'M FALLING FOR THAT," he screamed, punching a door open and taking a glance before moving onto the next room. No swords.

"_At first I suspected you were just an asshole, but this explains so much…you might actually be able to be tolerable from now on…_"

She thought he was an asshole now? If she ever had to deal with _dickless_ Zoro she might have to reconsider her career as an amateur exorcist.

"_We need to finish the ritual, stupid swordsman, I'm trying to help you…_"

_There._

He punched through the door, dive bombed over the floor to slide into his swords, and had them unsheathed faster than the speed of blood to Sanji's nose. He waited for her appear. Felt sweat trickle down the curve of his own shoulder. Noticed, once again, how much it sucks being naked and wet with no wind to dry you. And also having to run from a woman. Who may or may not also be naked. Sanji was the one that wanted this, right? He'd probably be glad to offer up his dick as sacrifice.

One drop of water pelted his eyelashes, the color in his face draining. He looked up.

"I want peace, swordsman," she wheezed, crazy eyed, dewy skinned and spider limbed with her fingers encased in the holes she'd forced into the ceiling in order to hide there. He could just _cry_...

"Please don't do this," he whimpered. How was he even supposed to explain this to himself anymore.

"Think of it as embracing the rest of your life as a free man," she said before letting herself fall.

* * *

**Spoilers:** None of them are ever happy. _Ever_.

**Summary:** So, drama llama day between Luffy and Margaret, and nobody's helpful at all, and Hancock thinks Zoro's dick is possessed. Typical chapter for the world's most modest woman.

How even my brain.

_**VOTE ON THE POLL IN MY PROFILE. I never got an update for this out before I put it up. It is relevant to you.**_


	14. Ways

**Chapter 14: Ways**

* * *

"It's sundown. I'll have to escort you back to your home once these are back inside," the guard pointed out, helping the woman carry into the palace and put the last of the baby animals in their cages. Though Hancock wasn't fond of them, dogs were good for tracking and hunting, and cats kept mice out of the palace. Women with shops also used them to keep mice out of grain stores. The woman in charge of the animals, though Hancock's decree that everyone stay in their homes as much as possible now that she'd "contained the disease", had just delivered a litter of kittens and had taken extra care when transporting them back. It was now past curfew.

"Um, excuse me," Nyon said from the doorway, night time shadowing her fatigued and ornery face. "I understand Hebihime-sama gave strict instructions about who was allowed inside-"

"Nyon baa-san, she specifically instructed us not to let you inside no matter what," the guard sighed tiredly.

"That is because she has made up her mind to do something unnecessary and she knows I want to nag her," Nyon said gruffly, letting the guard and the girl in charge of the animal's usher her outside.

"When Hebihime-sama finishes the ritual all these strange things will leave," the woman said matter-of-factly with an admiring hand on her cheek. "Hebihime-sama takes excellent care of us. I'm sure Roronoa-san will be cured soon and the plague among us will disperse."

The noticeable problem on this island was that it was an island of _maidens_. The women with children might've caught onto the obvious flaw in Hancock's logic that an evil spirit was the cause of all the havoc if they'd had more information, but they were probably just as desperate to stop the madness as anyone. And who dared defy the great Pirate Empress? No one who valued their life. In which case everyone probably considered Nyon suicidal.

_I thought I might have more time to play around and do Hancock a favor with the swordsman, but it seems it's time to send the Straw Hat pirates on their way._

Romance in modesty was key. And gosh if she hadn't seen the "modesty" flowing out of Margaret's pores that morning before she'd been ripped from her archery lesson to sit in jail as a suspected infected in the search for cock sickness hosts. Monkey D. Luffy sure knew how to rain on his own parade. Wondering how that whole relationship had blossomed, she recalled the night Luffy had discovered his brother was to be executed. It put a bit of a damper on her mission to break in and counsel Hancock.

"Would you like an escort back to your home, Nyon baa-san?" the guard asked, Nyon blinking out of her daze. She nodded and grinned tiredly.

"Yes, that's fine by me. I wouldn't want you to get in trouble for not following through."

"We're all just trying to do our best," the guard said with a bit of cheerfulness. Nyon wondered if Hancock could really see how much they all trusted her to make good decisions.

…Well, she could dream.

* * *

Luffy hadn't really thought coming here would make him feel any better, but it was kind of nostalgic. He sat underneath the huge, worn rock and stared out at the calm belt, wondering why the wind didn't like this place. It was more distracting like this. He heard every single bug, every frog croaking, every Usopp coming out of the bushes…

"I'm sorry, alright," he said low and apologetic, putting his hands on his hips and staring at Luffy over his nose. "I didn't expect Sanji to take the hat, but in my defense, you've done an awful lot of evading since we got here."

Luffy gave him a tired look. "Huh?"

Usopp looked a little unsure of how to continue now that Luffy had already broken what the sniper had assumed would be a long yelling match about what a jerk he'd been to give up his hat so easily. He didn't really have a plan B.

"That's why you came out here, right? You're mad that I couldn't hide the fact that you bailed?"

"Naw," Luffy muttered, moving over so his best friend could plop down next to him. "Sanji won't do anything anyway."

Usopp smirked and said, "You're so trusting." Luffy stuck his tongue out and scratched his head with a grin.

"It doesn't really matter who found it or who ended up with it. Any of you guys would've kept it for me."

"No, seriously, you're gonna make me cry," Usopp sniffed, face greying with emotion and snot struggling to flow. Luffy laughed and elbowed him.

"I thought you were asleep."

"I was, and then I thought it was kind of weird that one of your limbs didn't whack me in the face after I'd gotten comfortable."

They smiled at each other, then fell into giggling against the rock.

"You know," Usopp mumbled, shaking his head, "a lot of crazy stuff has happened since we arrived here. We're bound to have crazy times wherever we go. I just want you to know, we're all here to talk about…stuff. Especially if it's noticeably different than the stuff…you're probably used to."

Luffy curled his lips inside themselves and blinked, his classic doll face throwing Usopp off even more. "Like what stuff?"

"To be blunt, the touching stuff," he came right out with, both hands making air chops at his own over-alled bits. "You and…_Margaret_…are involved in some heavy stuff, and I don't think you've got a full handle on what you're doing to each other."

Now Luffy frowned, shaking his head and pushing off of his legs to stand while Usopp watched. "I don't feel like talking about it." And he thought he didn't. It was hard to explain. He'd come out here in the first place so he could think about it alone. He gathered enough that, because it was something that was between the two of them, he'd probably end up having to talk it out with her anyway. If anything, they could all be grateful she wasn't in the crew and they wouldn't have to go through the same drama as when he'd had a falling out with the very guy sitting with him. Though, that was hardly a fair comparison. Usopp'd had his reasons. This thing he had with Margaret…it was…different.

"I didn't know I could feel stuff like that, Usopp," Luffy murmured, ignoring his own policy and questing for an outside opinion. He looked down at his hands like he was seeing them for the first time. "Skin feels different. It's so much different than…and things look different…I do stuff differently…"

Usopp couldn't help but smile. Luffy wasn't too difficult to figure out. Only to himself. And if all he needed to do was talk it out with someone…

"I don't like fighting with my friends," he admitted quietly. His voice hitched a little, "I want her to smile at me."

"But you want her to come to you because she's the one that got mad," Usopp reasoned, smiling at the familiar scenario. "Nothing we haven't seen before, eh?"

"Yeah, but she's a _girl_," Luffy choked, bratty, tired little crocodile tears threatening to tarnish his otherwise manly face. "And it's not like if she doesn't apologize she doesn't have a place to go. She _lives_ here. She might never talk to me _again_."

"That's a little melodramatic don't you think?" Usopp teased, Luffy sulking down until he was sitting by him again. He paused to give him a suspicious side glance before continuing, "And seriously, if I didn't know any better, you sound like your balls dropped literally today."

"What are you talking about," Luffy grumbled, head falling back and eyes closing to signal he was done thinking about heavy things for a while. "You can't drop them. They're attached." He blinked his eyes open again to stare suspiciously at his pants and asked, "Right? I mean, they don't come off…right? I already told Margaret they don't-"

"I don't even wanna know," Usopp deadpanned, getting up to take his leave. If a mutual ignorance about balls was at the core of this relationship, it was probably best to just let that lead where it might. More than likely, straight into a pregnancy. Would serve him right.

Luffy smiled a little as he watched him get up. "Oi. Usopp."

The sniper turned to give him a sleepy eyebrow over his retreating shoulder. "Hm?"

"Heh. Thanks. For listening."

Usopp wondered if God himself could resist that smile. Jerk. It was too late to be feeling this fuzzy...

They were both taken by surprise when Margaret materialized out of the shadows of the trees, mirroring their shock. It only took a moment of speechlessness and brief eye contact with Luffy for it to be replaced by flustered embarrassment.

"I…I'm sorry…I…"

"What're you doing out here?" Luffy questioned mildly, still rested against the rock with his hands folded behind his head. "I thought you went back home after you yelled at me."

Usopp sweat dropped at how bluntly he'd said it. He could almost see the arrow of shame stab Margaret in the heart.

"I'll leave first," he offered calmly, waving back to them as he disappeared into the woods and shook his head. Then he snorted.

Luffy wasn't the type to hold a grudge against a friend. And if Usopp remembered correctly, he'd just explained himself that this was what he wanted. She'd practically fallen into his lap out of nowhere. For whatever reason, the heavens didn't seem to be objecting that they reconcile as quickly as possible. Besides that, the night was nice. It was better to get out of there before they started making up. And whatever else that implied...

* * *

"I AM LITERALLY GOING TO STAB YOU TO DEATH."

"Good luck while you're like this."

"YOU BETTER HOPE I STAY LIKE THIS FOREVER, THEN. I'LL CHASE YOU INTO THE DARKEST CAVERNS OF HELL-"

"I don't doubt it. Hurry up and tell me which way the kitchen is…"

"AS IF I WOULD HELP YOU."

The way Zoro saw it, he was just improvising. A hungry man's gotta do what a hungry man's gotta do. So after he'd subdued his frantic assassin and tied her up, he'd taken a nap until she woke back up from her unexplained unconsciousness so she could help him find some food...

"I can't believe you would do that," Hancock muttered, mummified in a bed sheet with only her head sticking out and the rope dragging her behind him through the empty, barely lit halls of the palace. "You would knock out a naked woman…you coward…"

"I don't recall doing any such thing," he said cooly. "I would never knock out a woman. A crazed, anorexic cow on the other hand…"

"Burn in hell."

He came to some stairs and gave her an irritated look over his shoulder. Then he smirked with an idea.

"Rough or gentle."

"What are you muttering about," she growled, looking up at him, now upside down in her flipped vision. She blinked when she noticed the black void behind him that meant they'd come to a stair case. She glared.

"You're not even a _man_."

"Is that your answer? If that's what you want…"

"YOU'RE SERIOUS? YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS." She wriggled helplessly while he picked her up and held her over the stairs, dark with lack of daylight and significantly creepier now. She turned her head to bite him but he bounced her up in the air and delighted in her terrified shrieking.

"Tell me where the kitchen is. I want dinner."

"You might as well throw me. I don't exactly like being in your company and this way I won't have to look at your face." She smirked at his twitching eyebrow. "You are a heathen, after all. You should be starving yourself so I can purge you of the asshole demon inside of you."

"I'm afraid you're going to be sorely disappointed when I eat and have the patience to explain to you the ways of an average man," he said dangerously, gripping her tighter. "And I hate to tell you, but the asshole demon and myself are the same thing."

"Don't squeeze my butt," she hissed, wriggling without any thought of where she would be going if he let go. "And you won't be eating if you can't even figure out where to go…"

She was interrupted by the inappropriate gurgling of a stomach. Zoro narrowed his eye and watched her face darken with embarassment, knowing that if it hadn't been his stomach, it had to be hers that was protesting.

"You seemed pretty eager to eat when it was _my_ food up for grabs," he said bitterly. "I thought you were done starving yourself."

"What the hell are you talking about?" she said, as if he were stupid. It was his turn to blush now. Of course she wouldn't remember that. He'd dreamed that part.

"I intend to eat, so you might as well tell me quick. My patience isn't exactly the longest fuse I have," he grumbled.

She pouted teasingly, crooning, "And here I thought you were all kinds of soft cuddly. The raccoon thinks you tell an excellent bed time story. He even trusted you to sleep with me."

"The only bed time story you're getting is a eulogy," he said a shade darker, eye blacked out ominously as he lifted her higher over the stairs. "Kitchen. Now, woman."

"Only if you untie me," she tried to persuade seductively, only succeeding in making him look more uncomfortable. They both knew that meant her walking around in the nude.

"I don't want to lose my appetite," he finally coughed out, finding it hard to keep a straight face. "I mean, you look like a burrito right now, so it's kind of hard for me to concentrate…"

"GO DIE."

* * *

_Perhaps I haven't been acting my age lately…_

Robin leaned out over the railing of the ship and stared at the cliff rock, making pictures in her mind and giving herself an excuse to stay outside a little while longer. It seemed that a few other members of the crew were feeling similar. Usopp had dragged himself back from, presumably chasing Luffy, and rejected her offer to stay up and have coffee. So she was sipping alone. Luffy had still not returned. She smiled, thinking this might be how worried parents would deal with their adolescent children. Except he was a grown man and she was too lazy to pace with anxiety. Hopefully he wouldn't get eaten by a wild animal or fall off a cliff and drown without a witness to ever know what became of him...

"Ahem."

She blinked and looked down at the huge, shadowed figure of Franky standing on the edge of the shore right next to the ships hull. How he had gotten there unnoticed was beyond her brains current power to comprehend. When Margaret had left them to return home, it had been an awkward walk back to the ship. Neither of them had said much of anything, though she got the vibe that they were both feeling pretty ashamed. Assuming Margaret had been more in need of advice than a man and woman both many years her senior, the tables had been turned and they'd walked away enlightened about how they should be approaching their own relationship. Neither one had felt like verbalizing it, though. She had pretended to go back to her room, and to her knowledge, he had gone below deck to his work shop.

"You don't have to say anything," he called up loud enough for her to hear. "I've just been working on something and…I wanna give it to you."

Her blue eyes blinked questioningly, then she smiled. "Should I come down there?" she asked, gesturing out to him. He shook his head.

"Actually, where you're at is perfect. Don't even move an inch."

She tilted her head curiously, but kept quiet. Then, she noticed she hadn't been able to see him clearly a minute ago, and he was now walking back a bit so his neck didn't have to crane straight up to see her. He was wearing tights. And not just any tights. The bright blue tights Nami wore with leg warmers and an over sized shirt when she was feeling fat and wanted to do aerobics. Robin cringed slightly, noticing his speedo was worn over them, raising the question of whether he was going commando underneath the stolen garments.

"But super," he belted out, her immediately understanding and fighting the urge to laugh, "what light from yonder window breaks? It is the east, and_Nico Robin~_" he purred for flare, "is the sun."

Robin giggled, admittedly forgiving him a little for his idiocy with just this small piece.

"The moon is super jealous of you," he continued, her giggles getting a bit louder, but still controlled enough to listen. "Because you are more super than it…"

* * *

"Blue Fan is taking care of her sick roommate," Margaret began quietly, hands clasped awkwardly behind her back and her eyes on the ground. "So…I offered to take her guard shift for her."

"Mm." Luffy nodded, not bothering to grace her with much more than acknowledgement that she was there. She scuffed the grass with her boot and glanced over at him.

He could tell she felt bad. Every time he thought about letting her off the hook though, he remembered the insult to his genitals and slipped further into depression. He didn't think they looked particularly weird. All guys had them. He couldn't really help how they looked. Okay, yeah, the part where it got bigger and stuff was kind of new and it did look kind of weird, but he couldn't help it. It just did it on its own. His mouth squiggled with resentment, these new feelings suggesting an untouched piece of pride had been pinched a little too hard. He wondered at why it hurt so much, but wondered more at how she planned to obtain his forgiveness.

He listened to her walk over and sit down beside him against the rock, soft eyes studying the moss and vines that had overgrown fallen trees on either side and behind them.

"I think…I must be extremely selfish," she started out, pulling her knees up to her chin and sighing. He didn't say anything, but waited for her to continue.

"I'm happy you came back to see us. Even if it's caused some trouble." She set her quiver of arrows next to her and patted her snakes head. "I will be…" she struggled to not choke or show any excess emotion too soon, "...sad when you leave."

It was short and to the point, even if she hadn't gotten to the apology part yet. But he could appreciate that she wasn't trying to twist it like it was only his fault they were arguing. He gave her a sideways glance.

"We'll come back," he reassured her quietly. "And we've still got a few days."

She shrank within herself further, mumbling over her arms, "Robin-san says that…I'm in love. With you."

They sat in silence for a minute before he gave her a small smile.

"Brook said something like that too. About love."

She felt her face grow warm. "So…you feel that way too?"

"For you," he said with a shrug, "I don't really know what else it could be. I've never done something like this before. Love, I mean. So if it's like that and everyone else can see it, then I guess that's what it is."

She fidgeted shyly under his blunt scrutiny and asked, "Do you hate it? Feeling that way…"

He shook his head. "Nope. It feels good. It's like a weird adventure."

She sweat dropped. "An adventure?"

His nod was confident as he closed his eyes to wait on her inevitable apology. "Mm. People are adventures, too."

Her eyes widened, then crinkled with a warm smile. Luffy's words weren't as fancy, or maybe he wasn't as smart or well thought out as the women she'd learned everything she knew about life from. But her heart never felt as full as it did when he said things. Or even better, when she saw him act on those words so flawlessly. Was it so strange that she be in love with him? And then she flushed like a lobster, realizing suddenly that such an admirable person had just confessed basically the same thing to her. And with so much _confidence_, she noticed as her head began to smoke with the effort it took to process. Was she anything so special? Perhaps she should quest for an explanation…

…But maybe her initial intentions were where her mind should be. Her heart sank, remembering she'd told Robin she wanted to back track to make it easier on both of them when they finally had to part. She had already been graced with the intuition that they were headed for a rough time if they continued down this naive and temptingly touchy feely path. She enjoyed being friends with him, would do anything to ensure his peace of mind while he headed towards his dream...

_"People are adventures, too."_

Eventually, adventures reach an end. Whether it was reached happily or tragically was what hung in the balance.

"Luffy," she muttered, moving just a bit closer, "do you think it would be better if…we stopped?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Hm?"

"The…the touching," she sputtered, embarrassed, "I just don't want you…" she bit her lip, finally making words out of her feelings, "…I don't want you to think less of me while you're away." He didn't say anything so she mumbled, "I mean…we are nakama, but…it's just different…if we were normal it wouldn't be as hard…"

"That's no good," he said strictly, bringing his hands down to his knees and giving her a hard look. "You mean I'm supposed to pretend I don't wanna touch you. Right?"

Her face burned and her spirit nearly gave out. Not the smoothest fabric in the shop, was he… "I just don't want you to resent me if we keep arguing all the time. We…I'm sure this is how it will go if we continue this-"

"What the hell else am I supposed to do then," he said with surprising levels of irritation, "I can't pretend I don't feel that way if it's the way I'm feeling."

She was suddenly struck with the thought that she was probably hurting his feelings again. Regret swelled up into her throat, searching for some way to make him see it her way. Instead of giving her a chance to talk though, he moved his head over and pressed another inexperienced, nose bending kiss to her lips that made her heart soar and her stomach fuzzy.

He pulled away and glared at her with defiance. "You like those, right?"

She bowed her head and looked up at him ashamedly. She nodded, and he softened his eyes a little.

"I don't wanna pretend I don't like them. Do you?"

"I don't want to pretend either, Luffy," she choked, tears stinging at the corners of her lashes, "but it hurts in a way it didn't before…when you left to go help your brother. It hurts because I know…" She tried to hide her face with her hand but that made it seem a little more dramatic than she wanted, so she pulled at a piece of her hair. "…I won't get to see you for a long time. I don't know if I can take it…"

"Don't be such a baby," he criticized, flicking her forehead and squishing her cheeks between his palms. Her sniffles and the words he'd just uttered reminded him of a similar instance between himself and Ace. So he grinned and pushed her forehead to his.

"Hey," he mumbled, "I'm not gonna die or anything."

"I wasn't thinking that," she quivered, "I just like being around you."

"You have other nakama to hang out with, huh?" he suggested brightly. "I bet it won't hurt so much if you let them cheer you up."

"You won't miss me at all," she deadpanned, pulling away and gathering her things so she could leave. His jaw dropped a little in insulted disbelief at her audacity. "Go back to your ship. I have things to do."

"Oi!" he yelled as she took a few steps and he scrambled up to follow. "You were the one who found me first! We're not done!"

She hadn't meant to twist his meaning around and make him feel bad again, but he was an idiot still. He didn't get it. She would venture on with Hebihime-sama and think on nothing but what he was doing and if he was safe, and she'd sit at the back of his brain like all the other people he left behind, saying, 'I'll come back again'.

Calloused fingers took hold of her wrist, then spun her back around to look at their owner. She was still too ashamed to look him in the eye, and wasn't really sure she would be able to see well through her tears at this point anyway. He was beginning to understand the things she wanted from him, even if she wasn't saying anything. When she wasn't pulling away, like now, it meant she wanted him to say something because she was hurting. Even though she still had a lot to say sorry for too, it was hard to know it was because of something he had (or had not, depending on the situation) said or done.

"I don't do a lot of stuff right," he started off. "I get yelled at a lot. I don't like thinking about stuff and probably hurt people even if I don't mean to..."

"I'm not mad at you," she said loudly, finally crumbling with insecurity, "I just know that I love you a lot and hate to think that you don't feel the same way!"

"I just told you I did, moron!" he screeched, fangs bared. "Why the hell don't you GET IT?"

He pulled her close, making her nearly vomit her own heart, then told her, "All I can think about anymore is the weird stuff we do…the way it feels when you touch me a little…or a lot…how you say stuff all quiet…" he paused a moment, then moaned in her ear, "the way you _smell_…"

The smelling part wasn't just an exaggeration. It had been more of a mystery to him before the stadium was destroyed, but since their morning frolic in her room, the smell was now a representation of that entire experience. The part of his brain that was probably supposed to identify this 'smell' as a signal that she wanted some TLC was unfortunately still trying to chip at the wall separating it from the group of rare subjects that actually showcased his intelligence. He smelled it in her hair, in the pit of skin created by her clavicle, between her breasts; it was warm and comforting, and it made him horny as fuck. Sadly, he had no way of understanding this. So he cringed, Margaret whimpering with one hand pulling a bit at his shirt and the other moving to his neck, and at the very least figured out they wouldn't be leaving this place without reinforcing the physical aspect of their relationship. So much for sticking it to her.

"You know," he growled, frustrated with himself as he gripped her shoulders and let his accelerated breaths heat her lips, "Your's looks weird too." She wanted to kiss him, but she was a little confused about what he meant.

"…My what looks weird?"

"Your thing. Down there." With his aggravated puffing of the cheeks, she suddenly realized she'd forgotten the most important part of her apology.

"Luffy, I didn't mean any of what I said. I was just upset with you, and…" Now that she thought about it, that had probably been a pretty mean thing to say, for sure. Just like Robin and Franky had thought. If he'd said the same thing to her, already so shy, she would never want to let him see it again. "…I'm so sorry. The last thing I want to do is hurt your feelings." Then she paused and shrunk a little. "Does…does it really look strange? I can't see mine…"

"Sort of." He sighed, then parted his lips a bit and leaned into her face, their mouths just barely touching. "Know what, though…I like it…licking it…"

She was pink with their close proximity, but to say something so unabridged…oh, she could just pass out. They were kissing now, but she could barely bring herself to return it. He noticed and made an annoyed face.

"What now…"

"Don't say things like that," she muttered, face falling to his shoulder. "Something like that…it somehow seems wrong…"

"Nope. I meant it," he said bluntly, patting her back. "You're funny, too. When you pull on my hair…" he paused to go into his Lusty Margaret imitation, "…and say stuff like, 'Luffy~ your tongue is _good_~'…"

She pushed his face away with an angry pout and he laughed, tongue violating her hand so she pulled away with disgust. "Aw, come on, don't be that way. I liked it." He smiled into her ear. "You taste nice."

"I DO NOT," she screeched, dizzy with the heat and embarrassment. "I…THAT…THAT CAN'T…I mean…how does something like that…" She ran a hand through her hair and remembered how ridiculously good it had felt, how she'd gone along with it. Now that she wasn't totally high off of his presence, she had time to reflect on her own shamelessness. The consequences of which were a now super paranoid roommate and another unlocked level of imaginativeness. Oh, and some jail time. She could feel herself getting wet just thinking about her sins.

"Do mine," he said, eyes glittering hopefully. "Please? You said you would…"

She blinked in surprise, damn well near fainting soon. "…You want me to? You're not mad at me because I said it looks weird?"

He shrugged and burrowed into her neck. "You said you were sorry. I just figured…since you said it feels good…"

"It does," she said with soft tenderness at the prospect of making him feel the way she had. Her smile was small and shy. "I'd like that. If you'd let me…"

He gave her a toothy grin and tackled her to the ground, celebrating their plans with dog licks all over her face. She was probably the only person in the world who could take that and label it with a certain level of sexiness.

"By the way," he asked suddenly, pausing in his assault on her body to give her a curious head tilt, "does my voice sound…different to you?"

"I don't know…I don't really care," she admitted with a touch of whininess, pulling his shirt from his shoulders and leaning up to bite his lip.

* * *

"As a doctor, I should at least be allowed to see if Zoro's alright," Chopper pleaded with the guards, all sitting around a fire pit and drinking. One patted his hat kindly and gave him a cup of his own, offering him a seat beside her.

"I'm sorry, Chopper-san, but Hebihime-sama's orders are what we are bound to obey. You don't really have to worry about him if he is in her care."

Another guard sighed and looked up at the darkened palace. "Hebihime-sama is truly magnificent, and she is determined to save your swordsman from his curse."

"Right. Curse." The reindeer's face twisted with annoyed sarcasm, then he perked up a little. "Does she really think he has a…a curse? How would she know?"

"Well, we aren't entirely sure," the girl next to him said solemnly, "but it may have something to do with the gorgon eyes on her back…"

Chopper blinked. "Gorgon…eyes? On her back?"

A fat guard threw a small piece of wood into the flames and nodded with a smile. "It is the pride of our nation. The story of how Hebihime-sama and her sisters destroyed a gorgon and were cursed with eyes on their backs. Eyes that would, if not otherwise covered, turn anyone who looked upon them to stone."

"Maybe because Hebihime-sama has dealt with this kind of thing before she can sympathize," the girl next to Chopper explained. "She will absolutely help him."

Chopper's eyes still flickered with naive admiration. "To have eyes on her back and fight that kind of monster…she is very brave, right? I guess I knew she was strong, but that…I wonder if she's told Zoro! He must think that's amazing! We've never even seen one of those things before!"

All the guards laughed and nodded in agreement.

"We could not ask for a better woman to look after us."

Chopper looked over at Sanji, walking smoothly as a note on Brook's violin around the circle of girls with trays of snacks. It had been his idea to inquire about the gravity of what was really going on inside, but he'd been distracted by breasts, er, ladies in need of sustenance again, and had probably completely forgotten the original goal. It was probably for the best. He'd need to rest soon so he could rampage in the morning. Not to mention they still had to finish rebuilding the stadium. Which they couldn't do very easily now since the rest of the island was on lock down. There was going to be a lot to keep busy with.

_Sleep well, Zoro. You probably don't need much help with that, though..._

* * *

Hancock sat at one end of the large dining table, wrapped in the sheet she'd been confined in earlier and staring with suspicious concern at the human being at the other end. She'd taken the liberty of lighting a couple torches, as the ones in the hallway near her room were now confirmed to be the only ones the staff had been courteous enough to leave. Well, it wouldn't be so annoying to her if something caught fire and she was more heavily inconvenienced, but right now that wasn't what she was worried about. She had a different kind of issue on her hands. The kind she hadn't really been faced with before. Funny how it always seemed the same person was involved…

She had finally bothered to tell him where the kitchen was, and after all the trouble he'd gone to and all of the unnecessary acrobatics they'd endured over each other's stubborn pride, it had been her who had literally had to guide him by the arm to their destination. Why she'd had to was beyond her, save the idea he had finally realized his sense of direction was impossibly horrible. Fat chance. He had neither shown particular pleasure upon arrival, nor any significant signs of disgust while being led around. He hadn't shown much of anything since that incident.

Half of his sullen face was orange with illumination, high lighting the hard, thin lines that made up his features; every so often the eyes would soften into something thoughtful. She was used to the fact that she couldn't really hold his attention unless they were screaming at each other, but this was different than him being arrogant and, until otherwise confirmed, of questionable sexuality. It nagged at her mind, eye twitching at how increasingly heavy the air was getting. She glared at her bowl of unfinished rice gruel and plate of sliced pears, the only things she had felt like eating. There hadn't been much to choose from, and she hadn't felt like cooking so late at night. He hadn't eaten as much as she thought he might, but he'd scarfed down some rice and dried strips of fish before settling into his current broody state. Yes, that was a good word. Broody.

He caught her narrowed eyes from across the table and stared for a minute before calling across the void, "What. What is it. Stop staring at me. You're creepy." And then he went back to sighing into the hand propping his face up.

She pouted and grabbed at the sides of her sheet hood, not exactly satisfied with the watery, pussy tone he'd said that with. Like he didn't have half the heart to acknowledge her existence anymore. She wasn't sure why this was so hard to swallow, considering their reasons for being in this place together.

Waking up to find him talking in his sleep and sweating uncomfortably had been alarming enough. She had thought his burn might be infected, so she'd tried to handle that much. The swelling was at the front though, and terrifyingly advanced. Her first thought had been to try to bring it down by rubbing it with ointment, but that had only made it worse. She had recognized a couple symptoms though, and that thought had bugged her the whole time she was caring for him. The fever, the mumbled calling of her name, the clutch to his heart…it made her remember the time she had fallen ill with worry that Luffy might leave her alone.

Was it coincidence that more than one case of this disease had occurred during Luffy's visit to the island? Most definitely not. She suspected more women than herself had caught onto how wonderful he was. The swordsman probably sensed it too. He was her greatest threat; the only one who would be going with Luffy when they left.

She felt a pang in her heart, the prospect of being alone again, with nobody to scream at- no, that wasn't right…nobody to…if Luffy was not around…

She was swallowed up by a soundless darkness, noticing for the first time in almost a week that she and Luffy had spent literally no time together. All of her company had been this broccoli head. Her rival in love, soon to have the upper hand as he and Luffy sailed off into the sunset-

Her hand patted her chest and she breathed deeply. This thought, however misconstrued it seemed to herself, was overshadowed again by the gloominess of the man sitting across from her. Was he feeling the same, even though he was to be accompanying the man her heart belonged to when they said goodbye? How selfish. She would set him straight.

He noticed her advancing over the table, scooting on her barely covered thighs and holding the sheet around the rest of her body. She would stop if she noticed his eyes looking over, and then continue on until he looked again. He blushed despite himself. It was something that would've been cute had it not been her.

"It was not my fault we fell down the stairs, I'm sure you're aware," she started off, getting right to the point, "so I know that is not why you are so upset."

A vein rose over his forehead, all cuteness immediately dissipating when she opened her mouth. "Shut up and leave me alone."

"I will not take you back to your room until you admit that you are in love with Luffy and that you can't stand that he may like me more than you."

He fell out of his chair, then quickly righted himself, getting in her face with gritted teeth. "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU I DON'T SWING THAT WAY?"

"You are the test of love I have been sent from the Snake Goddess, and I will rid these feelings from you if it kills me," she said adamantly, looking into his face just as intensely now that he was standing and currently taller than her. "You are testing me. Otherwise…I would not feel this way…"

"Well whatever the hell you're feeling, it's got nothing to do with me," he spat back, her feeling a bit of relief now that he was irritated and back to normal. Then he was back to being strange again, his accidental lingering over the sheet's dip into her chest going undetected by her.

"Can't you even cover yourself properly…"

"You think you're so smart, you fix it for me," she said harshly, starting to take the whole thing off. He pushed it back over her, mouth a squiggle of exhaustion.

"Do you not even see me as a man?"

She blinked in genuine surprise. "…Does it bother you to see me this way?"

The words caught in his throat, suddenly realizing her meaning. "…I suppose it does."

Her heart pounded with questions while he went about fixing her sheet so it covered her better. She had grown comfortable with him seeing her naked, however strange that seemed. He had not bothered to pry into the scar on her back all this time; a courtesy she suddenly wasn't sure she wanted anymore. The one on his chest; she suddenly wanted to know where it had come from. She became aware of the general amount of skin they had shown each other and how little she understood about this person she had grown to liken to wall paper.

His thumb pressed her shoulder a little; why was it so coarse? She looked down at his ankles; how had those gotten there? She tried to imagine watching these things leaving her behind, knowing she had not bothered to know the story behind them. It clenched her in a more disturbing way than when she imagined Luffy moving on. She had felt it would be appropriate to die if he, or rather the glittering idea of him, were to walk away. To die because the man before her left…that prospect was impossible. Instead, something more frightening, like being compelled to live in his absence, waiting to see who had grown more while they were apart…

He brought the hood over her forehead, blinking at the water droplets sliding down his wrist and onto the table. She was shaking.

"Oi," he said with controlled concern, "you crying?"

She wanted to throw up. Unbeknownst to herself, she had come to recognize him as a companion. Someone who would look at her, no matter what stupid thing she did or said, and accept it while thinking that was just the way she was. And be okay with it. Even if she was naked. Even if she had some weird thing on her back that he couldn't explain. Even if she got jealous and tried to stab him into swearing he would never look at Luffy and wish he had the relationship they had. If he was indeed in love with Luffy.

Zoro stood stupidly, watching her swipe silently at the tears falling down her face. He was no good at comforting people, reindeer excluded, but felt like he should offer some kind of gesture or explanation to get her to calm down. He sat back in his chair, scooting until she could look down at his face through her tears, and put both elbows down. Wondering whether he should pat the hand holding the sheet over her crotch, he decided against it and scratched at his neck.

"I guess I was just shook up a little. I don't have a good track record with...stairs," he admitted, her sniffing and listening. "Your snake saved me the trouble of another injury, but…" He cut himself off, embarrassed by his next words. "…I'm just glad you weren't hurt."

"Why are you like this…" she quivered, on the verge of harder tears. "I have done nothing but frighten you with my might and glory since the time we met…"

"You've got it wrong, idiot," he muttered, blinking and raising an eyebrow. "And I guess that's just the way it is between us."

So. They had a way between them. She blushed, embarrassed by her splotched face and shivering body. He was about to ask if she was cold when he felt the strangest thing, almost like she'd leaned down to kiss the top of his head. It indeed looked that way, but his brain refused to believe his eyes, and his face just went ahead and signaled that his ears should pink to cover all bases of unsureness.

How many times had he said her name? Did it just sound more natural when it came out of his mouth? How would his name sound coming from her? Would he even care?

He rose to ask her if she was tired enough to call it a night, then froze when her head dropped to the middle of his chest, hands gripping the fabric in her lap. He caught his breath in his throat when he heard her utter something under her own.

"…Zoro," she said tiredly, comfortably, and as naturally as anything that had ever come to her.

* * *

Brook had thought this would be an interesting way to finish off the night, but perhaps he'd bitten off more than he could chew. Though, it's hard to chew when you're made of just bones. Skull joke!

After finishing a particularly satisfying session of watching the two younger Boa sister's taking a late night bath in the public springs in lieu of their temporary displacement from the palace, Brook's spirit was merrily on its way back to his body, when it caught sight of something wholly disturbing near the shore not too far from where the ship was docked. It was a small dinghy, with what looked to be an older man, a younger man around Zoro or Sanji's age, and a woman. They didn't seem to be trying to move with particular stealth, so perhaps they were people who had gotten lucky after a shipwreck and were seeking out assistance? Either way, this was a new development he couldn't really ignore.

_I'd better let Robin-san know…this could be interesting._

* * *

**A/N:**_ Hope you liked it! Feedback is appreciated, and I'm hoping my alerts get fixed soon or something. :P_

_Have an awesome day~_


	15. To Whom It May Concern

**A/N:** _I think I'm just always going to be one of those people who doubts their abilities no matter what. I try to motivate myself and convince myself I just have to keep writing and learn from mistakes, but all I see a lot of the time are flaws and so it's discouraging and I just don't bother trying. So, that's really all I can give you for an explanation. I'm sorry. This story is going to be finished, because I'm at that stage in writing where I realize I kind of have to use both of my middle fingers to type everything out. Finishing this story is going to be the most satisfying 'fuck you' to the skill level I had two years ago._

* * *

**Suppressed**

**Ch. 15: To Whom It May Concern**

* * *

The lonely, now more intimidating halls of the palace swallowed the two sets of bare feet walking through them, one shying from the front while the brain multitasked and pondered the other set of feet. The one at the forefront noticed something was wrong and turned so they could face each other.

"Aren't you going to reprimand me for walking faster than you?" he said, half jokingly, half serious, so either way she could come up with a suitable reply.

Instead, she stared at him through her hood, and then looked away at some lint near the wall. He could understand if she were too worn out to banter, but the gentle pull in his chest told him it was something heavier than physical fatigue that weighed on her. It was his fault. They had practically been forced to become friends, which he imagined wasn't an easy thing to admit for her in the first place, and then he'd gone and set them back into a place where it was uncomfortable.

He shrugged and turned to keep walking, but inside he was standing in a corner and assessing what the word 'friendship' entailed. Again. And because he didn't usually take a shit-ton of time to analyze _why_ he thought the stuff he thought like other people probably did, it was grueling even getting basic connections let alone something profound.

Square one had been given to him; he was sexually attracted to her. His dick had told him so. Everything after that was fuzzified by seemingly needless little complications of the mind. Sexual attraction should eventually lead to sex if it's mutual. They hadn't had sex. And not just because she didn't want it. Which he was sure she didn't. Why would she. She wanted Luffy.

And branching off of _that_ elephant in the room (his room, anyway), because of his usual reaction to not getting what he wanted, which was to immediately move on to the next thing, the overwhelming feeling of having his lungs clapped together like two fleshy cymbals probably insinuated he was jealous. Jealousy had no room to manifest over matters of sex. If a woman didn't want him, it should be easy enough to find a different one. So the next thing to wonder was if this was even about sex anymore.

He turned over his shoulder again, gazing back at her shuffling, linen covered body. The glow of the moon caught her as they passed a tall window; he felt he might be onto something. When the fuck had the celestial bodies—suddenly much more noticeable—been so hard at work presenting shit as…well, whatever she'd looked like. More than attractive, less than what he felt like acknowledging. His face burned.

Before he had time to process he had stopped walking, there was a tug at the back of his shirt. He didn't turn, but sucked in a breath and let the fabric be twisted between the fingers that had taken it into their grip.

"Something bad happened, didn't it," she said quietly, his eyes widening. "That's why you won't talk about it."

He looked towards the ceiling and said with gruff softness, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You wouldn't let me go," she continued, feeling him grow rigid when he caught on to what she was speaking of. She bit her lip, then finished, "I've never seen you like that before. Even after the other times. Only on the stairs..."

She probably knew she was heading towards a nerve, which was why she wasn't demanding he tell her. He appreciated it. The lock on that door, however, remained intact. He turned and gave her a look that wasn't as sharp as what she would have gotten if she had been less respectful, but made her blush out of shame for asking all the same.

"I don't want to talk about it."

It wasn't mean. He had tried to say it as kindly as he could. Maybe that was the opposite of what he should've done. But he couldn't help feeling that if they had much more of this…this weird stuff that brought them closer, it would hurt somewhere else other than his gut. Which was where most of the ache buzzed when she looked away. Like she had known he would say something like that. When had he gotten so predictable? She on the other hand continued to surprise him. She let go of the shirt, folding her arms over herself.

Mouth shifting for a moment like she couldn't find the right words, she finally spoke, "I…have scars like that too."

His eyebrows raised in question, especially when one hand padded at her chest as if she hadn't said enough with her words.

"Here," she whispered, "it hurts the most." Her eyes fell on the peak of the scar he'd earned from Mihawk coming up from the shirt fabric and she shook her head slowly.

"You would never mind the ones on your body, would you…"

He listened to her speak, not able to come up with something that might stop the welling of tears over the blue of her irises. Things caught in his throat. Probably words someone else could better use to comfort.

"…because you have been hurt there. And I," she sniffled, lip quivering, "I thought you were awful. I really did."

He smiled out of inability to allow them to sink further into this sand trap. "You and I are probably both pretty awful if we spend enough time dwelling on it."

"You are not awful," she defended fiercely, offended that he would even try to put them in the same pot. "That…is why you and Luffy have such a respect for each other."

What could he say. They both understood that what she'd said wasn't far from the truth. The words had twisted enviously, no surprise, but then she slid down to her knees and rubbed her nose on the sheet, whimpering, "Who am I to claim I could judge a man better than him."

After allowing for a beat to let that sit between them, he got tired of watching her be so crumpled; he leaned down, picked her up, and hoisted her over his shoulder. She was too miserable to protest.

"You're tired's what you are…"

"Don't change the subject. You'll confuse me."

"Who's changing anything. You think you're so awful at judging while you're wide awake, I doubt crying yourself into a coma is going to help any."

"I am the cursed one," she finally cracked, "I am— wrong door, idiot…further down the hall…"

His face burned all the while, brain registering the search for 'their room', and ordering his throat to continuously feel the urge to clear itself. Never mind she was wallowing in emotional despair draped over his shoulder with only a sheet to keep her clothed; all he was thinking was that they might have to…well, not _have_ to, but, it only felt natural that…since they were both a little down and in need of each other's company…well, not in _need _maybe, but…her company wouldn't be completely undesirable right now…

"Put me down now," she whined when they'd found the right room, hoisting herself up enough that he could grip her around the waist. She moved to grip his shoulders and looked down over her boobs at him. "But do you understand what I'm saying? I think you and I…well, we're not so different…like you said…we both value Luffy's friendship…if we got along better…maybe…"

He was having the hardest time trying to hear her over the glorious, flowery scent of warm, recently bathed breasts. Something about their friendship, maybe. His nose nudged at the sheet acting as a barrier to her cleavage. This was probably borderline Sanji behavior, but it didn't count if he could keep his blood in his nose, right? And she hadn't noticed yet, so he couldn't be bothered to care. He'd done a pretty good job holding back so far. Every dog expected a little incentive for behaving…

"Mm," he mumbled, pinking faintly and touching the tip of his nose to the underside of one of them.

"Put me down," she reminded him again, wriggling in his hands.

The request was simple, but he was loathe to follow through. He decided to bring her over to the bed himself. Wearily, and with a bit of expectance, she sat curled on the bed and looked up at him. He returned the look, equally weary, probably equally vulnerable.

"Swordsman," she said tiredly, rubbing at her eyes, "tell me a story…"

He blinked and gave her an amused smile. "That's a bit of an odd request."

Instead of giving a cranky retort, she smiled dreamily and laid against her pillow. "I won't have many more chances to ask you to do embarrassing things for me."

"Alright, then," he growled, an undertone of fondness camouflaged by annoyance. "Anything in particular you want it to be about?"

"As long as you make me believe it," she told him, accommodating for him when he moved to sit beside her. He put his hands on his knees and stared at the floor. With a scratch of his neck and a small sigh, he started the story.

"Once," she noticed he spoke with a bit of sadness, "there was a woman—" he rethought his statement and laughed a bit, "—a very_ tall_ woman, who wanted to be the greatest warrior the world had ever seen. With her immense strength and natural will to succeed, she was known far and wide as someone nearly impossible to defeat."

"This woman sounds very familiar," Hancock said jokingly, smirking up at him. It was replaced by a confused frown when he didn't turn to look at her.

"A man came to her one day, a very short man with the same goals and lesser skills," he continued. "She quickly made it clear he had a long way to go before he could fight her as an equal. So, he worked hard every day in order to beat her. Because he was convinced that if anyone could achieve those things they both wanted and be a worthy rival, it was her."

There was a bit of silence. Instead of the teasing interjections she'd planned on making once she realized the story might be about her somehow, Hancock laid where she was and felt the room grow smaller. Like the more he talked, the less space there was between them.

"He never did beat her in the end," he said suddenly. "He challenged her so many times…and then one day, she confided in him that she wasn't as confident as he thought she was. You see, she was starting to get shorter. Or the man…was getting taller. And, uh…it kinda pissed him off that she could waver like that. So he made her make a promise. That it would be one of them that would reach that goal. No matter what." He stopped talking, then very quietly said, "She climbed so high, and she was so young...and she fell. There wasn't anything the man could compare himself to. No way to measure his growth for sure. So he just worked as hard as he could until he couldn't breathe anymore."

Hancock gripped her pillow, somehow feeling this might be more than just a story. Perhaps it was the small but obvious strain in his voice when he had reached the end. Maybe it was the way he still hadn't looked at her the whole time he was telling it. He didn't seem the type to do those kinds of things. Unless he was too afraid to bluntly communicate something. She swallowed her sarcasm and spoke, "Then, the woman is responsible for giving the man something to work towards."

He didn't say anything.

_Ah._

She understood, then. He was that kind of man. There was a faint jerk in her chest, signaling she accepted the strange communications of a man trying to, if just because he was exhausted and off his guard, show her something so she could see why he did things the way he did. All while maintaining a thin wall between them. In case she wasn't interested in knowing. Like a shadow puppet show with an awkward director trying his best to keep his identity hidden.

They were both probably going to sleep and pretend none of this had happened in the morning; her and her desperate attempt to rip out the knotted confusion in the strands that made up her brain by stabbing him, and Zoro with his decision to tear some briars from something old and stinging to let her get a look at where his roots were holding fast. She wanted to say it didn't mean something to her that he didn't just think she was a crazy woman anymore. She also wanted to say that was to be expected if she wanted Luffy to accept her. Getting closer to his nakama…that was something he would want. It felt more complicated than that, though. And at the same time, more simple.

The sheets ruffled lightly with his shifting to finally look her in the face. It was dark, but their eyes had long adjusted to it. The moon did not reach here, but she radiated something he liked. It was softer, more matted on her skin. Like she'd absorbed it and made it her own. He really…really liked it…

She didn't flinch when he moved to hover closer to her. He had seemed to fold over himself enough times to fade into the dark itself, one slitted eye blinking slowly, like he wasn't sure about what he was seeing out of it.

"Maybe," he murmured, glancing across the room. "It doesn't really matter I guess. You think you can sleep now?"

"Yes. Thank you."

He stayed curved toward her, mocha hands making no move to push himself away and leave. She scraped at her pillow with one finger, breathing and thinking about how familiar, yet foreign this felt at the same time. They might have realized they were both waiting for the same thing from each other. She couldn't ask him to stay, though. And he wouldn't be the one to admit out loud that he wanted to.

He was about to get up when he caught sight of something outside the still open doors of the room. It was momentary, and the movement was small, but he immediately went from being a confused ruck sack of sentimentality to a hackled beast in less time than it took her to blink. Something was in here, and it didn't even have the decency to produce enough readable intent for him to figure out if he should kill it or not.

"What is it," she said quietly, feeling his aura change and watching him rise to put a sword in his hands. He didn't answer, so she slipped with equal stealth from the sheets and followed behind, tense with insecurity. Had someone broken in and they hadn't noticed? Who would dare such a thing with nothing but the ruthless Boa Hancock to face if they were caught?

"Looks like I panicked for nothing," Zoro muttered, walking over to the side and picking something up. Hancock watched from the door. She paled, seeing what was in Zoro's hands when he walked back to her.

"I don't know how he got in, but, this is definitely the one you kicked that day," he said gruffly, holding up the tiny dog, now growling in Hancock's face like the swordsman was holding it up to a personified nightmare. "Looks like you're no good at charming dogs, eh?"

"_Get it away from me_."

Zoro's brain did a double take in his skull. This was not the voice she used when telling him to do things because she thought she was better than him. This was not the authoritative voice of a woman in charge of an entire country. It was the mutter of a creature backed into a corner with violent choices to make. And his eyes soaked in the image it came with; something he would never be able to forget for the remainder of his life.

He looked past the dog, her face tightened into a snarl, terrible and knotted over her canines so that it looked like her lips were kept in place by wires. For a split second, his heart stopped for sheer unfamiliarity, and ultimately a twinge of fear. Not fear of an opponent or fear he'd done something wrong. Those were fears he had either thrown away or knew well enough to categorize. This…was a new kind of monstrosity, he felt, a fear of how the sneer would spread to the rest of her body. How it might mangle and distort the rest of her. For surely that's the only reason a facial like that comes out of hiding. To take control of every other feature. Something completely sure it has a stronghold.

He narrowed his eyes and brought the dog to his hip, a smarter instinct sensing he should not question this command. It smelt of the crazy he thought he'd just gotten rid of for the night. Before he had a chance to ask her a rational question, her hands were digging at her head, uncombed hair hanging through the spaces of her fingers and shaking with the waves of convulsing starting from her torso and burning through her arms. The sneer had advanced to the rest of her, forcing her to crinkle over herself, and all he could do was watch dumbfounded while she moved to the floor and folded herself into origami.

* * *

_"Do it, Hancock-chan. If you want to protect your sisters."_

_"Don't be so boring, boy. Let's play with her…I'll give you a chance."_

_"A game?"_

_"Here's how it goes, my dear, since you're so pretty—"_

* * *

"Oi! Wait up! Where the hell are you going?!"

Zoro stood alone in the corridor now, besides the dog, watching the sheet she'd abandoned flutter to the ground upon her hasty, clumsy retreat up the tiled floor to who knows where. By the faint, far off light of a lone torch her pale nudity glistened like a large tear drop falling from a great height. And just as dramatic. Seriously, what had _that_ been all about?

Before he could try to maybe go for academic and think critically again, her blood curdling scream carried from where she'd disappeared to, echoing off the walls. He immediately assumed the worst; maybe somebody wanted her dead after all and had come to kill her while she was supposed to be busy playing assassin to him. She wasn't the easiest to get along with, but then again, there were only adoring women on this island. He bounded up the hall, but slowed, seeing her slam into the corner on her way back after failing to get enough traction to turn. Then she was off running again, a beast of a woman, breasts heaving and arms jostling him into a moment of hypnotized oblivion. And then she was screaming for him to _MOVE_, but it was too late, and they both went sprawling over the floor.

"THEY'RE EVERYWHERE," she screeched, the soft patters of what he assumed were her attackers coming up the hall. He cursed through the bump on his head, ignoring the naked woman clawing to climb over him, and blinked at the fuzzy mob coming to greet them. Dogs, many of them pups, and cats of about the same age, mewled and yipped now that they'd found humans to take responsibility for their disorientation and made moves to come and lick or nuzzle them. Hancock was having none of it.

"GET AWAY FROM ME! GET OUT! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Zoro wanted to laugh, but she sounded a bit too frantic, too scared for this to be joked about. Instead, he clasped his hands over her waist to stop her crotch's shameless ascent towards his face and squeezed his eyes shut beneath the weight of her boobs until color swirled.

"Woman, calm down. You're making a disgrace of yourself."

"LET ME GO! I DON'T WANT…I CAN'T…" And then she was sobbing, and he wished the world would just pause for a couple seconds so he could figure out how the fuck they'd gotten here.

"Nee-sama?! Nee-sama, I hear her screaming! Nee-sama!"

His ears perked at hearing the familiar voices of one of her sisters in the distance, probably the level below them. Relief flooded in, noticing Hancock had toned down the crying and was listening as well. They must have finally decided to stop letting her be a brat and break in…

He watched the first figure to appear grab the torch and walk quickly towards them through the melting dark, the massive weight of how they must've looked on the floor together making his gut lurch when more figures followed and stopped just as abruptly beside the first. Sandersonia and Marigold barreled through the bodies and ignored the dogs and cats, wearing looks that would've killed, knives in their hands for insurance.

"WHOA, WHOA, THIS ISN'T WHAT IT—"

Hancock pushed a hand over his face to muffle his freak out, and was on her feet in an instant, foot crushing into his spleen while she held up her hands. Her sisters immediately backed off, but more because of their eldest sister's fierce, unquestionable look of absolute authority. They'd gone through this already; if she was destined to have all of her rendezvous with this idiot misinterpreted, it would have to wait until they listened to what she had to say, now.

"Get them out," she quavered like the receding of waves before they come back to destroy something. "Get all of these…_things_…out of my sight."

"You certainly caught me off guard, Hancock," Rayleigh finally had a mind to say with knowing tiredness, everyone else in their small party either too busy ogling Hancock's nudity, or weary with the hour they'd been awoken to speak.

Hancock didn't seem particularly interested in welcoming him with more than a sneer and an attempt to punt one of the tiny beasts that was lurking near her foot into the afterlife. Zoro picked her up without thinking to subjugate her, her legs kicking out with defiance, punching at his neck while he struggled to get her to calm down. Marigold and Sandersonia didn't look pleased with how touchy feely they had gotten with nobody else around, but they didn't ask questions and took the squirming animals in their arms.

"This is the empress of this island," Rayleigh said flatly, pointing out Hancock while the young man beside him tried to put a stopper on his nosebleed. The woman beside him didn't look amused and gave him a handkerchief. Zoro raised his eyebrows when he caught sight of them.

"…Rayleigh, the hell are you doing here…"

"You're a bit slow, aren't you Roronoa. I might ask _you_ why I've had such a hard time trying to get in here if all you were doing is canoodling with this icicle."

"It's definitely not how it looks," Zoro growled, Hancock elbowing him in the face to twist and glare at the old man herself. She tightened her jaw and tried to look down on him like she normally would have, except she had to go on tip toe to lean her full weight on Zoro's chest, him bending to accommodate and cursing her dominating height.

"The hell do you want, Rayleigh. Who told you that you could walk freely on my island."

"I did, you ungrateful brat," Nyon's voice cracked from the shadows, apparently having fallen behind the mob determined to save Hancock from the unknown horrors that had befallen her. The guards that had been hesitant to let them pass into the building, even for an emergency, now looked unsure of how to best serve their empress; their faces twisted in the opposite direction of her body and they squeezed their eyes shut. The old woman finally caught up and nodded at her discomforted subjects. "Put some clothes on before you kill everyone…"

Hancock took the comment for more than the sarcastic bite it sounded like to Zoro, instantly appreciating the way he was holding her. She didn't feel like acknowledging he'd saved her ass once again, so she instead took the liberty of giving him a final elbow to the face to loosen his grip, then in one swift motion reached back to heave his tank top over his head and over her own tits. He fell to the floor, face swollen unjustly, and didn't make any protests when she, now that her scar was covered, followed up by sliding his harameki off his waist to use as a temporary skirt.

"It has been made apparent by this recent visit of our friends the Straw Hats, that men being on the island for long periods of time is still a horrible idea," Nyon stated gravely. "Rayleigh has come with a means of moving them off the island quicker than their leisure might permit."

Hancock blinked, frowning with sudden interest. "I care not what you think of Luffy and his crew being here. Why would they have to leave more quickly than otherwise?"

"I _care nyot_ if you '_care nyot'_," the older woman spat back. "I'd rather nyot go into detail until the rest of his crew is assembled."

"If it's not too much trouble, we're all famished anyway," Rayleigh chuckled, walking past a glaring Hancock with his two unnamed associates trailing behind like they were afraid to venture too far from him. "We'll just wait for Luffy to arrive and discuss the details then."

"_Do not tell me what to do_, _you old cretin_," Hancock said with a snarl, pushing a foot into the old man's back. Zoro sweat dropped, her levels of indiscretion still unbelievable. Then he tilted his head.

"Didn't you guys have to land here at least over by where the ship is? The rest of the island is cliffs…you didn't run into anybody before you got here?" He was going to be a little peeved if the answer was 'no'. Was nobody concerned for his safety inside this locked down prison of torment? Well, that is, until that little moment they'd had before the night had (literally) gone to the dogs…not that he was going to admit he was hoping anybody cared about him getting stabbed to death…

"I'm having the appropriate refreshments prepared for you and your…friends," Hancock hissed, flicking hair over her shoulder. "Can you at least tell me who they are since you've barged into my home at such a ridiculous hour and insist on meeting everyone?"

"I guess if they'd like to introduce themselves I don't really care," Rayleigh rasped with a shrug, waving them on to an introduction if they chose to give one.

"My sister will want to wait until Straw Hat Luffy is here," the man spoke, coming forward and bowing towards Hancock and her siblings, then to Nyon. Zoro studied his tanned face and the small earring in his left ear. An onyx stud. The same color as his hair, falling into a low ponytail over a navy blue cloaked physique that suggested he was an athlete. He wore buckskin leggings and moccasins, unpainted and worn with wear and tear.

The sister's hair was the same as her brother's, but it hung in two low pigtails that went past her chest. Her face was softer than his, heart shaped with a single red paint mark running from her eye to her cheek, and down to where her chin met her neck. Her cloak was dark brown, covering a softer brown leather dress and belt, the only decoration a handsome silver buckle fastened near her hip. Her leggings and shoes matched her sibling's. Nothing extraordinary about them.

_These people have probably been under cover…_

He smelled 'travel' and 'covert' on them. And even if he hadn't, riding around in a boat with someone like Rayleigh through the goddamn calm belt to land and demand an audience with the crazy lady in the middle of the night was kind of suspicious.

"You don't mind me asking since he's my captain," he spoke up, lazy drawl suggesting sleep deprivation and some irritation if he wasn't answered in a satisfactory way, "but you guys don't really rub the right way, the way you look and all. I'm kind of tired. Is what we're all here for going to be something worth seeing dawn for?"

To his surprise, instead of getting a shaky response, nervous stuttering that suggested he had intimidated them, or even anything verbal, the woman raised an eyebrow at Zoro with the hardened look of a woman just about fed up with men, and flung some signs to her brother. He cringed, then glanced over to see if Zoro was watching. The swordsman narrowed his eyes.

"What?"

"It's not important…"

"…That only makes me more curious…"

"I'm just the middle man, okay, my sister's a little tired anyway…"

"_What'd she say._"

The brother chewed his lip and gestured at the unamused woman beside him.

"She says you should just go sleep then if you're going to be such a pussy and keep complaining about it."

Zoro wilted, blushing with shame and gritting his teeth, especially when Hancock burst into laughter and started choking on the water one of her sisters had gotten her.

"Rayleigh," the Empress said through her tears, an impressed grin on her face, "that one isn't so bad."

"My sister is glad she could be of amusement to you, _my lady_," the brother said with just a little too much adoration in the last part. Zoro felt the veins tick under his hair. He decided to back track the conversation.

"You never answered my question. You didn't run into Luffy or anyone on the way here?"

"Well, we ran into some of your companions, but they were a little…preoccupied." Zoro wasn't exactly reassured by the way the last word had been said or Rayleigh's leering face. "And I think somebody said something about Luffy being out with a girl? I didn't know whether to hope they would find him or not…"

Zoro turned to stare at Hancock. He noticed a few things immediately, just from this seemingly innocent reaction.

First, despite the looks she was getting from multiple people in the room, she didn't seem to be registering or caring about what had just been said and remained placid while Marigold braided her hair.

Second, there was a part of himself, whatever part that happened to be, that took great satisfaction in this.

Third, whether it was emphasized by the begrudging sense of possession he was willing to admit to or just the fact that Hancock was Hancock, she looked good in his clothes.

* * *

"I'M TELLING YOU, IT'S JUST 'CAUSE IT WAS HOT OUT," Nami screamed, skin aflame and orange hair tousled with lost sleep and presumed activities. Usopp stood beside her, arms folded and completely unconvinced.

"Look, no judgement, especially because of all the weird stuff this island's got _me_ thinking, but I guess I didn't think you were the type…"

"…What's that supposed to mean…"

"One night stands? Really? It's just weird, thinking you're human…like, need to use your vagina like other mammals…"

"It's too early for this," she ground out, letting out a yawn. "I kicked Kikyo to the floor anyway…"

"You were both naked, and the floor and the foot of your bed are two different things."

"You're just jealous because one naked woman in my room is more than you've had in your whole life…"

"Your taste is strange anyway. She looks like she's ready to kill everyone else except you if anyone speaks to her…"

"Stop talking like the best friend analyzing a new girlfriend. I have no interest."

"Will you two shut up," Chopper pleaded while tending to Sanji, the cook's face still pink with remnants of the blood that had spurted out of his nose after learning of Nami's unconventional slumber party. The two had come back, still warm with drink and fire light, to find Robin, Franky, and Brook speaking with Rayleigh and some mysterious characters he'd dragged along with him. Nami herself had come out in tiny shorts and a bra, but Kikyo could've given less fucks with her bare tits and cooch drawing every eye available for sale.

"She didn't even stick around for coffee," Usopp sniffed exaggeratedly. "I mean, the sun's gonna be up soon anyway, right? Might as well make a night of it."

"I really hate you," Nami muttered, the vein pinching her cheek growing by the second. "If you're this funny during the day I may just kill you…"

"That's too bad. And after I was considering telling you what I walked in on before Brook came back…"

Nami blinked tiredly, slower with lack of sleep. "Huh?"

"Franky and Robin…being all gross on the upper deck," he whispered, wriggling his eyebrows and puckering his huge lips. "Everyone's all love-love tonight except me…"

"Sick," Nami said bluntly, narrowing her blood shot soul windows. They burned with the effort of trying to imagine something worse than walking in on Franky and Robin's first sexual experimentation. She would have to start thinking of ways to sabotage Robin's good mood if she wanted to stay pure of sight. It didn't seem fair. Just when Luffy's more sensible flame had just assured her she wouldn't be around to entertain Luffy on the ship, an even less appealing pair was probably just gearing up to make her life hell.

"You like money," Usopp said, nudging her arm. "What do you think they're gonna walk in on?"

"I'm too ready to punch you in the face to make a bet with you." She thought for a second, losing air like a week old balloon. "You really think Margaret and Luffy are doing something that cliche?"

Usopp blinked. "What do you mean?"

She shrugged. "Making out after a dramatic make up."

"You underestimate the raw sensuality of those two," he replied sagely, like he actually had any reliably intuitive moments. "He's got eight or so years of puberty to make up for. The only thing you and I can pray for is that he sticks it in the wrong hole."

"I am going to be sick, and it will be _all over you_…"

"Oi, Chopper, you alright?" Usopp finally noticed the quietly calculating look on their furry friends face, having stuck ear plugs in a still passed out Sanji's ears for securities sake. He blinked up at Usopp and scratched at his neck with one hoof.

"I don't know…I was just thinking about something…it's nothing, really…"

"Every time someone says that, it comes back to bite us in the ass," Nami commented with her pupils drilling a hole in his antlered head. "Spill it. Nothing is going to sound crazier than most of the shit that's happened to us already."

"I have to disagree," Usopp said with a twirl of his finger through his hair. "It's been pretty crazy here, but all in all, I think it's just the effect of everything happening in such quick succession. Weirder stuff has happened…"

Chopper sighed and shrugged. "I've just been thinking about Luffy and the possibility of incongruent hormone levels. These experiences are different than anything he's ever dealt with. It's very interesting to think about, but I wonder if he really is able to deal with it like a normal human, what with how quick and extreme the transition's been…"

"Meat of a different sort," Usopp mused, raising an eyebrow. "Though I don't think having a devil fruit should make it that hard to…get hard."

"He's probably referring more to Luffy's personality," Nami pointed out. "Devil fruit or no, he is a man. He has feelings. Maybe the fruit inhibits that a little somehow, but I don't think there's anything to worry about." She paused and flipped a coin into Usopp's hand. "Personally, I don't think they'll even figure out they're supposed to put it inside her."

"You're on," the sniper said cheerfully.

"Glad you guys are so laid back," their doctor sighed, face tired. "Maybe I'm worrying too much."

"You think he knows enough to not do things with people watching? He isn't the sharpest bulb in the shed," Nami put in witheringly, Chopper falling over after realizing everyone had moved on from his insight.

"And if he has to do it by himself…" Usopp muttered, the thought disturbing. "He can figure out that much, right…"

"Of course," Nami deadpanned. "I am _not_ following the future king of pirates if he doesn't know how to keep his own balls from going blue."

* * *

It had taken a lot of commotion to tear Sanji's attention away from all the attractive ladies in the room, but when it became apparent that it had something to do with Luffy, he'd kicked his rage into high gear and was prepared to finally take all of it out on his idiot captain. Then he thought better of it, confused by the sight of a tearful, frantic Margaret ushered in with Luffy's seemingly lifeless body. He might've even felt _concern_ for him had not Hancock sprang up—faster than was necessary, in his opinion—and nearly carried him to the realm of the dead herself, she smothered him so with her chest.

Not to mention the only piece of clothing between her boobs and Luffy's un-responding face was Marimo Butt's shirt. It was like layers and layers of wrong on top of one another and his mind hadn't been able to take it all in. The natural radiance exuding off Hancock combined with the disgusting prospect of a sweaty, smelly swordsman's garment (that may or may not have hair of various shady types stuck within its rotting fabric), and the unwashed, uncouth, unashamed mug of the second dumbest person he had ever met in his life (at least Luffy remembered where the goddamn bathroom was most of the time) violating the holiest of lady melons like it was routine made him physically ill and he'd crawled to a corner to cry his weight in tears.

But now. Now was the time to communicate all the festering disease this resentment had become.

Luffy had recovered from his passed out state, Margaret tackling him in relief and trying to recount possible reasons theirPLATONICEXPERIMENTATION had turned awry, to which Sanji could only conclude it was because his evil spit had disagreed with her saintly spit and they were obviously unfit to beINTHATKINDOFRELATIONSHIPwh ichSanjiWASNEVERONGOD'SGREENEARTHGOINGTOACKNOWLEDG EASATHING.

God had preordained that Luffy was Satan spawn and Margaret was an angel and this was his subtle hint for them to stop before he—and Sanji—had a stress induced heart attack.

But digressing. Yes. Now. Now he was staring machete's across the table as Luffy stuffed his fat, seemingly starved mouth while ignoring that, once again, all the attention was focused on him. Margaret was rubbing his shoulder, a permanent rouge painting her cheeks and ears with her explanation of what had truthfully happened to get him in that state.

There were only so many ways for a goddess to appropriately explain a blow job. And unluckily for her, she was an especially ungraceful middle man. Luffy offered no help. He had forgotten everything, apparently.

Sanji was going to blow a gasket.

He was just about ready to cause one of his usual female-induced scenes, when Hancock slammed her hands to the long dinging room table and stared in red faced anger at her crew mate.

"…Correct me if I'm wrong…" she said slowly, "…but the thing you have just described…this is then…not a result of any disease…"

"That's what I wanted to better explain earlier," Chopper said sheepishly.

"This island needs a serious reality check," Zoro muttered from the far end of the room, scratching his head and blinking when Hancock turned her suspicious head to gaze in his direction. Her face glowed with anger.

Margaret had long fallen to her face in a low bow, chanting every formal apology known to man up to her captain, empress, and all around superior. Apologies for her own birth, apologies for speaking to Luffy at all, apologies for laying hands on him, apologies for whatever and wherever she had with whoever and however. Hancock was barely listening, her perfect hands moving to her forehead.

Sanji suddenly realized this might turn ugly; it was true both of these women had shown romantic interest in Luffy, for whatever reason, and now it almost looked like this was where the soap opera was supposed to take a climactic turn.

Yes. This was probably where Luffy was supposed to 'choose' someone.

Unfortunately, the only thing keeping his attention at the moment was a huge rack of ribs.

"…Could someone kindly explain what in the hell is going on."

Rayleigh's raspy question was more demand than anything, which Sanji couldn't blame him for. His two companions stood at either of his shoulders, the woman making the mistake of blinking too prettily in the cook's direction. He was by her side faster than it took Luffy to sniff out the very _idea_ of barbecue.

"Mademoiselle—"

"Cool it, Ass Brow," Zoro called over. "She can't even talk and tell you to get lost herself. That's hardly a fair fight."

"It's nearly dawn. Can't we agree to hold off all matters of emotion until after we have coffee…" the brother grumbled, his sister raising an eyebrow at him and flicking Sanji in the nose. He fell backwards until he reached his chair, slumping in defeat. He returned to glaring at ignorant little Lu-chan, dick-headed bastard of the high sea's with a bounty to match the fat ass he'd have if his metabolism weren't so fuck-all. He imagined tying him to a giant fish hook and dropping him in the calm belt to let the fish battle for the world's stretchiest, deadest worm.

"Hancock-san," Chopper piped up, "are you alright? You look like you might be burning up…"

Hancock swept past the doctor and over Margaret's hands, stretched out over the glistening floor. Zoro watched her leave the room, sighing heavily. Her sister's hesitated to follow, but eventually decided to slowly disappear down the hall after her.

"Basically," Sanji grunted over at Rayleigh, "everything is this idiot's fault."

Rayleigh followed his accusatory finger to where Luffy was finishing his early morning meal, Margaret still bowed a few feet away. The old man frowned.

"I didn't peg him for the type to break hearts."

"He's the worst," Sanji replied, fishing a cigarette out and sticking it between his teeth without a light.

"Eh?" Luffy finally realized everyone was talking about him and returned to his lithe self after a sound barrier-shattering belch. Everyone groaned.

"You are the one we've been looking for, in any case," the man with Rayleigh affirmed, stroking his chin. His sister suddenly appeared shy, slipping one hand in her brother's.

"I am?" Luffy asked, tilting his head. He blinked out of his question, dropping to a squat beside an unmoved Margaret and picking her up. "Anyway, does anyone know why we're here? I was talking with Margaret and kinda blacked out or something…"

"What the hell happened to your voice…" Rayleigh muttered, sweat dropping. "You sound…manlier."

Luffy made a face. "Why does everyone keep saying that…"

"He's got facial hair, too. He's finally transforming from a kid into a man," Sanji quipped. Chopper hopped up to the chair beside him and yawned, yearning for sleep.

"I'VE BEEN A MAN," Luffy screamed, feeling extra irritation towards Sanji for whatever reason he couldn't completely recall yet. He then blinked confusedly. "Hey, has anyone seen my hat?"

"It's safe enough," his cook said with a shrug, that explanation not good enough. Luffy huffed and started down out of the castle with a still frozen Margaret over his shoulder.

"Please don't leave just yet," the brother called, Luffy stopping in his tracks. "You were going to be brought here anyway. We have something to talk about."

Luffy looked back at him. "I don't know you. I'm not interested."

"You won't take another step out of here until you've spoken with them," Rayleigh said with thundering finality. Luffy, now hearing it from his former master, seemed to have a change of heart and turned to stare at him.

"Rayleigh…what are you doing here…"

"YOU'RE JUST NOW NOTICING?!" Chopper hollered, Sanji rubbing between his curled brows.

"Never mind me," Rayleigh said passively, waving a hand. "I brought these guys here. They wanted to see you no matter what."

Luffy glanced at the woman suspiciously. "What for?"

"Don't be so crass," the old man said more gently. "This is about Ace."

Margaret finally seemed to come out of her frozen state, gasping a little and feeling Luffy's grip on her waist tighten. Sanji and Chopper stared wide eyed and silent.

Zoro's reaction went un-had. He was nowhere to be seen.

* * *

"Look, I don't know how the hell you managed to find me considering your talent for all things directional," Hancock grunted, gripping the balcony railing with white knuckles while Zoro stood off at the door, "but you need to leave. You can leave. No more of this. I'm done. Get out of here."

"Look I get it," he said, misty as the sun over the still ocean and taking another uncommitted stride toward her. "You're confused. It's mostly my fault, but you're too stubborn. If you need to talk with Luffy—"

"Dammit, _stop talking_!" she screamed, hot tears running down her face. He gave her a shocked look, both of her hands coming up to dig at her flawless forehead.

"My head hurts so goddamn much," she wailed, him moving forward more, realizing she hadn't left the room for the reason's he had originally thought.

"You need sleep," he declared quietly, wondering now how he had actually managed to find her here, chest aching harder the longer he looked into her un-composed face. "Look, I don't know what else to tell—"

"Leave me be," she pleaded, sinking to her knees and slumping to support her weight on one arm. "I told you that you could go and _you're still here_. Go."

"Listen," he hissed gently, taking a chance and moving down to her level where he thumbed her temples firmly. "You're a bitch, but you freaked out in the hallway. Worse than I've ever seen you. And you freak out a whole fucking lot. You're not well, you won't eat unless someone shoves it down your throat, you pass out all the time, and now you wonder why your head hurts."

"Do not talk down to me," she moaned, eyes rolling back into her head and flushing with the pleasurable sensation that accompanies a head massage. It didn't relieve all of the pain, but she appreciated it enough to not punch him in the teeth. "I am...I am the strongest..."

"Then why have you been so unimpressive the whole time we've been here," he teased. She blinked lazily, then dropped her heavy head to his shoulder.

"I have many things to learn," she confessed. He held her head and considered that a fair answer.

"Though, it is curious I have been so consistently out of shape while you have all been here," she said with more strength. He let her rise to her feet, craning his neck to look into her pale face. She wore a grim expression, as if she had come to some conclusion that had been weighing on her for a while.

"I do not know why Rayleigh has brought these people here, but..."

Her hair caught the strongest rays of dawn, a heavenly corona worthy of her high and mighty, bitchy, malevolent, confused, childish, perfectly conditioned head. He felt like he could easily puke numerous still functioning vital organs.

_I want you, you insane, arrogant little wench..._

"...I think it would be best if you departed with them."

She directed it to him, specifically. As in, she probably couldn't wait to have an excuse to get him away from her.

Fair enough. His face didn't betray his stitched reply.

"...Can't wait."

* * *

**A/N:** _I'm still iffy on the transition from the ship to the palace so I might change it, but here TAKE IT I WASH MY HANDS OF THIS CHAPTER...FOR A COUPLE DAYS ANYWAY._


End file.
